I don't post often, I'm sorry. Once more, thanks for the alerts and faves, I enjoy reading my email after I post and see new adds. Thanks for the reviews, those of you who reviewed, and please review!!!! for those who haven't. I really appreciate when you tell me what you think. It helps, I promise. I'll try to respond to all of them too. So, for my lack of updates, here is a lovely 2,542 word chapter. (In my defense, it took a long time for me to figure out how to keep this consistent cause there's so much going on in my head, and I couldn't find a good spot to end the chapter, hence the 2500 words. The end of the chapter isn't very good, anyway, but I'm writing the next one already, so stay with me). Love you guys.

PianoAddict246

Monday morning, I felt it. The ultimate frustrating feeling that time has betrayed you. It was the feeling that life just didn't have a focus anymore.

I had had this feeling before. The feeling of…routine. That's what it was. Routine. Everything felt routine.

I heard Charlie pull out of driveway and pulled myself out of bed. After peering out into the gloomy fog settled over the street, I headed into the bathroom for a hot shower. Funny, I thought as I stepped under the steaming stream of water, I haven't felt the routine feel since…well, since I started dating Mike my sophomore year. Before I started dating Mike I was always pretty focused on just school, my classes, specifically. I had friends, I had Angela, and Ben talked to me by association with Angela. Angela was incredibly nice and easy to be around, but she seemed to understand my need of solidarity. I just felt more comfortable not getting attached. Now I had Mike. Though I was pretty positive I wasn't completely well-liked by his friends, with the exception of Tyler Crowley and possibly Jessica, I had Mike, who had helped me transition into his circle of friends. Angela and Ben came with me, though it seemed they transitioned more smoothly than I did. Lauren never glared at them. I huffed. Oh well.

I scrubbed my favorite strawberry shampoo into my hair, relaxing under the scent. Mike. I sighed audibly. I really hadn't thought I would meet someone who would change my outlook on love after Renee and Esme. When Renee left Charlie years ago, I learned that getting too close could only hurt you in the end and that was only reinforced after Esme left and took Edward with her. That all ended when I met Mike, however. I was sure Mike loved me. He reminded me constantly. Still, now that I thought about it in the privacy of my bathroom, I felt something was missing.

For some reason, Edward's face appeared in the forefront of my mind. Why would I think of Edward all of a sudden, when I was just thinking of Mike? I bit my lip in thought as I stepped into the sudden cool of my room wrapped in a towel. I retraced my thoughts. Mike, loves me, missing, Edward. Okay, that wasn't helpful, but it would give me an order in which to think of things.

I glanced at the clock and was horrified to see it was already 7:30. I had taken way too long with that shower. Dressing quickly in a green long-sleeved shirt and jeans I shoved my feet into brown ballet flats and grabbed my messenger bag. In the kitchen I grabbed an apple and the keys to my Chevy pickup. I swung the door open to find it was already beginning to drizzle. Damn it, I thought before heading out. I reached the warmth of my truck and shoved the key into the ignition and turned it. The car roared and then nothing. I tried again; it sounded like it was choking. "Grrr," I growled out loud. With another grunt of frustration I threw open the door and stomped out into the rain. It was beginning to rain harder. Just what I needed.

I popped the hood and looked inside. I was completely clueless in the car-fixing department but maybe if I just tug a few cords or tighten something…Oh, give up, Bella. You're late for school and you can't fix the car. What was I going to do? I guess I could call Charlie, but I didn't want to do that. Maybe just not going today was an option? Why did I have to pick today to decide to drive myself to school?

In the distance beyond my pissed-off thoughts I heard the sound of car tires. There weren't too many people that lived around here. Most of them would have left for work by now. I walked out to the edge of the driveway and a silver Volvo slowed in front of me. Why me?

The window rolled down and I blushed furiously at the situation. "Do you need a ride?" Edward looked like he was holding back a smirk but when I glared he composed himself quickly.

"Something's wrong with my car," I shouted over the rain.

He paused and just looked at me like I was stupid. "Well, are you gonna get in or not? I'm running late, too."

