The Holy Smirk.
By Zess

Summery: Roxas and Axel have been flittering through people's minds for over three centuries now, stuck in a sort of warped immortality, searching for each other. If they find one another again, they can be together, but only if their host body's kiss. The clocks ticking down though, because every time they jump from host to host, they lose just a little bit of life, so this is their last chance. But the miracle of all miracles happens and they find each other! . . . Only to have their host bodies absolutely hate one another!

Other Stuff: Yaoi, AU, AkuRoku, Riora, Rated M for appearances, Language, I'm sure there will be angst in here some where. Maybe some other pairings if requested. And I don't own any rights to anything but this story.

Time: Why not today?

Place: South-Outland Bastion Institute. Not to be confused with North-Outland Oblivion Boys Seminary. I.e. - COLLEGE!

Players:
Sora- the class sweetheart and school hero (at North-Outland Oblivion Boys Seminary) Known for his all-star swimming abilities, and over-reactive nature, and obvious hate for Riku.
Riku- school badass though class hero (at South-Outland Bastion Institute) He is also known for his swimming abilities. Basically, The badass Jock and all of the stereotypes that go with. He is best known for pulling pranks, and his rivalry with Sora.
Axel- demented pyro who is looking for his long lost love, Roxas, so that they can live together as people again. Known for his catch phrases, obsession with fire, obsession with Roxas, and his chakram abilities.
Roxas- sarcastic punk who is also searching for his long lost love, Axel, so that they can live (yadda yadda yadda.) Known for his temper, his sarcasm, and his blunt nature. Plus he kicks ass.
(Sub Characters: These characters will not normally have their own POV segments)
Fuu- One of Riku's minions. Enjoys making small things suffer, and (besides Riku) hates the opposite sex. With a passion. Enjoys tormenting Sora almost as much as Riku does, and very rarely says anything more than a few syllables.
Hayner- Sora's best friend and confidant. Also attends North-Outland Oblivion Boys Seminary. Is currently dating Selphie.
Selphie- Hayner's girlfriend and a well known Riku fan-girl, who (unbeknownst to Riku) supplies Hayner and therefore Sora on Riku whereabouts and secrets. Attends South-Outland Bastion Institute.
Olette- Selphie's best friend and confidant and they are only seen apart when Selphie is with Hayner. Because of this, she has also become a Riku undercover agent. She is very quick with math, and loves English. Attends South-Outland Bastion Institute.
Pence- A computer genius, Pence has a major crush on Olette. Even though they attend different schools, Pence always finds a way to follow her around. Attends North-Outland Oblivion Boys Seminary.
Larxene- Dean of SOB Institute, currently sleeping with Riku's dad.
Xemnas- Riku's father and currently sleeping with Larxene. Loves terrorizing small things, and wants his son to be recognized as the best, no matter the cost.
Demyx- Axel's best friend, boyfriend to Zexion. Part of the Castle XIII Guard Squad. Fights with a sitar shaped battle axe.
Zexion- One of Axel/Roxas's friends, boyfriend to Demyx. Part of the Castle XIII Guard Squad. Is in charge of battle strategy.
Marluxia- Another of Axel/Roxas's friend. Part of the Castle XIII Guard. Messenger, and fights with
Others will be added to this list as the story progresses.

This is normal font
This is thinking font
'This is Roxas/Axel speaking font'
"This is Riku mind-speaking font" notice the TWO quotation marks.
"This is everyone else speaking font"

A/N: First of all, I just have to say wow. You guys (meaning my readers and reviewers) Effin ROCK! Seriously, I offer you guys my squealing fan girlish soul. I love you all so very much!!

And I'm so sorry to Setsuna Kurosaki! If I missed your name I give my biggest apologies!! You are awesome for reviewing!

So, for being such awesome awesome people, all of my reviewers may request an oneshot of their choice, any genre any pairing, any game/anime/anything. This includes L'ange D'air, LFO, Setsuna Kurosaki, Silver Shell, Spirit of Joy, What A Rubber Chicken, Drace-Hunter, Otaku Lady, Higuchimon, Olive Jay, and Twilight Fire Nobody.

Because you guys are the greatest thing since sliced bread!

