On The Freedom Of Existence.
Chapter Six.
Jazz brought the lights up with a databurst, sitting up himself and looking at Prowl. Prowl was lying back on the berth, twitching and screaming although his optics were still shuttered. Jazz had no previous experience of this, he knew of the human concept of 'nightmares', and also knew that battle trauma could bring unwanted memories to the fore even during recharge, but he had no experience of dealing with this situation. He did the only thing he could think of, and databurst Ratchet for advice. Ratchet's response was short and direct.
"Wake him. Get him conscious, I'm coming up. Be careful, in his confusion he may not know who you are." Ratchet said.
Jazz leaned over, grabbing Prowl by the shoulders. He shook him as hard as he could, both vocally and by databurst, yelling "WAKE UP, PROWL!"
Prowl's optics unshuttered, staring beyond Jazz's face, not focused, and he sat up abruptly, making a grab for Jazz with one of his heavy clawed hands. Jazz, recalling Ratchet's warning, and the damage Prowl had inadvertently done Ratchet with that same hand, took a leap for the wall to his left, magnetising his hands and feet a second before they made contact with the wall, landing eighteen feet up it. Thus able to use the wall to move about on and stay on, Jazz scrambled further up, to be out of reach of those hands, and looked down at Prowl with concern.
Prowl had stopped screaming, and all that could be heard for a few minutes was the sound of Prowl's plating-edges clicking together as the black-and-white mech shook, and fought to bring his emotions under control. He looked up, his optics brightening as they focused on the wall-clinging Jazz.
"Jazz…thank you. I will be okay now." He said, his voice calm and even, as controlled as Jazz recalled it being before Prowl had disappeared. "Please, I won't hurt you, come back down. I apologise for disturbing your rest."
Jazz climbed back down, demagnetising his feet and dropping the last five feet on to the floor.
The door buzzed: someone was asking to come in.
"Come in." Jazz said, databursting the door computer the 'open' signal. The door opened and Ratchet came in.
"Prowl, I apologise." said the medic. "I meant to offer to put a filter on that memory, but I forgot to earlier, what with everything else I had to think about. Come down to the med bay and I can do that now, as well as give you the Barricade-memories you asked for. The filter will not block the memory, but means that you will only think about it and remember it when you want to."
Prowl nodded.
"Yes please, Ratchet, I would like the filter and the Barricade-memories. This memory could be very inconvenient if it invaded my thoughts while working, or in a battle, and the Barricade-memory may help if we need to plan for battle, or may help me recognise a strategy the Decepticons might be using."
"I should warn you that some of the Barricade-memories may prove to be distressing as well, and that some of his reactions may have become so deep-seated in them that you might find yourself feeling his rage, his hatreds, at times." Ratchet said. "However, you should, under ordinary circumstances, be able to keep control, for these feelings are only ghosts, echoes of a time before. Occasionally they may take you by surprise, but if you learn to differentiate between your feelings and the echoes of the Barricade-persona, it should not pose too much of a problem."
Prowl nodded again.
"Thanks for the warning." He replied.
They reached the med bay, and Ratchet offlined Prowl. He took the opportunity to finish looking at the offending memory. He was horrified to discover that this Salvage person had deliberately brought Prowl back online whenever he had gone offline from the pain of being altered. Whoever Salvage had been, he had been a real sadist.
"I cannot make you feel your memory and personality being changed for our purposes, but I will make you feel every moment as your body is changed, plate by plate, circuit by circuit, into the Decepticon you will become." He had stated coldly. "Goodbye, Autobot tactician Prowl, hello Decepticon warrior…well, we'll find a name later." He had said.
Ratchet shuddered, pulling out of the memory. He carefully set up the filter, and then set to putting in the memory chips he had copied Barricade's memories to.
oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo
Prowl tensed as he came back online, his body shaking for a short time, but then he regained control and composure, and sat up.
"Yes, I see what you mean about the emotional echoes. There is hatred of the Autobots in there, and fear, particularly of you." Prowl told Ratchet. Ratchet's optics widened.
"Fear of me? Why?" he asked.
"I recall that there were some pretty nasty rumours circulating amongst the Decepticons about the Autobots in general, and about certain individuals in particular. One of the rumours concerned you." Prowl told him. Ratchet blinked his optics again.
