Sorry for the very long delay. I am planning on finishing this story up fairly quickly. There are only two chapters left. I hope people are still reading. I still truly enjoy the concept behind this story.
I am unsure if I responded to the reviews I reviewed. But thank you to the all the guest reviews. Chuck side will be revealed much more in the next chapter as well as more information about the company.
The sky was clear. I knew it was going to be a beautiful day. One we will probably never forget. Now I only need to make sure the bride and groom were up but I still had a little more time to myself this morning. Serena and Nate were supposed to be in separate rooms this morning for traditional sake but Serena was feeling frisky last night and took a room at the Palace with Nate after our clubbing. I was supposed to wake them in half an hour to ready for the day. As much as love was in the air I was dreading having any conversation with Chuck regarding the state of our relationship. I snuck out of bed and into a shower rather than wake up Chuck this morning.
Suddenly his arms were wrapped around me. "Hey babe," he spoke into my neck after he pressed a soft kiss. "I missed you." He mumbled as he pressed closer to me.
"Chuck, your hair is still wet," I said pulling back from his embrace. He just laughed and moved away to grab coffee from the breakfast I had the ordered up.
"Ready for today?" he asked. He was wearing his dressing robe looking oh so very delicious.
"Yep," I was dressed and ready to drag my best friend to the suite that was rented out for the bridal suite.
"Yea but at least there won't be too much running around since I assume all the hair, makeup, and nails people are coming to the Palace. You make sure you are pampered as well. I am sure you are going to deserve it after dealing with the mother of the bride and groom," he teased.
"Yes true but nerves take over and what not so who knows how Serena is going to be this morning," I shrugged. I was pulled into Chuck's lap. Quickly he kissed me and before I knew it my hands were in his damp hair and his hands were moving over my body burning my skin as his wait.
"You left me this morning. I need to show you that you are not allowed to leave me without a proper kissed," he said after a moment.
"I believe we have kissed. Plus, the wedding," I whispered trying to pull away knowing I was going to be late and I took my duties as the maid of honor very serious. But he beginning unbuttoning my shirt ignoring my meek protest.
"This is the punishment for leaving me," he said with a wicked smirk that melt away all thought of the wedding. Suddenly I was lifted up and I quickly wrapped my legs around his waist. I pushed his robe off of him enjoying the feel of his skin.
"Fuck Blair," he mumbled as he pushed up my skirt and pulled my closer to him. He kissed my collarbone. "Right now just you and me," he grunted.
"Yes… you and me," I moaned back as we moved together in sync as one.
"The makeup artist is running light something about gridlock traffic coming from the Bowery," Lily announced to the room.
We were family on schedule and the lateness of the makeup artist would not have pushed us too far back but I watched Serena to make sure she did not tense up. We were helping her into her gown. After waking up the bride to be this morning we were swept up in a series of hair and nail artist as well as a masseuse. She was a fairly nice bride beaming with happiness and the day was moving smoothly. In only 90 minutes she was going to marry her soulmate.
"You look beautiful," Lily whispered and Anne agreed once the dressed with closed and zipped up.
"Mom don't make me cry," Serena giggled and made a face towards me and I smiled back.
The wedding planning came into the room to inform Lily and Anne that their makeup artist was stationed in the other room. Then it was just Serena and I. She grabbed my hands and laughed.
"Blair I am getting married," she all but yelled with a laughed and I smiled back. She twirled around the room until she took a seat on the bed. "Blair you are next and then we will be sisters!" she told me with glee.
"Chuck and I just started dating and sit up Serena. You can't wrinkle your dress," I told her.
"Oh Blair. He is so in love with you. I would be surprised if he did not propose by Christmas. Or on Christmas. How romantic," she said rambling on her predication.
"Doubt it," I confessed rolling my eyes.
"Blair. I know I wasn't for this a while ago but I see now that you can have your happily ever after and not all of our fates are written. You and Chuck are forging your own path and while it may be unconventional you two certainly never were one for all the rules," she smiled at me and suddenly my stomach was sinking. Serena changing her mind about Love matches. Something was wrong. Suddenly I recalled the magazine article about wedding bells in Chuck's future.
"S, do you know something? I asked hesitantly.
"B. Oh, B, you must be surprised when he asked. Apparently when Nate and Chuck left to run errands Chuck got you a ring. Isn't that amazing. I promise not to get prego so I can fit into my maid of honor dress," she gushed.
