So, I'm going to try my hand at updating twice a week again.
It might not work out too well because I work a shit ton.
Gotta pay for a private college somehow...
But anyways, I do not own Naruto. Enjoy my lovelies.
I literally have no voice. I'm that sick.
Working Drive-Thru sucks.
You wanna know what one of the cutest things in the world is?
Watching Kisame, Hidan, Deidara, the good members of Taka, the Konoha 11, Sai, Kathryn, Akamaru, and Sable play hide and seek with a three year old and a four year old.
Itachi and I sat beside Sasori, Kakuzu, and Kakashi watching our idiots run around with my kids. Pein and Konan were at a private meeting with the Kage where no advisers were needed hence why Itachi and I weren't with them. Tiburon and Sanaa were it this round since they were a two-man team and they were searching for their victims, using ninja techniques
Sable was on their team, but her main target was Akamaru who she enjoyed messing with. Surprisingly, since he was a ninja-dog, she was bigger than him and faster. He had experience and… dog-jutsu on her, but she, being a wolf, is naturally better. But, their antics had gotten to the point where she and Akamaru just played their own game.
To be honest, it's kind of cute. Like... canine flirting.
It's a good thing Akamaru isn't allowed to breed with a non-ninja dog.
Or wolf in Sable's case.
Currently, my son and Kathryn's daughter had split up after finding Kathryn and a few Konoha 11 members in order to locate the others. Tiburon was dead set on finding Kisame and Sanaa was determined to find her daddy.
"Mommy, do you see them?" Tiburon asked, looking towards me.
"No, but I can help you." I smirked. "Art is eternal!" I shouted.
"NO IT'S NOT, UN!" Deidara protested loudly, sticking his head out of a bush to glare at me.
Sanaa giggled while her mom snorted with laughter. Sasori merely rolled his eyes and face-palmed. "Found you daddy!"
I smiled. "Hidan! You're a dumb ass!"
"Fuck you Alice!" Hidan shouted, throwing a kunai at me. Itachi caught it boredly and threw it back at Hidan. It cracked into his head and he fell out of a tree, allowing Tiburon to run up and tag him.
"Got you Hidan-oji!" Tiburon announced with a grin.
"You Uchiha fucking suck." Hidan growled, getting to his feet.
Itachi smirked victoriously.
"Wanna help us find people, Hidan-oji?" Tiburon wondered.
Hidan shrugged. "Why the fuck not?" He rumpled Tiburon's hair. "Your stupid Uchiha uncle is in a tree about fifteen feet in. Jūgo's over by the river with that white haired shit from Kiri. Ask Sable to find people for you. She's good at that shit."
"Kay." Tiburon smiled. "Come on Sanaa."
"Tiburon, Sanaa, do not go into that river." I called. "If you do, you're going to be in trouble."
Tiburon nodded, looking up at me as Sanaa joined him. "Okay Mom." Sanaa merely beamed at me.
I watched him run off with Sanaa before sighing. "He's going to go into the river."
"Most likely." Itachi stated, running his fingers through my hair. "Kisame, watch him please. He will get angry if we interfere with his game."
Kisame dropped down from a tree not too far away and nodded with a grin. "I'm on it."
I watched Kisame trail after Tiburon and Sanaa before I noticed something different. I looked passed Kisame and my eyes narrowed when I made out a stocky, pale man standing on the other side of the river, watching us.
"That asshole is watching us again." I huffed. I had told the others about that guy and Sasuke glared at the wall for like fifteen minutes. Hidan volunteered to kill him, but Pein beat him with a lamp so he wasn't allowed. Everyone else was suspicious, but they pretty much sided with Itachi and told me I was overreacting. Pein threatened to lock me in the tower with the bodies he wasn't animating if I started anything with Sonido.
Of course, that enticed a sarcastic reaction from me which made a few people blush/nosebleed/start laughing. Pein face-palmed and then pulled out his trump card.
