Hey, it's me. I felt mean making you wait for the next chapter, so it's here already. Just as a note though, the chapters are getting longer and they're going to carry on doing so, so you'll have to bear with me while I type them up. The title is explained in this chapter, and there's a big discovery about the baby…

Part 2

October

It's a gorgeous day, the kind you only get three-odd days a year, if that. The sun is shining and it's warm, but not too warm, and not humid at all, even down by the river. A breeze is blowing, and I'm only wearing a short sleeved t-shirt, so as I climb out of my car I put a jacket on and nestle my hands in the pockets. At least I would if there wasn't a piece of folded-up paper in the left hand one. I pull it out to see what it is.

It's Lucas' letter, the one he wrote before he left. Have I not worn this jacket since June? That was when I last looked at the letter, so I guess so. I read it through again.

I notice a lot of links between us now. I mean, the fact that he messed up is the reason I'm in this situation in the first place. And I guess I chose the easy way too - the right way would have been to tell him as soon as I found out. He does have the right, after all. But he said himself that he went to Charleston for a new start, a new start that – I'm just guessing, of course – didn't involve a pregnant ex-girlfriend.

I open the glove box and put the letter inside, then start walking down the riverfront. I feel the wind in my hair, the sun on my back, and take a deep breath in, knowing that, for the moment, everything is sorted out.

June

I was sat in the waiting room of the Tree Hill Community hospital four days after I told Jake and my parents 'the news'. Mom and Daddy were sitting next to me, saying nothing, but sometimes I would catch Daddy looking at me or feel Mom's hand on my knee. I was thinking about the dream, the one with Lucas – I'd had it again the night before, and the impact wasn't any less second time round. My head was such a mess that I didn't even hear when the nurse called my name, I just noticed my mom standing up and holding her hand out to me. I think both parents were a bit shocked when I asked them to stay outside, but they did without a fight.

The nurse said, "Hi Miss Davis, can I call you Brooke?" and smiled. I didn't respond. "I'm Marie Stone, and I'll be carrying out the ultrasound scan today. Would you like to get up onto the bed?

I stayed where I was.

"Look, I'm not even sure I'm going to have this baby, I'm probably going to have an abortion anyway, so can I just–"

"Brooke, when there's a 'not sure' or a 'probably' involved with an abortion it's best to think about it first. Having a look at the baby may help you decide."

She was right, I guess. I reluctantly sat on the bad and swung my legs up, then reluctantly pulled up my top. My belly's getting bigger by the day, and I hate it.

Marie explained the whole process before she did anything, then said, "Ok, so I'm just going to put the jelly on now, and we'll start," and then the image flickered up on the screen. A baby.

My baby.

Marie pointed out everything: the head and the face, the body, the arms and the legs. It's truly amazing that this little thing is growing inside me, yet at the same time it's very, very scary.

"Ok, Brooke, do you know how far along you are?" Marie asked.

I shook my head, because everything is so messed up I couldn't work out dates.

"Is this your first scan?"

"Yeah, I only found out a few days ago." I replied, confused. "Why?"

"Well, judging by the extent to which the baby has developed, I'd say it was about twenty… yes, twenty-one weeks old, but it's very small. I suppose if you only just found out about the pregnancy you could have been leading an unhealthy lifestyle for the baby…" she said, I think more to herself than me. She made a few notes. "But it means we can tell what the sex of the baby is going to be. Would you like to know?"

I'd thought about this long and hard before the scan, and I still couldn't decide whether I wanted to find out or not. I mean, if I knew I was having one or the other, would it change how I felt about getting rid of it? Would it somehow make it into a real human being?

I shook my head.

"Well, I've got it on file here, so if you change your mind…" Marie started to wipe the jelly stuff off my stomach, then did a few more tests. When she'd finished, she said, "Here are the things you need, leaflets and things, I'm referring you to a dietician who can sort your eating out if you are keeping the baby, and because you're underage, I'll have to refer you to a social worker. I'll just fetch the number now. Do you want to wait outside or stay in here for a bit?" she raised her eyebrows.

"Can I just stay here for a second?" I asked as I pulled down my top.

"Sure." Marie left the room but closed the door behind her so I'd have some privacy. I skimmed through some of the leaflets. Which choice is right for you? one of them read. I still have no idea how I'm going to make the decision; it's one of the hardest I'll ever have to make. The ultimate: my life or my baby's?

As I opened the door and stepped out into the living room, my parents started towards me, but before we reached each other, Peyton came in, looked round and saw me. She ran over and gave me a huge, chest crushing hug, while talking a mile a minute and if there's anything she can do, she'll do it.

Jake walked in behind her, carrying Jenny. He came to stand beside me and Peyton. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to tell her, but she cares so much about you and she reads me like a book." he smiled.

Peyton stepped back and laughed, while wiping a tear out of her eye.

"Is the baby ok?" Looking over Peyton's shoulder, I noticed that my parents had sat back down.

"Yes, the baby is fine, and – oh, I really don't want to call the baby 'it', but I don't want to know the sex just yet." I looked at Jake and Peyton.

"Well, before Jenny was born, Nicki and I called her Bean, because she looked so tiny on the scans." Jake suggested.

"Oh, that is so cute!" I laughed, "Baby Bean Jagielski." and tilted my head. "Baby Bean Davis?"

Jake smiled and nodded. "If you like."

I suddenly noticed that Peyton had disappeared, so I looked around the room and saw her talking to Marie, and then they came over to me and Jake. Marie nodded at him.

"Is this the father?"

Jake shook his head. "I'm really going to have to stop hanging around with you, aren't I, Brooke?" he joked.

"Oh. So, anyway, here's all the information you need, including the social worker's number, and here's a picture of the scan." Marie gave me a couple of pieces of paper. "But you really need to think about what you're going to do, because you'll only be able to have a termination within the next few weeks, unless we find a medical reason for one. All you need to do now is make a new appointment on the way out, and maybe I'll see you soon." Marie smiled, looked at her list, and called out the next patient.

A few minutes later Jake was changing Jenny, my parents were getting coffee, and Peyton and I were sitting on the horrible plastic chairs in the hospital reception. I was reading through my sheet of information that Marie gave me, and occasionally having a look at the picture of the baby – Bean, I suppose.

"You know, the only thing I regret is not finding out what the sex is." I sat back in my chair.

"Well," Peyton said knowingly. "It's just as well I asked, isn't it?" I turned to look at her.

"Oh Peyton, please tell me. If you do, I will owe you, like, more than I already do."

"Are you sure you want to know?"

I nodded my head eagerly.

"Well, ok, I'll tell you, but as long as.. well, as long as you don't name her Brooke Junior." She grinned.

A girl, I thought.

I'm having a little me! I can teach her to shop, and to put on make up, and the art of seduction!

I mean, that is if I'm going to keep her.

I looked at my due date again – it's in mid November – and thought about what Marie had said to me. 'I'd say twenty-one weeks gone…'

"Twenty one weeks." I said aloud. "Peyton, how many months is twenty one weeks?" It hadn't clicked earlier but now it seemed a strange figure.

"About… four and a half months. Why?"

Four and a half months. I counted back four and a half months. April wasn't that long ago. Around February, that must have been the time I got pregnant. So–

Suddenly that dream made so much more sense.

"Oh my god." I looked at Peyton. "Oh my… it's Lucas' baby."