A.N.Part of this chapter is rated 'light M' for flashbacks of Puck and Quinn when she was pregnant and living with him.Not suitable for younger readers, but very tame for adults. (I've made indications of where to skip the Quinn part in the middle.) This is another long chapter. Thanks so much for reviews, alerts, favorites, and sticking with this story!

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, or any songs, or any movies mentioned

…

November, Junior Year

"So, yeah, that's how I feel…" said Puck sheepishly as soon as Rachel had let him up for air after his performance for her. "I'm sorry I got so worked up and yelled at you," he mumbled.

"I accept your apology," said Rachel.

Puck was a little worried about this thing he had with Rachel Berry. He had managed to yell at her twice in one day, and he was still a little pissed at her because he felt that he wasn't the only one who should be apologizing. This girl could make him so angry sometimes.

"And…?" prompted Puck. Rachel's brows furrowed.

She seriously doesn't think she did anything wrong! Puck was staring at her, incredulous, but Rachel came up with an answer after a few seconds.

"Oh! I'm sorry too! I acted rashly! I didn't give your song a chance based on the title!" Rachel exclaimed in a rush. She smiled brightly, pleased that she found the answer.

"Anything else?" Puck pushed. Rachel's puzzled face reappeared.

This time she spoke slowly in measured tones. "Yes. I am sorry that I didn't account for the possibility that you would not appreciate my idea to invite the glee club to my house after Thanksgiving."

Puck nodded. "That's what I wanted to hear. Now, I think we'd better work something out before I decide if I can forgive you for that or not." He reached for her with a smirk.

"Wait just a minute! I still want to invite everyone over! And I wanted to talk to you about something important!"

Puck sighed loudly and flopped onto her bed. "Alright, go," he commanded, with a wave of his hand.

At this prompting, Rachel began the speech she had been preparing. Normally, Rachel might have pointed out that Puck was behaving like a lout (and a drama queen), but she was anxious to explain her idea.

"Noah, I have an idea I would like you to consider. I suggest that you and Quinn should visit baby Diana during Thanksgiving Break," Rachel paused, gauging Puck's reaction. He sat up a little in her bed, crossed his arms in front of him, and raised one eyebrow. It wasn't the look she'd been hoping for (the "Eureka! Rachel, you're a genius!" look), but it wasn't the "Are you out of your mind? You're dead to me" look she had feared. So she continued.

"I think it would be nice to start a family tradition in which you choose a holiday, like one that's about being thankful and being with family; for you and Quinn to visit Diana. That's why I'm suggesting Thanksgiving. You should make sure to take a picture, and you can each even write a note that commemorates the day, saying what you did that day and how much you love your daughter. When Diana is older, she can choose how much to know about her birth parents, and she will have these wonderful mementos to show her how truly loved she is." Rachel finished and sat next to Puck hesitantly.

"Ok…what does this have to do with inviting everyone to your house?" Puck was touched by Rachel's idea, but he was confused since this seemed to come out of nowhere.

"Oh, right. I forgot to include that part." Rachel stood back up, since that's how she had practiced delivering her speech.

"I like to be very organized and in control of every situation. I don't think that I should go with you on this visit, at least this first visit, so I want to give myself something to occupy my mind. Otherwise, I would go crazy thinking about what is happening and wishing I could be there. In addition, I think it would be a nice bonding experience for the rest of glee club. We always have leftovers, and this will be a practical way to get rid of all of that turkey and the starchy side dishes. Finally, I'm afraid that Quinn won't attend this group activity because she's been a bit distant from everyone, but if she plans to meet you at my house to go visit your daughter, then she'll probably come by and help promote team unity."

Actually, Quinn, Finn, and Noah had all been distant, but now was not the time to focus on this, Rachel told herself. Noah always seemed to tense up at the mention of Finn's name, so she made a point not to talk about Finn for now.

"I'm torn between impressed and terrified, Berry." He was half-joking, half-confessing. "You've really given this a lot thought, haven't you?" Puck asked softly. He was kind of amazed, but Rachel's intense thought process also made him nervous. Everything with her was so detailed.

"Well, in my unique situation, I've always wanted to know more about my mother. Maybe she wanted to be a star too. Maybe she needed a little money, so she donated her eggs. The arrangement was always meant to be closed, so I have no choice. I'd like to know more than what was on the application. But you… You have an open adoption, so you can give your daughter the choice to know you when she's older."