Uchiha deprivation.
Hell to the fucking no.
I gave in.
However, that didn't stop me from bitching about it. However, Pein and the others could just ignore me.
Sasuke was the only one to agree with me.
"He's probably just curious, Alice." Sasori soothed. "We were previously a criminal organization and you're a rather vocal and violent woman who lacks a profanity filter and chakra. It is unique and I'm sure he's curious and slightly suspicious. You shouldn't read into things so much."
Kakashi patted my shoulder. "He's right, Alice. We thoroughly investigated him before we allowed him into Konoha."
I stood. "Whatever. I know a sketchy as fuck dude when I see one."
"Where are you going, un?" Deidara wondered as he reached our sitting spot. He kissed Kathryn fully and looked around at me as I began walking away.
"I'm going to keep an eye on my son with Creeps McGee around." I told him.
"Tiburon went towards the river." Kakuzu pointed out. "You're going the wrong way."
I glanced at him, still walking towards the woods. "I'm going to get Sasuke."
Itachi raised his eyebrow.
"I'm getting him because he's the only one who doesn't think I'm just being a cranky bitch when I say that guy is strange." I explained, not even bothering to look back.
Sasori chuckled. "I think that means you're sleeping on the couch, Itachi."
I smirked as I walked away, amused by Sasori's statement. I reached the tree line soon enough and when I did, I walked about fifteen feet in and looked around. "Sasuke?"
A quiet thump sounded behind me and I looked around to see my brother-in-law cocking his head to the side at me curiously. "What's wrong Alice?"
"Wanna come with me to watch over Tibby and Sanaa? Creeper is standing on the other side of the river watching us. I'm not comfortable with my son being out of my sight while he's around." I explained.
Sasuke's eyes narrowed and he nodded. "I'll come."
"Thank you." I smiled. "Come on. He went towards the river to find Jūgo and Suigetsu." I whistled. "Sable!"
A howl was my response and Sable came bounding over to me from the darkness of the trees. Her tail wagged excitedly and she trotted after Sasuke and I as we made our way towards the river.
When we got there, Tiburon was drenched from the river and Sanaa was sitting on Jūgo's shoulders, laughing at Tiburon who was hanging upside down in Kisame's grasp. Said shark had just emerged from hiding and got drenched himself when Tiburon tried to chase after Suigetsu and tripped into the shallows.
Tiburon, of course, then proceeded to swim after Suigetsu, not caring that he was swimming in a river and not the lake near the base. Because he was four, he basically wasn't swimming in the current at all and it had only been a matter of time before he was swept away.
Suigetsu took off running when he saw me and Sasuke emerge from the woods, knowing we would be angry at him for provoking Tiburon. Kisame simply handed me my son without a word and preformed a quick jutsu to dry his clothing.
"Care to explain?" I asked, looking at my soaked son.
He pouted. "It's Suigetsu's fault."
"Of course it is." I said with a roll of my eyes. I took Sanaa from Jūgo when he approached and she sat on my shoulders while Sasuke took Tiburon. "We'll see what your dad thinks."
Tiburon huffed. "Dad's gonna be mad at me."
"Oh so my opinions don't matter?" I asked.
"You love me more." He pointed out with a hopeful smile. He was trying to butter me up.
Brat.
I rolled my eyes. "Tiburon, your dad loves you more than anything. He'd probably throw me to the sharks."
"Don't worry Alice." Kisame grinned. "I wouldn't eat you."
I smirked. "Thanks Kisa."
"Now Tiburon…" Kisame mused playfully.
Tiburon grinned at him. His grin faded however, when the others came into view and Itachi began walking over to us with Kathryn. Kathryn was skipping, but that's not important. What is important is that Tiburon buried his face into Sasuke's shoulder, knowing he was going to get scolded.
"Come here baby!" Kathryn cooed, snatching Sanaa from me. Sanaa giggled and hugged her mother, both of them squeezing each other and grinning like idiots.
