Down below is my first attempt at this chapter, followed by my attempt to fix everything. I can't figure out how to put everything back into place, so I'll just make an ask blog.
All my stories were written as I came up with them. I have some bits DEFINITELY planned, but others, I'm flailing for a foot hold. I've got the skeleton's background, how Kurama comes into play, and how some characters will be [Read: one], but for the most part, I'm stuck. I work best when confronted with a question, and given a suggestion to get my imagination and mind rolling.
Now that's out of the way, here we go.
[Me criticizing myself]
Oh, and just skip to the end of this chapter if you want to get it over with.
~~~~(v Below is where I tried to fix the story. v)~~~~
Hi. As you can see, I'm re-writing ATTK & DEF: 2 Halves of a Whole. Why?
Because I wrote myself into a bottomless pit.
It's not that hopeless, but I can't plan for s***. So, I don't know how to really continue. I've got some bits, such as a transformation I REALLY want to write in, and how some encounters will go over. (Read: Every Boss monster) Other than that? Nothing. Zip. Zilch. Nada. As such, before writing this version out, I'm going to actually plan before I create the more detailed story. Along with that, I'm going to get some help from some of my friends. Why? I noticed that I tend to force out every detail I've got figured out into the story. Example? The whole 'dimensional rift' and the dimensions matching up in time and space biz.
You don't really look into some imaginary camera or think of huge moments in your backstory, some of which you shouldn't even really know, at random times. At least, I don't think you do.
I think I 'said' too much, since my point was fairly simple and I drew it out so much. *sweatdrop*
Anywho, here's my original draft of the next chapter, followed by my own way of yanking this train wreck back onto the track, glossing the wheels in the meantime. [I have no idea what I was trying to say there]
~~~~ oooh boy, here we go ~~~~ [oh, like you were any better] ~~~~
This chapter is not going to move to Sans, and will stay with Naruto, Frisk, Flowey, and Toriel in the Ruins.
One other thing. Actually, three. Which will be at the end of the chapter, since it's A LOT. By a lot, I mean it's me actually being polite and not antisocial by finally replying to the reviews I got.
Oh, and if I get a character 'wrong', or at least, they don't follow the main head canon personality, it's either because I portray them differently, I'm making them act a certain way for the plot, I'm having them act based on how others make them out to be, or because I know jack s*** about their given personality. For example, the skele-bros are based off of how others portray them, and the puzzle cube scene is mostly from a comic I saw. Unfortunately, I don't know who made the comic, and I forget the user that portrayed Sans the way I'm trying to. BUT I'm trying to have UF Papyrus act the way on Instagram has him act. Even though I can be pretty rude (read: very), it's harder to force it. A lot harder.
ON TO THE STORY.
Oh, and text guide.
Naruto signing Frisk signing "Regular speaking" "Naruto speaking" 'Thinking to self' "Naruto's 'sister' speaking"[I keep confusing myself]
A&D:2HW Ch 6 -
The three stood in place, frozen with fear as the bloodshot eyes of Toriel looked them over. Naruto and Frisk could see what Flowey meant by her being insane. She played the part very well.
Her fur was matted, and her regal-looking robes torn. Her yellowed eyes were wide, bagged, and accompanied with an unsettling smile that gave her a desperate look. Her long ears hung limp on her shoulders, and, to their discomfort, she kept flexing her clawed fingers.
"Hello, children."
The two humans flinched almost unnoticeably at the sound of the shaky, yet motherly tone of the monster's voice. (Frisk was pretty sure they heard Flowey whimper) Despite his slowly growing fear, Naruto's hands shakily signed.
That doesn't sound creepy at all.
Frisk let out a tiny laugh, the comment having calmed her down just a bit, and Toriel's grin shrunk a slight bit. She didn't know what the movements of Naruto's hands meant, but they were vaguely familiar…
She shook it off (although, it looked more like a small spasm of the head to the two humans and talking plant), and grinned wider. She quickly strode forward, and grasped Frisk and Naruto by the wrists.
Unprepared for the sudden hold, the two could do nothing as the caretaker of the ruins brought them along to the next room.
