Chapter 6:
The next day, Mary woke up thinking she had the strangest dream. The more she thought about it, she began to realize that it hadn't been a dream. Francis had come to London to win her back. Yesterday, she had been in shock. Now, she was furious. How dare he come back? Francis had his chance in France and he had chosen Olivia. He was going to have to live with the consequences of his actions. Mary was going to have to talk to Elizabeth, because she knew that Elizabeth was involved with his recent appearance at court.
"Oh good, your Majesty is already awake! I must prepare you for a council meeting," her lady-in-waiting Emily said as she entered her bedchambers.
"Why is this the first I'm hearing of this council meeting?" Mary asked as she got out of bed.
"It wasn't scheduled, your Grace. Mr. Walsingham requested it this morning and Queen Elizabeth approved it," she said as she grabbed a dress for Mary to wear.
"How many times have I told you to call me Mary?" Mary said.
Emily smiled at her as she fastened Mary's gown and collected her breakfast from a servant. By the time Mary had finished everything, she was running late. It had become routine, so the other council members knew to expect it. Was it her fault that the meetings were always made at the last minute?
The council was comprised of six members: Queen Elizabeth, Francis Walsingham, Robert Dudley, William Cecil, Albert Michaelson, and herself. Albert Michaelson was one of Mary's advisors from Scotland. Her mother wanted to send Victor Brandon, but Mary had refused. Brandon would have been one of her mother's spies. Mary wanted someone that she could trust. Michaelson was her mother's least favorite advisor, but had been close friends with her father. His frankness made him one of Mary's favorites, so she sent for him instead.
William Cecil had been the man that had helped secure Elizabeth on the English throne. He was a short man with greying hair and walked with a slight limp. He was a traditionalist and it was entertaining to see him and Elizabeth argue. He constantly pushed Elizabeth to marry someone to strengthen England and build relationships, but she always refused. His greatest worry was that Elizabeth would not produce an heir to continue the Tudor line.
To this day, Mary could not figure out Robert Dudley and his relationship with Elizabeth. Some days, he was Elizabeth's favorite. Others, she gave him the cold shoulder. Mary had gathered that he had known her from before her reign. She often wondered if this had been the man that Elizabeth had loved, but she hadn't been brave enough to ask Elizabeth. Dudley was a touchy subject with Elizabeth and could set off her temper for the rest of the day. Dudley was fairly quiet, but had strong opinions when asked. He was quite handsome in a different way. He was tall and gangly with deep brown eyes and light brown hair. She had heard rumors about the different women he bedded. He was a charmer when he was not in council meetings. He was a mystery as far as Mary was concerned and a mystery she did not care to unravel.
The guards opened the heavy chamber doors at her arrival and she strode into the room. Taking a seat next to Elizabeth, she looked at her fellow council members.
"Late again, I see," Elizabeth said, "Now we can begin. What reports do you have to share Walsingham?"
Walsingham looked at the papers in front of him before he began to speak, "I have been informed by my people that the Pope has acquired a strong ally that he means to use against us. My informants do not know who it is, but we need to be vigilant."
"Should we discuss matters regarding the Pope in front of Queen Mary?" Dudley asked.
"You know that I am on your side. I did co-write the law that has made the Pope angry with England and Scotland," Mary said.
"You have to excuse us for asking," Cecil said, "You are a Catholic."
"I understand. Although I am a Catholic, that does not mean that I agree with the decisions the Pope has made. The Church has become corrupted. If I did agree, would I be here? He thinks that Elizabeth is the spawn of Satan and with our new alliance, he has put me in the same category as her. If Elizabeth is targeted, I will be too," Mary said glaring at Cecil and Dudley.
"Do you think it is wise for both Queen Elizabeth and Queen Mary to reside in the same location? It could make them easier targets," Michaelson said changing the conversation.
"We are staying together. We are stronger together than apart. Who do you suspect to be in league with the Pope?" Elizabeth asked.
