AN: I on't own anything! Hello it's me! Enjoy!

Normally, I don't update this fast, it's usually every ten days so I can better juggle my stories, but, I can't get this story outta my head. Oh, and, River and the Doctor are Lily and James, so mostly, that's what they'll be called. Plus, I have decided that this fic is one where I'm not so fond of Dumbledore. Sorry to those of you who like him, I really am. But hey, it's still worth reading, right?

Now, the Dursleys' comeuppance has begun! May the odds be never in their favor! But remember, it's only the beginning for them.

Question though: What do you guys think of Sirius/Remus, and Severus/OC? I NEED TO KNOW!

Though first, I have some replies for you:

little-bast: Oh Dobby is a very loyal elf, and he is loyal to Harry. All those who look at him wrong, BEWARE! MWUA HA HA HA HAAAAAA! But seriously, I'd be a terrible person if I didn't let Dobby have his fun, and I assure you, his boss will not be happy.

farawisa: I'll fix those eventually, Renegade's Oath, and eventually, they'll get a word in... if only at their trial.

InterdimensionalHitchhiker84 : I honestly think that like a Metamorphmagus, only the outward appearance changes, they're still the same inside. I also think that they can change their insides to match Lily and James' which essentially consists of stopping one heart, so yeah, that would hurt, wouldn't it?

Assassin Master Uzumaki : Yes, they did, and, I can assure you, the backlash will be... impressive.

To those who take the time to review, and especially those who review repeatedly, I love y'all! Y'all are amazing! I hug you all!

AAAAANNNNNDDDDD... If you can find the quote/reference, you can have an idea put into the story, or can help create Snape's OC. You know, whatever pleases you. You don't have to be first, just right. I'll start easy, but it will always be HP or DW related. I've never done it before, and thought it would be fun to see other people's ideas.

PREVIOUSLY:

"Look, I'll tell you guys later. Mom and Dad know about the DA, by the way. They know everything. But they're cool with it. We're having a meeting tonight, and they're going to Gringotts, to look at our accounts, before they take me tomorrow. We went, ugh, shopping," I give a horrified shudder, "at Mom's insistence, and then ,we tormented the Dursleys. Plus, Mom wants to plant a Boggart in the house."

"But that's really mean Harry, I know they weren't nice, but-"

"Hermione, I never told you how bad they were, but trust me, they deserve it. And more." She bit her lip and nodded. Umbridge tried to make some sort of speech, but kept getting cut off. First was the appearance of a replica of Hogwarts made from Exploding Snap cards that, well, blew. Then it was Peeves singing and doing loop-the-loops and throwing parchement. And it kept going like that until she gave up and dismissed us, storming from the Hall.

CH: 6

HPOV:

After dinner, Mom and Dad went down to set up the cottage, taking the vortex manipulator, having moved the TARDIS there earlier, just before dinner. Mom had taken it herself, dropping me and Dad off and reappearing a moment later with the telltale crackle, flash, smoke, and smell of the manipulator. I went up to the Room of Requirement immediately, to set up for the meeting. Mom and I had talked in one of the shops, and she said I should work on their aim, and gave me a few tips, since aim isn't usually taught (or even needed, as most of what they taught was on something so close you couldn't miss with your eyes shut) as movement took priority.

I set up a firing range like how'd she'd sketched it out, one for each pair, then waited for them to arrive. As I waited, I got bored, an wished I could listen to music. Seconds later, I had to jump back before I got flattened.

Curiously I approached it, and I saw... a laptop and speakers as big as me. 'I'm gonna need a sound-proof room', I thought. there was a dull glow, and I knew that it was now soundproof. I had quickly figured out that thoughts controlled the room, it acted to needs and desires, so no actual sound was needed, though you had to take care with idle thoughts. Which was why I'd set it to respond to me during the meetings, and not the others.

It wasn't that hard to figure out, I'm not as dumb as some people think, after all.

As I set up the music, I heard the soft chatter of people outside, and opened the door to see Ron and Hermione. Hermione immediately tackled me in a hug, nearly knocking me to the floor. "Harry! There you are!"

"'Mione, can't breathe," I gasped, and she immediately let go.

"Sorry Harry," she laughed, before stepping inside. We talked as I made a playlist for tonight, and everyone else trickled in. They all gathered around us, and waited for me to tell them what we were doing.

"Alright, well, honestly, I've discovered a worse problem than DADA. Aiming. See, if you can't hit the broadside of a barn, how are you supposed to fight effectively, spells or no? So, I set up a firing range, and we're going to work in pairs on your aim."