"What if they, uh, her parents, have plans?"

"Well, if we contact them soon enough, I imagine we can arrange it. She's their new baby, so they might not travel. Surely we can find a day for you to visit around the holiday, even if you have to skip school one day."

Oh yeah, missing school was fine by Puck. Rachel Berry was really smart.

A feeling of tenderness washed over Noah Puckerman. Maybe it was because he was thinking of his daughter. Maybe it was because Rachel was pouring her heart out and coming up with elaborate plans with him in mind. Maybe it was both. He pulled her into his arms.

"I think you just might be the best thing that ever happened to me, Rachel Berry."

"Really?! I think so too."

Puck laughed. "You think you're the best thing that ever happened to me?!"

Rachel paused, as though considering this question. "Maybe. But I meant that you're the best thing that ever happened to me."

Rachel didn't bother to qualify this statement. Obviously he wasn't always the best thing in her life, but it was certainly true now. She knew it was understood and best left unsaid.

…

They decided (Rachel decided and he agreed) that Puck had to ask Quinn if she wants to be included in the visit because clearly Rachel couldn't do so without jeopardizing their secret relationship. But Rachel offered to contact the adoptive parents to make the arrangements for the meeting. Puck approached Quinn before glee rehearsal.

"So, uh, I had this idea," started Puck. He fumbled his way through the idea, trying to remember exactly what Rachel had said to make it sound like the most obvious thing in the world. "…And, uh, we could take a picture, and write a letter to Dizzy and stuff." Wow, he didn't realize he would feel this awkward talking to Quinn, although it had been a while. Damn, she was beautiful, even with those sad eyes. He couldn't help thinking it because it was obvious. Not recognizing that she was beautiful would have been like not recognizing that Kurt is (flaming) gay. Obvious. He didn't think he was still in love with her, but his stomach was in knots and his palms were sweaty as he explained the plan to visit their daughter.

"And all this was your idea?" Quinn looked up at him skeptically, one eyebrow raised.

"Me and Oprah," he shrugged. "Think about it and let me know," Puck said as they walked into the music room. Quinn nodded and sat at the opposite end of the room from Puck.

It would be a beautiful idea if it didn't scare her so much. Quinn bit her lip as she imagined what it would be like to follow through with Puck's plan to visit Dizzy together. And to make this a regular event? Part of the reason Quinn had chosen adoption was so that she could get her life back to normal. She couldn't give her baby girl to crazy Mrs. Schuester—that woman was stalking Mr. Schue now! It was probably better that they had found a nice couple that lived in the next county so that Quinn didn't have to see Mr. Schue daily and know that he had her baby. Then she'd never be able to get over it. She felt so guilty all the time because she loved her baby, but sometimes she hated her existence. She was a bad person.

And what did this mean for Puck? Was he trying to get back together with her? She didn't really think so because he hadn't been giving her puppy-dog-eyes or really even paying any attention to her at all lately. But it was strange. He had seemed nervous around her, like a kid with a crush. But maybe it was just the idea of what they would be doing—visiting their daughter for the first time. Quinn had occasional flashes of regret for breaking up the little family she and Puck had created with little Diana Isabel.

Quinn remembered when the truth came out that Puck was the father. Puck had driven her to Finn's house to get her things…

… (Skip if you don't want to read a nearly-M-type scene of Quinn's flashback)…

Thankfully, Mrs. Hudson wasn't home, and Finn was somewhere blowing off steam. Probably with Rachel Berry. Quinn left her key to their house on the kitchen table with a note that read, "I'm sorry. I wanted you to be the father." She and Puck drove in silence to his house. Puck explained (mostly) everything to his mom, who was fairly understanding, but not happy that Quinn wasn't Jewish. Quinn moved into the guest room, and when they started turning the room into the nursery, she would often sneak into Puck's room at night. Eventually, her move to his bedroom became permanent. For some reason, she had become extremely attracted to him again. Even though she had only had sex once, she could tell that she was horny. The first time she brought it up to Puck and they tried to have sex, it was a little bit like the movie "Knocked Up", with Puck a bit freaked out about hurting the baby, and Quinn a bit uncomfortable with her body. But Puck's discomfort lasted about 30 seconds, and right away he was asking if they could do it without a condom since she was already pregnant.

"No! For two reasons," Quinn had told him. "One: STDs, hello! Two: I'm not comfortable with the idea of your semen swimming around our daughter."