"What do they say about me?" he asked.
"They said that you will reprogram any mech you might find on the battlefield who you think may be useful. They say that if you don't find him useful enough to reprogram, you'll find him useful in a different way, to cannibalise for spare parts, even if he's still alive and functioning." Prowl told him.
This time, it was Ratchet's turn to tense, shutter his optics, and shake. It was a good minute before Ratchet was able to open his optics and speak, and his voice was thick with disgust, horror, and disbelief.
"I would never do something like that!" he said. "Who started that rumour? Salvage?"
"No, I don't think he did." Prowl stated. "In fact, I think Salvage believed it himself."
Ratchet still looked shocked, so Prowl decided to change the subject.
"Could you and Cliffjumper alter me back to the way I used to be?" he asked. Face and body, that is?"
Ratchet nodded slowly.
"We can change back your appearance, Prowl, although I think replacing the hydraulic joints and systems you've been given could be very awkward. I would recommend you keep them."
Prowl nodded. "The hydraulics will make my legs and arms steadier, my grip surer, and improve my aim. They are efficient." He allowed a small smile to turn up the corners of his mouth. "I think I could live with that."
"Good." said Ratchet. "It will take a while, requiring numerous visits, but I can change your body and facial appearance to resemble as closely as possible the way you were before your capture. You will, of course, be offlined for all the reconstructive work. I can give you a new vocal processor as well, you won't sound exactly the same as you did, but it will be less threatening than it is now. Cliffjumper will have free rein over re-sculpting your face, he is the craftsmech, after all. He will welcome the chance to use his pre-war skills. If anyone can give you your old face back, it's Cliffjumper."
"I am glad." Prowl said. "It is discomforting to look in a mirror and find myself viewing the face of a foe. It will be a relief, too, to be rid of this voice."
Ratchet nodded. "The filter is on, the memory chips installed. If you have any further problems, come and see me. Until then, I suggest you go back with Jazz and finish that rest."
Prowl shook his head.
"I can't relax, not after that. I'm sorry, but I'd rather stay awake."
"Then come an' see our R+R room, an' meet some of the others – don't worry, I'll explain who ya are – have some energon, and unwind." Jazz suggested.
Prowl nodded slowly.
"Yes, thank you, I think I will. I would like to become reacquainted with some of my old fighting comrades, and the earlier I do so, the quicker they find out who I really am. I'd rather explain myself in a peaceful, relaxed situation than find myself possibly being shot by my own side if there's a surprise Decepticon attack anytime soon."
"Very wise." said Ratchet in approval.
"C'mon Prowler, I'll give ya the Base orientation tour, an' we'll end up at th' R+R room. I can even teach ya how to play 'pool'." Jazz said.
"The name is Prowl, as I have told you before, yes, I would welcome a Base orientation tour, and I would like to find out what this 'pool' is before I learn to play it. I hope it does not involve bodies of water." Prowl said.
Jazz chuckled. "No, it involves no water at all, Prowl. Follow me."
Jazz, as promised, took Prowl around all the Base, and then led him into a room not at all far from the med bay, with a glass partition.
Prowl walked in, and allowed his gaze to sweep the room. There were, he noticed, the Twins, Sideswipe and Sunstreaker, and despite the fact the pair headed his 'nuisances' list, he was gratified to see that they had survived to get here. They were throwing metal projections at a cork board with a picture pinned to it.
Further down the room stood Mirage and Hound, at an oblong green table with red and yellow balls on it. They both held tapering wooden cylinders, and as Prowl watched, Hound used his to hit a white ball, which hit a yellow ball, which ricoched off it to enter a cavity in the table's side. There were six of these cavities, Prowl noticed, one at each corner, and one in the middle of each longest side. To one side sat Ironhide and Powerglide, with mugs of energon, Powerglide being his usual boastful self, and Ironhide the quiet listener.
The first one to notice him was the yellow twin, Sunstreaker. His reaction was entirely predictable.
"It's that slagger, Barricade! He's escaped somehow!" he said, powering up his cannon and rushing over. "Jazz, get down, I'll blast his aft into the Pit for him!" he cried.