I looked at my truck. My traitorous stupid truck. I could just skip school today. Or you could ride in Edward's car and stop being an idiot. I looked back at Edward, waiting patiently for my decision. What worried me was that I wanted to ride with Edward. I sighed in defeat and grabbed my stuff out of my truck. I felt bad for messing up the Volvo's car seat. It seemed so clean and shiny; Edward didn't need me muddying it up. But when I turned to apologize he was looking at me with concern.

"What?" I asked, confused by the expression.

"Nothing, just…you okay?" He peeled out of the driveway at a speed much faster than I would have liked, but we were running late.

"Fine, why?" I snapped and instantly regretted it; he cringed a little at my tone.

"You just look…frustrated. Troubled." His green eyes held mine for a moment before he turned back to the road.

"Well, I spent too long in the shower, and my car just died, and I have a lot of stuff on my mind." I added the last part without thinking.

"Do you want to talk about it?" In the warmth of his car, Edward's voice sounded so smooth and rich, like honey, I thought. How come I never noticed how different he sounded than other guys? How more…mature.

"Um, I'm okay, thanks." I looked at the clock on the dashboard and gasped. "It's 8:15 already?" I moaned and ran my hand over my eyes. Then I remembered. "Oh, hey, I'm really, really sorry about Charlie the other day, he just…"

"Moved on. It's fine, really." He gave me a small reassuring smile and I stared too long.

He drove in silence while I silently swore I'd destroy my truck when I got home. I heard Edward groan and looked up. "What?"

"The only parking spaces are far away."

I giggled at his distress. "So?"

"So," he exhaled dramatically, pulling into an available space, "I hate walking in rain." He paused for a moment and laughed quietly. "Yeah, I guess it's kind of stupid."

"Well," I said, unable to disagree. We both sat there staring at the clock.

"First period is a third over."

"Yeah." I looked at him and he looked at me.

"I'm not gonna try and catch up in the middle of class," he said.

"I won't try either. Doesn't make sense." I couldn't think of a logical excuse to stay in the car with him; all I knew was I felt drawn to him as I sat there, a drowned cat in a green sweater, and suddenly wanted to tell him everything. Just everything, from when he'd left to when he'd come back. So I started. I told him about my mother left before I'd met him; about how I felt after he'd left; about Mike and how I changed after he'd walked up to me that day in the cafeteria; about how easy it was to be around him; and I slipped up about how I felt something was missing.

"What do you mean?" Edward asked. He'd been listening patiently since I started talking.

I sighed. "I didn't mean to tell you that. I don't know, really. I just…" I looked up into Edward's face and observed how his piercing eyes looked at me so intently, how his hair seemed more disheveled than usual and still fit him so well, how his lips were parted infinitesimally, how the breath that slipped from between those lips smelled like mint and sugar. I wanted to close my eyes and just sit in the comfort his presence gave me.

"How long have you and Mike been dating?" he asked softly, pulling me from my trance.

"Since the middle of sophomore year."

"And how far have you gone?"

I froze. "You mean…?"

He chuckled, "Yes, Bella."

I felt the familiar blush creep into my face. The truth was we hadn't gotten far at all. The one time we let things get a little heated he ended up with his hand up my shirt, and then he'd pulled away, apologizing profusely for his actions. I thought he'd been apologizing to me, but when he told me I was "too tempting" and he was saving himself for marriage, I figured he was talking to God.

"Bella?"

"Not far," I mumbled.

Edward sat back against his seat. "There's your problem."
I looked up confused. "What?"

He looked at me sideways. "You can't build a relationship solely on an emotional base, as much as people would like to believe that. You have to be attracted to one another."

"We are," I huffed.

"Really? Then why haven't you tried harder to get him to make you happy?"

My mouth fell open. "Because, Edward, I would be making him unhappy."

The serious look in his eyes worried me a little. "No perfect boyfriend would keep his girlfriend unhappy. (A/N I decided Mike would be the source of Bella's 'frustration' this time around)"

My arms folded over my chest and I stared out the window at the rain. "We all have to make sacrifices."

"I know," he said under his breath.

The clock said 9:00 and I picked up my bag from the floor. "Second period."

When he gave me a last glance, his eyes had the same sorrowful expression I saw before he left my house last Friday. I bit my bottom lip as I got out of the car, briefly noticing the rain had let up. Had I said something? If anyone should be sad it's me, now that I was thinking about my love life, or lack thereof.

