Chapter 6
Brittany's POV
The next few days pass quickly and suddenly it is Saturday night again. I haven't spoken to or seen Santana since the other night but I heard through the grapevine that she is apparently attending a party held by some cheerleaders tonight. I guess if she is going to a party, there will be drinking and she will drink which means, she definitely has got rid of my baby. I must have been stupid to think that I could trust her. I always thought people misjudged Santana's character but in reality I think it was me who misjudged her.
I am pulled out of my thought when there is a knock on the door. "Come in" I shout and my dad walks in.
"Hey, sweetheart" he says.
"Hi" I reply.
"Why are you so sad?" he asks. "You've been like this for the last couple of days."
I nod, fearful that if I actually speak I will end up crying again and to be honest I am sick of crying. I don't know how I didn't see this coming, it was all far too good to be true. Why would the most popular girl in school keep my baby after I got her pregnant? I knew Santana was never my biggest fan but I never thought she would do this to me.
"Brittany, honey" I hear my dad say. I actually forgot he was here. "Are you ok?" he asks and as soon as I look at my dad, I burst out crying. He just wraps me up in a hug and kisses my temple. "Whatever it is, you can tell me darling."
I take a deep breath "It's Santana."
My dad sighs as well "What has she done now?" he asks. "I always knew that girl was trouble."
"She wants to….actually she is, going to kill the baby" I say and my dad frowns.
"I'm sorry, I'm not sure I heard you correct" he says.
"I mean, she is going to have an abortion" I say, letting a few tears slip down my cheeks. "She says she doesn't want to be pregnant anymore, she says she can't do it anymore and it doesn't matter what I think, she's doing it anyway" I rush out in a haste and my dad just squeezes my hand.
"Take a breath sweetheart" he says so I take a deep breath.
"She wants an abortion because she says she can't cope anymore" I say and my dad nods slowly.
"Ok, are you sure she is definitely going through with it?" he asks and I nod. "She may have just said it in a moment of panic."
"She meant it dad" I say hugging into my dad's chest. "I tried to persuade her not to but she had her mind set."
"Did she give you a reason as to why she couldn't cope?" I shake my head. "She's a young girl and I am not disputing that this is a big thing for you too but remember Santana has the added pressure of having to carrying the child."
"I know that dad" I say.
"Santana is different from some other girls your age Brittany, she doesn't exactly have the normal teenage lifestyle" my dad says.
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"Pregnancy is a huge deal in general but for Santana it must be extra hard" he says and I listen. "She's a young girl who unexpectedly got pregnant and she doesn't have her parents there to help her through it and on top of it all she has the responsibility of the welfare of her younger siblings." I look at my dad. "Brittany she's clearly extremely scared so what I think you should do is talk to her."
"Dad, I've done nothing but talk to her but she won't listen to me" I say, getting annoyed.
"Make her listen then, let her know that you are there for her" he says. "Be her friend, even if she doesn't want you to be."
I nod, I guess it would be a good idea to go and speak to her again. "I will go and see her" I say. "If she has already got rid of my baby then I will never forgive her, ever."
"She won't have got rid of it, it's too soon" he says and I guess it is, it was only a couple of nights ago. "Doctors will not be able to approve the abortion until they have went through the whole procedure with her and she has spoken to at least two doctors."
"Do you think I should go to see her just now or wait until school on Monday?" I ask my dad because I don't know if it would be better to do it soon before she makes a decision or whether to give her some time.
"That's up to you sweetheart" my dad says before hugging me and then leaving the room. I don't know what to do, I don't want Santana to think that I am pressuring her by going to see her tonight but I also really want this baby so I feel like I need to speak to her as quickly as possible before it is too late.
I knock on the front door and a woman, who looks exactly like Santana but a tiny bit older opens the door. "Can I help you?" she asks. I am presuming it is Santana's older sister Jade.
