Katerina. Katherine. Kat.

Katerina, when she was at bar and feeling exotic when a guy asked for her name.

Katherine, to most of the world. Fearless Katherine with her acid tongue and a warm heart that she let almost nobody discover.

And then there was just Kat. Kat, who when I was seven, had relieved a girl of tench inches of her hair, armed only with blunted classroom scissors, because the girl had taken to pushing me over every lunchtime. Kat, my sister, the last of my family.

Just someone who craved to be unconditionally loved probably more than anyone else I knew.

And now she may never-.

I choked back the sob hovering in my throat and forced myself to breath. Maybe, I had misread Damon's cryptic revelation.

Maybe, it didn't have anything to do with what I thought it did. Maybe, I had read him totally wrong. He could have had even only said it because he wanted to me to worry over nothing.

But Damon had never been cruel. Not like that.

I leaned back onto the the iron headboard of the hotel bed and finished the fifth voicemail I'd left since I'd arrived.

"Kat, If you could just-," I massaged my temple with the tips of my fingers. "Pick up your phone. Please." Trying to keep my voice casual, I implored, "At least let me know if you've landed in Atlanta yet."

After hanging up, I slung my phone away from me- hopefully with it landing in the vicinity of the mattress I was laying on- and wiped at the smudged mascara under my eyes. Moving my head down, I burrowed into one of the pillows provided and stared at the clinical clock-alarm on the bedside table, the red numbers blurring back at me

Perhaps this was all some bad dream and when I got up again I'd be back in Italy and everything would be normal.

I must have finally let the turmoil of the last couple of days catch up with me because the next thing I remember is being abruptly awoken from a fitful nap by screeching coming through the window from the street below.

"Fuck. You. Ric."

I yanked a sweater on and stuck my head outside, looking down to see my sister. I should have expected as much.

Katherine was stood on the sidewalk shoving at Alaric's shoulders and snarling out some words that I couldn't quite catch. Then when he put out a hand on her arm to doubtlessly calm her down, she wrenched out from under his grip, and after taking back her suitcase, charged out of my view from the window, leaving him behind.

Ducking back inside, I stood in shock for a couple of minutes. Alaric was so mild-mannered. So easy going. What could he have possibly said or done to make my sibling fly off the handle like that?

I didn't have to wait long to find out because it wasn't even another five minutes before a loud spurt of hammering fell on my door.

"Katherine," I hissed, after sprinting to try and stop the inevitably of her getting us thrown out after waking up the whole hotel. "Get the hell in here and shut up." I took a peek down the long hallway and then pulled her inside.

Staring after her in disbelief, I watched as she sashayed in with her customary poise and tenacity, not even letting the crutches hinder her much anymore.

"What?" She glanced back at me, lazily lifting an expertly shaped eyebrow. "Stop blowing everything out of proportion." Her cell vibrated in her hand and after looking at the screen, she sneered. "And what in the world was so important you felt the need to clog-up my voicemail box."

Dumbly, I couldn't even put my mind straight enough to think about what I wanted to ask her about first.

"Ric,…but" I stuttered and then tried again, firmer this time. "What was that?"

Katherine's nose scrunched up and she looked at me like a teenager would look at their parents after they had been horrifically uncool in some way.

"That was nothing," She rolled her eyes and amended. "Or, that was your friend not knowing how not to act like a normal straight human man."

"Did he hurt you, Kat?- Because-"

"No he didn't hurt me, Elena. I'd like to see him try. He looks like couldn't bench press a can of soup. Don't be so ridiculous."

I exhaled and closed my eyes, sitting back onto the bed.

"It really was nothing, 'Lena. It's just for the best if he stays away from me. That's all. He wants what I can't give anymore." Her voice became less sardonic before she masterfully changed the subject. "Anyway, how's the jilted groom doing?"

When I peered up again, my sister had already obtained from somewhere a large bottle of Merlot with a very expensive vintage. As she managed to pull out the cork with her immaculate french-tipped nail, still looking sophisticated while doing so, it all came flooding back as to why I was so upset in the first place before she blazed back into town.

"You remember when we were at the hospital the other day?" I started steadily, ignoring her former query and focusing closely on my sister for any change in attitude. "Did the doctors say anything to you? Like making sure your keeping up to date with your check ups back home and that you're happy with the medications they're having you take?"

Even turned half-away from me, I recognized instantly the chill of stillness that rolled over Katherine.

"What made you want to ask that, little sister?" Katherine demanded, with all lightness gone from her tone and a withering look on her features. She stalked closer and pointed at me with the open bottle. "Little out of the blue, don't you think?"