Lack thereof. Was…was that it? Was it really about the no-sex policy or was it more? I did feel frustrated, I admitted, but when I thought about it Mike showed no signs of wanting me; at least, he didn't act like a boyfriend of nearly two years. And I'd clearly expressed my want for him multiple times only to be rejected.

"Edward!" I called after him, running up to catch him as he had walked off without me (much to the disappointment I wouldn't admit to). He turned in question.

"Look, um, I'm sorry I was rude, I just…" I struggled to find the words that would get that smile back on his face but I gave up. "Thanks."

He nodded without a word but he walked beside me towards the school.

I could not focus on anything my history teacher said, or my math teacher, or personal finance instructor, and I managed to whack three others and myself with my badminton racket. Mike laughed it off and told me to stop swinging; the other two, Jessica and Lauren, were not so forgiving and snickered at my attempts the rest of class, as well as at lunch, where Mike, once again, failed to see the malice radiating from their eyes.

In Spanish, we were watching a movie ("si, en Español, Señorita Swan") so I decided to ruminate over earlier this morning. First off, The Feeling. The routine feeling, I thought, couldn't be that unusual. School was just so consistent and boring. But after what Edward had brought up that morning, I wondered. Could this have anything to do with Mike? I always felt content around him, but if I was being honest with myself the fact that we never took our relationship any further physically added to the fact that we lived in Forks, so excitement was out of the question, our relationship itself was routine. Was I unhappy? I didn't think I was unhappy. I didn't feel unhappy. But I certainly wasn't happy.

The bell rang and I switched classes. Composition was probably the easiest class I was enrolled in, besides Biology, and the essay we were supposed to write was done well before time. Instead of reading East of Eden, as the class was instructed to do after finishing, my wandered.

So I decided I wasn't unhappy, but I wasn't happy either. Where would I go with that? I was in a position that girls would kill (me) for: the girlfriend of the most popular hottest guy in school. But do you really want that? I was stunned by this thought, completely confused as to where it came from. Of course I wanted that. Didn't I?

The image of Edward's smile made an appearance before I could answer. I wasn't sure if I did want it or not. That was my problem. Of course I loved Mike. He was cute and sweet and funny. But the fact that he hadn't tried to take things physically made me think that maybe he didn't love me the way I thought. Which in turn made me question whether I wanted him to love me that way. No, you don't. Where in the world did these thoughts come from? I didn't love Mike. I. Didn't. Love. Mike. Wow.

Slowly, anger seeped into my body. Now I was definitely unhappy. Edward had to tell me this, didn't he? I was fine living my life the way I was. Why did I talk to him? I was seething as I stormed to Biology, preparing myself to tell him to leave me the hell alone and all that.

My willpower, however, crumbled into a fine dust as soon as I set eyes on Edward, sitting in the back, laughing at something Ben was telling him. Even from where I stood near the door I could see his green eyes light up. How could I be upset with that beautiful boy? As I walked to my seat, humbled and ashamed, I looked up when he said my name.
"Bella, you still look like a drowned cat." That is exactly how I could be upset with him. I wanted to wipe that annoying smirk off his face. He laughed at my reaction and joined by Ben who quickly retreated at my glare.

"Thanks for that," I muttered under my breath as class started.

"Relax, Bella, I meant it as a joke." He leaned back in his seat and stared at me for a long time.

After a while I got uncomfortable. "What?"

"Honestly?" he breathed, his face hinting at a flush.

I tore a sheet out of my notebook and wrote.

Yes.

He paused a moment before writing, the flush creeping higher into his cheek.

Noticing you look prettier than you used to. I wasn't sure that was possible.

It was my turn to blush.

Even the high-n-mighty Edward Cullen can be humbled. (Think I didn't notice the red in your face this time?)

He glanced at me and leaned over just enough to whisper in my ear. "What can I say, sometimes all it takes is a beautiful girl."

What do you think? I was curious and I'm still wondering, should I keep Edward slightly arrogant yet still sort of sensitive being around Bella, as he is now, or should he be edgier? I always thought an edgy Edward Cullen was hot, but I would love opinions.

PS. Twilight out Saturday!!! Is anyone else having a movie night or am I just that uncool to sit at home with my friends and watch Twilight on Saturday night?