"No, Sunstreaker, he ain't gonna hurt anyone, he's Prowl!" Jazz said, but Prowl could see that Sunstreaker wasn't even listening. Knowing that his actions might be taken more notice of, Prowl pushed past the protesting Jazz, to cross his arms at the wrist at waist-level, in the almost universal sign-promise of no hostile intent.
Even Sunstreaker hesitated at this, long enough for Ironhide to stride over and grasp Sunstreaker's cannon, pushing down on it to force it to point at the floor.
"No Sunstreaker, if Jazz says he's not a danger, he must have a reason. Let Jazz explain." Ironhide said.
Sunstreaker, knowing that Ironhide was as cannon-happy as he if the situation warranted, nodded. "If you're willing to let Jazz explain the presence of that vicious 'Con in our rec-room, then I'll wait to hear the explanation. If it's not a good enough reason, I'm blasting him." The yellow Twin said.
"Barricade was brought in after that last battle because Ratchet felt duty-bound as a medic to treat him." stated Jazz. "Ratchet has carried out a thorough investigation, includin' a full interface, and it turns out that Barricade is a remodelled, reprogrammed Autobot, one I know you all know. This is Prowl, and now that Ratchet has removed all the Barricade-personality overlay, he knows that, but getting' his body recognisable is gonna take quite some time. Ratchet is certain he's Prowl. If ya don't trust our Ratch, that's up to you, but I trust him. If ya wanna blast Prowl, ya gotta get through me first." Jazz said.
The red twin stepped forwards.
"The Hatchet may grouse at us a lot, and he's too free with his wrenches for my liking, but I would never question his professional competence." Sideswipe, the red twin said. Sunstreaker nodded his agreement, powering down his cannon.
"Don't you have a rule about no weapons to be powered up in the rec-room?" Prowl asked Ironhide.
"Not yet." Said Ironhide.
"There is now!" said Prowl, and Ironhide nodded his agreement
"Now there is no doubt." Said Sunstreaker. "That's Prowl, all right."
"Trust it to be Prowl to be the next arrival." Said Sideswipe. "The amount of rules is going to double!" There was no rancour in the tone, it was a playful comment. Prowl smiled a little. With the Twins verbally sniping at him, he felt strangely at home.
"Thank you, Sideswipe, I love you too." He said back in a similarly-jocular manner.
The commotion had attracted the attention of every other mech in the room and they had all come over in time to hear Jazz's explanation. Mirage was the first to speak and react next.
"Welcome back, Prowl. You've been missed." He said. The rest of the mechs echoed his welcome and murmured their agreement. "You want to learn how to play pool?" he asked.
"Jazz mentioned this game. What is 'pool?'" asked Prowl.
"Come over here, me and Jazz'll play a game, and then you can have a go if you like." said Mirage, putting a hand on Prowl's shoulder and leading him over to the green table.
Jazz and Mirage played a slow game of pool, explaining the rules and point of the game as they played. Then Jazz played a game against him, allowing him to re-take some shots to give him a chance, and then Mirage began playing against him, to give him some practice.
Prowl was about to take a shot on his yellow ball when he paused. A distant look appeared in his eyes. Mirage thought he was just measuring up the shot, until he just dropped the pool cue and turned, heading at a run out of the room.
"Was it something I said?" asked Mirage. A moment later, the Base-wide intercom (installed so announcements could be heard by mech and visiting human alike) switched on. It was Bumblebee making the announcement.
"Sensors indicate that a landing is about to occur nearby. The signal coming from it indicates that the arrival is a Decepticon. Hang on a moment, I think there's an identifying message as well." Bumblebee paused a moment, and then spoke again. "The new arrival, it seems is some Decepticon we do not know whose name is Salvage."
There was a ripe explosion of invective at this from the direction of the medical bay. Mirage and Jazz went out, wondering what had prompted the outburst. They found Ratchet heading towards them, Ratchet grabbed Jazz's arm.
"Where's Prowl?" he asked. Before either Jazz or Mirage could explain, the question was answered by Cliffjumper, who was manning the gate, speaking over the intercom.
"Can someone explain to me why Prowl has overridden the gate controls, and blasted out of the gate like half the Pit is after him? He just said something to me about going to meet an old friend. Shouldn't there be people going with him?"
Ratchet let out another blistering string of cuss words, and headed for the gates, Jazz and Mirage right behind him.