Sorry for the delay, but things have been very busy and I lost part of this chapter because I had hand written it.
John followed Mycroft out to the hall, closing the door behind him. "What do you want Mycroft?"
"You and my brother have an interesting relationship, Dr. Watson," Mycroft stated as he twirled his umbrella.
"Yes, and?" John asked Mycroft.
"He's changed since you two became flatmates. He stopped doing drugs completely, gave up smoking, actually began to show emotion... the list goes on. It pains me to have seen him give all that up during his 'death' and return like this." Mycroft shifts on his feet and looks around sighing.
"Did you come here just to tell me this, or do you actually have a reason why you want to talk to me?"
Mycroft pulls out an envelope from his coat pocket. "I wanted to give this to you. Sherlock gave this to me shortly after incident with the Woman, with instructions to give it to you when it seemed fit. I meant to give it you after his faked death, but some events occurred in some problematic countries that required my attention."
John rolled his eyes and took the letter. "I'll be sure to read it sometime Mycroft."
"I'd read it soon John," Mycroft stated before turning to leave. "Goodbye John."
John watched as Mycroft and looked down at the envelope again. He decided to open it. Inside he found two small pieces of paper with Sherlock's spidery, cursive writing on it. He began to read the long letter.
'To: John Watson,
I hope that you shall never see the contents of this letter. I have instructed Mycroft to hold onto this letter in case anything ever happens to me. If you are reading this, then I am sorry for any pain that I have caused you. I hope that this letter will bring you some comfort. I'm sorry for leaving you behind, but understand that I probably had no choice.
I'm sitting here in my room writing this letter on the day that you have informed me of the Woman's whereabouts. This whole confrontation with her has brought some things to light. For a while now, I have felt some form of attachment to you. Especially after the incident at the Pool with Moriarty. She told me something once, explaining my feelings for you. Before I tell you what she said, I want to tell you something. Even though I claim to be a sociopath, I am not. I am capable of feeling emotions, but I choose to ignore them in order to further the Work and finish it faster. Emotions have always slowed me down. Until now.
She told me that I feel sentiment towards you. Not to say in the least, she is completely correct. John Hamish Watson, I love you. Everything about you fascinates me. From your fascination with jumpers, to your worries about my eating and sleeping habits, to your attempts at cooking. I sit here sometimes and wonder why you are still living here with me, how you still deal with me. You always complain about the things I do, yet you never leave. At least, not for very long. You continue to live with me and help me solve cases.
Of all people, John you are the only one who I have lost the ability to deduce properly. I can deduce small things such as what you ate, or who you went out with, or what kind of razor you used that morning, but I can't deduce your feelings or thoughts on things. It fascinates and scares me that this is happening. I have never faced anything like this before. These emotions are new to me. I always want to see you happy, I worry about your safety, I want you near me all the time, and most of all, I never want you to leave me. The Woman told me that this is what love feels like.
I know that I probably will never tell you that I love you, so this letter will be my confession. I really hope that you never have to read this letter because a) I know that you could never reciprocate my feelings and b) this means that I had to leave you. I want you to promise me that you will always remember me and that you will look after Mrs. Hudson for me.
Forever yours,
Sherlock Holmes'
Sherlock could hear strangled sobs coming from the hallway and detached himself from all of the medical equipment. He walked outside the door and found John sitting on the ground, the letter in his hands, sobbing. Sherlock sat down next to him and awkwardly wrapped his arms around John's shaking frame. "John."
John could feel Sherlock's arms around him and leaned against him. "Mycroft just gave me your letter. Why did you never tell me this before?"
"Because I was scared of you leaving if you found out about my feelings."
John chuckled softly, "I was scared that you didn't feel the same because you always said that you were married to your work."
Sherlock pulled away a bit and stared at John. "What do you mean John?"
"The reason why you found me crying, even though you should be in bed, is because I feel the same for you Sherlock. I have for quite sometime. I thought that I had lost my chance to tell you when you jumped. When you came back and told me that you lied to save my life, I was angry. I felt betrayed. But I was mad at myself as well. I had visited your grave many times and pleaded for you to come back so I could tell you how I felt and the whole time you were alive off fighting to save my life," John replied, looking down at the floor as he wiped away his tears.
Sherlock stared at John in shock. He never expected this from John whose mantra had been 'I'm not gay.' "John..."
"Oh, shut up bugger." John lifted a hand to the back of Sherlock's neck and pulled him down into a soft kiss. Sherlock froze at first before relaxing into the kiss and kissing John back with a smile, making a small noise of complaint when John pulled away.
"Sherlock Holmes, I love you, but if you ever pull a stunt like faking your own death or doing drugs again- I will kill you myself." Both John and Sherlock burst into laughter, only to hear Thomas cough at them.
"I do believe that Mr. Holmes should be in his bed and not sitting on the floor." The men stared at each other before getting up and walking back into the hospital room. Sherlock sat down on the bed and Thomas examined him. "Sherlock, you do seem fit enough to leave now. I will go and tell them to have the release forms ready. Please do refrain from doing anymore reckless things. John, this is my card, just in case you need my help for any reason."
John took the card that Thomas held out for him and smiled. "It was nice to meet you Dr. Fields."
Thomas left and John turned to Sherlock. "Lets go home Sherlock."
"Home? Does this mean you're coming back to 221B?" Sherlock asked hopeful.
John grabbed Sherlock's hand and smiled. "Yes it does."
Whew, busy chapter with those confessions. Anyways, the next chapter will feature Cas and more of Sherlock's story as an Angel of the Lord. But be patient because I have two tech weeks and finals coming up.