AN: To all those who waited patiently for this, I am sorry. I really really am. I tried to answer people's reviews, some of you I've reassured that I will indeed continue this fic and here it is, the forever awaited chapter 6. This fic is practically back from the grave, so to compensate, here's finally some action. I hope this was worth the wait and yes, reviews really do motivate me. If it wasn't for all those people reminding me that this was wanted, I might've never been able to finish this. Thank you all.
Instinctively almost Ray shrunk back from the imposing figure towering over him. If only Bryan was not so tall, maybe he would not feel the physical inferiority so acutely. However, Bryan was very tall and Ray felt even smaller lying on the bed before him. His wits came around a little too late, but they did, he recognized the look on Bryan's face and that look promised him a great deal of ill. Ray blanched and crawled slowly backwards on the bed, if he had to run from here, he would run even barefooted. All that stuff about knowing what lay out there was forgotten in the moment of panic when he saw Bryan's gaze, so cold and piercing and filled with such cruel amusement.
Bryan watched him coolly, the panicked tremble of his hands, the jerky uneven movement of his feet, the fear drove him and fear did not create good conditions for reasoning. It was funny in a way, Ray never used to get so easily panicked; someone else damaged him after all. That just made Bryan's job more interesting though, he would just have to inflict damage deeper than that someone else, so deep that those scars would seem like scratches compared with the ones he inflicts.
Ray reached the end of the bed, he didn't want to look at the door because his eyes alone would give him away, but he needed to know if anything was in the way before he ran. Ray chanced a quick glance, his heart skipped a beat and he looked back. He almost thought that Bryan would move fast like lightning and strike him in that very moment he looked away. A false sense of security flooded Ray when Bryan didn't.
Bryan smirked again. Slowly he walked around the bed reached Ray and backhanded him hard across the face. He was smirking silently, proving his point. He didn't need Ray to be not paying attention, even fully alert, there was nothing in his shocked stupor that Ray did to defend himself.
Ray hissed. His face snapped to the side sharply and he heard his neck crack softly; he hopedthat he didn't hurt it. It stung. As a matter of fact, the place where Bryan just hit him stung very much, it almost made him lightheaded. It made him even more embarrassed than lightheaded though. So embarrassed that he didn't look up at Bryan again, he didn't want to see the snide smirk.
"I am going to say this once, do not disappoint me," Bryan spoke in that infuriating matter-of-fact tone of his "Do not try to run now, I promise you, you won't get far."
Ray clenched his fists on the sheets and his jaws, teeth grinding into each other out of barely suppressed anger.
"Didn't you want to play, Kon?"
Ray glared at Bryan's feet.
"Well?" Roughly Bryan grabbed Ray's chin forcing his face up, he wanted to see the enraged expression and the reddened by blush ,face and the fiery eyes narrowed to mere slits. Ray's voice no longer worked and the rest of his body was paralyzed, his face was the only indication at all that he still had any spirit left in him.
The place where Bryan's fingers dug into his skin burned like fire, it hurt! Hot, rough skin of his strong fingers, calloused from handling all kinds of illegal tools, gripped his face—vice-like. It wasn't beyblades that Bryan carried around with him now, Ray was sure of it, he wondered if those fingers became so rough from handling guns.
"Let go!" he tried to pull away but the fingers dug in stronger into his jaw.
"I will in a moment."
Ray looked at him surprised. Did he hear Bryan right? Was he actually going to let go of him this time?
"I have no need to hold you. You are going to do exactly as I say and here I'll tell you why." Bryan looked out the window. "Because if you don't, I'll decide that you are not an amusing enough stray to keep around."
Ray swallowed. If he went out wearing what he was, by afternoon he'd be already frozen to death and he couldn't hope that some kind person would help him. That kind of thing just didn't happen in this part of the city. He hissed realizing his helplessness. Bryan didn't have to keep him here by force, he might have to beg to stay yet!
Like promised Bryan let go of his jaw after smirking triumphantly at Ray's realization of his situation yet again. 'You will curse the day I helped you, Kon Ray.' Bryan thought in his mind.
"Get up." Bryan ordered. After a considerable hesitation where Ray's remaining pride battled fear and common sense the boy stood from the bed. It was helpful now, more fun that Ray could walk, with his foot healed. "Turn around." Bryan gave short commands and watched as Ray, very reluctantly followed them.
Ray felt like his body was stiff. Silently he bit his lips over and over again as he followed Bryan's commands. Inside, he felt all cold, horrified by what was happening, frozen to the very core by such a reality, on the surface, his face burned with living fire. He had to endure such a humiliation now that even if it had been possible to go back to the village, he would not dare show his tainted face there any sooner than when hell froze over.
