Hey guys chapter 6. the time frame's a little confusing so i put in a few pointers here and there. Enjoy!

aftermath of the wedding (part a)

Chapter 6

Timeframe: 1 hour after Mouth & Rachel's wedding

Ever stood at the crossroads of something?

Ever tread the line between the biggest mistake of your life and the only thing that has made your life worth living?

I have.

So if you haven't, don't judge me.

Not you.

'Peyton?' Lucas asked questioningly.

I paused in standstill, half-tip toeing, half cursing myself for making noise. I looked up and smiled what I suppose would be a sheepish smile. Picking up my dress, my bag, my bra, my handphone.

Where was my shawl?!

I checked my phone – three missed calls. Nathan Hp, Nathan Hp, Home.

Pulling at my hair, trying to get it into a bun of some sort.

And so this is what it feels like.

This is what it feels like.

This is what leaving feels like.

This is what it feels like to say...

'Goodbye,' I mouthed the words as I closed the door behind me, leaving behind the only man I have ever truly loved.

Timeframe: 3 months and 4 days after Mouth & Rachel's wedding

'So Peyton, you trying to clear out your art now, huh?'

crash.

'Ooooh, was that a slam of the rubbish bin.. I guess someone's pretty mad. Let me guess does it have anything to do with the fact that a certain person hasn't called for the past 7 days?'

'I really really don't know what you expect! I mean he called for 3 months straight every day and you didn't pick up, now he doesn't call and you're fuming.'

'What was that? Oh yes. 3 months and 4 days, of course. My mistake.'

'I'm sorry... not.'

laughs.

'There they go, one, two, three, four... relax! What's with the whole stack! Hey! I have an idea... you could keep all those that don't remind you of Lucas...'

'Hang on.'

'All of them do!'

laughs.

'Yeah, I guess it's cos of what he says your art matters to him. Well doesn't matter to anyone else does it?'

laughs.

'What's that? Your art matters?? Keep saying it... I may eventually believe it. But we both now you never will.'

'And now he's leaving Tree Hill. Again.'

'So I guess he's gone now... forever.'

door slams.

'Ouch. I don't know why you keep being violent with me. Wait hang on a sec... if you hit me, and I'm really you, doesn't that kinda equate to beating up yourself? Now I wonder why you'd wanna do that?'

'Oooh no throwing please. You really really should try to calm down, relax. I mean now that you're...'

Timeframe: Approximately 10 years after Mouth & Rachel's wedding

'Nathan, I'm pregnant,' Peyton said.

She turned around to stare down her husband.

'I'm not elderly! Relax a little, I can still wash the dishes for goodness' sakes,' she smiled and resumed her washing of the china.

'I'm just concerned that's all,' Nathan replied wiping soap bubbles off his wife's nose. He moved away and leaned against the kitchen table.

'Your leg still bothering you?' Peyton asked.

'Yeah a little,' he smiled. 'But it's okay...'

'Our silly son Shane, he kept insisting you take him fishing...'

'I wanted to...'

'But you shouldn't! He's really getting such a handful for a ten year old.'

Nathan smiled at the thought of the active boy with his blonde hair and his mother's green eyes.

'Speaking of which, Lucas called again, to see Shane.'

Peyton stopped suddenly, almost dropping the plate she was carrying. She struggled to regain her composure.

'Oh?' she said. 'What about?'

'He wants to spend time with him,' he said. 'I said I'd talk to you about it...'

'Nate, you know what I said, I don't want Shane mixing with him, after what he did to us. With Haley and everything.' Peyton resumed to washing her dishes with such vigor she even surprised herself.

'Yeah I know honey but he's his uncle...'

'We're his parents!' she argued, her hands shaking. 'You and me. He doesn't need anyone else.'

'You see the thing is... he's leaving Tree Hill.'

This time she really did drop the plate.

'Ouch.'

'Honey!' Nathan said rushing over and grabbing some kitchen towels. 'Be careful, come on let's go sit down.'

Peyton struggled to breathe normally. She had to stay calm, everything, everything was going to be okay.

She hated this feeling of vulnerability, being pregnant. Having someone else's life to take care of on top of your own. It hadn't helped that her first pregnancy had left her in a perpetual state of nerves, explaining to Nathan how she had 'suddenly changed her mind and went off the pill' – without telling him.

After that, she could only associate a big tummy and expectancy with a sense of fear and anxiety.

Not that she didn't love her baby boy – with all of her heart in fact.

He was hers – Shane.

But after that she had to give Nathan a child, she had to... after what she had done...

'Ouch,' she cried.

'Careful, careful... let me just put some ointment on it...' Nathan soothed.

Timeframe: 4 years, 8 months after Mouth & Rachel's wedding

'Get out.' Peyton opened the door, her hand shaking.

'Peyton, I need to know, I have a right to know... he's mine isn't he, ours... from that day...' Lucas gripped her hand firmly.

'Let go of me,' she said gritting her teeth. Lucas dropped her hand, he looked shocked – hurt even.

'Peyton... I just, I just want to know. If he's mine...' he said.

'He's not.' she interrupted.

She looked up into his blue eyes – those very same blue eyes that had saved her so many times, knowing that now she was letting go of the possibility of him ever saving her again. But she had to, for everyone's sake. In those eyes she saw what she had seen the night Brooke broke up with him, the night he lost Keith, the night she had walked out of his room, scared to say goodbye. Out loud. Hurt. Hurt that she had caused, she and she alone. And the recognition of that fact was eating her up inside.

'He's not Lucas.'

She looked up at the blonde stranger in front of her, ignoring the sound of her own heart.

'Please leave.'

The sound of her own heart, breaking.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

'I know he's ours, mine.'

'Lucas...'

'Peyton you have to let me see him...'

'Lucas I'm going to ask you to hang up the phone...'

'Peyton no! Listen to me...'

'You left Lucas... you left again and again and again...Once with Brooke, then again after we...'

'You wouldn't answer my phone calls. I called everyday Peyton, everyday. I thought you chose Nathan. It hurt me too much staying here seeing you with my brother! '

'I did, Lucas, I chose Nathan. You were right there.'

'But the boy, he's mine. I know he is. I can see it!'

'Nathan is his father. That's all he ever needs to know.'

'Peyton don't do this...Don't turn me into...don't turn me into...Dan...'

'Goodbye Lucas. Good bye.'