Chapter 6 – Torn

Thanks for all the reviews everybody.

It was interesting to read your answers from the question I asked in the last chapter. It wasn't a huge surprise to find that nobody said Italy should be with Prussia; he is kind of a dick in this story. But then again so is Germany and he got a lot of the votes.

Now I did notice a few of you said neither should be with Italy and I really liked the reasons behind them. They spoke very true to the story.

I also noticed some of you gave some suggestions on how the story should end. I really liked the different scenarios that some of you thought up. Having Italy end up with Japan certainly would be interesting, but I can't say how this story will end.

Anyways thanks again and enjoy the new chapter.

I woke up the next morning painstakingly stiff from falling asleep on the floorboards. My clothes were still stuck to me from how muggy it was in the shed. There was no ventilation in here so my body became slick with perspiration within an hour of being stuck in here. I wiped a bead of sweat off my brow and licked my chapped lips, I was so thirsty.

As well as being almost dehydrated, the palms of my hands were covered in blisters. Using that old peeler for hours on end caused my hands to be riddled with sores. I hissed as I touched my fingers to the blisters on my palm, a trickle of blood ran down from one of them. I sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time this morning as I stared at the door, waiting to be let out.

I hope Germany didn't forget that I'm still in here.

I pounded on the door for hours last night, hoping someone would hear my pleas and take pity on me. Either no one heard me or no one cared to check. I spent the rest of the night peeling potatoes until my hands were too blistered to peel any more. I was only able to peel about a fourth of the potatoes in the shed, there was just too many for one person to do.

So I just sat and waited. Being in here had me thinking of Germany and how he treated me yesterday. I knew the German was stern and had a bit of a temper but I never thought in a millions years that Germany would kick me like a dog. Germany always tried to be tolerant with me and never shout in anger, but yesterday he threw me to the ground, stomped on my hand and kicked me right in the stomach. It's like Germany was a completely different person, not the Germany I knew.

The Germany I loved.

I knew right now Germany hated me, but for what reason exactly, I didn't know. I had been trying to think of a rational reason why Germany would be so angry at me, enough to cause me physical pain. Was Germany mad that I was seeing his brother? Was he mad that he had to find out via letter? That I kept it a secret from him?

He couldn't possibly be jealous….

Could he?

It was then that I heard the rustling of a lock as Germany flung open the door. The German sounded out of breath; as if he ran all the way down here. I couldn't see his face because of the sunlight casting him in a shadow but I could have sworn I heard him breathe a sigh of relief.

"Let's go Italy." I heard Germany say when he finally caught his breath.

I slowly got myself up and cracked my back, stretching my arms as I did so. My joints were killing me from sleeping in such an awkward place for the night; I couldn't wait to get back to my own bed. I shambled my way out the door and followed Germany back up to the house. We both walked in an uncomfortable silence before Germany slowed his pace and spoke up.

"If Prussia asks vhere you were, you will tell him you were at Spain's visiting your Bruder. Got it?" Germany asked as he turned to give me a hard look.

"I don't want to lie to Prussia, Germany."

Germany stopped walking, his hands balled into fists and shaking slightly.

"You are going to tell him what I told you Italy. Or do you want me to throw you back in that shed again!" Germany threatened as he turned his body to face me directly.

I flinched as Germany took an intimidating step towards me, his blue eyes on the brink of fury.

"N-no, Germany."

"Gute."

I hated the way Germany was treating me. It hurt to have him threaten and yell at me for things that weren't my fault. I didn't want to lose my friendship with Germany but I'm starting to feel like it's already lost. I still loved Germany dearly but it was getting hard to hold onto that love when he was treating me like dirt.

I walked into the kitchen behind Germany to find Prussia sitting at the table, looking irritable and drumming his fingers on the counter. When his eyes came upon me they narrowed before he stood up and walked over to me.

"Vhere have you been Italy? And vhy are your clothes covered in sweat?" Prussia asked as he pinched my clothes between his fingers.

I noticed Germany give me a warning look before I answered.

"I was at Spain's house. And my clothes are sweaty because I was working in the kitchen with Romano before I left this morning." I said nervously as the two German's were both giving me harsh looks.

"Very well, come now Italy." Prussia said as he grabbed my arm and tugged me alongside him. I was dragged down into the basement and into the Prussian's spotless room.

"Ve~ Gilbert, I'm very tired right now so would it be alright if I…"

I wasn't given a chance to finish my sentence as Prussia grabbed my arms and slammed me into the wall, knocking the air out of me.

"Vhen did I say you could just take off and leave me like zat? Do you think you can just do vhatever the hell you vant without telling me first? AND LOOK AT ME VHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!" Prussia screamed; grabbing my face with one hand and forcing me to look him in the eyes.

Prussia's insane crimson eyes bored into my own terrified amber ones. His pale hand tightened on my face as I cowered in his grasp, too afraid to utter a single word. His teeth bared up in a snarl as he drew back his hand and cracked me in the jaw. I would have flown into the ground if he hadn't kept his strong hold on my other arm.

