A/N: Okay, I lied. Not longer at all. Sowwie. :c

Birds of a Feather
Chapter 5

He saw her the following day around seven in the evening. She looked a little distracted, he noticed, but smiled at him all the same.

Which made him smile.

"Hello, Cullen," She said, coming up to him.

"Oh, um, h-hello. I… uh, am glad to see that your Harrowing went smoothly."

"Oh," she said, her smile fading a little. "Thank you."

"I, uh, I'm glad you're all right."

And then there was silence. And he found himself hoping that Solana's talkative elf-friend would suddenly appear from around the corner to fill the sound-void, or even whisk the mage away so that he might be saved from the feeling of trepidation that was beginning to prey upon him.

"Cullen," She said after a moment, "Would you really have struck me down? If I had failed, I mean."

And he started and looked up and was silent for a moment longer before turned his gaze, finally looking her in the eyes. "Yes."

"Oh…" She said repeated. "I see."

And then he turned away again, feeling as though he had just been dropped from a great height. "I would have felt terrible about it," he said solemnly, "But I serve the Chantry and the Maker, and I will do as I am commanded."

She remained silent and he felt a sharp stab of guilt. "It's my duty… As a Templar— I'm sorry."

And, for a split-second, he though he saw her flinch at the word.

"Don't be," she said.

He cringed at the brevity of her words.

And then she smiled at him. But it wasn't a smile smile; it was an empty one, made to fill the space that had amassed between them.

"Excuse me, I shouldn't distract you from your duties."

"Y-you're not distracting me," He said quickly, "Well, I mean you are, but… Y-you're welcome to talk to me a-anytime you'd like."

But she just nodded once and turned away. "Yeah… thanks."

And something told Cullen that she wouldn't be taking him up on his offer any time soon.

.X.x.X.

First her Harrowing, then Jowan.

She wondered why she even thought about questioning Elsie's all-knowledgeable source of information-gossip anymore.

And she allowed herself to let out the sigh that had been building up inside of her for days as she headed back to the Apprentice Quarters to fetch her things—her things that she should have been going to get to move up into mage dorms like most apprentices did after passing their Harrowing. Except she wasn't. Because apparently, she was an exception. Because most apprentices-just-turned-mages didn't get hauled away, their fate decided for them, for a journey to Ostagar with a Grey Warden named Duncan.

Because that, apparently, was her 'punishment' for helping the newly-found Maleficar, Jowan, escape.

Maleficar.

Jowan.

She shook her head, frowning.

She had tried to help him— really, she had. She knew that she was going against Circle rules—and risking her magic (and quite possibly her life) in doing so— but she had wanted to help Jowan… she had wanted to help her friend.

Her friend who had lied to her.

And used Blood Magic.

And gotten away.

And she was angry. Angry and hurt. She was angry at him for lying about practicing Blood Magic. Angry at herself for believing those lies. Angry at him for being stupid enough to practice it in the first place.

And, she was angry at herself for not being more angry about the way things turned out.

Because Jowan had escaped.

And she was happy about it. And though she did feel guilty, she couldn't help it.

Because she didn't want to see Jowan die. Or made Tranquil.

And even though Blood Magic was bad and Jowan was an idiot, she still considered him a friend. And friends didn't want to see each other killed. Or worse.

But then she finished packing her bag and her thoughts of Jowan were pushed away, replaced by worries about the daunting journey ahead of her. So, she made her way back to the First Enchanter's office where Duncan was waiting.

And on her way there she passed Cullen. She didn't look at him.

Though she thought that she sensed that he was looking at her.

And then she turned right; and whether or not she looked at him or he looked at her didn't matter anymore.

Because now she was leaving both the Tower and him for good. Now she was headed to Ostagar.