The corridor was bare and empty as Severus stamped his feet, fury at his judgement being questioned causing his blood pressure to rise alarmingly. Turning at the end in a swirl of robes he almost tripped over someone who exited an unnoticed door on his right. The person fell over and landed with an undignified 'oomph' and a clattering of wood. Startled, Severus looked down then smirked at the sprawl of robes on the Floor.
"Graceful as ever, I see, Potter," he murmured, holding out his hand then almost flinching when he remembered the boy was now as blind as the proverbial bat. Reaching down, he grasped the boy's collar and hauled him unceremoniously to his feet while the boy, no, man spluttered and struggled. "Oh, do behave, you idiot," Severus reprimanded as he steadied the man. "I have never met anyone who was so graceful on a broom and yet could not keep two feet on the ground without tripping over invisible obstacles every five seconds, except perhaps Nymphadora. Well, what do you have to say for yourself, instead of grinning like an idiot? Cat got your tongue?" Severus demanded after a few moments silence.
"No, Sir, I was just enjoying the nostalgia. A good old-fashioned rant, courtesy of Severus Snape, is an occasion to be savoured. They are so rare these days." The young man laughed, straightening his robes and dark glasses.
"Cheeky boy!" Severus replied with a bark of laughter. "How have you been keeping?"
Harry sighed. "Oh, you know, worshipful crowds, public pity-parties, howling groupies…" He smiled as his one-time nemesis laughed for the second time. "Seriously, Ginny and I have just returned from our honeymoon and have bought a rather rundown house in Muggle London, away from the adoring fans. Ginny wasn't feeling too well and because she is Mrs Boy-Who-Lived, everyone went into a flap and insisted she come up here and get ready for a full physical. I personally think it's most likely the stress of trying to redecorate the old wreck of a house we bought, too many renovation charms. I don't think she and Hermione have had one day free from interior decorators, workmen and delivery people since we arrived back in the country. Do yourself a favour Severus, never allow anyone to dictate how you plan to decorate your dungeon. There are some weird designers out there!"
"Yes, stress can eat holes in your guts, believe me." Severus agreed with a shudder. "Does she need some sort of calming medication? I could probably do her a potion or two, or even a cheering charm, although they were never my best spells."
It was Harry's turn to laugh, the mental picture just too absurd. He was about to comment when the door behind him was pulled open abruptly, causing both wizards to turn with their wands out instantly. The Medi-witch squeaked and staggered aside, leaving a clear view of the bed and the red haired young woman lying there with arms folded mutinously. She met the black gaze of her former teacher fully and defiantly before clicking her tongue in exasperation.
"Have you found the idiot Medi-wizard and are we done yet?" she asked flatly.
"I don't know, Ginny, are we done?" Harry asked with a cheeky grin and accio-ed his stick before tapping his way back inside the well-appointed examination room. Severus hovered for a moment but his arm was caught and he was dragged inside before he could make a rational decision.
"Professor." The red-head acknowledged before turning to tut at her husband. "This is ridiculous, you know, there's nothing really wrong with me that a little calming draft will not cure. I've told them and told them but they just keep telling me to hush and wait until the Medi-wizard comes to examine me and order some tests or some such rubbish."
"You're just back from your honeymoon, humm, Potter? You may have caught the Ra fever," Severus murmured softly, causing the woman to stop mid-rant.
"The… what?"
"Ra fever, you know, the Honeymooners and clubber's disease, really prevalent amongst both groups. The worst of it lasts about nine months but the consequences are ongoing for the rest of your life." He watched their blank faces with a smirk that only Ginny could really appreciate. "The difference between Contraceptus and conceptus is 'RA', you thick wits, something honeymooners and drunks are too baffled to remember," he informed them smugly and watched as Ginny blushed bright scarlet and Harry's ears turned a fetching shade of pink. "Acclaro Foetus," he intoned, pointing at the girl. A soft golden haze enveloped her belly then blushed a bright pink before fading away. "A girl, two to three weeks along. Congratulations, you are not the boy-who-lived but the man-who-procreated. Merlin help us all, more Potters!"
Both young people let out a squeal of pure delight then flinched as a spell flashed in the room, Harry reacting only a millisecond before his wife. The Medi-witch looked a little dazed as Severus shrugged and slid his wand away again, the discrete Obliviate only just registering on the couples' minds.
"You really didn't want that piece of news touted all over the Daily Prophet, did you?" Snape asked at their questioning looks.
"I suppose not but…"
"He's right, we get enough unwanted attention without that." Harry cut off his wife's protest with a grim nod. "Thanks, Severus. So what tests did the Medi-wizard want to do on you?"
"He seemed more interested in getting someone more skilled in the Dark Arts detection to look for curses and dark magic than actual ailments," Ginny replied disgustedly. "Quite idiotic, really."
"There's a lot of paranoia left over from the war. I would look for curses first but I would have thought medical personnel were more sensible than that," Severus mused then jumped as both young people yelled 'constant vigilance' in harmony then fell about laughing. "Quite," Snape smirked as the door opened again and the Medi-wizard came in, astonished to see the black clad man with his patient.
"Oh, forget it. Professor Snape gave us some calming draft and I feel a hundred percent better already. There is no dark magic or curses on me, just too much stress over our building renovations," Ginny snapped, quickly re-transfiguring her robes and swinging her legs off the bed decisively.
Both medical personnel waffled and exclaimed as she took her husband's arm and allowed their ex-potions professor to usher them out the door.
"You must come for tea next Saturday afternoon, Severus, we will open the Floo for you," Ginny informed the professor and it was not an invitation but an order. "Oh, and you may inform Professor Dumbledore of the development, I'm sure you will enjoy that," she added with a very fine smirk of her own.