Nate's honeymoon gift that took the guy's five hours to purchase and meant Nate messed a pre-wedding facial made sense. The look of fear in my face must have been telling because Serena was up on her feet placing a hand on my shoulder.
"B, sweetie is everything okay? You aren't going to faint on me are you?" she asked her face uneasy and filled with concern. I tried to blink back the tears not wanting to damper her spirts. Gulping down my tears I nodded cursing the makeup artist who was running late.
"You are lying. Blair come tell me the truth. Wedding be damned," she said.
"You were right. I can't be with him. Not when he could have another… could have his soul mate out there. I love him so much S. I can't imagine loving someone as much as this. I want the best for him. I want him to have his one and I can't stand in the way of that…. And I want that for me too. I need to know he won't just walk away again not like he did last time. I can't stand for him to walk away especially if it was for someone else…I want what you and Nate have - does that make me selfish?" I asked as the tearing rolling down my face.
"No of course. I want that for you too. It will happen. I know it will," Serena the optimistic said hugging me to her.
"I hope so," I mumbled.
"What about Chuck?" she asked.
"After the wedding. Maybe tomorrow or the next day I will talk to him. Hopefully we can remain friends after everything. But don't worry about it Serena. Not today, okay?" I said trying to quickly end the conversation not wanting this day to be about me. She nodded before hugging me again.
The wedding was beautiful but the entire ceremony I stared at Chuck. He was gorgeous in his suit standing by Nate's stand. While we were up there I could not help but imagine our wedding – the one that would never occur- and how he would look standing there next to me. More than once he caught my stare and looked hungrily over at me. Which made me feel half aroused and guilty at the same time.
Now we were at dinner seated next to the couple on Nate's side rather than separate. Chuck hand was on my thigh as he kissed my neck.
"You look amazing. I can't wait to see you out of this dress," he whispered.
"Well hopefully you won't have to wait that long," I said back fully intending on enjoying the last days of us together as well as feeling the love of the moment. Weddings do that to you.
"Chuck it's almost time for your speech. Don't say the stupid joke," I informed when I felt his hand trying to find the slit in my dress. He chucked and rolled his eyes.
"I am a riot," he joked.
"Sick to the dry humor honey. It suits you," I teased.
But he stood up and begin to motion to the DJ as he picked up the mic that was handed to him by the wedding planner. Before he began he smiled at me and my guilt came back to pinch at me.
"Thank you for allowing me to interrupt your dinners. For those of you who do not know me I am Chuck and while my family owns this hotel so be sure to tip your valet's well," he said to laughter in the room especially from the older upper crowd. "Nate and I have been mates for years and I am happy to be back in New York to witness and stand by him as he married my wonderful slightly annoying sister," he said raising a glass to Serena and she winked at him. "You two have always been destined to be together ever since Blair, and the rest of us played pretend princesses and heroes in Central Park. We should have known then that you two were going to be together one day since you were the only two brave enough to try Central Park hotdogs. It is an honor to watch the two of you be so in love with each other.
But I what I think is most important is the way in which you two do not take each other for granted. In the months I have been back home I've watch you both love each other in the smallest ways. I am sure everyone who has spent time with the two can clearly see that you two are perfect each other and you guys have taught me that love is shown most importantly in the little things that you do for your partner. While your love may have been matched years ago there is no doubt that the love you share for each goes beyond that. It has only become stronger in the passing years. So let's raise our glasses to the Nate and Serena, true soulmates and should we all be blessed enough to find our own we should consider ourselves lucky if we found only half the happiness and love they share."
He finished off his speech to the applause of the crowd and I tried to smile at him and the rest of the party but the guilt I felt was intense. So I grabbed my champagne and quickly finished the drink off. One after another I drank glass after glass trying to wash away the dread I was feeling when it came to Chuck. Did he really wish to find his soulmate but then he wanted to marry me? It was cloudy my thoughts. Hi words echoed in my mind with every dance I had, ever drink, laugh and applause. 'Should we all be blessed enough to find our own we should consider ourselves lucky' but I wanted to ask if he considered himself lucky.
"Blair come on the flower toss. Its good luck you know," my mother said winking at me.
"Of course, I was heading over now," I lied with a smile and stomped away. Well as much stomping as you can do in Louboutins. I made sure I stood far away and it was certain that the flowers could land nowhere near me. After the brief scuffle took place I politely excused myself and found myself swept up into Chuck's arm.
"Chuck," I grasp at the surprised. "Shouldn't you be trying to get the garter belt?" I teased him.