Puck shuddered at the mental image. He agreed to the condom.

While they were having sex, Quinn knew that this was how it was meant to be. If she had sex with Finn like this, it would have been awkward because he was a virgin who had early arrival issues and she didn't know much either. But Puck…he knew how to be gentle and to make her enjoy it. And he looked at her like she was the most beautiful girl in the world. Even with her pregnant belly and her enlarged breasts. Actually, he had become fascinated by her boobs as she writhed on top of him and it seemed he couldn't get enough of them. She was fascinated by his body too—he really was gorgeous, like a Greek statue. Finn was beautiful and sweet, but Puck…he was magnetic! Wow, she hadn't thought about this for a long time, but maybe she missed the way Puck could make her feel.

Quinn could tell she was blushing in the middle of glee, and she hoped nobody noticed. Not that they could read her mind or anything. She continued going through the motions of rehearsing "Times Like These" with the simple choreography they were learning, but her mind drifted back to the months she had lived with Puck.

She never could bring herself to call him "Noah". It was always "Puck". She had tried out "Noah" once, during sex, but she couldn't keep it up. It didn't feel right, even if that was his name. "Noah" was too sweet, responsible, and trying so hard to be a good man at 16. She needed him to be "Puck", the (sexy) bastard who knocked her up and sent "sexts" to hot girls. After Quinn had moved in, Puck had agreed to end the sexting to prove he could be with her. It helped that she was finally in the stage of her pregnancy that made her horny, so she was willing (more than willing, eager) to have sex with him on a fairly regular basis. It was during this period that Quinn seriously entertained the idea that the three of them could be a family. Puck's mom was warming up to her and his sister seemed to like her (she told Puck that Quinn was the most beautiful girl she'd ever seen, even with her big belly, and the thought of that amused and warmed Quinn's heart). She could see herself settling into this family with Puck.

But there were so many things about Puck that annoyed her, and it got worse after Diana Isabel was born. Puck could still be pretty immature—he liked comic books and collected weapons like those stupid nunchucks. He chewed tobacco and smoked (annoying, gross, and expensive habits), although he started trying to quit for the baby. The worst was that Puck was content to drop out of school to work full time to support them. It would seem like this demonstration of responsibility should be a good thing, but it wasn't to Quinn.

Quinn had a romantic fantasy about what her life would be like. She would marry Finn eventually if he could prove to be worthy, but if not, they would have a friendly break up and she would meet the love of her life in college. He would go on to be a lawyer, a doctor, a businessman—something respectable that would make a comfortable living. And Quinn was smart, she would have a good job too, though she wasn't sure yet what she wanted to be. But one thing she knew. She did not want to marry a Lima loser who had no ambition. Puck had professed his desire to provide for her and drop out of school, and Quinn knew that their family could not last.

Yes, she knew she was shallow, but she couldn't help it. She wanted to have nice things. She wanted to be able to provide nice things for her daughter. She and Puck couldn't afford to keep Dizzy unless he dropped out of school before the fall semester to work full time and she took the semester off of school to take care of their baby until they could save up enough money to enroll her in daycare. It would have been different if her parents hadn't disowned her, but they had to deal with the reality of their situation.

The realization had been hard for her, but it seemed worse for Puck. Quinn had tried to reason with him, that Dizzy would be taken care of by adult parents better than they could care for her.

Really, Quinn didn't trust herself. Quinn would be bursting with love one minute for her little girl, and then the next minute she'd be changing a dirty diaper and mentally cursing herself and her little baby (!) for this life-ruining mistake. And that made her hate herself and fear for how she could be a good mother when part of her resented the existence of her own baby.

"But I love her," Puck had declared the first time Quinn seriously mentioned adoption. "And I love you!"

"Puck," Quinn had said compassionately but firmly. "You may love me, and I love you, but we're not in love."

Puck let out a sharp laugh. "You're the mother of my child. I think you're beautiful even when you're the size of a walrus, so yeah, I think I'm in love with you!"

Quinn didn't dignify the walrus remark. It was kind of sweet in a Puck way. But she had to say something important.