And for the story, here is the first chapter of the double header that goes on today. It is a bit fluffy at some points, and then some angst (which is to expected since we all know they broke up eventually) It should tie in all the rest of the details that might have been left open ended about why Sora and Riku hate each other so much.

Um, because someone requested there was a bit more detail put in on the character development I will try my best! In this chapter most of all there will be tons of Sora Riku thoughts about everything, and how they feel now. For all of you AkuRoku fan girls and guys out there REMEMBER! This is a double header day! So there will be AkuRoku to the MAX in the next chapter (Which will be posted later today.)

So, uh, hope you enjoy! Oh yeah! And the flashback portion is only Sora and Riku POV (duh) the hard part to follow is that the first half of this chapter will be from Sora's POV and then the next half being sort of the same event from Riku's POV.

Okay Enjoy!

Chapter Six-

Dear Dairy: I Think I've Lost My Mind

Sora:

I sat on my bed. It was two hours before the meet, and I was just, sitting. That's it. No pumping, no screaming, no speeches. Just, sitting. I don't know why this mach was any different then all of the others that I had participated in, but maybe it was because it was against Riku. You have no idea how hard it is to hate someone and love someone at the same time. . .

Yeah, I said it. That lame ass four letter word that means utter death if spoken out loud. Love.

I don't think I've ever really denied it, just. . . Shoved it way back in my mind and tried not to think about it. Ever. I mean, how can you get over love? It's a little stupid to say I think. But, when you're heart's broken I can see why you'd want to try. But if it was real love, then I don't think it would ever go away. Sucks doesn't it?

I should have known this was how it would turn out from the start. Riku was a jock, and I was. . . well a jock, but I was different I swear! I'm one of those happy go lucky prep type jocks that everyone knows and loves. Handsome and sweet and kind and did I mention fucking RIPPED!!

. . .Okay, so my muscles aren't that spectacular, but can you blame a guy? Anyways, I was the happy jock, and he's the full-of-himself jock. I will grudgingly admit that he's kind of hot, but that is besides the point. What I'm trying to say is that it was doomed. Polar opposites and all of that good stuff. Because, we all know, that opposites attract only in sappy love movies, or Mexican soap opera. Yeah, my mom used to watch those a lot.

In all actuality I had known him for the greater part of my life. Yeah, I hated him back then too. He was the one that poured coleslaw down my pants in the eighth grade, I think I mentioned that? Well, after that I was home schooled for three years, and when I came back, I guess he didn't recognize who I was.

Anyway, we met again, not surprisingly, at a high school swim meet. He was for one team, and I was for another, but we never swam against each other. Our team was disqualified because one swimmer was trying to win via jet propulsion. Yeah I know, when did that become against the rules? But, of course, Riku had taken first place in everything he had entered.

Flashback:

Sora:

I was sitting beside the pool and cursing the mere existence of anything water related when a shadow fell over my exposed body. No I wasn't a stripper, I was wearing a Speedo you freaks! I looked up through my brown, beautiful, spikes to see none other than Riku Toboshibi, direct from the swimming pool, and still dripping water. I felt a jolt of awareness slither through my body when my eyes fell out of their sockets. Not literally. Here was Riku, the guy that had made my middle school career hell, looking at me like I was some kind of slab of meet. And I have to admit I felt a sort of lust? For the silver haired male standing over me. But like I was going to give into that primal of an emotion!

"Can I help you?" I asked in a bored tone.

"Did it hurt?" He asked, ignoring my first question.

"When I punched you in the face for trying such a pathetic pick up line?"

He laughed, and my breath caught in my chest. Everyone always told me that my laugh sounded like sunshine after a light rain. His laugh though, sounded like twilight, its darkness harboring untold passions and secrets. I really found myself floundering in the depth of his eyes.

Whoa, was I getting a hard on?

I shook my head to clear my thoughts and he offered me his hand. I took it and he anchored me up. Was I the only one noticing or was there small beads of water slowly making way down his chest? I gulped. Shit. . . I was getting a hard on. I pried my eyes away from his muscled chest as he held out his hand again. I raised my eyebrows at him.

"I'm already standing."

He laughed again, though this time with a bit more criticism.

"It's for a handshake shortie."

I took offense, though to the pet-name or the fact that I had been embarrassed I would never know. But I shook his hand anyways, my cheeks a little red.

"Riku Tomoshibi."

"Sora Makokoro."