Walsingham looked at Mary before turning to the rest of the members, "We should be wary of King Philip and his ambassador Alvaro de la Quadra. King Philip is known to have a close relationship with the Pope and he had been away on business when my informants found out the Pope has gained a new ally."
"That doesn't make sense. He is a known supporter of the Pope. We all knew that when he came to court. Your informants have told us that it is a new ally. It doesn't add up," Mary said refusing to believe Philip could have anything to do with it.
"We have to consider the possibility until we find out their identity," Elizabeth said.
"I will keep an open mind as long as you provide me with evidence that he is the one we're looking for," she said staring back at them.
"Agreed," Walsingham said, "Keep an eye on him. This is for your safety."
"Is the meeting dismissed?" Mary asked.
"Yes, I believe that was all there was to discuss," Elizabeth said as she rose from her chair.
Mary signaled for her to stay and waited for the others to leave the room before confronting her cousin. If she didn't know better, she would have thought that Elizabeth looked nervous.
"Why is he here?" Mary asked her, "Before my anger gets the best of me, I need to know what good you thought would come from this."
"King Henry is still looking to ally himself with England and has sent the dauphin of France to discuss terms of an alliance with me. I understand you have history with him, but I can't make France an enemy. Not with the Pope gaining support from other countries. We need them if he is to act against us," Elizabeth explained.
Mary laughed, "Do you really think France is going to hold their end of the agreement? Haven't you learned from my experience at all? Did you consider how it would affect me that the man who broke my heart has come to court? Do you know why Francis is really here and not an ambassador? He wants me back, Elizabeth. He cornered me yesterday. I was just getting over him. How could you do this to me? I thought that you were my friend, my cousin, my ally. How could you let him come back into my life?"
"I need to hear what France has to offer before I turn my back on them. I didn't know that was why Francis had requested to come to court, but does it change anything? You seem to care a great deal for Philip now. Can't you bury your feelings until I am finish talking with Francis?" Elizabeth asked.
Mary looked at her cousin as if she was stupid. How could she stand here and try to shift the blame onto Mary? Elizabeth was the one to push Mary into confronting Francis and had given Mary the strength to leave France. How could she let Francis return? Her reasons were rational, but that didn't change the fact that Francis' appearance created an upheaval in her life.
"I'm not going to pretend that I think Francis is a terrible man. I've given it a great deal of thought and from everything I've seen and heard; he is a good man. He is a better man than Philip and I think you should ally yourself with France if the choice is between France and Spain. He cares about you. Could you reconsider your decision?" she asked Mary, "At least try to be his friend?"
She wanted to throw a chair, push something, anything to get her feelings out. Mary wanted to express how out of control she felt, the conflicting emotions she felt at Francis' return. She loved her cousin, but she was asking for too much. Being his friend meant that she would have to open herself up to him and she was frightened, scared at what she might do. Looking up at Elizabeth, Mary realized that England and Scotland needed as many allies as they could get.
"I will try to be his friend, because I know how much that would mean to you and to our countries. That is all that I am willing to offer," Mary said.
"Thank you, Mary. I know that I am asking a lot," Elizabeth said, "We should prepare for the play this evening."
Mary sighed before joining Elizabeth in leaving the room. After saying goodbye to her cousin, she decided to find Francis. Philip was returning this evening to attend the play with her and if they were to be friends, she should inform him that someone else was courting her.
She searched for him for over an hour before giving up. He wasn't in his chambers, the library, the kitchen, the dining hall, the throne room, or the courtyard. He would have to find out this evening when she arrived with Philip. Ignoring the sharp pain in her heart at the thought of hurting him, Mary returned to her bedchambers.
Her lady-in-waiting was nowhere to be found, but a fire had recently been lit in her room spreading its warmth. Mary sighed when she saw the letter sitting on her desk. She knew who it was from and was reluctant to read its contents. To help calm her mother's anger at recent events, Mary started to send her reports. She didn't say anything of importance to her mother, but things that her spies at court would know.