They're so cute.
Itachi reached us shortly after Kathryn did and he kissed my cheek and took my hand before his eyes flicked to Tiburon. He assessed Tiburon's drenched clothing before he sighed. "Tiburon."
"It was Suigetsu's fault!" Tiburon said firmly. "I didn't mean to go in the river."
Itachi raised his eyebrow. "From the way you're denying it, it makes me think you did it on purpose."
"Daddy, I didn't mean to." Tiburon pressed. "I'm sorry."
Itachi dipped his head, appeased by Tiburon's apology. And because he's a sucker for Tiburon's sad face. "Apology accepted."
"You're on probation though." I told Tibby, taking him from Sasuke. "We're going back to the hotel so we can get you some dry clothes. And you're taking a bath. I don't want my son smelling like river water. That's Suigetsu's job." Jūgo chuckled.
"Oi!" Hidan barked. "Ice Bitch!"
I sighed. "Yes Hidan?"
"Make dinner!" He said firmly.
I glared at him. "I will do what I want when I want, you shut your mouth." I adjusted Tiburon in my grasp before I started in the direction of the hotel.
By the way, the hotel we were staying in was freaking huge and really, really convenient and nice. We were able to get four rooms, all connected to each other in a big block and there was a private little kitchen thing near the rooms that was open to the rooms to use. Needless to say, Hidan talked Kakuzu into getting rooms at this hotel because of the kitchen.
Plus, the owner gave me a huge discount.
He's a big fan of my chicken and noodles.
Anyways, Itachi followed me, Sable, and Tiburon to the giant room we all shared with Kisame, and he sprawled out on the couch thing while I prepared Tiburon's stuff for him. Sable sat beside Itachi's feet, her head cocked to the side as she watched me.
"Okay Tibby, bath's ready. Go ahead." I told him, rumpling his hair. He looked up at me from the shuriken he was cleaning and threw me a smile before jumping to his feet and darting towards the bathroom. "Go keep an eye on him, Sable."
Sable made a snorting noise and she trotted after Tiburon, allowing him to close the door behind her. Once the door closed, I smirked and wandered over towards my weasel who was lying on the couch with his eyes closed. His emotionless expression turned into a small smile when he felt my hands begin exploring his torso.
"I can't get over how sexy you are." I told him, bending over him to kiss his lips softly. "Even after all this time, you still take my breath away."
Itachi opened his eyes and he kissed me back, lifting one of his hands to keep my face close to his. "You took the words right out of my mouth."
I smirked a bit. "Remember when we first met?"
"Which time? Do you mean the very first time when I was a kitten or the first time when we were both humans?" He asked. "Both circumstances were rather… different."
I snorted at the memory. "I forgot about the kitten part for a second. I'm sure that was rather traumatizing for you, since you had to deal with me being all creepy."
"Had to deal with?" Itachi repeated with a smirk. "I still do."
"You're damn right you do." I grinned, rubbing my nose against his. "But, screw the kitties. I have you now and Tibby. I wouldn't change it for the world."
Itachi's gaze softened and in an instant, he had me pinned to the couch beneath him, his lips pressed to mine. "Nor would I, Alice. I love you and Tiburon more than words can explain."
I just responded my wrapping my arms around his neck to anchor him to me.
We stayed like that for a time, neither breaking the silence. We just held each other and exchanged kisses at random intervals. However, even after all these years, our alone time never goes uninterrupted.
"Ew!"
Itachi and I broke apart to see Tiburon standing in the bathroom doorway with wet hair and a towel wrapped around his person. Part of said towel was positioned so it was like a hood on his head.
"No kissing!" He said with a grossed out face, wiping some water from his face with his towel-covered hand. "That's gross!"
Itachi and I glanced at each other before we both smirked and Itachi darted towards Tiburon at the same time I did. Tiburon screamed and ran back into the bathroom, trying to get away from us. He forgot to close the door though so we caught him.