"You are the only women I want to put lingerie on. Well actually I would like to take it off," he said with a dark smirk. The alcohol and his look made my skin heat up before he let me go. Clearing the air with a cough. "When can we go to our room Blair. It's only a few floors up," he whispered with a slight whine.
"We can't leave before the bride and groom," I stated once again but I wondered if we could find a coat closet somewhere.
"They better go soon. Matter of fact I should hurry Nate along," he grumbled.
"You will do no such thing. But maybe we can utilize another space or room. You did mention your family own the hotel," I flirted.
His eyes flared up and pulled me close to him to whisper in my ear. "The coat check should be empty. Five minutes." I nodded and he walked away in the hopes of not drawing attention to ourselves.
I walked my way around the room trying to spend my five minutes mingling but my thoughts were clearly elsewhere.
"Blair," Johnathan greeted me with a smile. Truthfully I was avoiding Eric today because of yesterday so I had little conversation with the Johnathan or his partner today.
"Hey, it's a great event, isn't it," I said not really engaging in the conversation.
"It is. And you and Chuck look amazing together," he gushed and I politely thanked him. "Eric and I admire your relationship so much. Really an inspiration," he complimented. I realized that Eric had not informed him that I wanted to break up with Chuck.
"We really are a normal couple," I said trying to diminish his praise.
"No to be together and so in love despite not matching. Eric and I are going to follow in your footsteps," he rambled on and it was clear that he too had enjoyed the open bar.
"Yes, yes. It is different I suppose. I have to run over to speak to Chuck about something," I said while already moving away from him. His smile never wavered it was clear he had no clue that I was trying to evade this conversation. I felt guilt associated with the fact that our relationship will no longer be a model for Eric and Jonathan and I wonder if they would survive without being matched by LoVECHrome.
It took me a matter of seconds to find the coat check that was unused since no one wore coats this warm summer. Quickly Chuck grabbed me and began to kiss me but my mid was swimming with my thoughts and suddenly continuing this for a moment longer seemed like too much to handle.
"Blair, what wrong?" Chuck asked pulling back realizing I was not matching his kisses or his touches. It was only when he brought his thump up to wipe the tears from my eye did I realize that I was crying. "Babe talk to me," he whispered.
"I can't do this Chuck?" I admitted trying to step back but his arms were still wrapped around me.
"Do what?" the confusion displayed on his face.
"This…. Us. I can't. I want to find my match. I need to find my soulmate." I begged he would understand.
"What! Blair what are you saying. You always said you never needed that. Blair… you can't be serious."
"I was foolish. We may have fallen in love but this can't last. We cannot sustain this." My fears out there. Chuck released me and looked in shock at my confession.
"Blair. Stop. Blair you are everything to me."
"No. Chuck you said it tonight you want to find your soulmate," I said reminding him of his best man speech.
"Wha… ? Blair you are my soulmate," he said grabbing my hands. I held my breath and steady my voice internally commanding my tears to stop.
"No Chuck. You may want that and I want that. I want that sooo bad but we aren't meant to be."
"You told me that you did not need that. You said you wanted to be in love! To fall in love and not told who to love. Blair," he kicked the wall in front of him. "Fuck!" His voice had grown beyond a yell and I wondered if party guest could hear us. I only hoped the music was loud enough to stop our voices from carrying.
"I love you. You need to know that. More than I have ever loved anyone. But I can't live with the fact that one day someone may call and be your soulmate or mine. How can we leave through that! I cannot have you walk away- again," my voice broke with my last word but I able to hold back the tears that wanted to fall.
"Blair you aren't thinking right. Come on," he said begging me as he tried to pull me to him for kiss I pushed him back.
"I am. I know you want to marry me and I can't have you ask because it would be too hard to say no."
"I do want to marry. I wanted to for almost ten years. But I waited until I was ready to come back. I wanted until you broke up with that fucking loser Dan until he was matched with Vanessa. Do you know how angry I was when you went with him to be matched!" his voice roared and his words stuck me hard.
"What?" I asked meekly confused by his words and what they meant.
"You and the losers dated. Can't you see that I-that you and I are better together-" he began and I interrupted him.
"Vanessa? I never told you her name. Chuck stop speaking! I never told you hear name," I said interrupting him. As it became clear that Chuck knew more than he should. "Chuck, Eric told me that you own a part of LoVECHrome. Did you… could you fake those result. Did you have Dan matched with someone else?" I asked the dreaded question.