"I mean you'd tell me if-" I swallowed painfully.

"If what?" Katherine prompted, practically spitting her words. She stood riveted at me while I soundlessly tried to come up with an answer, trying to verbalize what I could barely even put into thoughts.

"If- If you thought you might be getting sick again."

The change was instantaneous and dramatic.

"That son of a bitch," Katherine seethed. "What do you know? What exactly has Damon told you?

She took a long swig straight from the wine bottle without losing eye contact with me.

"He didn't tell me anything," I soothed, rising so I could be nearer to her. "Not really. And if you have any love for me, you won't persue the route I know your mind is already working out to take. He did nothing illegal or-"

"He has to take oaths against that sort of thing, Elena." Katherine interrupted. "I could cause hell for him."

"For doing what, Kat? You're reaction has told me way more then he ever did. Leave Damon out of this. Promise me."

The fight seemed to leave her body. Her arms fell limply to her sides and she shook her head. "I made that asshole swear he wouldn't even breath a hint in your direction... Fuck! You weren't supposed to find out."

"Find out what?" I exclaimed frantically. "Will you just tell me something straight for once?"

"Fine," Katherine nodded, a rictus grin on her mouth. She looked away before beginning to explain. "When we went in for my ankle-" Here her voice hitched almost unnoticeably before continuing again. "When we went in for my ankle some of the test results that came back the doctors weren't happy with. There were some abnormal-"

"Abnormal what?" I breathed.

Shaking her head, Katherine replied "You know what? It doesn't matter. The cancer is back. They know it, I know it. What you saw at the bridal shop the other day was Damon begging me to go back to the hospital so they could do some more tests. They know I haven't been going to my appointments in Italy."

It felt like my stomach was turning itself inside out.

"What's the point thought?" Katherine asked angrily. "Damon was feeding me some bullshit like we don't know for sure that's whats wrong with me. Jesus, does that man ever think about what he's saying? I know the signs. Exactly like the first time we did this dance. The weight loss. The exhaustion. I know my own body well enough to know whats going on without a piece of paper and a doctor with a fake sad look on his face."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I whispered furiously. "You're refusing to find out what's wrong with you? Even if it is the cancer we need to know now so we can start fighting it again. You know how important time is."

"So we can fight it? I'm sorry, I don't really recall all of your hair falling out. Or you being the one to never being able to stop vomiting." My sister's eyes turned flinty. "By some stroke of dumb luck I escaped it the first time. I'm not sweet and good enough to get the chance to be able to outrun it a second time."

How I reacted to her now was critical, otherwise there would be no changing her mind.

"Don't you do that, Kat. You've never given up. You're not going to now." I begged, "If you won't do it for yourself, do it for me. We can go right now. I'll go with you."

"I was living on borrowed time as it is, 'Lena." The sadness had now trickled into her voice. "You have to accept that some time, probably soon, I'll be gone. Poof. Just like mom and dad."

Swiftly the mask was back in place, and she straightened her spine while purposely walking over to grab the highest Louboutins she could hunt out from the closet. "Now, I intend to live while I still can, so I propose we go out and get outrageously drunk and find the two hottest men in Atlanta to bring back and have some fun with. And then, at the end of the week, after you make sure Stefan doesn't want to pull a Sylvia Plath anymore, we can fly back to Italy and everything will be A-okay."

It felt like nothing would be okay ever again and Katherine was more delusional than ever if she thought I was going to ignore that and act like everything was apple-pie fine.

Pretending like I was in agreement, I walked up and took the bottle from her-which surprisingly was still almost full- and twisted on my heel to walk away, straight towards the door. Pausing only to take my purse, I articulated my explanation and tried to ignore the flash of hurt in her eyes. "I'm not going to stand by and watch you stick your head in the sand. Not tonight."

I burst out of the lobby and onto the sidewalk and just began walking aimlessly. God only knew what the few other people in cars and on foot who passed by must of thought of me. Walking around that time of night, cheeks make-up stained, while half-heartedly trying to obscure the bottle of wine I was holding.

I had no capacity to pay attention to how much time was going by, so when the phone rang out from my purse it could have been anywhere from eleven at night to three in in the morning.

Seeing Damon's name flash up at me from the screen, I hit ignore as much as possible before I realized he wasn't giving up and had to answer.

"Now's not the best time, Damon."

"I know it's late, Elena, and I'm sorry. But Stefan found out- well actually I told him in a regrettable attack of honesty- that we'd known about Lexi cheating before the wedding and he totally lost it. Trashed the place and then hightailed it out of here. That was hours ago. I'd hoped you had seen him or something."