"Puck, I'm not in love with you." Her eyes were filled with tears. It was the truth—she wasn't in love with him. She was too shallow, and he didn't fit her perfect mold. She hated herself for not being completely in love with this beautiful boy who was trying his best. She hated herself for resenting her own baby. It would have been easier if she had fallen head over heels in love with them both. Puck had stormed out for awhile, but later when he came back, they talked about the adoption option. Quinn had been thinking of adoption for awhile, but she kept changing her mind. She kept coming back to the adoption idea even after it was clear that Mrs. Schuester was not fit to be a parent because she knew she could find the right people, and she and Puck were not going to be able to be good parents in high school. Dizzy was a beautiful baby (and that wasn't just a mother's point of view, it was a fact. How could she not be beautiful, given her parents?). So Quinn knew it would be easy for adoptive parents to love her (because most people are shallow too, it's biological).

Puck had convinced her to give it through the summer to see if they could do this together. Not everyone had to be in love to have a family. They could be non-traditional or whatever, Puck had told her. But finally towards the end of the summer, Quinn had convinced Puck that adoption was the best choice for everyone.

… (End Quinn's flashback with near-M-rating)…

Did she regret that choice? No. Well, sometimes. But only when she was feeling lonely. She missed Puck, she missed Dizzy, and she missed Finn. She was trying to get back into a semblance of normal. Puck's suggestion that they visit Dizzy filled her with hope and trepidation. She realized though, she could never be normal now. So she made up her mind to tell Puck that she would join him on the visit with their little girl.

After glee, Rachel announced that everyone would receive e-vites to come to her house the day after Thanksgiving. "It will be a great bonding experience for all of the members. We'll have leftovers and hang out and watch movies and things. It will be very casual. If you plan to go shopping for the early morning holiday sales, feel free to stop by my house later. I hope you all will at least stop by at some point." She gave a bright smile and left the room.

Puck approached Quinn. "Hey, I could pick you up so we could go to Rachel's together. Then we can leave to go visit Dizzy. Are you in?"

"Oh, you're actually going to that?" Quinn was surprised. "I didn't take you for the group bonding type."

"What did you take me for?" Puck smirked.

"It's nothing." Quinn glanced at him uncomfortably and then composed herself. "Sure, I'll go with you to Rachel's and we can leave from there on Friday. It's a nice idea, Puck." Quinn smiled at him, and then quickly walked away shaking her head. She did not know what to make of that boy.

…

Rachel had a lovely Thanksgiving holiday with her dads and some friends of the family. She had desperately wanted to invite Noah, but it's not like he was her boyfriend. She assumed that he would be spending the day with his family anyway. She called him that night to talk about their plans for the next day. She made him promise to come see her after he visited Dizzy to tell her all about it. He agreed immediately and suggested that they spend as much time together as possible on Saturday and Sunday. He suspected he would need some of Rachel's special attention after the emotional event planned for Friday.

Friday morning Rachel was awake early to prepare for the big occasion. The Berry house was already clean, but she wanted everything to be perfect. Her dads had left. They even agreed to stay out extra long to do some shopping for Hanukkah and Christmas (they celebrated both, and Rachel was spoiled with gifts every year). After Rachel finished straightening up the house and arranging seating for optimum socializing among the glee members, she bounded upstairs to change into her ensemble. She'd be entertaining in the house, so she didn't dress for the cold November weather. She looked over her fitted blouse, short but tasteful skirt, and completed the outfit with her warm slipper-socks that pulled up to her knees. Casual but cute, she thought. She heard the doorbell rang, and she felt a wave a mild panic. She hadn't expected anyone so soon. And she wasn't exactly confident that her idea would go over very well. Rachel bounded back downstairs to answer the door.

"You're early!" cried Rachel. She didn't do a good job of hiding her frown at the sight of Noah with Quinn at her door. Sure, it was her idea, but she wasn't mentally prepared to see it yet.

"Nice greeting, Berry," smirked Puck.

"I hope that's ok," Quinn said as she pushed past Puck. "We're leaving early."

"Of course, please come in," smiled Rachel politely as she opened the door wider. "You're the first to arrive. Do you want something to drink while you wait? I'm still reheating the leftovers."

Puck and Quinn nodded and followed Rachel to the kitchen as she listed the beverage choices. "Well, I'm driving later, so beer's out," said Puck.

Rachel gaped at him. "Of course I wouldn't offer you beer, Noah Puckerman! We're all minors!"

"Relax, Berry. I was just joking." Rachel's face reddened.

"Don't mind him," Quinn said, as she put a hand on Puck's arm. "That's typical Puck behavior," she said with a knowing smile. Rachel's face reddened even more, but she hoped Quinn didn't notice. What was this feeling? Jealousy? Possessiveness? Rachel didn't like what she felt as she watched Puck and Quinn interact with such ease and familiarity. She wanted to tell Quinn that she knew Noah's behavior very well. But she managed to restrain herself.

