[Week 6: Family, "Just Fine"]

It's often said that the hospitals' rooms are painted in white so it'd give people a small sensation of peace. Haruka's definitely heard that several times, but he still disagrees with that concept. He knew it was because of his own experiences, of having nothing but white rooms to look at for a large amount of time. To him, white is bad. He can't stand the white rooms, the white beds, the white gowns.

Right now, he doesn't know what to think about it. It isn't normal for him to be the one sitting in the waiting room, so all he can do is worry. Although, even if it was normal, he knew he'd be worrying, anyway. How couldn't he, knowing his wife was somewhere in that building?

They couldn't let him go with her, rebutting over and over that this was an emergency. If it was an emergency, there are even more reasons for him to go with her!

But that didn't seem to matter. Rarely, Takane handled it pretty well and kept calm, considering how she usually is. Despite her own state, she's managed to smile at him, repeating that it'd be okay. That was the only way he could stay back, left to watch them walk away, pushing the stretcher she was on.

That's why it was so frustrating to not be by her side. Not only because this whole situation was a mess itself, but because they're used to take care of each other; balance each other out. Separated, nothing works, and all Haruka can do is hope for Takane to be handling it better than he was, especially since she was the one carrying it all, and now there was a probable high possibility for something to go wrong.

He didn't want to forget anymore, that's one of the things he thinks the most, but he wouldn't mind at all forgetting the blood on the floor and her clothes, or her dry voice telling him to call an ambulance. No, that's something he wants to get out of his head, despite being aware that it'd stay there forever, to pop up in some moment of the future in which he'd be most likely trying to sleep.

"Kokonose," he hears his own family name, but he takes a few seconds to finally react. All at once, Haruka jumps off of one of the waiting chairs, and his phone buzzes. Knowing far too well it was Shintaro or Ayano saying something like they're on their way, he doesn't bother to see the message.

More importantly, he approaches to the middle-aged woman that seemed to be the nurse, smiling as if there were no worries on the world. He found it pretty immature from himself, but he thought her smile was as fake and rigid as the nurses' that used to tell him "good morning" when he used to get hospitalized.

"How– how is it?" he clears his throat after speaking, noticing how shrilly his voice sounded. She seems a little thoughtful for a moment, as if trying to remember what she had to say. Until a low "oh!" comes out of her mouth and makes him jump a little.

"She's out of danger," she smiles, and he doesn't even care if it was a fake smile or not. Letting out a huge sigh of relief, Haruka places a hand on the left side of his chest, feeling his own heartbeat getting a normal pace again.

"Ah, did she say something?" he felt the inane urge of speaking to Takane, he insanely wanted her to tell him herself she's fine. The nurse just raises an eyebrow, looking at him rather confused.

"Sorry?"

"...My wife, did she say something?" he asks again, also confused at the answer. As soon as she heard him though, she smiles again, actually letting out a small giggle, but Haruka couldn't see what would be funny.

"Ah, I was talking about your daughter!" she's quick to say, waving one of her hands on the air. Nonplussed, he manages to offer her a small smile, slowly leaning his head to the side, almost convinced to ask her to say it again, since he's not sure if he's heard her right. "We still don't know about your wife, she's asleep. She passed out right after giving birth... but don't worry! She did great job, she handled it all very well! She's such a strong lady!"

"Yeah... yes, she is," he answers, deciding to go along instead of asking something else. The slight relief is still in him, so that helps him out. "Could I, uh– could I see her?"

"Who? Your daughter or your wife?" she just keeps saying daughter and he doesn't know what face he should make. Any normal person would smile after knowing their child's born, but he can only worry, because this wasn't supposed to happen yet. Theirs is here earlier, they hadn't even decided a name for her.

"My... my daughter?" it sounds as a question, but the nurse comfortably takes that as an answer and quickly starts walking, not without gesturing to him to follow her before. Actually, he asked to see Takane, but if his mouth said what it wanted. It felt weird to say something like that, because even if they were preparing themselves to have a kid, he still wasn't prepared. So the logistic of calling someone his child weren't thought through yet.

And that is why now, only having with him impotent concern instead of Takane, he was gazing down at an incubator. She was eight weeks early, and all he can think of to make himself feel better is that she wanted to meet them already.

