Chapter Six

Jasper

I had no idea what to do, should I go back to Forks and speak to Bella now she was no longer involved with Edward? Was the breakup because of the night she had spent with me? That was a hugely egotistically thought on my part. Maybe she had decided she no longer wanted to be involved with vampires at all and who could blame her. Perhaps our night together had shown her that Edward was not right for her. She hadn't asked me not to go when I told her I was leaving but why should she? Edward was a far better fit for her than I could ever have been.

I decided to stay here with Peter and Charlotte, I was among friends and I still hoped that maybe Charlotte would be able to make sense of what had happened with Bella. Being around horses helped to ease my tension and I managed to forget about her for a few minutes while I was riding but she always came back. If I were human I would have gone straight back to Forks and confront her now I knew she was alone but I wasn't human, I was a vampire, one of the worst kind and she deserved so much more. I had put my own history where it belonged, at the back of my mind but I couldn't expunge what I'd done and to bring such bloodshed and horror into Bella's life was just wrong. I had been wrong to sleep with Bella, with my brother's girlfriend and now I would live with the consequences, it was my problem, my sin, not hers, and I hoped she didn't still feel guilty about it if she thought about me at all.

Bella

I struggled through the next week at school glad to have a short week with Thanksgiving coming up. A nagging headache stayed with me despite taking some Tylenol but worse than that was the weariness. The strange dream continued to haunt my sleeping hours and I would wake up exhausted as if I hadn't slept at all. It was driving me crazy and I looked it up on the internet, dream interpretations. There was a lot to wade through but I wrote down anything that was repeated on several different websites and ended up with a rather confused list.

"To see yourself floating on water in your dream is a sign that you are trying to accomplish something which is proving to be difficult.

Dreaming of floating in the sea indicates that you need to face your fear

The Moon is a sign of romance and intuitions arising from the unconscious;

If you dream of the moon being another colour, especially a red moon, this symbolizes disappointments in love.

A red moon symbolizes troubles beyond one's control or voyages, pilgrimages."

Needless to say, I was more confused than before I started! I was supposedly trying to achieve something difficult that was frightening me while at the same time had something to do with romance which was trouble beyond my control and would be connected with a journey! Now I knew why I usually avoided dream dictionaries.

I was supposed to help at a drop in coffee evening at the station but Charlie took one look at my drooping eyelids and told me to stay home. He had plenty of other help and I had been baking so he had trays of cakes and cookies which in truth was what he really needed. I hadn't been looking forward to listening to the good people of Forks bitching about youngsters cycling on the sidewalk or playing baseball in the street and dog mess not being picked up! It was the same few topics every year.

I looked around, the kitchen was a mess but I really didn't have the energy to do more than load the dishwasher and put away the ingredients I had used. The counter tops would have to wait for tomorrow to be scrubbed. I couldn't even bother making coffee, instead, I grabbed a couple of cold pop tarts and a glass of milk and collapsed onto the couch. I ate one of the pop tarts and drained the milk before dragging myself upstairs to take a quick shower.

I washed my hair and wrapped it in a towel before cleaning my teeth then looked at myself in the mirror and groaned, I was beginning to resemble a panda with dark circles around my eyes. I looked like Edward when he was thirsty. No, I wouldn't think about him, it was a bad idea. Thinking about Edward led to thoughts of Jasper and that only led to the strange dreams I kept having. Of course, once I thought of the two of them I couldn't stop and that meant I would be dreaming again tonight so I picked up a book for something to concentrate on instead.

Charlie woke me when he came in, I had fallen asleep sitting on the bed and my book had fallen cover up on the floor. He didn't call out goodnight thinking I was asleep and I didn't bother to enlighten him, I didn't feel like talking and I knew he would come in, sit on the edge of my bed and tell me all about his evening, every detail would be covered and I was too tired to listen and make the appropriate responses.

I woke up again in the middle of the night feeling that I wasn't alone, the feeling I had experienced when Edward used to climb in the window when Charlie had gone to sleep. I looked around but my room was empty, moonlight flooding through the window illuminated every corner yet I still felt a presence close to me, it was eerie.

I overslept the next morning and by the time I came down for breakfast Charlie was getting ready to go fishing with Harry. He grinned at me,

"Don;t worry about dinner Bell's, Sue invited us to eat with them."

"Not me dad, I'm still not feeling too good, apologize for me will you."

"Sure, but if you're still feeling ill next week you'd better call the clinic. Seth went down with Mono, maybe you've got the same thing, it's not like you to be so tired."

I nodded,

"I will."

When he had gone I poured coffee that he had made earlier and zapped it in the microwave making some toast before sitting at the table and opening the weekend paper. I don't remember anything I read and only drank half my coffee then went up to get dressed. As I wriggled into my pants I noticed they were tight around the waist, Charlie had done the laundry last time and must have put it in at too high a temperature, looks like I might have to buy myself a new pair!

Opening the refrigerator I glanced at the shelves trying to find something that tempted me for lunch but then closed it again without finding anything except another glass of milk. This was ridiculous I had to eat! As I continued to flick through the paper a photograph caught my eye. A heavily pregnant pop star beamed out at me and suddenly I felt as if someone had tipped a bucket of icy water over my head. I was late but I'd put it down to being ill, my pants were getting tight and I felt nauseous when I saw food. Surely I couldn't be…...could I?

Oh God! Was I pregnant? If I was then the baby had to be Jasper's, I hadn't slept with anyone else and that, in turn, meant it was part vampire. No, I couldn't be, not after a single one night stand with a vampire surely but if I was…..if it was true then what the hell was I going to do? I had no idea where Jasper was, I had no idea where any of the Cullens were and I couldn't go to a human doctor, the baby would be seen as a freak, it might die. Besides I had no idea if a vampire pregnancy would go the same way as a human one or what I might need to do. Suddenly I was very, very, afraid.