They immediately erupted into outraged babbling, talking over each other, and protesting my decision. I tried to quiet them, but it didn't work, so tried another tact. "Can you all just shut up a minute, because I. AM. TALKING!"

They all immediately fell silent, staring at me once again. "Alright then. Now, you lot decided to put me in charge, agreeing to listen to me, and do as I say. And I say that we need to work on our aim. So, we're working on our aim. Because knowing the spells isn't worth a darn when you can't cast a spell while moving, or in the dark, or anything else that could happen when dueling, and actually hit the target. The way things are currently, you'd as likely hit your friend as your enemy."

They stared at me a beat longer before they began breaking off into pairs. "Fred, George, Angelina, Alicia, Katie, c'mere, for a minute."

They obediently trotted over. They were the ones who worked with me last year for aim and such. Quidditch does that. "Look, you guys are excellent, and your aim is brilliant, so I'm going to ask you all to help the others. Just walk around, give them tips, correct them a little, like I usually do. Oh, and Fred, George? I don't want you two to be paired up more than half of any DA session. You two are unstoppable together, but you're not always going to be fighting side-by-side. I want you two to work both separately, and with other people."

They all saluted and moved off, the twins giving me a passing affirmative. I hit play and the music started blasting. I began my rounds.

R/LPOV:

Once we were at the cottage, we set to work. We had decided to do it all by hand, to surprise Harry, so when we put the place in a 'time bubble', allowing us to get all the painting done in one night. However, just as we were finishing our bedroom, I felt something splatter across my back. I whirled to face my husband, who gave me an innocent look. I didn't believe it for a second.

"Did you just fling paint on me?"

"Maaaaayyyyy-be!" He singsonged. I felt like slapping him. He then did the unforgivable. He did it again, and this time, because I didn't dodge in time, it got. in. my. hair.

Now it's war.

I calmly dipped my brush in my bucket of paint, and flicked it at him. It got all over his face, and his clothes. Luckily we'd worn old clothes, so it didn't really matter. He narrowed his eyes at me. I smiled sweetly back. Then we were both flinging paint, and smearing handfuls and brushfulls of the stuff on each other. We continued on like that for a good two hours, still managing to get the room done. We finally stopped our paint fight, and stepped back to admire our work.

We'd painted it a deep, metallic gold, that would catch the light. We removed the cottage from the 'time bubble' just as the sun started going down, and the setting sun caught the paint, and set the room on fire. Or, at least that's what it looked like. The light was being bounced around the room and the effect was breathtaking. I pressed myself into his side subconsciously, and he wrapped his arm around my shoulders, and I wound mine around his waist as we watched the sun go down through the big bay window.

We decided that we could move furniture in and paint Harry's room tomorrow, so he could decide what it looked like, so we agreed to flash back to the school, and see if he wanted to sleep on the TARDIS tonight. We landed right outside of the Room of Requirement, so we shrugged and walked in.

What I saw made me proud. My baby had them all working simple targets, like a firing range, and was walking around, helping hem out. And he was really good. I mean, I knew that already, but seeing it in person, instead of through a screen, it was whole different story. We stuck to the doorway, wanting to watch him, bursting with pride, and it wasn't until the meeting was over and kids had started leaving that he noticed us.

"Mom! Dad! What are you doing here?"

"Well, we were going to ask if you wanted to spend the night in the TARDIS, but then we saw this," I gestured around me, "and we decided to just watch instead." He blushed, and ducked his head.

D/JPOV:

Harry ducked his head, blushing, and mumbled something unintelligible. I smiled and ruffled his hair. He half-heartedly swatted my hand away as Ron and Hermione walked up. "Harry, we'll see you at breakfast, or lunch. Good night," Hermione said, hugging him tightly. He hugged her back, and I felt River elbow me. It was funny, but somehow it was automatic that if she looked like she had as Lily, I called her Lily, maybe because I was James at that moment. And when she was River, she was River. It didn't take much thought. Wait, rambling. Focus.

I looked over at her, and she winked, glancing almost imperceptibly over at Harry and Hermione, before grinning. I smiled back. I got the feeling they would end up more than friends as well. Ron said his good night as well, and Harry went with us to the Old Girl. He reeled a bit form the manipulator, but he was slowly acclimating to using it and bounced back quickly. It was late, but I didn't need to sleep. I knew River would need to, after last night, and Harry would definitely, but I had no need to, having slept deeply the night before.

Harry shyly asked if we wouldn't mind tucking him in, and we didn't hesitate to agree. "Why do you seem embarrassed Harry?"