"So, water for both of you then?" She heard a "sure" from Puck and a polite "yes, thank you" from Quinn, but she kept her back to them as she busied herself with glasses, ice, and water.

"Do you know when Finn and the rest of the guys will be here?" asked Quinn nonchalantly, but Rachel and Puck saw through her act. "I already talked to Brit and Santana, so I know they'll be here soon," Quinn said in her attempt to explain her question. Rachel was relieved to detect Quinn's interest in Finn. Puck wasn't sure what he was feeling.

"No, I don't know. But Finn said he'd be late." (Rachel added silently, because he's coming after I call to tell him you've left.) "Feel free to have some snacks while we wait for the others to arrive." Rachel gestured to several trays of food.

They only had a few minutes of awkward quiet and snacking while Rachel finished reheating the leftovers before the doorbell rang. Puck thanked God for the diversion, glancing between the girl he arrived with and the girl he was with secretly. Rachel took a deep breath and hoped that inviting everyone to her house was not a huge mistake.

Once everyone arrived, except for Finn, Rachel announced that they could move from the snacks to the main course. With more people to entertain, Rachel's mind had turned from watching Puck and Quinn to tending to her guests, and she was grateful for the distraction. Everyone seemed to be clustering into their typical groups, so Rachel also made a point to try to include the new sophomores who had recently joined New Directions. She had some icebreaker games and things she was planning to introduce after the meal, and she had some choices for movies to watch as well. While they ate, the guys were watching sports, and the girls were chatting. Rachel noticed the time and knew that Noah and Quinn had better be leaving soon. As if on cue, Puck stood up and took his plate and Quinn's into the kitchen. Quinn started saying her goodbyes, she thanked Rachel, and stepped outside to discretely wait for Puck. Rachel then went to the kitchen to check on Noah and say goodbye.

"Thanks, Rach," he said quietly. "I'll talk to you soon." She smiled and nodded, but knowing that someone could enter the kitchen at any moment, she didn't make a move towards him. He nodded too and returned to the living/dining area, where he made an announcement to the group that he had to leave.

Rachel peered through the gauzy window sheers as Noah left her house. He helped Quinn into his truck. Rachel swallowed hard. It didn't help that they were both dressed up for their visit, and they made a beautiful couple.

What was I thinking? I'm deliberately driving him into Quinn's arms!

The trouble is…she had wanted to test him in a way. There was nothing wrong with multi-tasking, right? Rachel had put into motion her multi-level plan that 1) brought Noah some peace regarding his daughter; 2) brought Quinn some peace regarding her decision; 3) brought the glee club together for some much-needed bonding to ease tensions between Finn, Puck, and Quinn and hopefully lead to successful competitions; and 4) brought Noah and Quinn together so that Rachel could find out if they were in love with each other.

She didn't delude herself into thinking that she was attempting to be a matchmaker for Noah and Quinn or that she would be happy if they did fall in love as a result of her plan. Rachel wanted to judge how he would act around Quinn to determine if there was any hope for her. Then she would know if she would let herself keep up this business with Noah or if she would cut it off before she got herself too hurt. Rachel was afraid that she was letting herself fall in love with Noah Puckerman. Surely their physical relationship brought this out in her because she recognized that she wasn't behaving like a platonic friend. She should just ignore her fears and enjoy what they have. She and Noah really were friends (secretly), and it seemed to Rachel that they were both very much enjoying all aspects of their relationship.

Why do I have to push things? Rachel thought. She should have been happy that her ambitious plan was working. At least she would have some evidence of where she stood with Noah compared to Quinn. The only part of her plan that hadn't started working yet was the part regarding Finn.

As she watched Noah and Quinn drive away, Rachel reached for her phone absently and hit her speed dial number for Finn.

"They're gone."

…

A.N.A little uncertainty for the end of this one… I threw in some Quinn (inspired by reviews) to explain a little more about what happened between Puck and Quinn in my little universe. I hope I didn't throw you for a loop. I'm trying to play with multiple points of view. If you like it or if you don't, please leave a comment to let me know! If you like it, I'll probably do a little bit from Finn again soon, and I'll revisit Kurt. Disclaimer: The "you're dead to me look" was inspired by How I Met Your Mother, which I also don't own.