Chapter Six: Second Thoughts

Will was infuriated that he couldn't tell what she was thinking. Most people were easy to read, and Will was good at reading them. But he had never been able to read Alicia, not since the day he met her. It was worse because she always seemed to know what he was thinking.

The first couple of times he had seen her after she left with Cary, Will had felt okay. He was in control of his anger around her, although just barely. But when he saw her today, her red lips and black dress looking so much like the Alicia he knew, his heart stopped for a moment.

But he kept it together. He did what he set out to do, which was not to admit that Eli wanted Alicia to come forward with Peter's fraud publicly. He wasn't at all surprised that she had figured out their intentions, she was too clued in and accostomed to Eli's antics. Will thought he had handled it well; the right amount of anger, the right amount of intimidation.

God though, she had smelt good. And the moment he said goodbye to her was painful. But Will was determined to remain on track. Now that they had gone through the first settlement talk, it was time to confer with his partners in crime.

"Kalinda?" Will said when she answered the phone. "Where are you at? Alicia's just been, it's time to plan our next move."

"You're still coming with me to the Illinois State Fundraiser for Legal Aid aren't you?" Peter asked, looking at her from across the room, leaning on the kitchen sink. Alicia stood with her shoulder resting on the alcove between this room and the entrance, a glass of white wine in her hand. She needed wine to talk to Peter these days, she found. The way he pronounced each word of the fundraiser event irked her for some reason, because he had asked her weeks ago to attend; she knew exactly what it was. It annoyed her because he was so formal; but he was formal because he was being wary of her, she reasoned with herself. He didn't want to piss her off any more by trying to be casual, as if nothing were wrong.

"Yes, I think so" Alicia replied. "I already bought a dress."

"Are you leaving me?" Peter asked, finally having the guts to ask the real question.

"I haven't decided yet" she said, taking another sip. "Probably." She shrugged.

"That's all you have to say? That you're probably leaving me?"

"Yes Peter, I am probably leaving you. Don't try and hang any of this on me, it is all on you. The first time, with your prostitute, it was about our marriage. We let ourselves become lazy, and I will take a partial blame for that mess. But Peter this is so different; it is so much worse."

He nodded in agreement, with nothing to say. He had apologised, he had begged, he had cried. But he knew that Alicia would make up her own mind and let him know when she was ready. It wasn't looking good for him.

"They're coming after me" he whispered. "I need you."

"No Peter, no" Alicia said, walking forward and putting her glass down on the kitchen counter. "I'm not going through this again, it is your mess. I am doing you a favour by going to this fundraiser tomorrow night, I am buying you time to make a plan. I am doing this for you even though I'm disgusted by what you did and I will not stand by you Peter. Not this time."

Alicia had already told their children as much; she and Peter had sat down with Grace and told her about the tape, then Peter rang Zach at college and told him too. They were devastated, disappointed. Grace had not spoken a word to Peter since, but Alicia couldn't feel any compassion for him. It was his own fault, his own mess, and she would try to lessen the collateral damage as much as possible. So long as Zach and Grace were okay, that's all Alicia cared about. Peter could go to hell. But Alicia knew that she couldn't take the video public for Eli, even if it meant saving her firm, because her children would never forgive her. No matter what Peter had done, her children would still love him. Even if she didn't.

"So what do you think?" David asked. "Will she do it?"

"Sure she will, Peter wronged her" Eli insisted. "Again."

"Have you not been paying attention Eli?" Kalinda said from the couch where she sat beside Will, her legs crossed and an open notebook resting in her lap. "Alicia stayed with Peter after he slept with prostitutes; after he was arrested; and more than that."

She refrained from giving Will a knowing glance, but she felt him shift uncomfortably beside her. What she left unsaid was that Alicia stayed even after Kalinda had slept with Peter. She stayed even after her own affair with Will. Alicia stayed because she believed in being a good mother.

"Alicia might not stay with Peter this time, but she won't come forward with the tape publicly" Kalinda went on. "She won't do that to her children."

Eli pursed his lips in annoyance, knowing that Kalinda was right.

"Well I know another person we can give the tape to" David said, lacing his fingers together.

"Who?" Will asked.

"Well, it's obvious isn't it?" David said.

And it was obvious. It was also dangerous, but they all agreed who to give the tape to.