I scooped him up and started kissing his face. "Awe, but you always love it when I give you kisses Tibby!"
Tiburon giggled and squirmed in my arms, trying to get away from me. Satisfied that I punished him for disrupting me and Itachi, I handed him over to Itachi so Itachi could torture him.
Itachi, who wasn't overly affectionate and crazy like me, simply kissed Tiburon's forehead a few times before setting him down on the floor. Tiburon hit Itachi with his towel before darting out of the room when Itachi turned, acting like he was going to attack.
Itachi chuckled when Tiburon disappeared with a yelp and he shook his head before looking at me. "He is just like you."
"Yeah, but he looks just like you." I pointed out. "Which is both a good thing and a bad thing."
"Why?" He wondered, kissing my cheek.
I smiled. "It's a good thing because he's freaking adorable and I'd rather him look like you than me. However, it's a bad thing because I'm going to have to kill all the girls who try to date him."
Itachi raised his eyebrow. "Even Sanaa?"
"No. Sanaa can date him all she wants. I'm going to have to kill the boys that try to date her because she is one gorgeous little girl." I explained.
Itachi sighed. "How did I know you were going to say something like that?"
I patted his cheek. "Because you know me. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to see if I feel like making dinner. If I don't, we can go out somewhere." I looked back at him as I reached the door. "And if you're good, I'll let you get some dango."
Itachi's eyes lit up slightly. "Define good."
I just laughed lightly and left the bathroom, heading towards the door to the hallway. I slipped my shoes on before leaving the room and heading towards the kitchen. Once I got there, I inspected their supplies before checking out their utensils. Satisfied with what I found, I decided I was indeed going to make dinner.
Whipping out my cell phone, I called Kathryn.
"Hi Momma!" Kathryn said, answering after three rings. "What's up?"
"What do you guys want to eat? The kitchen here has a shit load of stuff I can make. Ask the others too if you're around them." I asked.
I heard Kathryn shrug. "I don't care what you make. Hey guys, what do you want Alice to make for dinner? She said the kitchen at the hotel is stocked."
"Nothing, because she sucks at cooking." I distinctly heard Sasori say.
"Tell Sasori I'm going to burn his puppet scrolls." I added. "I heard paper helps warm up ovens faster."
Kathryn giggled. "He heard you. He's glaring at the phone. By the way, everyone just said make whatever you want."
"I'll make a variety then. Invite Suigetsu, Sasuke, and Jūgo too. Karin can die because she's a bitch." I decided. "Start heading here. It won't take me long to make and some of you kids need to clean up before you're eating. I will not be having dirty people in my kitchen."
"Kay!" Kathryn chirped. "Thank you in advance Momma."
"Yeah." I said dismissively. "See you." I heard her reply before I closed my phone and set to work getting out stuff I would need so I could decide what to make.
As I began mentally deciding what sounded good to eat, the Akatsuki began arriving. Itachi and Tiburon were first with Sable. However, soon after, Kisame arrived and Zetsu morphed through the floor seconds after him. Kakuzu strode in boredly with Pein, Konan, and Sasuke. Suigetsu, Jūgo, and Hidan followed them and seconds after, Sanaa skipped in with Sasori and her parents.
I nodded, pleased that I was obeyed before something else caught my attention.
Kakashi, Naruto, Choji, Ino, and Lee had joined us.
"Uh…" I began, grabbing some shit out of the fridge. I just grabbed some cheese when Shikamaru, Tenten, Sakura, Sai, and Yamato slipped into the room.
They took seats at the table without saying a word.
"Kathryn." I stated.
She smiled at me. "I had nothing to do with it."
My eye twitched. "What is going on here?"
Kakashi beamed at me as Gai waltzed into the room with Neji, Hinata, Kiba, Shino, and fucking Iruka. "We heard you were making dinner."
