Book One, Part Five – A.J.

"Come on Bella, you can do this! Push!" James coached.

"You fucking push!" I yelled.

I was on this stupid bed, practically folded in half, my legs spread wide, with an old ass man sitting between them like he was a catcher for the Mariners. Oh and pain was ripping through my back, to my abdomen, down to my not-so-good girl, that was currently being stretched to the size of a Volvo and might never recover. Are vaginas elastic? I mean, I didn't want a guy, if I ever slept with another guy and at the moment that didn't look so promising, to fall in to never be found again.

Oh God, these drugs were fucking with my brain…they were not helping my pain however.

Painkillers, my ass.

"Okay Bella, just one more push and your baby will make its debut."

"Didn't your ass say that like ten pushes ago?" I asked.

He smiled kindly and just repeated himself.

"Aarghhh! Jesus Christ, this shit hurts!" I screamed.

"Bella, shhh, baby. Calm down." James said.

"Calm down? CALM DOWN! You try squeezing something the size of a watermelon out of something the size of a lemon and we will see if you stay calm!"

"Okay, Bella, you don't want to miss this. Look down." Dr. Gerandy said.

I did as he suggested and gasped. All I could see was bronze curly hair and blood and white cakey stuff on his or her head…at least I think that was its head. I hope it was its head.

"Okay one last push and you can meet your baby."

I grunted as I pushed and the baby just slipped out into the doctor's hands. I threw myself back in relief. Thank God that was over.

"It's a girl!"

A girl…I had a daughter.

James leaned down and kissed my sweaty forehead.

"You did it Bella. You did great! She is beautiful…well I think she is beautiful, but she is covered with some nasty shit right now." James said honestly.

I slapped him on the arm half- heartedly.

"Of course she is beautiful."

The nurse interrupted us with a smile.

"Would you like to hold her, Miss Swan?"

"Please."

Suddenly a squirming baby swaddled in a pink blanket was placed in my arms. I looked down at her and I felt it…

My heart.

I mean, I knew it was still in there, physically speaking but metaphorically…it had been gone. And now it was like all the fissured pieces had fused back together, only leaving a small hole where it should have been complete.

She had reddish curly hair, most of it obscured by a pink and blue striped hat. Her fingers were long like mine, her chin and mouth also reminiscent of me. But when she opened her eyes, they were a deep green…

Just like his.

I would be looking into his eyes for the rest of my life.

'Just like I never existed', my ass.

"So, what's her name gonna be?" James asked, looking down at my daughter in awe.

I looked down at her and back up at him and I just...knew.

"Anna Jaymes Swan. After her uncle and my best friend."

His answering grin was met with mine.

**ICUY**

We settled into a routine as the weeks passed on. Anna Jaymes, or A.J as we called her, was a good baby, sweet in nature. She rarely cried, thank god, and slept at intervals of four hours, which I was told was a godsend. I graduated high school on time and with honors. Charlie, James and A.J. were all there to support me at the ceremony. James' loud ass could be heard over everyone there.

James. He was so good with A.J.. It was like he was born to be a father. I knew he thought of her as his and while I appreciated that, I feared his heart was going to be irreparably damaged like mine was. But he deserved that title above anyone else in A.J.'s life, so for now I didn't say anything.

It was that summer that James pulled me aside for a conversation.

"Can I talk to you Bella?" He asked.

"Of course. Just let me put A.J down in her bassinet." I quickly did just that and sat back down.

"You know how you decided to put off college until A.J. is older?" He asked.

I looked down at my hands and chewed on my lip.

"Yeah."

"Well, you don't have to and I think you should take U Dub up on their offer." He said.

U Dub, or the University of Washington, had offered me a full scholarship to their campus in Seattle. I had been planning to be a doctor but that had suddenly started to look like a pipe dream. I had deferred it for a year and they had graciously let me do that considering my circumstances.

"I already put that off. I will maybe go next year." I told James.

"Look, I got my GED and I have been offered a job in Seattle that will help me pay for my schooling. I am going to college with you. We can get an apartment, a three bedroom apartment," He amended when I shot him a look. "And I can work and we can go to school. They have grants for housing for single mothers to help us out. And your dad said he would do whatever he could and so did your mom."

"My mom?"

My mother. Renee Higginbotham Swan Dwyer. Biggest woman surgeon in the U.S., though I think she was going for world domination. She made no secret of her disdain for my current predicament. It wasn't A.J. that she objected to, it was the time of my life in which she had occurred that she had a problem with. She was living in Arizona with my step father, Phil and my half brother, Peter. Now that was a scandal. He was two years younger than me, which would not be a problem if maybe we had the same father. See Mom was having an affair with Phil behind my Dad's back when I was a baby. When Mom turned up pregnant again, no one thought anything of it…until Peter was born…

See Phil is a good looking man, but he is a good looking black man. My Dad is white, so let's just say that when Peter came out, it was a shock to almost everyone. Dad filed for divorce, Phil left his wife, Mom married Phil and no one ever looked back. I had lived with Mom until I was fourteen and then after a summer visit with my dad, I had really liked it and decided to stay. My Dad and I were very close now and I had A.J. so no matter what else happened, I couldn't let myself regret the choice I had made then.

"I don't understand."

"Your mom said that if you went to college and kept your grades up, she would pay for everything that the grant wouldn't. The apartment for us, A.J.'s nanny, cost of living, cars, everything." He said.

"And what do I have to give her in return? My first born? Cause I am rather attached to her." I said dryly.

"No. You become what you set out to be. A doctor." He said.

I sucked in a breath. Is it possible that I could have everything, well almost everything, that I wanted.

"So what do you say?" James asked.

"Okay. Yes." I agreed.

"Yes?" He asked, making sure.

"Yes."

"Whoo hoo! We are moving to Seattle!" He pulled me off the couch and twirled me around my living room. "We are going to be world famous doctors and A.J. will have everything she ever wanted. You will have the life you deserve. I promise."

He sat me down and looked at me, grinning from ear to ear.

In that very moment, I believed him.

I don't know if a baby can be born with green eyes, but I'm going with it. Also, yes this was wrapped up in a neat little bow. Single parenthood even with help is not close to this easy. I call fiction. :)