He stood there staring straight ahead of him, Bryan was silent, he could feel him as a somewhat heavy heat radiating at his back. The moments of silence stretched where Ray's shoulders seemed to knot up with tension the longer he had to wait. He regretted opening his mouth to talk back to Bryan, one should know never to provoke a madman, he should know better!
"Don't move…." He stiffened even more and felt a shudder ripple up his spine when he felt the hot breath on his earlobe as Bryan spoke in a quiet, infuriatingly amused tone, straight in his ear. Ray bit his lip. Let it be over quickly, God, please let it be quick.
He felt large hands descend on his hips, slowly, the fingers dug into the flesh, they weren't bruising, it was hard to press hard enough to bruise when you weren't in a fit of some kind of fury, but Ray could feel them, so heavy, pressing right through the flesh as if to touch the bones.
He stayed still.
The palms of Bryan's hands felt hot, slowly the two hands slid up his sides, under his shirt, the hands seared his skin! Bryan couldn't see his face, Ray closed his eyes firmly balling his hands at his sides. 'Be quick about it…don't draw it out!' he begged in his mind, he was going to be humiliated enough as it was.
Bryan pulled the shirt up feeling his fingers slide over Ray's ribs, he felt Ray shudder a second time. Exited? Or just repulsed? Bryan's smirk widened…obedience was good. The slightly calloused flesh of his fingertips scraped over Ray's smooth skin, smooth and taught, pressed between his thumb and fingers in a grip. Bryan felt the change of texture rather than saw where his hands were, the much softer, yielding skin, a little loose as it dragged under his fingers. His hands stilled, Ray's nipples were small, slightly cool, they were starting to protrude.
He heard Ray suck in a breath through clenched teeth when he touched him there and for a moment thought that Ray was going to throw caution out the window and fight him, but aside from the slight trembling, no doubt caused by inner fury, Ray continued to be still.
Bryan's hands were almost gentle where Ray felt them linger now. Almost considerate, if it wasn't for how long it was taking them to move on. The slightly rough fingertips brushed a single light circle around them and then moved up pulling the shirt with them. If they stayed any longer Ray would have gotten used to the sensation and nothing embarrassing would have happened, but Bryan must've known that and withdrew just in time for them to rise. Ray flushed with shame when he realized that.
For a moment he wasn't sure what Bryan was doing, it seemed sensible to assume that the only reason Bryan's hands went under his shirt is to molest him somehow, but then Ray realized what was happening when his arms were pulled up by the tug of his shirt as it went over his head. Bryan actually had to exert some force because Ray was so tense and didn't realize what Bryan was up to for a moment.
Ray felt the cool air on his torso and tensed even more, he was getting nervous, Bryan wasn't really going to…was he?! He didn't have long to wonder about that, he felt the shirt instead of sliding off his arms tighten roughly around his wrists binding him. A moment of panic nearly sent him into an open struggle but before that could take place his legs were being kicked apart, and a knee pushed in the back of his knees, a firm hand down on his shoulder made him sink to his knees.
Ray reared up in protest. Bryan didn't let him rise though, he knew this was going to happen, Ray was not quite accustomed to this treatment to just submit. Bryan grabbed him by the back of his neck pushing his face down into the bed in front, pulling his arms a little back and straining his shoulders. A little pain should remind Ray. He watched the lithe body in front of him jerk a few times and tremble as for a moment Ray's muscles strained against the hold, and then the current of emotion in Ray must've subsided, he went still again.
Ray breathed heavily feeling his own hot breath as it rebounded from the sheet and against his face. The large hand on the back of his neck felt extremely firm, and further struggle threatened to dislocate his shoulders as Bryan pulled his arms back from lying flat on the bed. He felt his will to fight drain away, the hold on him was too strong and he had good smart reasons to endure. He wouldn't have to if he had been smart from the beginning, he reminded himself, but now this was all he could do. Endure abuse just to survive.
Bryan lowered his arms down letting go, but Ray didn't try to get up a second time, just hid his face between his arms, turning it into the sheet which he gathered between his fingers and clenched onto gripping hard, as if physically taking a hold of his emotions. His face was burning so hot, it felt like it would ignite. Ray breathed deeply now to steady himself, but he was only making himself lightheaded. Kneeling…why did he have to be kneeling? It was mortifying, it came to this, he didn't think he could endure if life with Bryan was going to be like this.