His eyebrows snapped up underneath his mass of silver hair. It looked so soft, and shiny, I wondered what it would feel like to run my fingers through it, to get my hands entangled in it's masses. . .

"Wow Sora, you got hot while you were at home schooling." He almost exclaimed while he looked me over appraisingly.

I blushed bright red and tried to come up with some sort of witty retort, but for once none came to my lips. He seemed to notice and smiled a smile that could only be classified as seductive. I squirmed where I stood; knowing that if this continued much longer the world would know just how much Riku's smile turned me on. I mean, come on now, a Speedo isn't really the best at concealing that type of things.

He looked around behind his back, and it would be a while before I understood why.

"Care to join me for some coffee?"

I didn't know why I accepted, but I did, and started walking towards the locker rooms to change.

"Oh, well, I was hoping you'd just stay in your Speedo, but if you want to get naked in the locker rooms that's cool with me too." He told me as he waggled his almost transparent eyebrows.

I threw my towel at him, and ordered him to stay outside, but he came in anyways. If it makes me sound dirty, then just forget I said it, but I was kind of thrilled to have him stand next to me, his eyes hot, staring at me while I changed. No one had ever paid me this kind of attention, and no one could say that I wasn't turned on by it. When I had slipped out of my Speedo, and hastily pulled on my boxer-briefs he smirked, and advanced towards me. I shivered a little, and retreated until I could no longer, my back pressed up against the cold lockers. He rested both of his hands on either side of my head, and we both knew at that moment that the attraction was mutual, if only because his hips were crushed into mine.

I knew that things were going to fast but I couldn't protest when he slanted his lips sensuously across mine, couldn't stop my hands from rubbing against his still slightly moist chest. We ground our hips together, and he made a sort of soft growling sound, that I felt with my hands against his chest. He bit my lip, and I shivered, making slight mewling sounds. Our tongues intertwined in my mouth in what would be appropriately called a sexual onslaught.

Needless to say, we didn't ever make it to the coffee shop.

From that day on, we were inseparable. Well, at least to a degree. He had never told his dad that he was gay, or bisexual I suppose since he said at one point he liked girls. And even the fact that we went to different schools wasn't an issue. He would pick me up after school every day and we'd go and eat something from one of the local food places, or catch an afternoon showing of a move that we both agreed on. After that, he would come over to my house, and we'd spend most of the night just talking about stuff. Or making love. My parents already knew I was gay, and they thought Riku was almost as wonderful as I did. On the other hand, his dad didn't even know that I existed, in even a friendly manner. To this day I've only seen the inside of his mansion-like house once, and only briefly at that.

"Riku?" I asked one night, while we cuddled on my bed.

"Yeah?" He answered sleepily, rubbing his fingers up and down my bare arms.

"Are you ashamed of me?"

At that moment I was as scared as I had ever been in my entire life, because he paused. That pause lasted for almost all eternity. I couldn't stand it. But then he moved, from lying beside me. He sat up, and dragged me along with him, till I was looking deep into his eyes.

"Sora, I could never be ashamed of you. You're. . . You're so perfect, and you make my life so much better. I couldn't imagine life without you. I just can't tell anyone yet, they wouldn't understand."

Was that, was that almost a declaration of love? For Riku, I wouldn't mind waiting. I felt my insides turn to butter, and I almost literally melted in his embrace. He pulled me close, and I wrapped my arms tightly around his mid-section. He tilted my head towards his own, and I parted my lips for him as he planted the softest and sweetest of all kisses on my upturned mouth.

"Riku, I love you." I whispered against his lips after we had pulled apart to catch our breath. And at that moment in time, I did.

It was at my senior prom that things started to go wrong. It was two weeks after my own declaration, and up till then, things had been better than perfect between us.

"You're stunning," he said to me, eyes traveling over my tuxed body. We were sitting in the back of a rented limo, driving to my school's campus. He himself was decked out in a strikingly handsome black suit and a gleaming silver tie that accented his hair.

"So are you," I whispered, blushing slightly from the compliment. He leaned over me, pinning me to the seat, and began gyrating our hips together. By the time that we made it to the school, he had me moaning in sweet torture, and I must say that I managed to pull out a few groans from his mouth as well. But, when we felt the car come to a stop we hastily tried to right our skewed clothing before the driver opened the door for us. Stepping out of the sleek limousine we began inside. We stood close, but not hand in hand.

