Author's Note: Hello, hope I didn't scare too many of you off with the angst in the last chapter. This one is still slightly angsty, but we're back to the sweet fluffiness with our favorite couple. Thanks to my beta, Arnel, just because she rocks and to all of you who are reading and reviewing. MNF

Chapter 6:

January 1979

True to her word, Anwen did indeed write me every day. Some of her notes were just little ramblings about what she'd done, while others were more philosophical mutterings about where her head and her heart were. Two days before the January Hogsmeade day Anwen wrote and told me that the Headmaster had cancelled the trip into town. The winter had been brutal in Scotland, and the roads were snowed over, Anwen joked she was afraid she'd get lost in the snow, as there were places where the drifts went up to her chest. With the bitter cold temperatures everyone was being kept inside the castle. My mood didn't improve with this knowledge. I had planned on just "happening" upon her in town.

I also hadn't been called up to Hogwarts to meet with Dumbledore at all this month, and I couldn't help but wonder if Anwen had requested that I not be brought up so that she could have her month alone. If she mentioned it to Dumbledore, I had no doubt that he would heed her wishes. He seemed to be taking his job as her guardian very seriously lately. She wrote in one of her letters that she thought he was watching her too closely, like he was studying her. It made her uncomfortable sometimes. Moony, Prongs and I had discussed it, and they suspected that it was only due to her being his responsibility and that she was as talented as she is. I hoped that it was nothing further, such as the other side taking notice of her.

The Tuesday after what was to be Hogsmeade Saturday I was surprised when no letter came from her. I'd paced the house the whole day, awaiting the arrival Midnight, but he never arrived. I found it even more troubling when my new long-eared owl, Knight, returned from Hogwarts that night without a note tied to his leg. He had flown up with a note in the afternoon the day before. That he came back with no return note was distressing.

Moony was reading the paper in the lounge that night when I went in and asked him if he thought that it was something to worry about.

"Sirius, she's written you at least once a day for the last three and a half weeks, perhaps she doesn't have anything to say. Maybe she's hanging out with the Quidditch team, they've got a match in a few weeks and Madame Pomfrey grounded all the teams because of the wind and cold. Even warming spells aren't working to keep the chill away. Ian wrote James for advice on what to do, since the weather was affecting him. Can you imagine if he's cold what someone as tiny as Anwen is feeling? He's also worried about how to prepare for a match when he can't get his team up in the air. "

"I suppose that you're right," I glumly responded as I slouched down in Anwen's chair. Moony had learned that sitting in her favorite reading chair was a nightly ritual for me. I lost myself thinking about her letters from earlier this week. She was struggling to keep up with her Herbology project, given that the poor plants she had bred weren't doing well in the cold. She'd known that having 'every season' leeks would be a challenge, but she wasn't expecting it to be quite as difficult as it was proving. Potions was an issue as well, but more due to missing parts of the fourth and fifth year lessons. There were brews she should be familiar with and have mastered that she never learned in the first place. Lily tutored her as best as she could, but tutoring through the post was not ideal.

"You don't think that she's struggling too much with the school work, do you?" I asked aloud and Moony bent the paper down and looked at me with a sigh.

"Sirius, she's smarter than you, Prongs, Wormy and I put together. I know that she's being challenged in her coursework this year, but she loves a good challenge," he rationalized and then went back to reading.

I rubbed my forehead and my eyes. Since Anwen's abrupt departure on New Year's Day I hadn't slept more than a few hours at a shot. I put a Silencing Charm up on my room every night as I climbed into bed, knowing that the memories of my childhood would grip me and I'd awaken in a cold sweat and shaking. I now also had horrific dreams involving faceless girls who would taunt and tease us and then imagine Anwen walking away from me.

You couldn't really blame you if she did indeed seek the company of someone less difficult, could you? Someone as innocent as she should be loved by someone honorable and less...damaged. Face it, Sirius, you're one fucked up arse. Maybe she's finally decided that you're just not worth the work.