"It's been a while since you cooked for us." Sakura grinned.
My eyes narrowed. "I hate all of you."
"I hope it's not too much trouble, Alice." Tsunade said as she walked into the room with Killer Bee, Ōnoki, Gaara, his siblings, and the Raikage.
I glared.
Sasori was smirking his head off at me.
I would have thought he did this. But then, that would require him to socialize and Sasori doesn't do that.
That bastard…
He probably put Sanaa up to it.
She's just like her mother so it would be easy to set her up to doing it. She's overly friendly, easily manipulated by people she loves, and she obeys her Danna without question.
She's Sasori's perfect little spy.
I looked over the people in the room to see the majority of the non-Akatsuki/Taka ninjas smiling at me while the Akatsuki and Taka socialized, knowing they would be fed without question. I rolled my eyes and turned back to the food. "Fine."
"Yes!" Naruto cheered while everyone else thanked me. "Make Ramen!"
I glared at him.
"Please?" He whispered hopefully.
"Of course Naruto." I smiled.
Hidan did not approve. "Oi! Bitch, how come you make what he fucking asks you?"
"He said please." I pointed out. "You demand. And don't cuss in front of my son or I'll rip your head off."
Said child was talking animatedly with Gaara who sat between Naruto and Killer Bee. Tiburon sat between Naruto and Sasuke. Sasuke was silent, watching Kakashi and Yamato discuss some of the more troublesome ANBU missions they were on in the past.
"That's fucking bullshit." Hidan growled. He yelped and dodged the knife I threw at him. "What the hell?"
"I just told you not to cuss in front of Tiburon." I growled.
Hidan pointed. "He's not even fucking listening!"
I narrowed my eyes at him. "Itachi, deal with him."
Itachi, who had been walking back to his seat from pulling the knife out of the wall, smacked the back of Hidan's head harshly, forcing it into the table. "Idiot."
Just about everyone snorted with amusement at Hidan's misfortune.
I'm pretty sure Shikamaru would have high-fived me if he wasn't a lazy bastard.
"Thanks babe." I smiled when he approached me to give me the knife back. "You get dango later."
"Hn." Itachi grunted, kissing me before sitting between Pein and Kisame.
I was left without a seat like always. Though, Sasuke or Kisame would probably end up holding Tiburon so I could sit down because they're good people.
"If anyone makes a mess in this kitchen and leaves it for me to clean up, I swear I will sick an angry Itachi on you." I snapped. "I will also poison your next meal. Poisons are courtesy of one Sasori no Akasuna."
Sasori chuckled. "What if I make the mess?"
"Then I will burn one puppet for each inch of mess you make." I said boredly, busying myself with cooking. "And yes, my threats do include you Kage."
Tsunade smiled, amused by my threats while the Raikage and Ōnoki smirked. Gaara just allowed a small lift to his lips, too busy listening to Tiburon explain when he stole Deidara's fully charged clay and detonated Hidan's room with it.
Yeah, my son's a bit of an arsonist.
He gets it from his daddy.
I'm actually rather partial to the next chapter.
I don't know why, but I like it. This one sucks. I don't like it.
But anyways...
Fun Fact: I can lick my elbow. Is that weird?
Answer: I don't remember what the question was... Oh yes. I graduate this year:) 2012.
QotC: Which Uchiha is the best? Pick any and back up your answer. And yes. I mean any. Tobi doesn't count because he's a bitch.
WotC:Hmm... Amar: To love in Spanish. Example: Te amo. Or: I love you. :D
I do love you guys. You make me super happy. And your reviews make me smile. As do your messages and emails. The support does wonders for me. Seriously.
I'm going to try this twice a week updating again thing for you guys. I couldn't care less if I updated once a month. But I live to please you lovely people.
No, I'm going to go learn sign-language so I can talk to people. I've been using notepads and shit at home and school so I can save my voice for work.
Why?
Because I get paid there.
So, see you XD