See, my whole family knew that Riku was my boyfriend, and of course my friend Hayner, but that was it. Everyone else at school just thought that we were best friends or something. I'm sure a few people has suspicions, but no one had approached me about the subject.

When we arrived inside, Riku was swamped with girls dressed in sleek and sleazy outfits vying for his attention. He looked apologetically at me, and offered one of the girls to dance. I understood, it had been like this at every dance we had attended together. To keep up our "straight guy" façade we would have to dance with a few girls first. As he expertly twirled the unknown girl around the floor I went to the refreshment table. Of all things they had to be playing one of those fast, fuck me songs.

As much as I didn't want to feel this way, I did. Jealous. Wasn't he holding her just a little tighter then was needed? Was he nearly dry humping her?! Why did he have to laugh at her jokes, or smile at her that way? My eyes were trained on the two of them the entirety of the dance. When he had dropped my unknown competition off somewhere else, you could say I was a bit angry.

"Sora," he whispered in that soft seductive way of his, but I was having none of that.

"What?" I snapped harshly.

He looked taken aback, and scanned my face with his eyes.

"What's wrong?"

"I'll tell you what's wrong," I hissed under my breath, stabbing an accusing finger at him. "You just had your hands all over someone else's body when you were supposed to be here with me! You're my date remember?"

"Sora," his eyes were pleading. "You know that we can't just dance here! People would notice. Don't you worry about your reputation too?"

"No I don't!" I cried. "All I care about is you, and me, and being an us. It hurts Riku when you're always flirting with other girls, and it makes me wonder how much you really care!"

My face was flushed with anger, and I don't know why I was getting so worked up, but I guess I had been holding in all these doubts for a while now. There is, after all, only so much a person can take of being the closet boyfriend.

"I do care!" He whispered back to me, equally upset, though for what I don't know.

"Then prove it to me!" I almost shouted. Thankfully, the song that was playing was upbeat and loud.

"Prove?" he said stunned, his eyes flashing with anger. "Fine!"

He grabbed me by the hand and before I knew what was going on he had dragged me out to the dance floor. When we had made it to the center of the floor, the D.J. put on, of course, a slow song. Riku wrapped his arms tightly around me, and began to move us around in a small circle. I was too stunned to do anything but let him lead. I was about to protest when the lights were dimmed to almost complete darkness save a few glowing candles on all the tables, and I was lost in the heat of his gaze. Our bodies were pressed flush up against each other, and with each step we were just getting closer. Like I always did when Riku was in such a close proximity to me, my mind began to get all hazy. All I could see was his face, and all that I felt were his hands, rubbing soothingly up and down my back, occasionally dipping into the back of my slacks and under my pressed jacket and shirt. The song was coming to the end, but I was so caught up in the moment, I would do anything just to hold him there for one more moment. I knew that we should separate before the lights were relit, though, so I began to do so, when a female voice split through the air.

"Riku??" There was an almost disbelief in that voice. I turned my head towards its owner when I was shoved painfully to the ground, cracking my head against the tiled flooring. I looked up in disbelief to find Riku's eyes not on me, but on a pretty red-haired girl on the arm of some large buff dude I recognized as the star quarterback for our football team.

"Kairi, I didn't know that you'd be here!" Riku said, flabbergasted.

"Riku what's going on?" The red-head asked again. I had no idea what was going on, and my head hurt really bad from hitting the floor. This was about the same time that my heart broke.

"Uh, oh, this fag was trying to cop a feel while the lights were low." Waving his hand vaguely towards me. But you're looking lovely this evening Kairi."

I Was Stunned. So stunned in fact that I couldn't even move from my spot lying sprawled on the floor. If I had been able to move, then maybe I could have been able to forgive him, but not after what I heard next.

The girl I guess who was named Kairi giggled in a purely feminine way, but for some reason, without any kind of flirt behind it. That was odd, any female around Riku usually turned into goo. . . Her mountain of a date was starting to growl in Riku's direction, and Kairi patted his arm affectionately. This behemoth was jealous? The pain in my head was worsening.

"Don't worry babe, Riku's my ex boyfriend, remember the one I told you about? We broke up like two months ago. Ha, don't even worry babe, it wasn't anything more then a couple one night stands. You're much better in bed anyways."