I sighed and Moony again let the paper drop down to look at me.

"Tell me what's going through your head, Padfoot. You only make those noises when you're getting lost in your own thoughts," he asked. He had that tone where he sounded half perturbed and half worried.

"You don't think she's...I mean she'd have every right to. I'm not what she deserves..."

"Sirius, stop it. She's not having second thoughts and she's not interested in anyone else. She didn't write one day, it's not like she forgot you, she just didn't write today. Do you want to tell me what's really bothering you? I know you're awake half the night, I can see the light under your door but I can't hear anything from down the hall, so I assume you've cast charms on it."

"It's nothing I want to talk about," I pushed his inquiry aside. "I just don't sleep well."

"You never have, man."

"What do you know about it?" I suddenly felt defensive, with Moony.

"Sirius, we've been roommates for over eight years. All of us know that you don't sleep well. I suspect that if my father had been the brut yours was, I wouldn't sleep well either." I didn't realize that he'd been fully aware of how much he knew. I couldn't help but wonder if he and Prongs spoke about me behind my back.

"Look, I don't want to talk about my father. I don't want to talk about why I don't sleep. I just am worried because Anwen didn't write. She promised she would." I was bordering on whining about it.

"If you're that worried, write to her and ask her. I'm sure that you're going to get back a rather mundane answer like she was revising or going over tactical plays with the team. It might be something that you don't want to know about too, like that grouchy day she has every month..." he rebuked me and I nodded. I could hear what he was saying, but part of me was certain that something out of the ordinary was going on with her.

It's been weeks, maybe now that she's had time to think she isn't sure you're worth the trouble. I can't really blame her there. I certainly wouldn't think I was worth the trouble. I've gotta do something to let her know I'm thinking about her and how special she is.

"Maybe I'll go and get her something and send it up. Some chocolates or pastries or something from up on Essex?" Yeah, that's it, send her a gift. Brilliant idea. I stood up and was headed for the mudroom off the kitchen when I heard Moony yell after me.

"She doesn't need any of that stuff. Just write to her and tell her you're concerned. Things don't mean that much to her." Whatever, I can buy her things, I'm going to. I went down to the shops and got her some caramels, doubting that they were as good as the ones from Honeydukes, but they'd do. I wrote a quick note telling her that I was concerned and I hoped that I'd hear from her tomorrow. Knight took the package and flew away. I felt a bit better that I'd done something to let her know I was still thinking of her.

I slept even more poorly that night, visions of Anwen moving away from me, being swallowed by swirling clouds of mist plagued me. Taunting voices rang in my ears, telling me I had no business with her lingered long after I'd awoken. I was in a surly mood by the time I went downstairs to prepare some breakfast for myself.

Not fully paying attention, I grabbed the handle of the hot iron fry pan and burned my palm. I dropped it to avoid further damage, but missed the stovetop and it went crashing to the floor, cracking three of the floor tiles and splashing the grease around the room, including up and onto my arms. I let a string of curse words leave my mouth which alerted Moony that there was something amiss downstairs.

"What the hell happened?" he growled as he came down without a shirt on.

"Picked the pan up with my bare hand," I barked back even as I was pulling my wand out. I then told him exactly what I thought of the pan, only two of the words weren't I repaired the damages to my hand and arms he set about cleaning up the mess on the floor and repairing the tiles on the floor.

"Did you sleep at all last night?" he asked without looking at me. I turned to where his voice was, and saw just how badly his back was healing from the full moon last week. There were still gashes across his back that were pink and puckered. Unfortunately the self-inflicted wounds of a werewolf did not respond to magical healing methods. All you could do was clean them and wait for them to heal. It was usually only days before the next full moon, just in time for him to re-injure himself. Reminding myself that my roommate was ripped apart and mended monthly helped to put my frustrations back into perspective.

"No. I'm really worried about Winnie. How are you feeling? Your back is still looking pretty bad."

