Chapter 6 – Seducing Sasori

Itachi did not want to be there. He would rather be stabbing something until it screamed for mercy and then stabbing it some more, purely for his own sadistic pleasure.

Speaking of sadistic pleasure, her noted while absently checking his nail polish for any chips or damage, that blond girl with the four pony tails that just appeared to check out what the noise was seems to have a bit of a stubborn streak.

"Hey, sweets," he purred into her ear, waiting for a reaction.

He got one but it definitely wasn't one he had expected. She elbowed him in the ribs, glaring all the while.

"I'm no one's sweet anything, lover-boy," she hissed at him with more then a little venom laced in her voice before continuing the casual walk the group had adopted after removing themselves from the rubble.

"You will be soon," he muttered quietly so even he couldn't hear.

It would be fun to break her.

He was shocked out of his rather perverted thoughts by a hand slapping him shoulder, intending to get his attention but instead just managing to piss him off.

Not that it really took much to piss him off in the first place.

His fury was interrupted by Sakura asking Gaara a question, still speaking in the same high-pitched, annoying voice she had been using since she had first entered the Sand village, "Mr. Godaime-Kazekage-person-sir? Why do I need guards with me while I'm here? The Hokage said that you personally ordered that I have people able to protect me. Why?"

Good question.

Their curiosity spiked when Gaara started glaring at everybody – daring them to say something – while his siblings started laughing uncontrollably.

"F-F- Fan-girls!" Kankuro managed to stutter out between breaths and laughter.

"Gaara had fangirls?" Sasori asked, used to hiding his shock.

"Well, being the Kazekage and the head of the Sabaku family, of course he has girls wanting to get into his pants, un!" Deidara yelled for absolutely no reason at all. "That and he's prettiful!" he yelled again, blowing a kiss at Gaara before running off and dragging Sasori and a maid with him.

Everyone did the whole anime-style sweat-drop thing at Deidara's antics.

"Sasori said Deidara was PMSing," Sakura said by way of explanation.

"I thought Deidara a guy?" Temari asked with abject curiosity.

"He is. He's just rather feminine," Itachi snarled, getting randomly annoyed with the world and everything in it and planning to burn something very soon.

Maybe he was PMSing as well.

On second thoughts, he was always wanting to burn things and he perpetually hated the world and everyone and everything.

Maybe he was just a little emo kid.

That would explain a lot of things.

All the while Itachi was debating – with himself no less – whether or not he was emo, Deidara was cackling like a madman as he dragged two people down random hallways so that Gaara wouldn't be able to find him and kill him.

Then again, it was Gaara's house, so he would know his way around.

Shit.

It was rather amusing to watch his danna get dragged along – willingly or not – but that might just be because Sasori had a dominating complex and it was fun to see when he wasn't in charge.

He always had to be on top... He he. That sounded suss. Deidara thought to himself, the child-like side of his personality warring with his calm, heartless demeanor.

"Show us to our rooms," came the cold order from Sasori when he spoke to the maid.

Bowing reverently, the maid smiled nervously and pointed to the room directly across the hall from where they were standing before scurrying off.

"Told you I knew the way to our rooms danna, un!" Deidara exclaimed childishly as he pulled open the door to the room and threw himself inside, pulling Sasori with him.

"You didn't say anything," Sasori replied, still acting coldly. "You ran because you did something stupid and didn't want to face the consequences."

Sasori's coldness confused Deidara. Usually, he was a mixture of warm and childish when they were alone, ditching their usual heartless and untouchable mask.

It had something to do with the fact that they had both lost their childhoods and were forced to grow up too quickly. They understood that aspect of each other perfectly and neither minded – in fact it was considered normal – when they acting as children, pranking and playing the games hat they never had the chance to in the past.

It had made them close friends with a hidden undertone of something more and neither ever crossed the line or acted haughty and cold when it was just the two of them alone.

So why was he being cold now?

Deciding – perhaps unwisely – that he would somehow provoke the puppet master into telling him what was wrong, Deidara came up with a – possibly stupid and regrettable – plan.

There were four steps to the plan, the first being to act extraordinarily immature, the second to try and coax it out of him by enticing him with someone to torture, the third being to threaten him and the fourth, well let's just hope it didn't have to get to that.

Starting at phase one in his plan, Deidara ran to the nicely convenient fridge located in the far corner of the room and found some ice-cream. Laughing manically – albeit childishly – he pulled a spoon out of his… pocket – even her had no idea how it had got there in the first place – and started scooping up the ice cream, flinging it at Sasori, trying to get a reaction from him.

He got a reaction.

A scowl a glare and a raised eyebrow.

Sasori wondered what it was that was making Deidara act so childishly. Granted, Deidara often acted as if he was about three years old, but this time he was being stupid as well. Again, Deidara was often stupid but it was rare that he combined the two and then took it to this extreme.

Shrugging it off, Sasori walked to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water, opening it while sitting down on one of the two beds in the room.

Never once did they think they would have separate rooms.

He lay down on the bed, ignoring Deidara's antics for a good hour or two. He had even heard the rest of the group reach their rooms, unpack and go to dinner while Sasori just waited until either A, Deidara grew up (which was highly unlikely) or B, until he could figure out what it was that was making him act that way.

"Stupid Sasori, un," Deidara started muttering under his breath, now eating the ice cream instead of throwing it everywhere. "Phase two then, un…"

Sasori was confused by what Deidara had said. He got that it was phase two in something but that wasn't the issue. Personally, he couldn't care less that Deidara was planning something.

Deidara was always planning something.

No, the thing was that Deidara had said Sasori.

To someone else, that would not have been an issue. Being called by your name was what people were meant to do, after all. But Sasori was not a normal person. And to Sasori, having Deidara use his actual name was strange. It tipped him off that something was wrong with his blond friend.

And because of the fact that Sasori was always called either 'danna' or 'Sasori no Danna', he knew that something was wrong.

And that it was highly likely his fault.

Going through everything he had done in the past week or so, Sasori couldn't find anything that Deidara would disagree with.

Unless he was getting him back for the stunts he had pulled when they were in Konoha – the ones involving calling him a girl, trying to make him wear a dress, etc., then there was really nothing that could have triggered the sudden change in attitude.

There was no way that Deidara could have found out about his plan.

Was there?

"Uumph!" was the only noise that came out of Sasori's mouth when Deidara jumped on him.

"I didn't know you could have the wind knocked out of you, un," Deidara semi-screamed in his face. "You're a puppet. And puppets can't feel things."

With those completely random statements and actions, Deidara go off Sasori and ran out the door, yelling something about eating banana jelly beans and shaving off Itachi's hair.

Thinking over his last statement, the one about him not being able to feel, Sasori laughed ironically.

Oh, Deidara, if only that were the truth. I think I feel too much when it comes to you.

Deidara – for a reason known only to him – decided to forgo steps two and three in his plan, probably deciding that it would be treason to torture someone from the sand village and that Sasori couldn't feel, so threatening him and torturing him wouldn't work.

Step four, you see, was to, ah, seduce Sasori.

With that thought in mind, he pounced.

[This chapter is dedicated to the people who alerted

Rezangel92

Fallenfaeire

Animeloverforeva59

Asmin44

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And pockymarawr despite her being a tenacious pain in the ass and refusing to help me but she's a good author and friend