Welcome to Vermont and the real start to our adventure through both snowy terrain and Beckett/Castle's newly-forming relationship.

This chapter is definitely a bit more angsty than the others, but there's a reason for it. We need to get through the angst before the fluff and yes, eventual smut.

Enjoy, and HAPPY CASTLE MONDAY! 3

**DISCLAIMER: of course I don't own these people. Or the property. Although I wish. Pfft.

Her jaw dropped as she looked out the window. They were currently parked outside of the most beautiful winter cabin she had ever laid eyes on. Although, she thought, it couldn't exactly be considered a cabin. The building was pretty huge, but somehow it worked with the property and didn't seem overly big or like a mansion. It reminded her of a gingerbread house, with its dark wooden log exterior and the pure white snow layering everything, including the roof. She looked at Rick, who had silently been watching her take it all in.

"Welcome to the Whitmore estate" he said in a quiet voice, anxiety leaking in at the last minute. His face told her he was nervous she wouldn't approve somehow. She reassured him with a smile.

"It's gorgeous. Is this yours?" Kate gestured toward the big house.

"Oh, no, but my friend owns it and said I could borrow it when he and his wife aren't there, which is most of the time. So, I called him yesterday and he said he'd arrange for it to be all stocked up with food and supplies for us."

They got out of the car and took both suitcases out of the trunk, which had been packed in there somehow when Kate wasn't looking. She really needed to lock her keys in her desk when she wasn't there, she thought to herself. When they entered the cabin, they were greeted with a great pine scent; not overly-done, like an air freshener, but like it was built into the property. There was a huge coat rack and mud room attached to the foyer where they stopped and took off their outer layers, piling them neatly next to each other. Once shoes were off, they continued the tour of the home. The whole place was made of wood, and it almost looked like the beams were carved by hand. The kitchen was the perfect mixture of rustic and modern; wooden floors made it homey, while the stainless steel appliances balanced it out. Pots and pans hung over the small island in the middle of the kitchen, which was also made of wood.

"Holy…" Kate muttered when she opened the refrigerator to see it stacked with every type of food a person could ever dream of.

"Yeah. I definitely have to call Rob tomorrow to thank him again for this. He went above and beyond." Rick said, standing behind the slightly awestruck Kate. They moved into the living room, which flowed nicely from the dining area. There was a large television with all types of equipment, some of which Kate didn't even know what it was used for. A large, brown suede couch stood opposite to the television, with a spacious fireplace to its left. Rugs were placed strategically around the home to make it feel a bit warmer and inviting.

"Out there are the slopes and ice rinks" Rick pointed out the window of the kitchen. "And out there," he turned so he was pointing out of the slider in the living room, "is the hot tub" he said with a slightly sly grin.

"Wow. Even in the middle of winter you're trying to get me in a bathing suit. Nice, Castle. Real mature."

"Wha…? I didn't say anything bad! I merely stated the existence of a hot tub if, by any chance during this trip, you would like to use it. I'm hurt, detective." Castle tried his best pout face, but she just rolled her eyes.

"Uh huh. We'll see." This time, it was Beckett who had the sly grin and Castle who went pale white from the implication.

"You tease," he muttered. She just smiled to herself.

Upstairs, there were three bedrooms, all with their own separate baths, which were also fully stocked with soaps, towels, and bathroom amenities. A fireplace was also in every room, and each room had a different color scheme: the lilac room, the blue room, and the green room. At the end of the hall was a study with a library attached. The desk was made of pure oak and was looking out on the landscape. Even in the middle of the night, the moon shone on the ivory blanket that was the snow. Behind them, they entered the library, with vast amounts of books. The built-in bookcases were also made of dark wood, which made the whole place look rustic and cozy. A small wooden ladder stood off to the side in case they needed to reach a book higher up. It was a small room, with most of the space taken up by the book shelves, but one small window opened the room up and a plush chair sat in a little nook right next to it. Even the smell of the small room was glorious; the musty aroma of old library books that only true bookworms would appreciate. Kate had to make sure to come up here at least once before she leaves.

"I think I could spend hours in here" she murmured, running a hand appreciatively over certain spines of titles she wanted to read.

"Mmmm" Castle hummed in agreement. It seemed like he was just as awestruck about the cabin's amenities as she was.

After a few minutes of standing in the library, both taking mental notes of titles they needed to read, they made their way back downstairs to grab their luggage and unpack for a few minutes. Rick decided on the blue room, while Kate occupied the lilac room. Interestingly, they chose the two bedrooms that were directly next to each other, instead of the green, which would give them both at least two walls apart. It did cross Kate's mind, but she quickly erased that thought. She was already in a house alone with the man. What good would twenty extra feet do? (Yes, the rooms were that big.)

As she began to unpack, she realized that she didn't recognize some items of clothing within her suitcase.