"Same as always," he mumbled. He helped me get everything to rights and then he started some new bangers and I made some toast. He went upstairs and got dressed before we sat down to eat in the sitting room. We couldn't use the table if we'd wanted to, it was piled high with maps and books for something Dumbledore had asked us to look into.

"Look, we've got an Order meeting this afternoon, Professor Dumbledore will be there, we'll just ask him about Anwen then. I'm sure that you'll find it's nothing to be worried about," he tried to soothe me. It wasn't working. Prongs was over before ten to finish up the research we were doing for the Order and then we went to his house as Lily had prepared lunch for us all. It was finally in the gentle eyes of Lils that I found someone who shared my concern regarding Anwen.

"No, Sirius, I think you're right to be concerned, but I seriously doubt it has anything to do with you," Lily explained. "I'm more concerned that she's obsessing over school work. She's quite frustrated at how difficult she's finding Potions this year."

"Lil, you'd tell me if I had something else to be worried about, right? You wouldn't just leave me hanging here, would you?" You sound like a pansy, Sirius. Grow a pair!

"Sirius, unlike you, Anwen tells people what she's feeling. Believe me if there was something for you to be worried about, she'd have told you already. I happen to know that her feelings haven't changed. She just needed some time, which you're giving her," Lily replied knowingly. I nodded in agreement and decided that perhaps Moony was right, I was making a much bigger deal over a day and half without a letter than there needed to be.

The afternoon meeting was at the Hogs Head in Hogsmeade. I didn't blame James for keeping an arm around his wife when we walked in, this place made some of the establishments that he and I had been in of late look like a supper club you'd take a lady to for cocktails.

The four of us were some of the first to arrive. Moony hit the bar while I followed James and Lils to the back. We had the information that Dumbledore had requested, and were unhappy that it meant that we'd be traveling to Romania within a month, but at least Anwen was away from all of this mess at school. Things felt like they were crumbling fast. If Voldemort gained power here in England, it appeared that several foreign Ministries would immediately join him.

We watched the door, waiting for Wormtail. None of us had heard from him in days, and I supposed that I if I hadn't been so worried about Anwen it would have struck me as strange. His whole family had acted oddly at Christmas and now he was scarce. I mentioned it to Prongs, but he didn't have any ideas. Moony suggested we visit him when we were done today, that is, if he didn't show up.

More members of the Order filed in and we conversed politely, but really not saying much. Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall both arrived, which surprised me, since she usually stayed behind at the school when we meet during the day. I was even more taken aback when she made a beeline for Lily and me.

"Mr. Black, Mrs. Potter, we have a bit of a situation up at the school that I need to discuss with you," she told us as she neared and I groaned at her words and tone.

"What happened to her now?" Scenarios were flashing through my head that ranged from her having another collision on her broom to being hexed by my brother.

"Miss Hodgson is recovering nicely, but she hasn't written to either of you because her hands have been incapacitated," our former Transfiguration professor explained. "She anticipated that you'd be concerned."

"What's she recovering from?" I asked much harsher than I should have, and Lil put her hand on my forearm. I wasn't surprised when Moony made his way over to us either.

"Miss Hodgson has contracted a rather nasty case of Fledgling Feather Influenza," she explained and I could feel my jaw drop. Feather Flu is one of those things you have when you're like three and it becomes a game to see which kid in your family sprouts more feathers. How did Winnie contract such a thing?

"Excuse me, Professor, but I've never heard of this Fledgling Influenza. Is it dangerous?" Lily asked.

"It's a common childhood illness among wizarding kind," she explained, "the afflicted runs a high fever, has a very sore throat and laryngitis, bad headaches and they sprout feathers when the fever is at it's highest."

"Can it be fatal?" Lils looked quite worried.

"No, not usually. However, Miss Hodgson is having a rather difficult time with the feather production since she has a predisposition to feathers," the professor explained with understanding in her eyes, "she has much heavier down than she would have otherwise. She has been unable to hold a quill, which is why she hasn't written to you since she took ill."

