OMG!!1!! So like thi s is a storey about a gurl and a hot guy! I suk at summerys. Just read! First fic!! lol! P.S. in case u didn' tknow these peeps are totally Stephenies!

EPOV

We made our way to the warehouse, my cape flapping in the breeze, drawing unnecessary attention to us. But it looked cool.

The warehouse was abandoned, but for some unknown reason there were dozens of yummy smelling humans standing around. As we got closer to the people Jasper started sobbing again, tears that he wasn't supposed to be able to cry streaming down his cheeks, while he hastily tried to rearrange his new black fringe bangs.

I sighed, tired of Jasper's continuous emo crying. "Now what?"

"I can totally feel they don't like my new angsty hair. I did it for them! For the fans…but they sure do smell delicious. Maybe just a quick taste."

"No! I won't let you. Besides, I've decided to temporarily revert to my old ways now. I must eat a human!"

Emmett, standing a few paces behind us started laughing yet again.

I shot Emmett my best angry vampire scowl. "Emmett, this is hardly the time for laughter."

Laughing even more obnoxiously he said, "Its always time for laughter. And eating humans is hilarious!"

I hung my head in a dejected, sad sort of way. "No. Killing people is wrong. I am a bad vampire with no soul." I sighed disparagingly. I knew there was only one thing to do. I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and pressed the speed dial for Aro Air.

Emmett knocked the phone out of my hands. "Like, dude! Suck. It. Up. Enough of this 'woe is me crap.' Don't we have to go save your preggers woman now?"

"Oh, yeah. Sorry." Giving my cape one last overly dramatic swish, we swept grandly into the warehouse, ready to fight the hoards of menacing vampires.

Instead of hundreds of guards, all we saw was Bella, sitting in a corner, holding what appeared to be a bundle of rags. Upon seeing us she leapt up, flung herself and the rag ball at me, screeching, "Eeeeeddddiiiieeeee!"

"Bella? Are you ok? What happened to Victoria? Why are you hugging fabric?"

"I'm fine. Victoria left. She was grossed out by the whole birth thing."

What was that infernal woman talking about? "Birth thing?"

"Um, surprise! It's a boy…I think."

That's when I noticed that bunch of rags was actually a baby wrapped in a supremely tattered coat. I shook my head in an attempt to clear the confusion. "Wait, you had the baby already?! It's only been two days!"

Bella smiled slyly at me. "I guess vampires just do things faster."

"Vampires? That baby is a vampire?!" I bent over to get a better look. Upon closer inspection, the baby looked more human to me. He had brown hair, rosy cheeks, and smelled delicious. And then he smiled.

"Bella, he has fangs! Vampires don't actually have fangs!"

"Well my baby vamp does."

"Then that means he can't be mine. Nooooooooo!" I ran out of the building and away from Bella, forever. No more flowery smelling girl for me. Maybe I can find that Tripod Tara girl that Carlisle was telling me about…

BPOV

As Edward ran away, Emmett dissolved into gales of laughter. "Running…away is…hysterical!"

Jasper smacked Emmett on the back of the head, tears cascading down his cheeks again. "No, leaving is miserable!"

Emmett started jumping up and down. "Hysterical, hysterical, hysterical!"

God, has he always been this annoying? "Guys, stop it! Where did Edward go?"

With a few last sniffles, Jasper wiped his eyes, smearing eyeliner all over in the process. "You didn't hear him as he ran away? He was muttering something about tripods."

"I just had a baby and he's off to take pictures?" Stupid, inconsiderate, sparkly, awesome smelling vampire.

"No Bella, I think he is more gone for good this time than the last time he ran away."

"Wait. Gone as in never coming back, at least for a while until I'm changed?"

"Yup, seems like."

I started yelling crazily, "Must become vampire now, to make Edward come back!"

Jasper leaned down, trying to console me. "Really, don't you think that's overreacting."

"NO! Vampire me! Now!"

Over the din, Emmett was continuing to laugh uproariously behind us, now pointing at Jasper's face. Jasper turned to confront his obnoxious brother.

"What is so funny Emmett?!"

"It's you, with that makeup smeared all over. You look like an emo clown! Sad, sad emo clown." Whistling circus music he proceeded to dance in a little circle.

With this commotion nobody would notice if I happened to sink my baby's fangs into my neck would they? Just as I began to try, Jasper yanked me away from my kid's teeth. "You need therapy. That's the ticket. Back to Carlisle we go."

"But I thought he was a surgeon."

"He's a doctor, he knows things. Good enough."

--At the mansion again--

Alice had whisked my baby off to do some serious spending at Baby Brooks Brothers or some other ridiculous place so all I had to concentrate on was my therapy with Carlisle.

"Ok Bella, lay down on the couch for me."

"Uh Carlisle, are you sure that's appropriate? I mean you're hot and all but you're really more like my dad."

Carlisle sighed. "This is going to be more work than I thought. If it would make you feel better, you can sit."

"Fine. I'll lie down. It's your fault though if this whole laying down around sexy vampires doesn't work out so well for the therapy."

With another deep breath Carlisle sat down in the chair across from the couch were I was lying. "I'm going to ask you a few questions. Please just answer with the first thing that pops into your head, ok?"

"Sure, fire away."

"What's your favorite candy?"

"Lemonheads."

"Who's your favorite actor?

"Jack Lemmon."

"Favorite dessert?"

"Lemon meringue pie."

"Favorite movie?"

"Lemony Snickett."

"Favorite dish soap?"

"Lemon Joy."

Stopping the rapid fire questions, Carlisle began rubbing his temples. "Bella, you seem to have an unusual obsession with lemons. Can you think why that may be?"

"Because lately there's nothing I like more than a nice, juicy lemony scene."

Carlisle looked confused. "What's a lemon scene?"

"Oh never mind. I can see this isn't going to work out." I started to get up from the couch, but tripped on the corner of the rug. Carlisle lunged to catch me at the same time I made a grab for the chair he was sitting in. My neck landed right on the lower ridge of his teeth which promptly sliced through my soft skin.

Looking up into Carlisle's face he appeared chagrined. "Oops. My bad. I guess now we wait."

Lemony Bella is becoming a vampire…Oooooh. Thanks to my loyal readers and to all the reviewers!

-kc