"I am looking for Santana" I say. "My names Brittany, Santana and I are fri….., we know each other" I say, after the other day I doubt we are friends.
"Brittany?" the woman says before she smiles. "Oh…that Brittany" she says smirking. Why is she smirking at me? "I'm Jade, Santana's sister, Santana's in her room, you can go up" she says and I nod. When I walk inside I suddenly remember I have no idea where Santana's room actually is since I haven't been here since that day and even then I didn't pay much attention to my surroundings. Jade obviously senses this since she lets out a small laughs before pointing and saying "Second floor, 3rd door on the left, up those stairs over there."
"Thanks" I say.
"No trouble, oh and Brittany..?"
"Yeah?" I reply to Jade.
"Make sure Santana's bedroom door is left open, I know what you two girls are capable of getting up to when alone" Jade says smiling before walking off. I seriously thought she would hate me for getting her sister pregnant.
I walk up the stairs and when I find Santana's bedroom, the door is closed so I give it a gentle but loud knock. "Who is it?" I hear Santana shout quietly.
"Brittany Pierce" I say, loudly enough for Santana to hear through the door. After a few seconds the door swings open.
"I only know one Brittany so the Pierce wasn't needed, Brittany would have sufficed" Santana says in an even tone before gesturing for me to enter the room, so I do. She walks in after me and closes the door.
"You have to leave the door open" I say and Santana looks at me weird. "Jade said" I say.
"Its not Jade's decision" Santana says before shutting the door. "Take a seat wherever you like, I am presuming you are here for a reason."
"Yes, I want to talk to you" I say sitting down on the bed. As soon as I sit down the memories of being in this bed before, come flooding back to me. I can't remember arriving at Santana's house that night but I sure as hell remember the feeling I got when I woke up alone in this very bed.
"Yo, daydreamer" I hear. "Where you at?" she says. "I am talking to you and you are blatantly ignoring me while weirdly stroking my duvet cover" Santana says screwing her face up.
"Sorry, your bed….I eh…I remember when I stayed here and I…..liked your silk cover" I say pathetically, why on earth am I rambling like an idiot?
"I don't think it was just the bed cover you were taken with that night, secretly I think it was the person between the sheets as well" she says smirking at me then winking.
"Regardless, this is not what I am here to talk about" I say with a serious tone overtaking my voice. "I want to talk about the other day" I say.
"What about? The miniature bomb that you had a crush on me" Santana says smiling. "I'm gorgeous, I get it" she finishes.
"I'm glad you can make a big joke about things but unfortunately I do not see the funny side" I say calmly, albeit slightly angry.
"Lighten up nerd" she says.
"Lighten up?" I say disbelievingly. "You want to abort my child, I say 'want to' presuming that you already haven't done so."
"I'm still knocked up" she says. I can't quite figure out her tone.
"I understand how selfish I am being" I say. "What I am asking you to do is a big deal and I know that" Santana sits on the bed next to me. "What upset me the most was that you were actually going to go through with it and suddenly changed your mind" I tell her. "If when we first found out you decide you wanted to go through with the termination, I would have been sad but I would have gotten over it." I say truthfully. "But you gave me hope that I was going to become a mom and now you want to take it away from me so harshly."
"It isn't easy for me, either way you know" she says. "Going through with this pregnancy scares the shit out of me but believe it or not I don't actually want to hurt you" Santana places her hand on mine. "I know you are going to be an excellent mom and if I wasn't so scared I would do this for you in a heartbeat."
"What scares you the most?" I ask.
"The baby in the end doesn't scare me but the pregnancy does" she says and I realise now that I don't actually know how she feels because I don't have to endure the pregnancy. "There are so many negative statistics as well, about how babies born to teenage parents grow up to less intelligent or how there are more complications in a teenage pregnancy than there are in an older pregnancy."
"Like what? They are just statistical values, it doesn't mean they are true" I say.