Her mother had no idea that she was currently on a council with Elizabeth, Michaelson, and Elizabeth's advisors. Her mother would be plotting England's downfall if she found that out. It was better to keep her in the dark. Mary and Elizabeth frequently discussed what to report to her mother to keep her appeased. After reading her mother's letter urging her to commit herself to Spain, Mary was not in the mood to see the play. But she knew that she had a duty to perform.
When her Emily arrived, Mary started getting ready. She wasn't sure if she put more effort into her appearance because Philip was returning or if it was because she would see Francis. Her lady-in-waiting had picked a black dress that drew attention to her long neck. Her hair was braided into a simple bun. Her eyes were accentuated with charcoal.
She was determined to prove Philip's innocence tonight. He was pretty guarded, but if she tried, Mary thought he might open up to her. Growing up, Mary had witnessed the games her mother played with others at court. Marie de Guise was an intimidating, beautiful woman. She often reminded Mary of Queen Catherine, yet her mother lacked the maternal instincts that drove Queen Catherine. The truth was that her mother was disappointed that Mary hadn't been a son instead. Her mother had wanted a son to help her secure and maintain the Scotland throne, someone would could lead their armies to battle. No matter how much Mary tried to make up for being born a woman, it was never enough.
Tonight, she would have to take a page from her mother's book and play the game. It would be difficult with Francis there, because he might try to interfere with her plans unknowingly, but it was a risk she would have to take. Taking a deep breath to soothe her nerves, Mary knew it was time. She smiled at the noblewomen who bowed as she passed and before she knew it, she was back in the ballroom where the play was being held.
"Are you sure you want to be alone with Philip?" Elizabeth asked her as soon as Mary stood next to her.
"Yes. I want to get to the bottom of this. I want to prove his innocence," Mary said smiling because the people at the bottom of the staircase were watching them.
"Why are you so determined to prove his innocence?" she asked Mary confused.
She looked away from her cousin, "Because he is one of my only friends at court. He was there for me when I needed someone to lean on, when I thought that I was going to fall apart. Philip has treated me with nothing but kindness and respect, wanting to wait until I was ready before proposing a marriage alliance. I owe him the opportunity to prove his innocence before we condemn him."
The two queens were announced, interrupting their conversation. Smiling brightly, they both glided down the staircase as if they didn't have a worry in the world. It wasn't until they reached the bottom that Mary saw Philip's hand reaching out for her. Taking his hand, she let him led her towards the wine.
Although Philip was older than Mary, he was still attractive. His brown eyes rivaled her own and his raven black hair fell to his shoulders. A thin scar that started just below his right eye to the right corner of his mouth showed the experience he had in battle. The way he held himself confidently commanded attention.
"You look beautiful this evening, Mary," Philip said, "I have missed you."
Mary looked up surprised, "I missed you too. I'm glad you returned safely. Did you encounter any danger on your trip back to London?"
"A band of outlaws tried to rob us, but they were unsuccessful," he said as he led her towards the other couples that were dancing after they finished their drinks, "I brought back a gift for you. You should find it in your chambers after the play is finished, I sent Alvaro to deliver it to your lady-in-waiting."
"Thank you, that is very thoughtful of you. I am glad that you returned unharmed," Mary said as they started dancing, "What business drew you away this time?"
He looked surprised at her question, because this was the first time she had asked such a personal question. They kept their respective countries' affairs to themselves. When she saw his shock, Mary stepped in closer hoping to distract him. His eyes searched her face for something and she hoped that he would answer her question.
"I had to meet with one of my lords. He is unhappy with certain conditions that I have placed on him. He is very influential and wealthy, so I could not afford to upset him. I had to deal with him in person," Philip said before twirling her.
"That sounds like a difficult situation. Was he happy at the end of his audience with you?" she asked.
"What is the dauphin of France doing in London?" Philip asked suddenly, "Were you aware of his presence at court? When did he arrive?"