I tasted blood in my mouth as my head swirled from the punch. The room swayed and became fuzzy as I tried my best to focus on standing upright. I just wanted to curl up and cry. I was tired of being hit and pushed around that I briefly considered leaving the Axis for good and running home to Northern Italy where I could be safe.

Germany…please help…come save me!

But Germany wasn't here to save me, not anymore anyways. Even if I did yell for him, would he come to help? Or would he tell me this is what I get for loving his brother? Would Germany even care that I was constantly being hurt and tormented by the Prussian? Or would he just hit me too for crying out to him?

But we're supposed to be best friends forever…..and friends are supposed to care for each other even in hard times….

I guess Germany lied.

"I asked you a question Italien!" Prussia yelled as he picked me up and slammed my back into the wall again.

"W-w-wha-at?" I said through chattering teeth.

"Vhy did you leave without telling me? Huh! I vhant an answer!"

"I d-don't know! I didn't t-think you b-be so ups-set."

"You didn't think I'd be upset! Do you even use that dummkopf brain of yours!"

Tears began to swell in my eyes as Prussia became an angry distortion in front of me.

"Please Gilbert, I w-wasn't thinking!"

"So you just left without any consideration of how I might have felt with you ditching me! Is zat it! Du dumme schlampe!"

"I'm sorry! I'm s-sorry!"

Prussia stopped his livid tirade and gazed at me silently as I broke down and cried in is grasp. I bawled my eyes out as my body shook terribly from the wretched sobs. Prussia released his iron hold on my arms after a moment and pulled me to his strong chest, rubbing my back soothingly. I cried and held onto his dress-shirt as my emotions got the best of me. Prussia continued to hold onto me as he stoked my hair and whispered for me to 'hush'.

"Don't cry Ita-chan. I'm sorry that I hit you, so please stop crying. I don't like seeing you like this." Prussia whispered soothingly as he held me tight in his arms.

"Now I don't like hitting you Italy…"

Prussia took my face in his hands as he looked me square in the eye.

"But sometimes you don't leave me any choice. Do you understand? I only do this because I love you Feli." Prussia said lovingly as he lightly kissed my forehead.

He pulled me back into another hug as he kissed the top of my head repeatedly. I let out shaky sobs as I tried to calm back down. The tears still ran down my cheeks but I stopped my insistent bawling, for the moment at least. I could still feel the sharp sting from where Prussia had cracked me and I wondered if it would leave a bad bruise.

"You love me too, right Italy?" Prussia whispered into my ear, a slight edge to his voice.

"Of course G-gilbert." I said while slightly shaking in his arms.

Prussia smiled and gave me an avid kiss on the lips. I timidly returned the kiss, hoping the ordeal was over and that I could finally go back to my room and pass out.

"Uhh Gilbert, I'd like t-to go up to my room now and c-change into a new pair of clothes so…"

"Don't worry about that Italien; I already moved all of your stuff down here with me." Prussia said as he walked over to the closet and opened the sliding doors. All of the belongings from my old room were sitting there, neatly organized and separated from Prussia's things in the closet.

"Since ve are already seeing each other it only makes sense that ve live in the same room ja?"

"S-si." I mumbled; a familiar sense of oppression washing over me as I stared into the impeccable closet.

"Gute, now vhy don't you go take a quick shower? Ze bathroom's over there and towels are on ze hanger. And then afterwards you can lay in bed with me for a vhile, you look quite tired Italien." The Prussian said sympathetically as he stroked my face with his thumbs.

I forced a fake smile before quickly walking into the bathroom and closing the door. I listened from the other side of the door, to see if Prussia would leave or stay in the room. I heard the bedsprings squeak as the Prussian laid back down on the bed. I frowned and ran a shaking hand through my greasy hair, hissing as my blisters screamed from the action. I turned on the shower to let Prussia know I was following his orders and fell back against the bathroom wall.

I slid down to the tiled floor and brought my shaking knees up to my chest. I let the sound of running water drown out my sobs as I tried to hold myself together.

I sat on my bed, staring emotionlessly at the floor while I took another long swig of my bottle of Steinhaeger. I hadn't slept so well again, having been kept up with my thoughts of Italy and Bruder. I hated that Italy was with him but I also hated myself for the way I was acting. I didn't like to see Italy cower in fear of me, that isn't what I wanted at all.

And yet I tormented him yesterday, all because I was jealous and hurt. It crushed me to see Italy with my Bruder and the fact that Italy wanted Prussia all along. I felt like Italy betrayed me for wanting to be with mein Bruder instead of me. I always thought that Italy's friendly gestures toward me were signs that he wanted me like I wanted him. I had hoped that one day Italy would tell me the reason he was so kind to me all this time was because he loved me.

But I guess that was all bullshit.

