Chapter 6

The Distant Hearted

Tahiri who had heard every word, was slowly becoming uneasy. Her eyes went wide at the mention Anakin collapsing. She wasn't sure what was going on with him but it didn't sound like a simple issue. She wondered if it even had anything to do with her fight with him the other day. Though in the back of her mind she knew it didn't.

Right now what was killing her was waiting to hear back from Cilghal who had taken Anakin into the med center of the base. Tahiri paced the hallway outside. Kirk came down the hallway, and as he saw her came over.

"Tahiri, I'm sure Anakin will be fine. You should get some sleep." Kirk suggested.

She shook her head. "I can't." She glanced at the door to the med center again and then sat down slumped against the wall. Kirk took a seat next to her.

"It's not easy having a high maintenance best friend, huh?" He asked. She nodded weakly.

"But I'm not good enough to be his best friend." She said, not looking up. Kirk tried to get a better look at her face.

"Of course you are." He said. "You've been up since 4 AM waiting for him to come out, worrying yourself over him. I'll tell you something, Tahiri." He paused as he looked up a the ceiling. "Not many friends will wait. Because waiting is the hardest part." He put a hand on her head and gently brushed hair from her already wet face.

She sighed and Kirk put his arm around her shoulders. "It's going to be okay, Tahiri, I promise." Cilghal came out and saw Kirk with Tahiri. She came over, reassuring Kirk that she would take over from there.

"Thank you, Kirk." Cilghal said as she walked Tahiri back to their room.

He waved his hand in dismissal as he made his way back to his room. "It's what I'm here for."

As Cilghal sat on Tahiri's bed, where she was blinking to keep herself awake, "Anakin will be fine. He didn't eat earlier so that's probably why he collapsed."

Tahiri rubbed her eyes and then looked at Cilghal, "I have this feeling about Kirk. He reminds me of something." Tahiri said. Cilghal watched Tahiri carefully.

"Of what?"

"A father."

Cilghal paused and thought about it. "Well, he's always wanted to be one. But he never got the chance."

Tahiri's eyes went wide with curiosity. "Why?"

Cilghal shrugged. "I'm not sure. I think only Master Skywalker really knows. But it's really Kirk's past to talk about." She gave Tahiri a knowing look, "Just as Anakin has his own past to talk about. We all do." She got up and went to her own bed. "Get some sleep, Tahiri."

Tahiri lay in bed for a while before actually falling asleep. Just what had happened to Kirk in the past? Why if he wanted a child so badly did he not marry someone and have a child? She was sure he had loved someone at one point, he seemed like such a caring person. Not unlike her adoptive parents. They adopted her, couldn't Kirk do the same? She knew it really wasn't any of her business but it bothered her that someone so caring and obviously loving wasn't able to be the father he wanted to be. The way he treated all of them was very father-like in the way he just knew how to be the strong rock that Tahiri needed to lean on a while ago. Parents were just that: the rocks backing their children through anything they went through. They were the overbearing protection and worry that dogged you day and night. But in the end they were the real reason you could get through each day.

That was what Kirk's presence emanated. She had no doubt that he was pretty tired but like a parent who was ready to wake up at any moment to see what was wrong with his kids, Kirk was awake, a light sleeper. No, it wasn't a coincidence. Kirk was meant to be a father, and yet he was alone. Tahiri felt her sympathy go out to Kirk. Whatever had happened must have hurt him badly. Not all Jedi are lucky, She thought.

Tahiri bit her lip. More than anything she felt Anakin shutting himself off from her again. It was unbelievable that he would try to do something like that again, after the conversation they had on Tatooine. Also it was a simple thing to just tell her what was on his mind. It might be hard because he was afraid of worrying her, but Tahiri wasn't weak. She could handle anything Anakin had to tell her. No matter what he said, she would be his friend no matter what. Even if in the end Anakin wasn't able to let go of his past, she'd help him through it.

If he'd just open up, Tahiri sighed. Anakin's ability to isolate himself was impressive. No one knew better how to hide away his emotions and avoid telling people anything. Tahiri had forced Anakin when they'd met to tell her more about himself. Although that only worked because she'd approached him about the subject in the morning when Anakin was willing to do anything to get her to stop asking. Truthfully, Tahiri felt somewhat guilty for having forced Anakin to tell her about his life. Then he just started talking a little more about his life over time. Or she just knew because they were never apart.

In the end her forcing Anakin to say what was on his mind was a positive thing. Otherwise he'd have spent his entire life never having talked about himself. Though it was a good quality to be selfless, Anakin was someone who needed to talk about his thoughts or he'd grew too distant to even have small talk. Which, Tahiri thought with a smirk, Anakin is absolutely terrible at.

