Dib chan adventures 6
I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!
...III...
ANNOUNCEMENT!
I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!
SUMMARY:
On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!
The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.
...III...
Jade smiled as she picked up the talismans from the box Captain Black gave to her, "Hello old girls...you miss me?" The moment was ruined as she got a call from school regarding Dib being...'indecent'...again...
Jade groaned, "I'm almost glad the worlds in trouble again...it's far more straightforward a problem to solve then raising a kid."
...
Tak smiled with anticipation, it had been many years. But soon she would have her revenge! Soon she would enter this primitive planet's atmosphere- they hadn't even colonized their moon yet, how adorably quaint -and then she'd begin her conquest.
First, she'd subvert control of some manner of 'mega-corp, small country country, or similar establishment' with enough resources to facilitate her needs. Second, she'd assume a human identity(preferably as the 'daughter' of said 'Mega-corp or etc.), third she'd find Zim, make him hurt, make him suffer a bit, wreck his base and steal his mission, and become the invader she was destined to-
BOOM!
"Got it." Said the officer on the hidden lunar base that had just shot down the unidentified object.
In fairness to Tak, the concept of 'pretending to be a primitive world to trick would-be invaders to underestimate their adversaries' was a rather unorthodox concept that most people wouldn't grasp until it was too late...which was kinda the whole point if you stopped and think about it...
...
Gaz tinkered at the cafeteria table with stuff from her dads old lab, although at first her mom tried to wean her off her video game 'addiction' by pointing out there was no future in it...showing her how much money you could make as a videogame designer, tester, making playthrough's online, or at the now more then common videogame competitions...well at first it caused Mom to sulk for a bit as apparently Great Uncle Jackie had 'conveniently' left out that part when he constantly stopped her playing videogames in her youth.
...eventually they came to a compromise, she could continue playing the same amount of videogames(within reason), but she at least needed to find a secondary hobby to fall back on.
She was currently just randomly tinkering with her dad's junk, finding something that was 'her', she'd used her lunch break to come down to Dib's school and get his advice on how to work this strange device she'd found rummaging through the old labs.
She was almost certain that the machine was used to make bread dough...but she just wasn't sure HOW. In any case some kind of commotion seems to have drawn people to the gymnasium, so she could at least enjoy the quiet until she found Dib-
"Hey! You! Small breasted human she-male!"
-Or not.
Gaz growled...but smiled, fortunately her mom had given her permission to do whatever she had to to 'discipline' Zim.
A very injured Zim hobbled over to her, "Small breasted human she-male! I demand you-
ZAP!
And just like that, Zim was now a wad of bread dough, "Gah! What is this!? What have you done to Zim?! I think I've pulled a muscle!...or fifty!"
Gaz smirks, "Oh, have you? I'm sorry to hear that, let me help flatten your back a bit-
SMACK!
GAH!
Screamed Zim as Gaz smacked him with a rolling pin until he was nice and flat.
Gaz then greases him with butter, puts him into a pan, and then puts him in the oven.
Gaz smiles happily as Zim's scream's of agony resounded from the oven.
When Gaz took him out, despite his agony he was still able to shout: "HA! FOOL! YOU HAVE JUST MADE ZIM STRONGER! I'M NOW FIRM AND READY TO TAKE ON THE WORLD!" Shouted the green loaf of bread that was Zim.
Gaz smirks, "Really? Seems to me like your just full of hot air-
SLICE!
GAH!
Screamed Zim as Gaz started to slice him up, "Oh, this is gonna hurt!" Groaned Zim right before his face on the heel fell over and slammed against the counter. "GAH! MY FACE! (sob) ...my face..."
Gaz takes away all the pieces of bread- which she's thrilled to see she can still feel pain collectively even when separated from each other and puts them all in toasters.
And once more sits back and relaxes to the sound of Zim's cries of pain...
Finally he pops back up, "...Can't...move...my...face..." He groaned.
"Buddy your toast." Said Gaz with a sadistic smile as he picked up the pieces of toast.
"Cease...your...insolence...you...won't...break...me..." Groaned Zim.
Gaz just laughed, "We'll see...I rather think Iggins will have a second opinion on that, don't you Iggins?"
"Huh?" Asked the stick of butter that used to be Iggins before Gaz sliced his face in half and crushed/smothered across Zim's now mutilated and burnt pieces of body(i.e. the toast).
GAH! MY FACE! MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!
Screamed Iggins. But his scream pales in comparison to Zim when Gaz slices his face(and one of his eyes) in half. Gaz's stomach then starts to grumble...Gaz hadn't eaten in awhile...she looks at the still screaming toast...shrugs and-
(yeah, there's no way I'm NOT censoring this)
...
Thankfully the ray eventually wears out and Zim reconstitutes to his original form...but not before Zim ends up in the sewer.
"That she-beast has ruined, tortured, and humiliated me! In ways that Zim never thought possible...why dose Zim's squeedlyspooch purr with arousal?"
...
Gaz looked at her watch as she rushed through the Skool, "Dang it! I wasted too much time with that idiot! I'm going to be late getting back! Mrs. Bitters will have my butt on a platter!"
Gaz chuckles, "Well, I guess it was kinda worth it just to be able to say from this point on that that jerk is LITERALLY a walking piece of shi-
And then she sees an all-too-familiar sight...
Gaz turns green as she covers her eyes from the sight of her naked brother, "So that's what was drawing everyone's attention to the gymnasium..." Despite the situation Gaz can't help but chuckle at Dib's misfortune...and get an idea...
Dib, too busy preserving his modesty and looking for a place to hide or something to cover himself...didn't see his sister...or her pulling the fire alarm.
Hearing this, a panicked Dib ran though the nearest door...which to his horror was to outside. He tried to get back inside...but Gaz had already locked it...
Hey, they may have been on better terms then in most universes but there was no way Gaz was going to let this opportunity go by...if she had to streak home naked, so did he!
...
Tak groaned as she dragged herself out of the smoking crater... "What- what was that?! This puny planet shouldn't have defenses like that! I- She shakes her head, "Worry about that latter! Focus! Remember your training; asses the situation...stranded on a mostly unknown world, ship totaled, Mimi was nowhere in sight, her gear-
And then she went a far deeper shade of green...her clothes were ash! She was NAKED!
She groaned as she covered her privates embarrassed, "I was better off on Dirt..." She moaned humiliated...
…III...
TO BE CONTINUED?
AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.
But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?
Love me, flame me, review me