"I'm too old for that kind of stuff. It's for babies," he muttered. I looked at River, and she nodded at me, silently stepping from the room, giving me this moment with my son. I knelt beside him. "Harry, I don't know why you think it's for babies. everyone likes it when someone who cares about them tucks them in."

"Really?" He looked up at me curiously. I nodded.

"Really. I mean, I love when your grandparents tuck me in when thy think I've gone too long with out sleeping. I love when your mother does it. You know why?" At his negative head shake, I continued, "because, they make sure I'm comfortable, and sometimes your mom sings to me. And that reminds me that I have people who care about me very much. And I know for a fact your mother loves when your grandparents or I tuck her in. It's the nature of all social beings to seek affection, comfort, and reassurance. So, no, it's not for babies. And I'm fairly certain that if you hadn't asked, your mom would've beaten me to the punch in asking if we could.

Because, not only does it offer comfort to the one receiving the affection, it gives comfort to the one offering it. It reassures them that they are needed, and loved, and that that person is right there with them, safe and sound. And you really wouldn't want your mom to feel unneeded, do you? It'd break her heart."

He looked at me for a moment, before shaking his head with a broad grin. "No, I wouldn't want that."

Sexy must've told her it was ok to come back in, because River stepped in and wrapped us in a tight hug. "Come on boys, I think it's bed time. And tomorrow Harry, it's just us three, a bank with a private room, and all the questions you want to ask."

He changed in the bathroom, and brushed his teeth and hair, before padding out barefoot, and perching on the bed. River immediately hugged him tight and kissed the top of his head, before getting him settled under the blankets. I hugged him, kissing his head as well, and tugged them up to his chin. River hummed softly and rubbed his back as I ran a hand through his hair. He fell asleep in no time. "I love you," we whispered together, easing off the bed, and flipping out the light.

Then I tucked my wife in, and kissed her forehead as she curled up on my chest. For the first time in a long while, I was content.

HPOV:

I woke to the sound of laughing, and sunlight streaming through my window. I opened my eyes reluctantly, and climbed out of bed, padding down the hall, to see Mom and Dad in the middle of a tickle fight in the console room. I giggled, and they froze, turning to me. I realized what was about to happen, and tried to escape, but they were too quick, and in no time, they had me pinned, and were tickling me mercilessly, until I was laughing too hard to breathe. They let me go then, and I caught my breath.

"Harry, go get dressed, we'll have breakfast at the school, then we'll go, ok?"

"Ok," I padded off, and emerged a few minutes later in a fresh pair of jeans and a soft t-shirt. I found a pair of Chucks, and slid them on over my mismatched socks. Dobby had finally gotten to me. I shrugged on a plain black robe I scrounged up. Mom and Dad wore pretty much the same thing, and we all flashed into the entry hall. I now expected them to sit with Professor McGonagall and Snape, so I headed over to Gryffindor to sit between Ron and Hermione.

Breakfast was a peaceful affair... until the mail came.

Suddenly the room practically exploded into whispers, as everyone stared or pointed at my parents or me. I snatched the Prophet from Hermione and scanned it quickly. The events from yesterday hadn't hit the Prophet yet, but Monday's had. Man, was it really only Monday, just to days ago that they'd come back? It felt like forever, and yet, no time at all.

The headline blared out: POTTERS REUNITED! BLACK INNOCENT?

Luckily, Rita couldn't write for them, but that didn't stop them from printing absolute garbage. They ranted on about whether or not Mom and Dad knew I was 'deranged and attention seeking' and that 'black had confounded me, and I must've done the same to them'. It was pathetic. The funniest line in the lot was: 'Harry Potter now has a family once more, and this reporter anticipates an end to his attention-seeking lies, such as ones proclaiming both the return of You-Know-Who and the innocence of Sirius Black, or, failing that, eagerly awaits his admittance to St. Mungo's for a cure to his obviously addled brains, and wishes a speedy recovery to poor Harry.'

It was so ridiculous I burst out laughing before I handed it back to Hermione. She shook her head fondly and folded it up neatly before doing what I'd taught her last night. She launched it up as high as she could and shot it with an 'Incendio', before sending a shield charm so it wouldn't hurt anything. Across the hall, those who believed me, ie, the DA, followed suit, and when Mom and Dad launched theirs, nearly the entire staff table did as well. All in all, breakfast was particularly cheery.

It was almost over when I saw an owl swoop in and give Mom a muggle paper. She took it, glanced over it while she paid, and snorted, before nudging Dad and giving it to him. he stifled a laugh with his hand and tucked it away.