Perhaps, she's impatient. Just like Takane is.

The sight of all the medical equipment attached to her can only bring him to feel his heart squeeze inside him, remembering when the cannulas were under his own nose or when he wanted to fall asleep already so he'd stop hearing the maddening beep that the echocardiograph was making next to him. All of those things that finally stayed in the past, all those tragedies that he wouldn't forget but that wouldn't happen again. What if it hadn't ended? What if he ended up cursing someone else into an isolated life? What if she had to go on living each passing day taking medication when waking up and before falling asleep? What if she ends up spending more time at the hospital than home? What if she becomes distant? What if she ends up being lonely, just like he did?

"Don't you worry, she's perfectly healthy," it sounds like a whisper, but he's surprised to know the nurse was talking to him, gazing up to him with some pitiful expression. "She just needs to get a bit stronger, that's all. And if she turns out to be like her mother, that'd be in no time!"

Haruka can only snicker, wiping his tears away with his sleeve. If she didn't talk, he wouldn't have noticed he was crying, actually. But it relieved him to hear the word healthy, and looking down to his child once again, he felt something in his stomach stir, suddenly realizing that with no doubts, everything will be fine. So he smiles, even if she looked fragile and incredibly tiny.

He hears the nurse walk away a few seconds later, and he can only mentally apologize to her for calling her smile fake. Not because she's related to a hospital it means something bad. He just has bad experiences, that's all. His eyes are still letting out tears, but he doesn't mind them. He's not one to cry, so when he does, he's painfully aware of that he won't be stopping anytime soon. It's okay, after all, it's necessary to get it all out somehow.

So he only leans in, a big smile placed on his face, almost feeling little stars floating around himself when he sees her move just a little. Haruka opens his mouth, hesitant, but he talks in a quiet whisper.

"Don't worry, we'll definitely make sure to make you happy."

"How are you feeling?"

"Like I'd throw up my brain."

He laughs, but Takane's presumably not in the mood to laugh along. His lady, as eloquent as ever. Isn't she the prettiest, even with her hair messier than ever and those eyes looking at him as if she'd actually get up from the hospital bed to punch him?

"What about you, though?" she asks, running a hand through her bangs to get it out of her face, only for it to get tangled.

"I wasn't so pleasent to wait by myself," Haruka awkwardly rubs the back of his neck, not really wanting to say much since he knows she's had it harder. "It wasn't that nice to have a nurse suddenly telling me that I'm a dad now."

"Yeah, wasn't that nice to have a doctor telling me I'd be giving birth either," he laughs again after hearing her, but this time, Takane let out a little giggle herself. Haruka closes his eyes, smiling, glad at having her here with him, and when he opens them again, she tightens the hold of his hand. "Ah... you know, through all of it... Despite how much it all sucked, all I could think of was that I wanted you to be next to me."

When Takane says that, he sees how tired she is. Like she'd fall asleep any second now, so all Haruka can bring himself to do is stand up from the chair typically settled next to the bed, wrapping his arms around her tiny figure, not listening to her sudden complaints.

"Haruka–" her protests sound muffled as she's talking against his shoulder. He's expecting her to hug him back, and all she does is whine for him to let go of her. She just keeps saying she's not in the mood, that she's tired, the same excuses she always uses, even if this time were actually true. Of course he just doesn't want to let go, and he knows far too well Takane didn't want him to, either. So he just keeps declaring his love for her out loud, completely and purposely ignoring her embarrassed voice telling him to quit it already.

It took a few minutes, but she stopped fighting, finally giving in. Takane hesitantly hugging him back since he wasn't letting go anytime soon, and speaks up with a normal tone of voice.

"Haruka," he calls out for him again, softly this time, so he's quick to make a sound in between lips as an answer. "I have to ask you for... a favor."

"Yeah, anything!" he says, breaking apart the hug just a little so he can see her face. She's smiling, that's a good thing, although there was a hint of embarrassment in her features.

"Well, I haven't seen her yet," at first she sounds a little down, even looking away, but her smile firmly stays on her face. "So could you... describe her to me?"

So Haruka's grin immediately grows.

"Yes! Of course!"