The entire floor was covered in spikes. Wait, no. Scratch that. The floor WAS spikes. A ridiculous amount of large, shining, and very pointy spikes. The only place without spikes was right against the walls, where trenches of water resided. Considering the fact that Naruto and Frisk didn't know what could be in the waters, attempting to wade through it was a no-no. Plus, Toriel was still holding their wrists tightly.
And then the bipedal goat started walking towards the spikes.
Naruto tried digging his heels into the floor, and Frisk…was… calmly walking behind Toriel.
'You're kidding me!'
"Unfortunately, they're not kidding. They are truly calm about the situation."
'And where have you been?'
"…"
'…you were asleep, weren't you.'
"…maybe."
The blond sighed audibly, earning a questioning glance from Flowey, before reluctantly following the tall monster's lead. Something about how Frisk acted was strange.
The entire time they had been here, Frisk had done what was needed to pass the puzzles without pausing or second-guessing themselves.
[1]
'Okay,' Naruto thought. 'I'm done. Completely done. Screw the Underground. Screw it all. Screw this world, and it's f***ing monsters. F*** it. I'm singing what little remains of my sanity away.'
"N-naruto no!"
'Naruto yes! I'm here in the Underground apparently, and I might go crazy with all this random crap I've witnessed thus far! You will hear my amazing singing and you will like it!'
"It's not your singing I fear, it's the d*mn song you keep singing on repeat."
'And just what is wrong with my song!?'
"…pink…fluffy unicorns…dancing on rainbows. …are you sure that you weren't on a sugar rush when you came up with that thing?"
'True, it's pretty bad.'
"Oh, thank Ka-"
'Orange is a better color than pink, and maybe the 'fluffy' can be 'spiky'! Oh! And they should be eating Top Ramen! And I'll keep the unicorns!'
"…you have GOT to be-"
'ORANGE SPIKY UNICORNS EATING TOP RAMEN! ORANGE SPIKY UNICORNS EATING TOP RAMEN! ORA-'
"FOR THE LOVE OF KAMI STOP BEFORE I RIP MY EARS OFF!"
'FEEL MY MENTAL PAIN!'
"WHY?!'
'BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON I'M IN THIS WORLD THAT MAKES NO SENSE IN THE FIRST PLACE!'
[…yeah, i don't know XD]
Let's back up a bit. After leading them through the spike puzzle, Toriel had made Naruto, Frisk, and Flowey cross a massive hall that had pretty much no point whatsoever in a test for 'independence'. After maybe a minute of constant walking (the three could swear they heard some sort of serious music in the backs of their minds, but who knows), they reached the end.
Nothing was there, except for a painfully obvious pillar against the wall. Naruto had paused, looking at the column of marble suspiciously while Frisk continued on unwaveringly. Naruto had hesitantly followed. When they arrived to be in front of the pillar, Toriel had walked out from behind it, and told them how the whole thing was supposed to be a test on independence.
She then decided it was a good idea to leave them alone as she went to do something. Well, at lease she gave them a cell phone so they could keep in touch. Although, it was more like a telephone with a much bigger battery life.
Not even a minute after she left, the three had made to leave the room.
As soon as they walked into the next room, Toriel had called, and had asked if they left the room. Without giving them a chance to reply, (which they couldn't do in the first place, due to the humans being mute) she told them that the puzzles and inhabitants of the ruins being too dangerous to encounter alone.
Naruto blinked at the receiver as Toriel hung up the other end. Does she not know that we don't talk?
She probably assumes we just don't want to.
… [well, since Frisk could laugh, I guess that makes them both voluntary mutes…great idea, me. Say Frisk is mute, and have them be more of a voluntary mute.]
How are we going to talk to her then?
I don't know.
"If I may," Flowey said. "I can…say what you two are signing. I'll be like a sort of translator for you."
Are you sure?
"Yeah. I've been around for a while. I know just about all the languages. But- uhm…I gotta ask you two something. Ever heard of speech boxes?"
When the two humans of the trio shook their heads, Flowey sighed. [2]
[because of the narrator character studies I've read, scratch speech boxes. …maybe. MORE IDEAS, CRUD]
Small explanations for some things that may be confusing.
[1] Frisk has done a LOT of runs. As such, they know how to handle things. Naruto hasn't been there for any of them until now. This is the very first run that he's on. (And a lot changes due to this. Naruto is VERY unpredictable, and his mere presence is like the first in a big chain reaction. To clarify, Papyrus' dream was just one of possibly many changes.)