After breakfast, we flashed back to Hogsmeade, then apparated to the Leaky Cauldron. I officially loved the manipulator, if it meant I never had to do that again. When I no longer felt like my breakfast was going to reappear, we entered the alley, then quickly headed to Gringotts. Mom and Dad once again looked like Lily and James, and people stopped and stared as we passed.

When we reached the front doors, they bowed to the goblins, and I followed suit, and they bowed back.

"May your gold outnumber the stars and your enemies tremble at your name," they said smoothly, completely in synch. The goblins replied in kind, and then we were immediately escorted to the manager. This time I exchanged the greeting as well, and the manager, Ragnor, smiled.

"Lord, Lady, and Heir Potter, I am pleased to meet you again. Come let us converse." Over two hours later, we had discovered that the Dursleys had been paid each month a considerable amount, Dumbledore had been stealing, and the wills had been sealed. They had also performed complete medical scans, saying that they wanted to ascertain that we were in good health. Dad was in good health, though the goblins marveled over his two hearts. Mom apparently had a depleted regeneration cycle, which she shrugged off. They were also missing a lot of memories. Dad's was minor compared to Mom.

She had large chunks of time missing, the largest was the majority of her life before her thirties. Apparently there was no Helping it. It wasn't like amnesia, they said, the memories simply weren't there, like they'd never formed.

My scan was different. It recorded all injuries I'd ever sustained, from the Dursleys, and from Hogwarts. By the time the scan finished, Mom was fingering her wand and gun, and Dad had his wand in his hand, and was fidgeting with his sonic. It recorded all manner of blocks and spells placed over final item on the list sent the entire room into an uproar, but I had no idea what was so bad. It said there was a horcrux in my scar.

Mom and Dad demanded that it be removed immediately, and the goblins only said that it would take a week to prepare the needed supplies.

"Mom, what's a horcrux?" I demanded. "It's dark magic Sweetheart. So dark, that it's almost never done. A horcrux is a piece of soul locked away in a container to give the maker immortality." She wrapped me in a hug.

"YOU MEAN THAT I HAVE A CHUNK OF HIS SOUL IN MY HEAD?!" She nodded and held me tighter, and suddenly I was clinging to her like my life depended on it, crying into her shoulder as Dad held us both to his chest. When I finally sat back, wiping a=my eyes, Mom handed me the muggle paper. "I think you could use a laugh," she said.

LORD AND LADY POTTER ALIVE!

Lord and Lady Potter, otherwise known as Lily and James Potter, were recently reunited with the sun who believed them to be dead for fourteen years. This son, one Harry James Potter, was stolen from his parents when they were attacked by the leader of a terrorist cult, and they were subsequently placed into comas and spirited out of the country. Upon awaking, their first priority was to get to their son.

What they found leaves us all heartbroken and sickened.

An innocent child, left on the doorstep of his mother's sister in the dead of night. a sister who Lily explicitly ordered never come into contact with her baby. Young Harry was a servant, and, from what we saw, we would speculate that he was no stranger to an angry hand either.

But young Harry got a fairytale ending when his parents whisked him away. They came to his school, which they have declined to name, and brought him home, though he will return in two weeks, but not before they stuck it to the Dursleys!

This reporter was appalled by the monsters of NUMBER 4, PRIVET DRIVE, IN LITTLE WHINGING...

It went on to describe the encounter, how I'd evicted them, interviews with the neighbors, and how Mom and Dad had totally kicked Vernon's butt. I was roaring with laughter by the end, which concluded:

This reporter can only stress that this couple is now under investigation. There is nothing worse than monsters who hurt children. Mr. and Mrs. Dursley of NUMBER 4, PRIVET DRIVE, IN LITTLE WHINGING, will surely get what's coming to them.

This was all topped off with a picture of purple faced Vernon swinging at Mom and me, beside one of Petunia swinging a frying pan, both sitting above one of Dudley in his uniform.

SMELTINGS:

"Hey Dudley, ain't this you and tour family?" Dudley looked up at the shout, and saw one of the upper classmen holding the Londen Times. He snatched it away and read through it as best he could, getting madder and more humiliated with each sentence he stumbled through.

GRUNNINGS:

A tall, well built man in a polo and blue jeans sat at his desk, reading his morning paper. Suddenly he got up from his seat and jerked open his door.

"Meena, I need you to get Dursley up to my office, ASAP, can you do that for me?"

"Sure thing, Boss." A well-dressed, dark haired woman picked up the phone and dialed Dursley's office.

AN: Hope you didn't hate it, your friendly neighborhood Renegade. - RebelUp