"Is there anything she needs? Should she come home to recover?" Lily inquired. She sounds like a mother hen. Great, making the bird jokes already, there's no way you can be doing that when you get to talk with her. She'd never forgive you.

"She doesn't want anyone seeing her, as you can well understand. Madame Pomfrey has her set up in a corner of the infirmary, partitioned off from the rest of the population. There's nothing dangerous about her, she just needs time to get better. I wouldn't send her to your house, Mrs. Potter. I'm quite certain you never had the disease either."

"Please, professor," I begged, "I know I had the flu when I was a child so she can't make me ill. Please let me go and see her." Professor McGonagall shook her head.

"She specifically said I can tell you that she's ill and that she will write when she is able, but to not let you come to see her. I'm also to say, your mates have her permission to restrain you or you'll all be stricken by her special hex when she sees you next. I am quite certain you understand what that means?" I groaned at the implication. Hate that damned thing she does. Honestly, it makes sitting... I shuddered remembering the one time that she'd gotten me.

"Yes," I sank down into my stool and took a long drag of my butterbeer. Anwen was sick and I couldn't even make her feel better. The meeting started but I was barely paying attention, even when Prongs had to recount what we'd learned and what our plans were. It was while he was speaking that I got an idea. When the meeting was over, I sprung it on the guys.

"Prongs, do you have your mirror on you?"

"No, why would I have it when I knew I was going to see you?"

"If we went and got one for Winnie, do you still remember the spell? Could you make it work with ours?" He got a knowing smile on his face and nodded.

"Yeah, I know the spell. Are you sure though? She'd still have to see you and you her. I remember when I had it I had feathers growing in the strangest places. I can only imagine how a girl would feel about it," he recounted with a disgusted look on his face.

"I just need to talk with her. She can put a sheet over the mirror if she wants. I need to hear her voice, make sure she really is okay." Great, now you're sounding desperate and needy and possessive. Total wimp man.

"Fine, if I make her a mirror she can talk with Lily too this way," he relented and we went down to Gladrags to pick something out. I was glad that Lily was with us, or I would have felt like more of a pansy than I did. James was able to do the charm work on it and we used one of the birds from the post office to send it up to school. While I was writing my note to Anwen, I could hear Prongs and Moony discussing Wormtail. I hadn't realized until now that he wasn't with us. I couldn't recall if I'd seen him at the meeting or not.

I hurried home to get my mirror out and wait for Anwen to call.

She didn't.

When it got to be nine at night and I still hadn't heard from her, I tapped on the mirror with my wand and called her. I was very confused when an image of a pink blur appeared on my mirror, and I could hear Winnie's voice but not see her. "Hello, Sirius." Her voice was very quiet and lacking in affect.

"Hello little one, why can't I see you?"

"Because I have my fingers over the mirror, Sirius. I'm certain Professor McGonagall told you I didn't want to SEE you," she said tersely.

"Little one, I don't care what you look like, I was worried about you. Please let me see you."

"No! I look like a freak."

"I'm sure you don't," I pleaded with her.

"No!" She shot back. She was in a surly mood. "How's everything at home?"

"Fine. Quiet." I didn't have much to say about it.

"Why did Lily write to me and tell me she thinks you need to be on Dreamless Sleep then?" Dammit! How is it that we have I have no privacy and I don't even live with Lils?

"It's just...you know I don't sleep well."

"You've never slept well, but Lily has never gone so far as to suggest that you need potions to sleep. Remus is very worried about you, too. He said you were so distracted at the last full moon, he nearly flipped you because you weren't paying attention to what was going on. Please, tell me the truth." I hated when she pleaded with me. I don't have the will power to deny her anything.

"Let me see you and I'll tell you about my nightmares."

"You don't play fair," she retorted.

"Never said I did."

