Hope you guys like this chapter! :) it was really fun to write and the longest chapter so far!
Captain Cassian Andor. A lethal fighter for the rebellion, a stoic and fearless leader who has dove into countless battles without fear. A captain of the courageous rebel alliance fighting to save the galaxy from imperial tyranny... was pissing his pants with the thought on taking Jyn out on a date.
He already had a plan. He decided he wouldn't admit his feelings but test out the waters.
They'd just be friends for tonight.
He wore a simple rebel jacket. It was a dark brow leather jacket with his captain insignia on it. He wore grey pants and a button up white shirt. His hair was combed out of his face. His look at the moment was the nicest it has ever been in years.
The last time he looked this nice was when he had to fake a relationship with Princess Leia many years ago to attend a banquet with imperial spies... but that's another story.
He grabbed the flowers he found earlier that day. He tried his best to tie them together but failed multiple times. He resorted to asking Leia for help.
He made his way down the hallway to Jyn's door. He stood there for a moment, rehearsing lines and ways to say hi, how to hand his flowers, how he should smile.
"Hello miss I'm looking for a beautiful lady named Jyn Eros" pulls out flowers from back and gives a sly smile
"No that's too romantic and obvious" he thought
"Hello Jyn you look lovely this evening" then hand flowers and hug her
"Hmm maybe not"
He couldn't decide how to go about this. He was mentally slapping himself.
"Cassian what are you doing. This isn't a battle where you have to plan things out beforehand. Why the hell are you so nervous!?"
Mentally bantering with himself he didn't notice Jyn open the door until he heard a light chuckle from her.
He shot his eyes up ruining the many different approaches he had been practicing.
" hi Jyn" He managed to say but it came out of his mouth a little faster than it should have. He handed her the flowers and took her hand quickly and dragged her out like a child. He wanted to get out of the base as quickly as possible if anyone saw that display.
(Chirrut, Baze, and Bodhi were of course watching from the distance. Quietly laughing)
"Ok that wasn't too bad" Cassian thought
He led her outside the base still holding her hand. They didn't talk during their walk and Jyn didn't mind. She felt at peace and she was happy she wasn't avoiding him anymore.
Cassian, well he was the opposite, which was strange. He's never felt this way before and he'd expect Jyn to be the more nervous one during all of this. His heart was racing.
He planned out that they would just sit there and talk, but could that be misinterpreted?
The moon was full, he had flowers, it was night at the lake, it seemed romantic to him.
But he wasn't ready yet to admit everything. He decided he'd only admit some of it.. enough of it. Maybe enough so she'd be the brave one.
JYN POV
He never let go of her hand until they sat down on the cool grass in front of the lake. It was chilly but comfortable. The breeze moved her bangs and brushed her face. The grass was slightly damp but not to the point that her clothes would get wet.
The moonlight glistened on the waters surface. They sat there, fingers weaved together while Jyn's other hand held the flowers she received from Cassian.
Cassian was the first to break the silence
"So Jyn, how has your week been? I haven't talked to you in a while before yesterday"
Duh I was slightly avoiding you, Jyn thought
"It was alright. I mostly stayed in bed and walked around outside. I made some new friends including Princess Leia. She's sweet. How about you?"
"Same old same old. Did some tech maintained with Bodhi and helps Mon Mothma with strategies on how we proceed after our first victory. I also made some friends. You should talk to Luke one day. I like him and Chirrut does too, especially"
The small talk was distracting Cassian from what he set out to do... he pushed on before Jyn could answer
"Jyn I have to tell you something"
Was this it? Was he going to confess his feelings to her ?! Is what Chirrut said really true?! Jyn was so excited she felt like a little girl again.
She stared at Cassian. His face is calm and collected with the waters reflection of light visible in his dark, brown eyes.
He stared straight at Jyn, eyebrows furrowed and strong. She felt his stares melt through her
"Jyn you know you're very special to me. You're someone who I can't imagine life without. Ever since Scarif... even just the day I met you I knew you'd become someone I really cared about. You're kind, funny, strong, and ever so unpredictable and" Cassian gulped " I want us to grow in our friendship. I want us to always be together."
"This is it. I'm not ready for this." Jyn prepared herself. She was scared but far too excited to feel it.
"Jyn... I think... you know what... umm You're ... you're like my sister"
...
"Wait... what the hell" Jyn thought, that's not nearly even close to where she thought he was going with that. Everything he said before the sister part was perfect. Getting friend zoned was one thing, but getting sister zoned was unheard of. Jyn slowly pulled her fingers away from Cassian's and focused on the water. Jyn noticed Cassian's concern for her lack of response.
"Jyn are you ok? Did what I say bother you?" Cassian asked.
Heck yes it did, idiot, but she only replied "no, no it didn't. I care about you too Cassian. A lot. And I really want us to get closer"
She could never call him her brother.
Jyn kept a straight face. Hiding her true emotions was something she did naturally, too naturally it was sometimes bad. She kept a steady face and laced her fingers once again with his, forcing a smile to plaster her lips.
"Oh Good, I'm glad." Cassian turned to look at Jyn but she seemed unbothered by his remark. He was hoping she'd protest or interject, but she didn't.
She looked happy with his words to much of his surprise.
It sounds weird but he wanted Jyn to get mad or upset. He wanted her to react so he knew she wasn't happy with just being friends. But she didn't. He wanted her to make the decision to start something if she got angry.
Cassian mentally slapped himself.
"Jeez why do you have to put it all on her?"
The rest of the night was quite awkward. They sat there in silence and walked back to the base, this time their hands were far apart.
Both carried an aura of disappointment and pain but with their well trained expressions, they seemed fine on the exterior. Years of hiding emotions and pain trained them too well for this moment.
They made it to Jyn's room when Cassian hugged her goodbye. It wasn't really a hug though, it was one of those side hugs you give to friends.
Jyn entered her room thanking Cassian for the flowers.
She immediately closed the door and allowed the bottled up feelings she hid the entire night after Cassian's confession to pour out without restrain.
She slid down against the door holding her knees against her chest. She has never felt this type of pain and sadness before. To feel this type of love and be limited was something she never experienced before and she didn't like it.
She allowed herself to cry. Tears would not stop as they poured out of her eyes onto her jacket and pants.
"Why did I have to fall in love?" Jyn asked herself. "It only ever hurts me" She cried herself to sleep that night still leaning against the door.
CAS POV
Cassian stood once again infront of Jyn's door. His head was bowed down, his body slumped, and his hands dangled near his side.
"You coward, you idiot" was all he could think in his head.
"You should've just told her. Now you've put yourself in this platonic love loop that you won't be able to get out of since she seemed fine with what you said "
Cassian hated himself for doing it but it's all he's done his entire life. Avoiding relationships and love made life safer. It made being a captain of the rebellion easier, distractions are costly. Love is weakness. Friends can bring defeat. But he's been so trained to live like this, he forgot he could stop being like this. It was second nature for him he didn't know how to stop.l, how to build something with people. They destroyed the Death Star. He could afford to be happy for once.
But his rebel mentally prevented him from doing so.
He slid down against the wall opposite from Jyn's room. A similar motion she did against her door.
He sighed looking down to the floor.
Out of nowhere Chirrut appeared which didn't surprise Cassian.
"Of course you're here. You're always here when stuff like this happens. For a blind guy you're really good with seeing when things go south you know that?" Cassian's spirits were slightly lifted upon his friend's arrival he managed to smile ever so slightly.
Chirrut sat next to Cassian Preparing for the most epic, eye opening smack down talk Captain Cassian Andor would ever receive about love