The truth is, everything sucks. In the large, grand scheme of things the bad wildly out weighs the good to such an extent it is a miracle that the human race somehow managed to survive. The insurgents of a failed idea come back to the new with bombs strapped to their chests, while the first world blames anyone who isn't them for problems they don't experience and don't understand. The shifting blame and the human race's total incapability to takes what's given and use it wisely. The people in cancer wards waiting patiently to die, the trains that run into buildings, the terrible decisions that nobody quite understands. It all just… sucks.

Levi knew this.

Eren did not.

The suckiness of the world was lost on him, only seeing was right in front of his eyes. School work and socialising, the rest of the world a dirty window yet to be cleaned and seen through. He walked past the atrocities of society everyday, but he never spared them a glance. Never thought about it or consciously looked, he just looked in the other direction without knowing it. Levi knew it wasn't his fault, he was the product of a middle class society with a guilty conscience and nothing better to do. Still it was a largely painful experience to watch, to bask in the company of someone who was so endlessly convinced their problems were big enough to spare more than a thought.

I'm going to punch him one of these days, he thought as he sipped his tea, stupid brat.

He sat waiting for Eren to return from school. He was impatient though. He was sure that if he just stormed up to the school, demanded one Eren Jaeger and told them it was some sort of secret military operation they would probably hand him over, but that seemed a little over dramatic, even for him. Well, just damn everything then.

Sensitive ears picked up the quiet tap of footsteps and Levi leapt up, feeling somewhat triumphant even though he had done nothing to force Eren to come home. Maybe the boy could just tell. He stormed towards the door way and threw it open before Eren had a chance to. The boy looked at him startled and Levi looked up at him. He really had to find a way to shrink Eren. Maybe he would be the first one he would use the ray gun on. He almost smiled at the thought, but then it didn't work.

"No, not coming in today. Time to go" he pushed Eren's chest, forcing him back into the corridor with his superior strength. At least ten years worth of martial arts training came in handy every now and then.

"What? Lee? What's going on?" Eren attempted, very valiantly in his opinion, to make sense of the situation. Considering that he really just wanted to go home and for Levi to not be in one of his horribly foul moods it wasn't surprising that he was just a little soft in the head for the moment. He could go for one of those nights where they did nothing, but play video games and Levi wasn't quite sober.

"No comment" apparently that night was not on the scientist's agenda. He was roughly pushed into the passenger side of Levi's car with a grunt. And thus they were off to whatever mysterious destination Levi wanted.

"Seriously, Lee, where are we going?" He honestly couldn't remember when the name had just suddenly become Levi, it was just a nickname. Sometimes, if he really, really wanted to annoy the older man he would referred to the military scientist as "the clean freak" which would immediately get him a week's worth of deadly glares. Levi was one of those people that could hold a grudge over the tiniest of things.

"I'm sure you'll figure it out eventually" there was that voice again, that slightly nervous, slightly paled voice, the voice he had when he was doing a particularly avid and dangerous experiment that he couldn't tell Eren about because it was his job.

"Could you at least give me a clue?" Eren looked at him pleadingly, even though thin eyes were glued to the road. Levi sighed as if he was dealing with a child.

"Think about it, what day is it today?" Eren bit his lip.

"Friday"

"And what do I do on Fridays and Mondays?" Well, at least Levi was trying to be patient.

A sudden clarity hit Eren and he was flooded with confusion.

"We're going to go see your friend? Why?" He frowned deeply. They we're going to the hospital? He didn't know what he thought about that. Whenever Levi came back from a visit he was always sad and didn't drink anything. Eren found he could measure Levi's mood by what and how much he drank. When Levi was tired and frustrated he drank beer and a lot of it. When Levi had had a bad day he would drink gin and when he had to deal with his sister he would down Russian vodka.

But when he was sad he wouldn't drink anything at all.

"Yeah, we are. And you're going to be ridiculously well behaved" for the next half hour Levi continued to lecture Eren on exactly what he was to do and what he was not to do. By the time they pulled up to hospital Levi was characteristically silent and Eren was fidgeting nervously in his seat.