His back was cooling and he felt the hand that has previously let go of his wrists slide over it leaving it's warmth behind. Maybe if he relaxed just a little this will not be so unpleasant, he imagined it's worth if you fought it. It seemed like the only thing to do given that he couldn't overpower Bryan and was out of other options, but Ray honestly wasn't sure if making it easier on himself physically was worth the shame he was already feeling from the submission. Frankly, he was terrified.
That emotion increased when he felt Bryan looming closely over him and his knee pushing slowly between his legs, he was being lifted up on it!
Bryan heard Ray make a muffled noise of protest and saw him tense up again. His smirk widened, watching Ray struggle with necessity was amusing, but Ray was quite wrong about him. Bryan's moral standards were not sky-high, admittedly, but he wasn't a rapist. Rape was just not worth it, there was plenty of willing meat out there for that kind of thing.
He reached around Ray loosening the belt of his trousers and popping the button of his pants open. Bryan could see Ray starting to panic again and he tightened his grip on the back of Ray's neck a little in response.
"Stay still, I will not say it again…." He warned Ray and slid the zipper of his pants down. For a few moments Ray did master himself and stayed still, it was quite impressive, self control versus pride was a difficult battle to fight. But when Bryan pulled his waistband down to just above his knees Ray lost it again.
Ray couldn't handle it! This was wrong, in fact, it was wrong to just lie down and take it. He couldn't just sit back and allow himself to be raped! Necessity be damned, no one should have to endure such a thing!! He struggled trying to twist out of the hold. He survived this long without Bryan, he'd survive without him again, somehow!
The grip on the back of his neck became crushing. Bryan was now pushing down on him with his weight. He had the advantage. His bound straight arms were grabbed again and Bryan pulled back on them sharply. For a moment Ray thought of enduring the pain and continuing to fight but sooner than he expected it became obvious that if Bryan had to break his arms to push him into submission he would, and wouldn't hesitate to do so either. Bryan exerted his authority quickly and decisively and a few seconds since the start of his rebellion Ray had to scream
"No don't!!" he gasped feeling his shoulders about to pop… "Bryan please stop!" this was seriously dangerous! Bryan stopped pulling but didn't lower Ray's arms, he kept him suspended in this very painful position waiting. Ray was breathing hard, a bit of sweat was breaking over his skin, he felt clammy.
Realizing that Bryan was waiting to hear more Ray swallowed his pride… "L-let go…" his voice shook slightly from the painful strain "I'll stay still…" he breathed in deeply "I swear…" this just went from horrible to dreadful, but Ray had a sick feeling that if he hadn't made that rash promise Bryan would have broken his arms.
Yet still Bryan made no movement.
"Bryan please….!" What did it take?! Did he have to beg?!! Ray almost felt tears of frustration gathering at the back of his eyes but he would never let Bryan see them! He heard the man chuckle softly.
Bryan slowly lowered Ray's hands down and let go. He believed Ray. He let go of his neck too, lifting his weight up and stood back looking at him. Ray stayed down settling a little lower once the knee was withdrawn from between his legs. With a twinge of cold amusement Bryan realized Ray was trying to hide his naked ass from view.
"Hun…" Ray heard Bryan. He felt cooled now that Bryan stepped back. He heard him undoing the buckle of his belt and in his mind he kept a chant 'I promised….I promised him…'
A sense of despair washed over him, Bryan had wanted to do this ever since he brought him here, he's just been having fun toying with him till now. And then Ray went and opened his mouth and challenged him. Even if he got up and ran now, with his pants half-way down his legs, almost naked, Bryan could overpower him again just as easily. And then what, would it be more brutal if Bryan had to catch him? Would he get more pissed off? Ray was starting to feel the onset of hollow depression, a sort of numbness as he waited for Bryan to finish taking his pants off.
But there was no telltale soft sound of the falling fabric. Only the rattling of the buckle a little longer than necessary. Ray was starting to feel a little puzzled, he was about to chance a glance back at Bryan when he heard the swish and heard a loud crack. He cried out before he could stop him, the sharp sting told him what happened a moment later once silence was restored because the sound he made, he made only because he was startled. He could handle this kind of pain, and then it dawned on him.
Ray turned his head to look back at Bryan shock written all over his face. With wide eyes he stared at the belt wrapped around Bryan's hand and the smug smirk on Bryan's face.