"Please, don't laugh," she asked in a small voice and I knew that she really was worried about what I'd think of her.

"Sweetheart, I think you're beautiful no matter how you look. You're a beautiful when you're a bird too. Please, just let me see you."

"Yes, but when I'm in kestrel form, all of me looks like a bird, rather than only the odd feather sprouting out here and there. You sure you won't laugh?"

"Anwen, trust me, please." I could hear her sigh before the pink began to fade away to white. I realized that I was now looking at the sheets of her bed. "Anwen, love, let me see how bad you are. When I had them, I grew feathers out my nose. Reg had a blast with that one. I was five, he was three and he loved calling me bird beak for the rest of the summer. Let me see, love."

She was quiet for a moment, then I heard her, no louder than a whisper. "You grew them out your nose, really?"

"Swear on my father's grave."

"Doesn't really carry that much weight, Sirius. You hated your father and he hated you right back," she rebuked.

"Fine, I swear on Mrs. Potter's grave. I honestly loved her like she was my Mum."

"You must have been very silly looking," she said as the mirror pointed now at her flannel clad body. I couldn't make anything out except for the small pink flowers that decorated the nightdress.

"Silly and uncomfortable. I kept feeling like I needed to blow my nose." She laughed, just a little, but it was enough. She moved the mirror again, and I saw her face. Fine downy feathers were in her hair, on her eyelashes, her eyebrows and behind her ears. She lifted a hand and I saw why she couldn't write, her fingers were covered with more feathers. "Oh, my sweet little one." I felt horrible for her, knowing that she would face ridicule at school for getting a children's illness. I desperately wanted to laugh, she looked hilarious. Like she was somewhere between herself and a five foot bird. Her brows had taken on a distinctive arch, like she had merged with my owl, Knight, and her coloring was the same as when she was a kestrel. Laughing at her would only make things worse. I needed to show her that I could be a supportive boyfriend: that meant not laughing and not making jokes. Loving and supportive. Remember, you're loving and supportive, not a git.

"I'm okay, Sirius. The fever broke this morning and the headaches are abating," she explained glumly.

"Did they tell you how long the feathers would stick around?" Anwen shook her head. "Are you sure you don't want to come home? Moony and I both it already."

"I'll stay here," she said with such sadness in her voice. "I can keep up with my classes this way."

"You are still beautiful, little one." She let the corners of her mouth curl up and shook her head just a little.

"That's not true, but thank you for saying it. You haven't made any jokes yet. That must be killing you."

"What kind of boyfriend would I be if I teased my girlfriend about being sick?" I asked her while grinning madly. Complete wimp.

"What kind indeed," she said quietly. "I like how that sounds, you know. I like that you think of me as your girlfriend." She bit her lip and then let it go, looking away as she blushed and I needed to laugh now at her reaction. That's the first time that she's called herself that!

"Nope, no jokes. They won't make you feel better and it will just make me a git." She tittered at my words, and I loved the sound it made.

"Fine then, you're getting points for being a supportive boyfriend. Now, let me do the same. Tell me about the nightmares."

"They're the same as always," I wanted to ignore it, just pay attention to her, but she was having nothing to do with that.

"That's a lie. We all know what your regular nights are like. If both Lily and Remus have written to me to tell me they're worried, then it must be bad. Sirius, tell me, please dear?"

I couldn't refuse her when she called me dear, so I told her. I unloaded all of my fears and how they played out in my dreams. She listened and said the things she normally did to dispel my worries. I felt so comforted by just hearing her voice.

"Sirius, go get ready for bed, I'll talk with you until one of us falls asleep. If you wake up tonight, you call me, and I'll be right here. I will always be here when you need me," she promised. I practically ran to the loo and magically changed and quickly did the cleansing spell on my teeth and face and was back in less than a minute. She dozed first, but I stayed on, watching her feather-covered face and hearing the gentle rhythm of her breathing.

It wasn't a nightmare free night, but it was better than I'd had in a long time.