Last year's Illinois State Fundraiser for Legal Aid had seated over seven hundred people in an enormous exhibition building. This year's event was hosting almost one thousand people, prominent lawyers and judges and politicians from all over the country, not just Illinois. Peter had been asked to make a speech; that's why he needed Alicia to be there.

Alicia entered the room beside Peter, dressed in a black evening gown with a low back. Her hair was up and she wore a necklace with a small rose pendant on it. She had grabbed it from her jewellery box on her way out the door, barely looking at it twice. But when she was in the car with Peter, she realised that the necklace had been a gift from Will. She knew that when she saw him, Will would notice it straight away. That's why she decided to keep it on.

As soon as they stepped into the room Peter was accosted by his ethics advisor, Marilyn. Alicia had only met her a handful of times, she was relatively new to Peter's team. But from the way she spoke to Peter and the way he regarded her, Alicia could tell that they got along very well. She contemplated feeling jealous, but the emotion just wasn't there. Marilyn could have him. She split away from them after a few tedious greetings, and went in search of Cary.

Alicia couldn't see his familiar blonde head anywhere in the crowd, although she did spot the newly married Justice Lockhart and Mr McVeigh. She saw David Lee and Eli conspiring in a corner, but she didn't pay them much mind. When she finally saw Cary she was shocked to see him speaking with Kalinda, who wore a long navy dress and her hair was down. Alicia had never seen her like this before, she was stunning; but still the ever-so mysterious Kalinda. Not wanting to bother them, Alicia kept walking and found herself facing Will.

"Mrs. Florrick" he said, not in the usual cold way. More like how he had said goodbye to her the last time she saw him; quietly, almost sweetly. But she still hated him calling her that; even more so now that she knew about Peter's fraud.

"Mr. Gardner, hello" Alicia smiled, trying to match the sweetness of his tone. Everything about him was so confusing now. She knew he was still mad at her, he had to be; she hadn't said anything to change his mind of that. But his tone was different, so was the way he looked at her. Some of the ice had thawed and she saw her old Will again.

"Here with Peter?" he asked politely.

"Yes" she nodded, looking away. She was a little embarrassed to be honest. Will was probably wondering what the hell she was thinking, standing by Peter. But it was only for tonight, she reminded herself.

"How about you?" she asked out of curiosity. He seemed to be staring at her collarbone, and blinked dazedly.

"Sorry?"

"Are you here with anyone?" she clarified.

"No" Will shook his head, "I came alone."

"Oh" Alicia smiled a genuine smile; then, realising this might be seen as flirting, so she cleared her throat. She felt very awkward suddenly. "I should, uh, go and get a drink."

"Sure" Will said, stepping aside to let her pass. He smiled at her and she smiled back, then she walked away to the bar behind him.

"Having second thoughts?" Kalinda whispered in his ear.

"Not a chance" Will replied, more confidently than he felt.

Authors note: I was reading an article on what new characters are being cast, and Marilyn is one of them, she is meant to be Peter's ethics advisor. So there's a kernel of truth there. But just so everyone knows, I just made up the Illinois State Fundraiser for Legal Aid. I don't know if they have one or not, or if the Governor would attend it, so again just please forgive me for my lack of knowledge. I just wanted a big and fancy public party for things to get messed up :)

Thank you for the beautiful reviews :) i actually find that writing this story is a good way to have time to myself while travelling around the States. I love the people I'm travelling, but gosh, sometimes you just need a break! So I hope you like the story, I'm really enjoying writing it and reading all your lovely reviews :) Xx

Disclaimer:

This is a work of fan fiction using characters from The Good Wife television show, which is trademarked by Robert and Michelle King and CBS. Alicia Florrick, Will Gardner, Diane Lockhart, Cary Agos, Kalinda Sharma, Kurt McVeigh, Laura Hellinger and Peter Florrick are all characters created and owned by Robert and Michelle King and CBS. I do not claim any ownership over them or the world of The Good Wife. The story I tell here about The Good Wife characters is of my own invention, and it is not purported or believed to be part of the King's story canon. This story is for entertainment only and is not part of the official story line. I am not profiting financially from the creation and publication of this story. I am grateful to Robert and Michelle King, and all the other writers for The Good Wife, for their wonderful show, as without it, my story would not exist.