Two months ago. Riku and I had been dating secretly since the beginning of the school semester, in October. This was May. May. October. That was more then two months wasn't it? It. . . it was. I guess in pain my body found the will to move, and I flat out ran out of the stadium sized gym. I couldn't help the tears that fell down my face. Couldn't help the hurt that was blinding me, I just ran.

I guess he was faster then I was though, cause he grabbed my arm, and tried to pull me back. In a fit of rage, I swung my other arm around, and punched him as hard as I could in the jaw. It must have been pretty hard since he staggered back, and fell to the floor in confusion.

"Sora. . ." He whispered, as if he was in pain.

"Don't you ever say my name again!" I cried. "How could you do this to me?! I thought you loved me Riku but you've never even said it!"

"I never said that I loved you. . .?" He informed me almost silently.

But I never heard the question. All I heard was my heart breaking. "Oh, oh my. My mistake then. Next time when someone says they can't live without me I'll take it as hate then. You're nothing but a huge liar Riku! I never want to see your face again! I hope somewhere along the course of the night that girl's date kills you!"

I was outright sobbing at that point, so I turned around and fled, hoping that I would go home and close my eyes, and when I woke up, it would all be better. Little did I know, it was only about to get worse.

Yeah, I said it, worse. It was graduation day, and I had managed to ignore Riku entirely. No phone calls, no notes, no seeing of him in any way shape or form. It had taken a lot of tears, and heartbreak, but I had managed to completely wipe Riku Tomoshibi from my life. I still loved him, yeah, but I would never look at him again.

And yet here I was, sitting in the front row in my cap and gown, waiting to be called on to come up to stage when none other then the devil himself walks up to the microphone.

"Ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention?" He asked, in that seductive voice of his that just came naturally. I damned myself to hell and back when my heart fluttered inside my chest at the sound of his voice, the sight of his face. I damned myself for not being able to get over him. And then he made it so much easier.

"I'd like to inform you that the one you have all chosen to be your class valedictorian, none other than Sora Makokoro, is gay."

Sora:

Till this day I don't know why he did it, I can't imagine someone wanting to cause me so much pain. But he did, and here I am, sitting on my bed, only ten minutes till the meet, still loving him. Dear God, am I some kind of fool or what? I grabbed my swim gear and headed out the door. I would not be a fool, I would not be beat by that jerk. Today I would win, and put the past behind me.

Riku:

I stripped out of my pants, beginning to change into my swim gear, when it hit me all of a sudden. Sora's face. I don't know why I keep thinking about him recently, but I did. In a place that I had completely pushed to the back of my mind, I wanted things to go back to the way they were, but I knew that they never could, not after what I had done. . . Sora. . .

God, at one point in my life he was my earth and sky, or whatever those stupid romance novels say. He was just so, beautiful, in everything that he did. His eyes, his smile, and just the way that he did everything in life. He was such a relief from all the pressure and working and boredom that was my life before him.

Before Sora, I was just kind of an unfeeling robot. . .

When I saw him sitting on the side of the pool that day, I had known exactly who he was, and how much I had hated him before, but I couldn't stop myself from walking over to him. His body in that skimpy Speedo was alone more then I could resist. In the three short years he had gone from pudgy middle school kid, to a toned, tall, and sleek. . .man god? When he smiled at me that very first time, I knew that I had to have him, in any way that I could.

When we walked into the locker rooms, I told myself that I should take it slow, but there's only so much will power a guy can have when the embodiment of perfection was standing naked in front of you! We went to fast, but it felt so good, so much better then anyone else I had been with. There was something more with Sora then just pure animal lust, there were actual, feelings I guess.

In the weeks to follow I just couldn't get enough of the brunette. He was always so happy to see me, and not because I was hot, but because. . . Well because he liked me for who I was as a person. He didn't care about my money, or anything else, he just cared about me. And the only thing that he asked in return was that I love him. Of course I love him, who couldn't? He's. . . He's just. . . Sora.