"Did you actually think hat toad from Brooklyn could be your match. You think I would do that?" he sneered. The anger and hurt clearly on his face.
"But you do own a portion don't you? How do you know her name" I asked again.
"Yes! Yes, I do. I admit I keep tabs are you because I love you," he tried to explain.
"Chuck I don't know if I believe you," I admitted. The trust that we had before was shattered in a matter of moments.
"Blair you don't understand I am your soulmate. I am your love match. Our lovechromes match," his voice trailed off at the end.
I stared at him confused as to what he was saying.
"Chuck… that's impossible," I said.
"When I was 15 my dad paid so I can find out my love match. Blair it was you. Its's always been you." The softness of his confession and the honesty I saw in his eye made me believe him but even still there was no way he would hide that from me for so long. Right? If he did how could he. The loneliness I felt for years, all the men I dated, my thoughts of marriage and happiness offered made me depressed.
I stepped closer to him. "You are lying" I slapped him across his face. The anger making my bone shake. "How can you lie about such a thing," I demanded. Honestly, I rather have him lie to me about this then the truth be that Chuck hid this from me. Since the first moment we were together almost ten years ago, our first kiss, our first sexual act together, since he came back from London, he knew that I was his soulmate and he hide it from me. The truth was too much for me to handle.
"Look at me. Look at me. I am not lying. Blair… I… I didn't want that then. I was in no state to love you back then. Remember how I was," he begged me to see his viewpoint. But I couldn't.
"How could you? You walked away from me… how could- For basically ten years I struggled with this. How could… no this doesn't make sense," I said shaking my head.
"Listen to me Blair. Let's go upstairs and talk. I am your match. Please understand, baby. I was going to tell you," he pleaded.
"No. I need to go. Don't follow me. I can't. I can't. My soulmate wouldn't hide it for a decade. How could you even claim to love me?"
With tears streaming down my face and a bowed head I fled the Palace for my mother's penthouse. I crawled into my bed my dress still on as Chuck's words replayed in my head. There was no way that we were matched. No way. I thought back to when he left all those years ago. Slowly I got up and walked over to the guest room that Chuck occupied when he stood here back then. This was where I lost my virginity to him. I stared at the bed hoping I will find some understanding. Some guidance for this moment. But nothing came to mind. Slowly I let his words sink in and all that past tonight come back to me. He knew about Dan and Vanessa, he owned LoVECHrome and he was my soulmate.
He was lost. In drug fueled haze weary from struggling against the arms of his father's guard. Once more he was caught. Here he was in the midst of the night in an office building in downtown New York awaiting the results of his love match. His father, Bart was advised that having something to live for was a key motivation in kicking a drug habit. He laughed at the thought but was aware that he was not breaking free from the three armed guards. So slumped in the seat he waited. At fifteen he was already warned that he would not be 'officially' in the system and the date would be wiped. But the chances of actually being matched to a person was going to be rare. Instead he would probably be presented with a profile of a mostly for his future match.
The employee of LoVECHrome was tense as he reentered the quiet room with clutching his pad as then sat down in front of his computer to see if the result had come through. His grasp alerted Bart to take notice.
"Yes?" a horse Bart asked tired from the day he spent searching the worse locations he could imagine for his son.
The man swirled the computer screen to show Chuck and Bart. There on the screen was an image of a young beautiful Blair Waldorf. The photo probably taken the day of her 16th birthday. She was the girlfriend of Chuck's best friend. She was perfect. He watched her for years and everything was more amazed by her. The large inflation he has suddenly made sense. Blair was the princess of the upper east side and Chuck slept basically in a crack house the night before. It was a riot. He would ruin her.
"No!" he yelled jumping up from his seat throwing the papers, commuter, and everything else off the desk. The guard quickly grabbed him.
"Chuck. Stop! What are you doing," Bart yelled embarrassed over the state of office.
"Not her," the young man broke into tears. "Anyone but her! Not her. I destroyed everything. I would destroy her. Not her!" he yelled. Sober or high his words were never more true. As her match the best thing to do would be to stay away. Chuck Bass was sure he would destroy her.
A.N: I hope that this chapter met everyone's expectations. Yes, Chuck and Blair are matched but since his profile was wiped from the system that night it was not really in the system so Blair was no contacted. Chuck never went back to officially be in the system because he did not want to be with Blair that way. He wanted to fall in love with her and vice versa.
Also I debated having Blair have a conversation with Bart at the wedding but I went with Johnathan instead. But I want to squeeze Bart in somewhere but unsure if I will be able to.