"Lanie" Kate accused. She'd have to call the ME in the morning to ask her what she had been up to and why she suddenly had so many pink clothes. At least the woman had good taste, though. Plenty of cold-weather items were packed, along with formal attire that she was sure she didn't own before this trip. As she got down to the underwear section of her suitcase, she took out a pair of long underwear. Now this will come in handy. She recognized many of her less-than-sexy underwear that she wore for comfort at work, and then many risqué numbers that she had been hiding in her drawers for special occasions. One particular piece that she knew for a fact she didn't own caught her eye, and the barely-there lace had her reeling. A note was placed on top of this one that read, "You'll thank me later. Now go get some, girl! Love, Lanie". This woman will be the death of her. The last thing in the suitcase was a bathing suit. Okay, this can barely count as a bathing suit. She was used to showing off her body, but this was something even she would blush wearing. Of course, Lanie packed her more decent one, but the ME was obviously pining for the more revealing suit with a note pinned on it simply saying, "Please?"

"Does she know I wear a gun?" Kate was full-on talking to herself by this point, finally placing the last garment into a special place in the dresser where she hid it underneath more appropriate-looking clothes.

"I don't know, but I'm pretty sure I know that by now." Castle was leaning against the door of her room with his arms folded against his chest and a smile spread across his lips. She jumped when she heard his voice, turning towards him as she realized he was standing there. He had changed into a cotton t-shirt with an, "I'm A Proud Father" across the chest and some simple navy sweatpants.

"Ha, ha, Castle." Kate rolled her eyes briefly with a hint of a smile touching her eyes. She tried to hide her amusement but failed, and he could see right through it.

"So, you done unpacking? I was about to go downstairs and start a fire. Maybe put a movie on?"

"You know what? That sounds really nice actually." Kate stood then, placing her suitcase under her bed.

"Just give me a few minutes and I'll meet you down there." She assured. Castle nodded and headed downstairs.

Kate took the time to brush her teeth and change into some pajama bottoms and an NYPD t-shirt. After washing her face and pulling her wavy hair back in a loose ponytail, she went into the living room to find Rick sitting on the couch with a fire roaring and the TV on low. Wow, Rick thought, now this is the real Beckett. He didn't know it was possible, but she looks even more beautiful than she normally does.

"Still in the mood for a light movie?" he asked, turning towards her slightly with the remote in his hand.

"Sure. Whatever you want." She took a seat next to him on the couch and watched as he searched On Demand for a good movie for them both.

They ended up choosing another romantic comedy that had them laughing from the start. It seemed to become their favorite genre, because it meant they didn't have to think about the unspoken weight on their shoulders in regards to the freezer. As the movie progressed, though, thoughts kept seeping into Kate's mind. If they were really there to resolve their emotional traumas with the freezer, they can't avoid this subject forever. But she was afraid of what he would think about her; she's a strong individual and is just not used to letting anyone else in on her problems. What if he somehow thought less of her if she showed how she really felt about the whole ordeal they went through together? Before she could convince herself otherwise, she decided it was time to act.

"Hey," she practically whispered, taking a seat next to him, "as much as I don't want to do this, I think we should talk about why we're here." Beckett looked into his eyes for the first time since she started talking. Immediately, Castle turned off the movie and turned to face her completely. She pulled her knees to her chin, wrapping her arms around her legs.

"I'm here because a month ago, I was minutes away from losing both my own life and my partner's, and it's been causing me an immense amount of pain, both seeing you silently suffer, and having to endure the memories wherever I go, even in my dreams." Beckett sat there, slightly stunned by his complete bluntness and honesty.

"…Oh. Uh, okay. Well, as much as I don't like to admit it, I was traumatized by that night in the freezer in more ways than one. I haven't been sleeping well, mostly due to recurring nightmares, and nights that I'm not jolted awake in a cold sweat, my brain won't shut down and I just lay there with major insomnia until I finally decide to get up and do something else. The cold scares me. It feels like it's a plastic bag going over my mouth and nose whenever I feel anything remotely cool. I don't know how to get over that and I don't like bringing other people into my problems. But you're right. I almost lost my partner too that night. That's what scares me the most. We were so close, Rick… It was only a matter of minutes before…" she stopped, her voice breaking as a slight sob racked over her body.

She tried to hide it, but he saw it nonetheless and opened his arms slightly. Only thinking a second before leaning into his arms, she continued on, "You know me. I deal with my problems on my own. I always have; it wasn't a choice to me when I was younger. When my mom died, I was on my own. My dad could barely dress himself, let alone help me though anything, so I hid my emotions and ran from those who tried to help me. "

Now that she started telling him, everything flowed out in a stream of emotions she didn't even know she was feeling. He just sat there, rubbing her back with his palm, trying to comfort this woman who was opening up to him in his arms. Not to say he didn't appreciate and love this new Beckett—no, a new Kate—it was wonderful in so many ways. So there he sat, slightly dumbfounded by her letting him into her head at last.