But I was scared, I was so scared that it would just be some fleeting dream, and so I never admitted my feelings to him. I was so scared that this happiness would go away, that somehow I found myself screwing it up. I don't know why I did it, but a few months into the relationship that I had been searching for my whole life, I was in bed with someone else. A pretty girl named Kairi, who attended my school. I regretted it instantly, but. . . I just kept going back. I knew that one day Sora would leave me, I just knew it, so I could never stay true to him. . . I could never. . . No, that's a load of crap. I was just some stupid kid who was afraid of commitment, because I didn't want to get hurt. Funny how that works huh?

But when Sora had lain in bed, in my arms, and asked me if I was ashamed of him, I knew that the thing with Kairi had just been a big mistake, all of the doubting I had done, was for nothing. When he uttered those three words "I love you" I felt a joy unsurpassed by. . . well, anything! There was nothing in my life better then what I had with Sora, and there would never be. So I put the Kairi thing behind me, and vowed to be everything that Sora wanted in a boyfriend. Unfortunately, I was faced with my own "Coming out of the closet" I loved him, I loved him so much I ached sometimes, but I just couldn't take on all of my friends and family yet, I just wasn't strong enough. I had Sora, yeah, but. . . again I was scared.

I guess after that, God was just punishing me for being such a pussy. Did he think I didn't deserve Sora, because I couldn't give him all the love that he deserved? Well God was right.

When Kairi showed up at the prom, the first thing I thought about was myself, and I shoved Sora to the ground. I had never in a million years thought that they would meet each other. Never. And here the world was crashing down around me. When I was damned by Kairi's flapping lips, and Sora bolted, I chased after him, and caught him. When he turned, and I saw all the tears running down his face, I felt like a fool. And the worst person in the whole world. I wasn't even angry when he punched me, because I felt that I deserved it.

"Sora. . ." I didn't know what to say to make it better. But I had to try! I couldn't lose him. . . I loved him. I loved him so much that I would do anything for him! Anything!

My heart was breaking at looking at his tears, and I wanted nothing more then to take him into my arms and make this all go away.

"Don't you ever say my name again!" He cried. "How could you do this to me?! I thought you loved me Riku but you've never even said it!"

"I never said that I loved you. . .?" I was stunned. I had never said the words to the man I loved with all of my being? I must have! I must have somewhere. . .right?

But he must have misunderstood me because in the next moment he was screaming at me.

"Oh, oh my. My mistake then. Next time when someone says they can't live without me I'll take it as hate then. You're nothing but a huge liar Riku! I never want to see your face again! I hope somewhere along the course of the night that girl's date kills you!"

He turned around and ran, and I was too shocked to move. I felt tears, tears that I hadn't cried since my mother left, falling down my face.

"But Sora. . . I do love you."

When he ran away I felt hurt and betrayed. How could he just walk away like that? Didn't I mean anything to him? I knew that I had screwed up but I thought at least he'd give me some explaination, or a second chance. Wasn't I worth more then just abandonment?

And from there, things just got worse.

I guess Kairi had a bigger mouth than all the football players claimed, because the nest thing I knew I was being summoned into my dad's study. Fro one thing, I was scared out of my mind, along with being clinically depressed. It had been a few days since the stupid prom night, and nothing seemed to be getting better.

"You can't be gay."

Leave it to my dad to get right to the point. The statement itself was simple enough, but I knew better. If I tried in any way shape or form to convince my dad that being gay was a good thing, he'd have me disowned. Or worse. So I had to strike up a pose, and a cock grin, even though I was dying inside.

"Awe come-on dad, that was just some girl that I'd fucked and ran, trying to get the better of me."

He seemed to relax a little, but not completely.

"I want proof."

And now he had all the proof in the world. Yeah, I hated myself for publicly humiliating Sora like that at his graduation, but I really didn't have a choice. . .Or maybe I did, but it's too late now.

I pulled on my Speedo, and grabbed the rest of my swim gear. That was all in the past, and I was a new man now. Sora was different too. Today, I would finally prove to myself, and to the world that I was over Sora Makokoro by beating him into the ground. It wasn't healthy, this current obsession that I only admitted to myself in the dark recesses.

'Good luck,' whispered Axel in my head.

Yeah. . . I was going to need it.

A/N: Woo. . . Drama. My goodness.

Enjoy next chapter! Again, it will be posted later today in california time! Yay!

Dear Diary: Swimming Blows Chunks.

THE MATCH! Dun dun da! Axel and Roxas MEET! What will happen!??