Italy should be with me, not my fucking Bruder. Why would Italy want a retired nation that lived in a damn basement when he's got me? I'm the powerful nation of Germany. I'm strong and hardworking with years of military experience. I have some of the most powerful soldiers in Europe and what does Prussia have? Nothing but memories of his days as a nation.

It's almost insulting that Italy would choose Prussia over me.

Why wouldn't Italy want to be with me? The young Italian seemed to crave my company like an addiction when we first met. Always following me around and trying to start conversations. So why would he not want me?

I have always been patient with him, never wanting to hurt his feelings. I always dropped whatever I was doing to help Italy out whenever he needed me. I have always protected him from enemies, never allowing anyone to hurt him. So why? Why did Italy not give that letter to me? It was rightfully mine!

It's funny when you say you'd never allow anyone to hurt him and yet you kicked him in the gut yesterday...

"Zat wasn't my fault."

Was it because you thought he deserved it?

"Yes...no...verdammt I don't know!"

Do you want the little Italian to be all yours and no one else's?

"Shut up."

Do you think that Italy belongs to you? Because he promised to be your best friend forever?

"That's not it at all..."

Are you upset that your brother took away what was rightfully yours?

"Halt deine fresse!"

And are you mad at Italy for thinking he could have anyone else but you?

"No zats not true!"

I wonder what Italy and Prussia are doing down in the basement right at this moment…

"Gottverdammte sheisse!" I shouted as I violently threw my bottle onto the ground, shattering it into pieces. I got off the bed and began to pace my room back and forth, running my hands through my messy blonde hair. I just wanted things back the way they used to be. I didn't want to hurt Italy anymore or make him afraid of me.

"Italy's my friend..."

Is that why you hit him?

"No I didn't mean to!"

So you didn't mean to kick him in the stomach, crush his hand or lock him in a sweltering shed all night?

"I didn't mean to hurt him like that, I was just angry..."

So that makes it ok?

"SHUT UP!"

I punched the wall, putting my large fist through the drywall. My chest heaved with anger as I rested my forehead against the wall and tried to calm down. I wanted Italy to be with me, not Prussia. But is that why I hurt him yesterday? I was in such a rage that I couldn't control my thoughts or actions. I remember wanting to punish Italy for hurting me like he did. I knew locking him in that shed was very severe but at the time I only wanted him to suffer and learn a lesson.

When I came back here I instantly regretted it. I didn't want Italy to end up hating me because I couldn't control my temper. I wanted him to love me like I loved him.

But that's never going to happen now is it Ludwig?

I hung my head and choked back another sob as I sat down on the bed. I hated this feeling. I hated being away from Italy. I hated the aching sensation I got in my heart whenever I saw Italy with Prussia. I just wanted to drown it all out.

I walked back over to my liquor cabinet and cracked open another bottle of Steinhaeger.

I held Italy closer to my chest as he slept in our bed. The poor Italian was completely exhausted when he came to bed, passing out as soon as laid down next to me. I don't think I want him going over to Spain's anymore, not if Spain is going to be so careless as to spill hot water on my Ita-chan. My little Italien had to wrap his hands up from the blisters on his palms.

I watched him sleep as I studied his face; so young and innocent. I lightly brushed my fingers against the bruise on his jaw; it was probably going to look worse later today.

"I'm sorry Italy." I whispered to him as I stroked his hair and watched him mumble in his sleep.

You'd think the little Italian would learn by now so I wouldn't have to keep correcting him. It was never my intention to bring the poor boy to tears but I can't allow myself to coddle him when he continues to make mistakes. As his partner, it's my job to look out for him and keep his best interests in mind. If I let him do whatever the hell he wants I might lose him, and I will never allow that to happen.

Italy is far too precious to me and I can't risk losing him. I lived a long time and I've seen it happen to other couples. One person in the relationship gets too careless and let's their partner run wild, doing whatever they please without any thought of consequence. And not long after their wayward partner decides they want someone else, someone new and fresh. And they leave just like that.

I refuse to let that happen to me and Italy. Mein Italien just needs to learn his place and know that his place is to stay by my side and not wander off. I know Italy can be a bit careless at times so it might take longer for Italy to understand he can never leave me. But that is perfectly fine; I have all the time in the world to teach Italy that lesson. He will learn it eventually; I'll make sure of it.

I do love him after all.

Looks like Germany's hitting the bottle again. And no, he's not going crazy; he's just VERY stressed, aggravated and confused right now. So he's just sorta talking/arguing with himself.

I wonder what Japan would think of this whole ordeal? He hasn't found out yet but he will here pretty soon, and he'll notice something isn't right.

Thanks for reviewing and if you happen to change your mind on who Italy should be with let me know, and tell me your reasons why.

Until next time

mcpidy

Translations:

German:

Du dumme schlampe – you stupid bitch

Halt deine fresse – shut up

Gottverdammte Sheisse – goddamn shit