Mary sighed as she brought him over to the balcony so that they could talk uninterrupted. She had been scared of his reaction to Francis' arrival. Mary knew that Philip wanted to marry her and he knew the hold that Francis had over her. He knew just as well as she did that Francis could jeopardize everything they had worked towards in the past couple of months.
"I didn't know he was coming to London. He arrived yesterday night. He is here to negotiate with Elizabeth," she said looking up at him with wide eyes.
"Where are my manners? How are you? Should I demand that he leave court?" Philip asked as he wrapped his arms around her.
Mary let herself relax into his embrace, "I was upset with Elizabeth, but she told me that I had to try to be friends with him. No, I don't want to jeopardize England and France's relationship. The history between those two countries is filled with conflict and I don't want to be the cause of a new rift. Thank you for offering."
As he led her to their seats so they could enjoy the play, Mary felt guilty. She did truly care for Philip, but she was scared that he would want their marriage to happen sooner with Francis' arrival. Mary was also using his good esteem of her to try to get information out of him when she should have been honest with him. When they took their seats, Mary immediately caught Francis' blue eyes. The guests were sitting in the shape of a U and Francis was directly across from her. He smiled at her and she quickly looked away swallowing the lump that had formed in her throat. Elizabeth was busy talking to Russian ambassadors, but Walsingham was watching her carefully. To her relief, the actors took their positions and the play started.
Although she had been watching the play, none of it had registered. If anyone asked her what it had been about, she would be at a loss on what to tell them. She was still sitting with Philip while people starting getting up. Quickly glancing across from her, she saw that Francis had already left.
"How close are you to your cousin?" Philip asked her.
Mary turned her full attention to him, "She is family, why do you ask?"
"I have made my intentions towards you clear, but my advisors are getting impatient with me. They would like to see me wed within the year," he said.
"What does that have to do with Elizabeth?" she asked, scared that the conversation would take her to a place she wasn't ready to go.
Philip sighed, "You are aware that I am close to the Pope. I value my relationship with him. He has been displeased with your new law and I wanted to know if you would be willing to change it."
"Absolutely not. That was a law engineered by both Elizabeth and myself. I am sick and tired of seeing needless conflict arise between my subjects due to their religious values. I was nervous about introducing that law, but I have no regrets. It has benefited my people greatly," Mary explained, not used to seeing this assertive side of Philip.
"I will try to reason with the Pope, but I do not know how successful I will be. He is displeased with you as of late," he said.
Mary stood up unable to sit with Philip anymore. She knew that she had taken a risk with the law, but she wouldn't change it. Although many were still hesitant towards it, it was going to be effective. He looked confused at her actions. They have had heated debates in the past, but with the events of this morning, Mary was on edge.
"I am aware that he is displeased with me. Do you think I took this law lightly when I wrote it? Some of my subjects have died in the riots in response to these changes. I knew that the Pope would disapprove, but I know in my heart that I have made the right decision for Scotland. If you want to marry me, you will have to accept that I will do what is best for my people no matter the cost or the influential people that I upset. I am tired, so I am going to retire for the evening. Good night Philip," Mary said before she stormed away.
How could he expect her to change something so fundamental about herself? Mary would always put her country first, her people first. If he didn't like that then it was better that he figured that out now before they were married. Mary couldn't begin to navigate the depth of frustration and disappointment that she felt towards Philip. She cared a great deal for him. He was one of her closest friends at court. Would that all be undone because of his alliance with the Pope? Would he choose the Pope over her?
Not willing to dwell on that thought, Mary gestured to Elizabeth that she was going to retire. Although, her feet had a different plan for her this evening. Instead of bringing her to her bedchambers, she found herself in front of the library doors. When she opened the heavy wooden doors, Mary felt a sense of calm. The smell of books assaulted her nostrils and she welcomed it. It wasn't until she reached the couches that she realized that she wasn't alone.
"Sorry, I didn't realize the library was occupied. I will leave you to your thoughts," Mary said.
"I don't mind the company," Francis said from his spot on the couch, "Is everything alright?"