The stupid brat and the clean freak collapsed together onto their now shared sofa. Levi let out one of his rare and expressive sighs and almost immediately passed out onto Eren's shoulder. Eren had long gotten used to Levi 'a miraculous ability to fall asleep anywhere and in any position, alarmingly quickly. It was almost scary, but also kind of sweet. He was sure that it was because Levi could go three days without rest and then sleep on and off for a week. He had no sleeping patterns to speak of.

Eren almost blushed, but he didn't have the energy, instead he simply moved his arm around Levi and let his dead weight lean against him. Normally when this happened he would try and replace himself with a pillow, or maybe even carry him to his bed, but he was too ponderous to do either. He was still reeling from their visit to the hospital. From the wonderful and lovely and dying Miss Petra Ral. She was gorgeous and tiny and so very, very sweet. He referred to Levi as "Captain" or "sir" so Eren supposed she must of been in the military with him. There was a scary point in the visit when she started coughing and wouldn't stop. Levi had called a doctor and tried his best to soothe her. Eren had been surprised by his actions. He had been so calm and so careful and so… kind. He had just been kind.

On the ride home, nothing had filled the car, but silence and sadness. Just before they had left one of the doctors had pulled Levi aside, leaving Eren with Petra who had wanted to know everything, how they had met, what they thought of each other, so on and so forth. When Levi had returned had hadn't spoken a word. Opting only to kiss her forehead and tug Eren away. The teenager still had no idea what the doctor had said to Levi and he had no intention of asking. How could he possibly ask about Levi's dying comrade? He wanted nothing more than for Levi not to be so sad. It hurt him to see the beers in the fridge untouched. At least the next day was to be a Saturday and there would be no school for him and only a half day of work for Levi. Maybe they would do something, they could rent a movie and Levi could insult it. That always seemed to make him feel better and that was all Eren wanted, above all else.

"Ah" he sighed, knowing he had homework to do and also knowing he didn't even give a damn. "What you do to me, you'll never know" Levi didn't respond. He only continued to sleep soundly, like he hadn't a care in the world when everyone knew he did.

He waited for a little while, just peacefully thinking and debating and fighting inside his own head. His three alter egos violently battling it out.

Teenager Eren: get you're shit together, Eren. You're not gay.

Virgin Eren: but it's Levi and he's adorable and I want him.

Teenager: Not gay!

Virgin: come on, I thought we already accepted that we're gay.

Teenager: I haven't, keep your gay thoughts to yourself.

Virgin: but… Levi.

Teenager: no, hands off. You know what he said.

Virgin: but, he's so pretty!

Teenager: yeah, lots of pretty people in the world an you don't go throwing yourself at them.

Virgin: you know, I think you know we're gay and you just won't admit it. What do you think, Mikasa?

Mikasa: I think you're both idiots.

Eventually Eren gave up trying to reason with his alter egos, including for some reason his adopted sister which he had always thought was kind of creepy. He might of given up on them, but they're insistent arguing raged on.

Mikasa: why don't you just give up already? He's obviously not into us.

Virgin: he's totally in to us!

Teenager: why do we bloodily want him to be into us again?!

Virgin: because he's pretty and we want to get into his pants.

Teenager: not me!

Mikasa: you know, maybe we could just move back to-

Virgin/teenager: no!

Virgin: I like living here, close to Lee.

Teenager: we can't go back, I'd go insane and the imbecile next to me would go insaner.

Virgin: I'm right here, you know?

Teenager: I know.

Virgin: can't you just admit that we love Lee already? This is getting really old.

Teenager: no

Virgin: please

Teenager: I said no, dammit!

Virgin: but this is ridiculous. The sooner we admit it, the sooner we can get in his pants and you also want that, don't you?

The arguing stopped.

"Well, I suppose that means I'm fucked then, doesn't it?" Eren muttered to himself.

author's notes:

hello again, I can't wait until the next chapter, I have the best idea. All hail me, idea genius of my bedroom.

Much love,

Clementine