'I said play, didn't I?' Ray never imagined that Bryan would twist his words into this. He felt like he was going to faint, his mind was wanting very badly to deny this was happening. He saw Bryan swing his arm again and flinched back, his eyes closing tightly shut as the strap of the belt left another rectangular red strip on his buttocks. He didn't cry out, if he made any noise at all it was muffled behind tightly shut lips. He breathed in through his nose feeling his face flush again; he was being whipped…ludicrous!
Bryan watched Ray's body jump and shudder with each blow. Actually, this was a rather delicious sight, Ray seemed to be still confused by the predicament. Bryan was starting to feel a tiny, still frozen, still too laced with plain amusement, seed of affection inside him, it was hard to have someone at his mercy like this and not to feel anything at all, at the very least he delighted in the cruel fun he was having. He swung again even harder making Ray cry out behind sealed lips, he was going to give Ray such a thorough trashing he wouldn't be able to sit tomorrow!
Ray was starting to feel his backside starting to burn, it was harder to keep quiet with every blow, Bryan was keeping the assault area pretty concentrated so that the repeated lash of the strap in the same place was leaving behind a sting that lasted a long time and was unbearable. The old sting was not gone yet before a new blow was dealt. His skin was getting no reprieve. It was so embarrassing, but he couldn't stop himself from squirming trying to avoid the strap, or at least make it fall on a less tender place.
Just as the pain in his backside was becoming unbearable, the blows started falling a little wider. Ray was practically jumping under each crack of the strap. He was riding a wave of adrenaline, Bryan's blows were evenly timed, he anticipated them now, and wasn't sure if that was good or bad. The pain also successfully whipped all thought of humiliation from his mind. His brain was focused on coping with the pain, avoiding the strap, anticipating the next blow, not on how he must look or sound, that shame was going to be left for later to realize.
The strap was now licking the sides and backs of his thighs, his sides and his shoulders. He no longer knew where it would land. It seemed to be taking forever, Ray no longer knew where he would be hit next, he just knew his body seemed to be being tossed around as he tried to jerk away from wherever the strap landed next.
Bryan's eyes acquired a telltale shine to them, speaking stories of sadistic pleasure. Ray no longer kept quiet or even tried to, he no longer tried to stay completely still either nor was he running away. It had nothing to do with his promise now, Bryan was sure, he just reached that point at which his mind was only on what was happening at the very moment. It wasn't such a great pain that it would make him mindlessly try to run away, it was just enough to stifle any proper thought.
And that was perfect. That was exactly what he had wanted to achieve, aside from amusing himself with Ray's misery, he wanted to finally start 'educating' Ray. Conditioning was a process, best to start early. Ray gave him just the excuse he had been waiting for to make the strong-willed guy a little more placid, and he had needed an excuse because it was just that much more fun if Ray only had himself to blame for it.
Bryan saw Ray arch off the bed with another sharp sound being torn from his throat, he was panting for breath now, it wouldn't be long now.
Ray felt like he was being pushed to some kind of limit, he couldn't endure this any more, his body was burning, his skin felt like it would peal! He dreaded every blow now, if he could just run away, but he promised and either way he couldn't! He wouldn't be allowed to. More and more, it kept mounting until quite suddenly a blow hurt so much that he realized he couldn't take it any more.
"Stop!!! Please no more!" his scream didn't sound like his own, it escaped thoughtlessly in the moment when his body rose from the bed under the last excruciating blow. His eyes filled with tears uncontrollably, it was just the sting, it kept the tears ready all this time, something a human couldn't quite help. But they spilled out when Ray realized that this was it, no more blows were raining on him.
He heard Bryan drop the belt and soft footsteps approach him almost silently. Ray was trembling with the effort to restrain the tightness in his throat from breaking, he didn't want to cry. He wasn't even that emotionally upset, and though his skin burned, that was nothing to be crying over…was he that embarrassed? Ray couldn't explain this reaction, he just knew that he wanted to. Was it frustration? Was it hate?
He felt the bonds on his arms loosened and they ached as he pulled them under himself to cover his crimson face. Sliding from the bed he sat on his knees in a hunched over position and then had to kneel up again, it hurt. His backside hurt so much he couldn't sit. Ray balled his hands pressing them against his eyes, horrible, this was horrible!
The bed moved beside him as Bryan sat down and then Ray felt an excruciatingly soft touch brushing his hair. The long strands tickled his abused shoulders and back, it almost hurt. Ray gasped. He breathed, deeply, slowly, he wouldn't, he wouldn't. He couldn't bear to have Bryan laugh at this. The hair tickled as it was being gently brushed from the back of his neck and then he felt a hot breath there and lips kissing the back of his neck, lower, kissing his welted shoulders, his bruised spine. Ray flinched and lost his cool. This was cruel! This was inhumane! How could Bryan do this to him and then dare…dare to touch him like this! The first sob came no matter how hard he was trying to stop it, and once that was free, the others followed. Like a flood, he felt himself almost choking as he cried.