Mary was about to get defensive and tell him everything was great. She had a powerful marriage prospect, a powerful alliance with England, and friends at court. But Elizabeth's voice nagged at her, telling her that she needed to try to be friends with him. The only way to do that was to be nice. Sighing, she took a seat across from him.
"Not really. A lot has been going on at court and I am overwhelmed trying to figure out how to protect myself and Scotland from harm," Mary said, her eyes drawn to the flames in the fireplace.
"You took a great risk with that new law and I am extremely proud of you, Mary. Your father would be proud of you," he said with a smile.
She looked at him and found herself under his scrutiny once again. It was strange sitting with him here of all places. The library in France had always been a haven for them. They would use it as an escape from the outside world and pretend that they were ordinary people.
"Do you really think so? I'm scared that I will be a disappointment to him, to my mother. She was furious when she found out what I had done. The Pope is angry with me," Mary confided, "I'm scared, Francis. I'm scared that I am headed down a road that there will be no coming back from. This isn't a game anymore. I'm a queen and I'm terrified I will fail my people. I'm scared that the Pope is going to try to kill me for allying myself with Elizabeth."
Francis leaned forward and grabbed both of Mary's hands and held them. He entranced her. He knew her better than anyone in the world and she wanted to know what he thought. Wanted to know what he would do if he was in her position. Would he continue to fight or would he change to appease others?
"It is alright to be scared. You and I both know that this is a dangerous game that we are playing and losing could mean our lives. You will not fail your people. You care too much about them to let that happen. You have never been drawn to the power of being a ruler, it has always been about helping others. That's who you are and that will never change. The road ahead might be difficult, but anything worth doing is difficult. You can't please everyone, someone will always be unhappy. You need to do what is right for you and your country. If the Pope tries to kill you, I will be there with you."
"Francis, don't make promises that you can't keep," Mary said as she tried to pull her hands away.
He held onto them tighter, "I give you my word that I will be there for you if you are ever in danger. I can't promise that France will be there for you, but I will be. My hands are tied until I become the King, but I will be there regardless."
He looked genuine in that moment, like he would singlehandedly defeat an army if it meant that she would be safe. Mary wanted nothing more than to fall into his arms, but she couldn't. It was still too soon. The memories were too fresh. It was so easy to pretend like nothing had happened, but it did happen. Suddenly there was a gap between them that she wanted to bridge, but didn't know how to. Pulling her hands away, she retreated into herself. Francis noticed the change and a look of sadness settled on his face.
"I realized today that I might have been selfish in wanting to win you back. I have been too caught up in what I have wanted that I forgot about you. I want you to be happy, Mary. If that means that your future isn't with me, so be it. I want you to know that I will never stop loving you and that I will always be there for you if you need me. You just need to send the word," Francis said looking like he wanted to hold her, but was resisting.
"Thank you, Francis. I'm sorry. I'm just not ready for anything more than friendship right now. I'm still healing. I'm also sorry that I didn't tell you about Philip sooner. I tried to find you earlier to explain my situation, but I couldn't find you in time," Mary said as she wrapped her arms around her knees like she used to do as a little girl when she was upset.
He tried to brush it off, but she knew that he was hurt, "You're a beautiful woman that any man would be lucky to have. I should have known that you would have suitors lined up for your hand in marriage."
Mary wanted to cry, because she was conflicted. Francis had broken her heart. He had cheated on her. He had called her a duty. Yet now here he was promising her the world. Mary wanted so desperately to believe him, to believe that if they were together, they would be invincible. But the image of Francis and Olivia together was still seared behind her eyelids and she couldn't let it go. She couldn't no matter how much she wanted to.
Sometime during their conversation, they had both fallen asleep on their respective couches. The next morning, Elizabeth entered the library and left with a smile on her face. She hoped that they would find their way back to each other. Francis had been an idiot, but she could see how much he had matured in the past six months and hoped that Mary would soon come to realize it. Shutting the door quietly, Elizabeth went to find Philip to distract him from finding Mary this morning.
Let me know what you think :).
Kate xx