[2] While Frisk has been through so many resets, they never got this explanation. They know of the speech boxes, but it's never really been explained. The only reason why Flowey brought it up in this reset specifically is another result of Naruto being there.
First up, KorinaDragonClaw. Thanks for bringing up the sign language problem. Sorry for not typing that up earlier XD. Hope the new format is easier to follow.
Celeste-Ominous, thanks for your advice! In the first chapter, just to clear it up, doesn't really take a viewpoint where the 'viewer' could get all the emotions and thoughts going through the skeletons' minds. Papyrus was having a dream, brought to him by somebody currently unknown. The events of the dream, while having been memory, happened a long time ago. Papyrus was only a babybones at the time, maybe 6 years old. Young, yes, and at the time I'm having Sans still be the big brother, being maybe 6 or 7 years older. Now, Sans is maybe 24 or 25, leaving Papyrus at 18 years. Add all those years with the 'fact' that the third 'mystery' monster was 'erased' from existence, including 'all' memories of him, makes Papyrus' memories of that time blurred at best. Plus, our dream giver can only do so much. Having to feel the full emotions of two, maybe three monsters at once is too much.
A.K.A., the excuse I have for my not very good writing skills/poor planning abilities XD. Hey, at least it sounds very possible! Yeah, in reality, I didn't think that scene through. All it was for was a simple, obscure background. Something that would make people question what was really happening. I probably ruined that for readers in the second chapter tho. *sweatdrop* And while I just came up with the ages of Sans and Papyrus, I haven't done so for the others.
To make the time difference make sense (because 10 years exactly doesn't make a 6 year old 18), I'm making the correlation be 6 years in (my vers. of) the Underfell universe for every 5 in the Naruto-verse. I still don't really know the assumed time period of the Naruto verse. I don't think it's very necessary that I do, but *shrug*. And by 'time period', I mean how long the Tailed Beasts have existed. I used to be a diehard Naruto fan, but not to the point that I knew every little detail, and, to me, Naruto ended with the fourth war and the little epilogue. I am NOT going to factor in any more drama than I can handle….hopefully.
Finally, all I know about food headcanons for Underfell is that UF Sans loves mustard like UT Sans does ketchup.
And then, guest 'SabreCommander'! Thanks for your tips! I'll try my best to implement them, but I'm still fairly new to writing. My first two stories are cringeworthy at best, and while it's been a few months, I can only improve so much. My stories are mainly plot bunnies that popped into existence, like the thought of how reincarnation could effect Ben in my other In Progress story. I just chose to have Naruto be the one reincarnated. Any plot holes I have are filled in as best as I can with more ideas that come to mind. (and damn, you gotta get an account and write stuff, that was awesome.)
Anyways, thanks for reading, and have a nice day! ~Wulfie
~~~~ IT'S OVER YAYYYYYY ~~~~ (now on to actual PLOT) ~~~~ Let's begin ~~~~ [Let's not]
Ink shook his head, sighing as he watched everything fall to pieces. He had to fix this, but how can he go about it without being seen? (yeah, no the fact that he should stay hidden was from the note Error just sent him via thrown slipper. Hey, don't you dare go into that universe! It's supposed to be MY job to destroy them! …well at least he knew his presence would probably corrupt the code even more.)
He mentally listed off all the glitches involving this universe. The characters were inconsistent, personalities were warped, and some things didn't fit properly. (Sans deciding right off the bat to tell Papyrus about his split soul problem, among other things.) The very code of this world seemed to force itself along, making coincidences so the timeline would continue.
Basically, Ink was watching a train wreck occur in slow motion.
He blinked. Nearby was another universe, very similar to the one he had just looked away from. Absentmindedly, he wrote a note for himself so he may remember where it was, and what problem it had. (Notes were the perfect way to keep him on track! Why didn't he think of this sooner!? [Nah, he didn't think of it, Error just brought up the fact that notes existed and Ink got curious.] [This still wasn't going smoothly, so I decided on the ask blog.])
Well, because everything is slowly falling to pieces as I create more and more plot holes, I made the ask blog before posting this chapter. It's wulfsstories on tumblr. Sorry, but I just can't really fix this, less things are making sense, and I work better when asked something. *shrug* It gets my mind running.