"Brittany, in teenage pregnancies the baby is at a higher risk to infant mortality" she says sighing. "What if I carry this baby for you and then he/she suffers from a serious medical condition or worse, what if it dies?" Santana asks.
"That won't happen" I say, trying to think positive.
"But it could though" she says. "I don't want to put either one of us through that."
"There are risks in every pregnancy but as long as we do everything by the book then there will be a brilliant chance that things will go as they should" I say. "No matter what, if you choose to keep the baby then I promise I will be there every step of the way" I assure Santana. "I will be at every scan, I will be on the end of a phone if you need me and I will come to you when you want me there."
"Brittany, I know you will do all of those things, you're a good person" Santana says. "The things that scare me are the things you can't help me with" she says. I will help her with anything.
"I will help you with everything and anything" I tell Santana.
"I know but you can't help with what the pregnancy will do to me" she says and I am a little confused. "My life is going to change dramatically, my body's going to change, my emotions are going to be up and down, I will cry at stupid things and I will get frustrated, my daily routine will change" she says. "I am going to have to adapt to looking after not only myself but a baby too."
"You've got me though, I will be there for you" I say, trying to reassure her.
"The hardest part will be knowing that I am going through this pregnancy and I won't have a baby in the end" she says. "I can't love this baby because it won't be mine" Santana starts crying. "The baby will be able to tell I don't love it" Santana says sniffing. "Can you imagine what it would feel like knowing you were never wanted or loved by the person who is solely responsible for you for nine months?"
I pull Santana close to me and hug her "Ssh, its ok" I comfort her. I realise now that we are not talking about the baby anymore, we are talking about Santana, she feels like her mother doesn't love her and clearly it has impacted her more than I knew.
"The innocent baby will be loved by you but it will still know I resented it, babies are smarter than you think, they sense these things" Santana says.
"There is absolutely no reason why you can't be a mother to this baby too" I say. "I know we are not together but we could both still bring the baby up, we would make it work somehow" I finish.
"Brittany, to reiterate, I cannot keep this baby. If I don't abort it then it will be yours and yours only" she says.
"Why can't you keep it though?" I ask. "I know it is not ideal when we are in high school but you wouldn't be doing it alone, I will help and so will my parents" I say. I must have said the wrong thing because Santana is suddenly crying again.
"It doesn't matter about that" she says tearfully. "I can't keep this baby because I can't afford to."
"You can't afford to?" I question. "You are not seriously saying you can't keep the baby because it will harm your reputation at school" I say, I really hope it isn't that.
"I am not that nasty Brittany, I know I have done some bad things in my time but I ain't that bad" she says. "I meant I can't afford to as in financially, I don't have enough money to pay for food and clothes for my siblings at times never mind adding a baby on" she says. "The baby will need clothes, food, diapers, a crib, a stroller, more clothes since babies grow out of them quick, a high chair, toys and whatever else I do not come close to be able to buy."
"Santana, I will pay for it. I will pay for everything if I have to" I say.
"Brittany, I couldn't make you do that. If I want to be a mom then I need to be able to provide for my kid and I won't be able to do that until way after high school" Santana says. "I love my siblings to pieces but they're hard work" Santana sighs out. "When my older brother and sister go out to work to actually bring in a wage for us all to survive on, I am the next oldest so I am responsible for looking after the younger ones and it's a hard task. To add a baby into the equation would make things worse."
"Would your parents consider coming back if you told them how bad it was?" I ask.
"I doubt it" she answers. "And to be honest I wouldn't want to ask them, my youngest brother and sister are three and every time my parents come back and then leave again hurts them even more and I am left to pick up the pieces" Santana tells me. "It not only breaks my heart for me but for them too, my siblings are all I've got so I have to make them my priority."
"I understand and I know it is hard for you but I really feel like I need this baby in my life" I say honestly. "Can you at least think about not aborting, for me?" I ask Santana, I know it is selfish but I got so attached to the feeling of having a bay that I don't want to give it up.