He cried and he laughed at how pathetic he must look, bawling his eyes out for something so small, this wasn't even a real beating, he didn't feel like a real man crying for something like this. He couldn't stop himself. Ray half felt himself being lifted off the floor and placed fully face down on the bed. He wanted to pull away, he hated Bryan, hated, hated, HATED him! Just, he didn't have any strength left in him, he was all drained.
He rode the wave of emotion faintly feeling that Bryan was still running his fingers through his hair. Ray never thought of stopping him physically. What was the bloody point of stopping him from touching his hair if he just did…did that to him. He simply couldn't, he was that helpless, Bryan said stand, and he stood, Bryan said kneel, and he knelt, Bryan said stay still while I beat you and he stayed still. Ray cried louder.
Bryan observed. He was quite satisfied that this outflow of emotion came sooner rather than later, Ray must've been feeling very tense for a while now, he made sure he had been. He would feel better once he was done and he wanted him to relax, to feel better, to become even more vulnerable. He kept petting him because he knew he could. Ray was in no state of mind to protest, and this touch would stick with him, impressions were made easily on a mind softened by such an experience.
Bryan kissed the back of Ray's neck again gently running his fingers over Ray's back and feeling the risen welts all over. He felt Ray flinch and let out a louder sob even as he shuddered. Bryan went back to just petting him. Oh this went simply wonderful, the marks on Ray's body were delicious, with the softest touch he could make him flinch and shudder.
He didn't say anything for a while, not until Ray's sobs gotten quieter.
"Go to sleep now…pet."
He stood up, pulling Ray's pants off of him and threw the cover over him. Ray hardly opened his eyes in response to his words, but that was just fine, he must've exhausted him nice and good, Ray was like putty in his hands right now. He was going to leave him alone for now, Ray might think this a mercy now, but later, that would be precisely why he would regret it.
Ray didn't move. Now that he was still lying with a cover over him, he felt like he was made of heated stone. It was simply impossible to move. He felt so drained and exhausted, physically, emotionally, mentally. The tears were drying on their own in his eyes and now he was starting to feel a cold empty kind of calm settle over him. He was drowsy, just on the edge of sleep. He didn't even react when Bryan yanked his pants off.
He listened to Bryan pick up his belt, go to the kitchen, dress, leave the little apartment. And then he was alone and for a while he just drifted, pet….he felt a bit like an animal. But he didn't go to sleep. Maybe a spark of self was not beaten out of him, but unfortunately it was just large enough for him to open his eyes some fifteen minutes later, the momentary reprieve of emptiness exhaustion brought, gone, to realize how miserable he was.
How helpless Bryan made him feel.
How shameful.
How cold inside, and yet, now that it was over, he was too tired to even be angry at Bryan, he just felt a sort of lethargic dull misery inside and the only thing he could really grasp onto to be angry at was the fleeting gentle touches and kisses just before Bryan left him alone.
Bryan did that on purpose! There was no kindness in them, no gentleness. Ray knew better! But in the moment when the pain and shock left him vulnerable and spent, Bryan dealt a blow to him with those soft kisses, gentle hands the kind he could never deal with violence. Just like Bryan had wanted, on a softened mind, his hands and lips left an impression. Ray remembered, and when everything around was miserable and painful, they were there at the moment of reprieve.
Ray felt the deepest shame yet, because in the time of aggression, he had craved gentleness, he was given a taste of it, false as it was and having gotten a taste he wanted more. He closed his eyes feeling a still tear dislodge itself from the corner and roll down his face.
He felt like Bryan planted a seed of evil in him with those hands, a seed of shame. He knew, and he knew that Bryan knew, that he has already lost a battle that was only starting, and even still, he would fight, he was still not past fear, not past the shame, he had to fight for them, he couldn't just let Bryan destroy them…him.
Laying all sore, and getting more sore from immobility, Ray did finally slip into sleep and his sleep was deeper than he would have ever thought possible. He didn't hear Bryan come back, not alone, with others, didn't hear the quiet voices and cold chuckles, or the few pairs of feet as they left again.
He was awake again when Bryan came back late that night, he pretended to be asleep and either he finally succeeded, or Bryan didn't care, he was left alone staring at Bryan's back , lying just as still. He felt dread of this man, stronger and stronger, the trepidation at the thought of this man only grew.