She'd force him to talk in the morning. That was end of it. Tahiri's eyes drooped and she finally fell asleep.

Tahiri mumbled in her sleep and rolled over to try to block out the sounds that were now coming from outside the door. She'd only been asleep for an hour or so when she heard Kirk's loud voice bellowing down the hallway. She rubbed her eyes and opened her door to see what was going on.

"Who was watching?" Kirk was demanding of Eroth, who held his hands up in surrender.

"I'm sorry, Master Jedi, we don't know what happened."

"Then you'd damn well better figure it out!" Kirk snapped back. Tahiri came over, still trying to get the sleep from her eyes.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing, Tahiri." Cilghal said, smiling. "Go back to bed." She turned to Kirk, "Stop yelling, Kirk. It's not going to fix anything."

"Fuck fixing anything! Do you realize it's below zero outside and Anakin's out there?!" He screamed and then rounded back on Eroth. "We're sending a search party out this minute."

"But in this cold we can't risk-"

"You'll risk what you have to!" Kirk then went into his room and grabbed his coat, goggles and hat. When he came back, Cilghal was looking around.

"What's the matter, Cilghal?" Kirk's tone was more softened when he saw her worried face.

"I haven't seen Tahiri, she was just here, wasn't she?"

Kirk's face grew pale as realization dawned on him. "I know where she is." He took off down the hall at top speed, getting to the front door of the base, only to find it was opened and the cold wind was blowing in.

The guard stammered, "I'm sorry, she snuck by while I was changing shifts."

Kirk watched the storm outside build up and the snow whipped with gusts of wind strong enough to pick out a landspeeder and send it flying. Kirk's face creased with pain then he turned around.

"Close the door. We'll have to wait until the storm settles. No one can go out there right now." He went back down the hall. The door clanged shut on a silent base. With two JedI missing and the possibility of the storm going on through the day and into the night, a shadow hung over the shoulders of the Sytars and the Jedi caretakers.

Tahiri trudged through the snow, the wind whipped the hair that wasn't tucked under her fur hat, behind her head. She pushed her goggles further up her nose and used her binoculars to scan the area around her. But at the moment nothing looked particularly distinct. The snow grew thicker and soon Tahiri could feel the cold air under her jacket.

She went onwards, there was no way she was going to give up on finding Anakin. At least not until she gave him the lecture of a lifetime for running off for the second time. Tahiri briefly wondered if he had a death wish. Though she doubted it, she planned to ask Anakin when she found him.

Ten minutes became fifteen minutes and Tahiri had still not managed to find Anakin. She was also beginning to feel lightheaded. It was impossible to see through the blizzard around her and her breath was now a heavy mist. Her legs were getting numb and she was sure they might have frostbite if she kept going. Tahiri looked through her binoculars again and reached out with the force. Still nothing.

Tahiri coughed and stumbled over a mound of snow. Her head now hurt, it seemed like every minute was an hour. Tahiri blinked and pushed herself up just as a strong force knocked her down again.

Her eyes could only see white as something grabbed her leg and lifted her into the air. Tahiri turned her head slightly to see what had a hold on her and saw a white furry beast with razor sharp teeth eyeing her in its grasp, it let out a low growl. Tahiri's mind went blank. A wampa.

Luke Skywalker reached out into the force. His discussion with the Sytars had left him with many unanswered questions. Now he knew what many of his students felt when a teacher did something that they couldn't quite grasp themselves. He sighed.

"Having trouble with your work, Master Skywalker?"

Luke looked at the windowsill where a furry creature was lying down enjoying the sun warming its fur.

"I'm having trouble figuring out who these Sytars are." He rubbed his temples.

"Mmm, they are a curious group of creatures. But I sense nothing wrong with them."

"That's what I don't understand. How can they be so adept in the force when I can't sense any force beyond that of a normal person? They're not Jedi."

"They are also not from our galaxy." Ikrit pointed out, flicking his tail. He preoccupied himself with licking his paws.

"Yes, but I don't understand how one can be adept with the force and not be felt in the same way as a Jedi."

"None of the others were adept. Perhaps it is only Synthor who is adept." Ikrit sat up and leaped onto the floor then onto the desk where Luke was sitting with his head in his hands.

"Your stress is as visible as this desk, Master Skywalker."

Luke sighed and nodded. "I should be more careful to not let that happen."

"How could it not? We all must stress a little to get the results we want."

Luke chuckled. Sometimes Ikrit could seem wiser than any Jedi Master Luke knew, including himself. "Do you want to take over the Academy?" He joked. But to his surprise the answer he received was more serious.

Ikrit flicked his tail again and jumped onto the windowsill. "Someday someone will take over. It is only a matter of time." Then the furry Jedi Master was gone and Luke still didn't have the answers he was looking for.