"Thank you," he murmured into her hair. She turned slightly so she could look into his eyes. Her eyes were filled with tears that hadn't yet hit the barrier of her cheek, and a puzzled expression graced her features.

"Why? What did I do? I'm just sitting here, being a blubbering fool." Kate laughed slightly at how she must look right now.

"You finally let me into your head; your thoughts. The fact that you're sitting here with me even though you didn't know where you were going. For trusting me with this. Thank you."

"Always." Kate looked up at him and smiled genuinely, receiving a grin that lit up all of his features. She didn't know what was changing in their relationship, but she was growing on it. Maybe Lanie was right; this was a second chance for both of them to redo the Hamptons.

"Alright. Now, as much as I'm loving the new, open flow of communication, think we can get back to the movie?" Kate rubbed his arm slightly and pointed at the remote now sitting to the left of them.

"Of course," he smiled down at her and hit the 'play' button and the movie continued.

As Kate reluctantly began peeling herself off of Rick and put some space in between them, he tightened his arms around her and whimpered slightly.

"Can you stay? Please? I—think I need to hold you right now."

The way he said that made Kate look up at him with raised eyebrows wide eyes.

"Alright", she assured him and lay back against his chest, nestling her left side of her face into the crook of his shoulder and neck. He lightly leaned his chin against the crown of her head, and felt his pulse slow from having her back safely in his arms. As much as she still had trouble admitting to herself, she liked being encircled by him, and was glad when he asked her to stay. His legs were up against the coffee table and the couch allowed both of them to recline into its plush pillows. Kate's legs were tucked underneath her slightly so their bodies were almost forming a 'Y'.

The movie played on and they allowed the lull of people talking and the warmth and security of each other's arms to drift into sleep. Neither of them was ready to admit to each other, but they both were hoping and planning on falling asleep together like this again. It was a comfort they hadn't felt with anyone else, let alone since the freezer. Plus, the nightmares that haunted them both seemed to lessen…Well—almost.

"No. No! K—Kate! No…" muffled cries and whimpers woke the detective up in the middle of the night. She turned toward the noise, and found Rick's face scrunched up in his sleep. His arms jerked and his head shook.

"Shhhh. Rick, wake up. It's okay. It's okay." Kate tried to calm him by running a thumb over his cheek in a soft, slow, circular motion and began rubbing his arm with her other free hand. Somehow during the night, they ended up changing positions, and she was now spread out on top of his body, lying on her side with her back against the cushions, while he was lying length-wise on the couch.

The dry sobs subsided as he became conscious, but Kate kept up her motions of trying to comfort him until she felt him relax underneath her. For the first time, he looked up to see their positions, where her hands were and just how close her face was to his. He tightened his hold on her then, hugging her to him, muttering, "Thank goodness."

"Nightmare?" Kate continued to stroke the pad of her thumb over his cheek and brushing her other hand through his hair lightly.

"The worst. There are three I always have, but this one is the most graphic and involves you dying in my arms. It's… It's just so horrible." His face scrunched into a look she had only seen once before, right before she had fallen unconscious in the freezer. She hated it; that face made her insides form into a knot and she just wanted to soothe the pained creases on his face away.

"You have one of those too? I didn't realize… I thought I was the only one. I have a recurring night terror that I can't save you. We're in the arctic and people keep yelling at us to move, but we just can't. There are a few more variations of it, some more graphic, but they play like films in my head whenever I try to sleep. This helps, though." She squeezed her arms tighter around him before continuing, "I'm okay, Rick. Look at me. No, look" Kate put a finger under his chin to assure his eyes were on her, and boy were they. "I'm alive. I'm here. If you ever need me, wake me up. I'm here."

"Thank you. And you know you can wake me if you need anything at all, even if you want to talk."

Her head rested against his chest again and listened to his heartbeat mix with the deep rumbling of his voice. She felt him place a chaste kiss to her hair. Under any other circumstances, she would have threatened his life, but not now. Right now, it felt right somehow, and she enjoyed the intimacy. She didn't know what was changing inside her, but she liked it.

The rest of the night continued on with no other interruptions. It was an unspoken agreement to stay where they were. Neither wanted to get up off the couch and go to their separate beds, but it still made Kate nervous to sleep in a bed with the man. Maybe it would make it reality that she was 'sleeping' with him, in not the most traditional sense. She knew nothing would happen, but it would complicate things and they would probably need to discuss what was going on in the shift of their relationship.

No, for tonight, they just wanted to be with each other without worries or technicalities.

Well, what do you guys think? Feedback, of course, is like a mini gift from each of you ;)

Oh, and sorry if the editing is a bit choppy again. I just had a 12 hour school day with two exams and two labs, and now I'm "studying" (AKA: talking to Kimmiesjoy and writing fanfiction) in the library until Castle!

Hope you enjoy Pandora!