I hadn't even spared Stefan a thought since Katherine had come back and I doubted my body could take much more emotional upheaval. But, hey, maybe delving into the Salvatore's problems would take my mind off of potentially the most devastating one of all.

"Nope, sorry. Haven't seen him since you left me earlier."

He cursed and then was quiet for a beat. "Okay, well, thanks anyway."

"Actually, Damon. As much as I hate to admit it, you'd be doing me a big favor if you let me help in some way. I could look around for him a little? I'm out already."

"Elena, I don't know if working with all those models has caused your IQ to plummet several points, but if you think I'd ask you to mosey around a city you don't really know anymore, at night, then we have problems."

You bet my ass we had problems. "Forget it, Damon."

"Hold on," he requested hurriedly. "If you really want to help, come over here and wait it out with me. And then when he comes back you can help me talk him down from the inevitable ledge he's probably made for himself."

I thought about what was waiting for me back at the hotel. "Yeah. Yeah, you know what? I can do that."

After promising him to take a cab, but walking over anyway, I found Damon's apartment from his directions pretty easily. I guess I had remembered the city better than I, or Damon for that matter, thought I would.

The doorman must have been notified of my arrival and I was let straight in, riding a spacious elevator all the way to the penthouse.

"You got here fast," Damon warily observed, squinting when he opened the door and stepped back to let me in.

"Those Atlanta cab drivers are just first class," I tightly smiled and walked over the threshold casually, choosing to ignore the foreignness that was occurring from stepping foot inside. Taking a moment to absorb my surroundings, I could tell Damon's home was pretty fantastic. Well, it looked like it had been at one point. Now however, black lamps were partially shattered and scattered throughout the open plan living room, broken glass adorned most surfaces, and even three carefully placed sofa cushions had feathers coming out of them.

What looked like was once an upscale, luxury, minimalist, apartment now more closely resembled an abandoned crack den.

I bit my bottom lip. "You weren't kidding. He really did a number on your place."

"I guess he finally had the meltdown we've all been waiting for. He left without the car keys, his wallet, and he doesn't really know anyone well enough here to stay someplace else." The worry seemed to suddenly crackle around Damon. "But now maybe we can get through to him when he finally stops his temper-tantrum and comes home."

I mumbled an agreement while carefully moving to an armchair, picking my way across the floor in heels. I caught sight of a unbroken photo balanced on the mantle of Damon and the brunette I'd only briefly met once.

"Is Rose back from Virginia yet? I questioned, trying out for a polite start to our night.

Damon motioned with his hand for me to get up and follow him. "Let's go outside, I need some air. This place is depressing me."

Trailing behind him, we walked out onto his balcony. It was beautifully wide, and very white, rimmed with flower boxes filled with small, manicured, green shrubs.

It took him a second to resume conversation and shake me out of taking in my surroundings. "Yeah, she turned up not that much later than Stefan and I. She's out in the car looking for him now. We thought we might get a better response with her rather than me right now."

Mirroring me when I rested my forearms onto the railing, he looked out at the panorama laid out in front of us and answered the unasked question I hadn't really wanted to know. "She doesn't officially live with me but she might as well, she's here most of the time."

"Nice of her to be okay with you bringing Stefan home with you."

Damon shrugged. "She's like that. Takes most things in her stride. Laid back."

I felt a flash of jealousy. Sounded like Rose was my angelic polar-opposite. Damon had once told me during finals that I could make a fortune from getting diamonds by sticking coal up my overly-stressed, tight, ass. It took him some groveling to get me to forgive him for that one.

Picking at a tiny strip of peeling paint, I decided to bring up something I told myself I wouldn't tonight. Really only because I needed something to change the subject with. Hell, maybe Damon could even bring some prospective to it all. He used to be good at that sort of thing.

"I talked to Kat. After what you said." I could feel him looking at the side of my face. "Thank you, by the way. I know you didn't have to take that risk. I appreciate it."

"Elena, I really shouldn't be discussing this with you. I've told you too much as it is."

"I know," I whispered, unseeingly looking down at the ground below us. "She's not going to report you or anything by the way, if that's what you're worried about. My sister may be a lot of things but she doesn't screw with people's lives like that."

Shocking me, Damon lightly guided my face towards him using a gentle finger on my chin. "She told you everything, huh?"

I blinked away the tears threatening underneath my eyelids and drew back slightly from his touch. "I know she thinks the cancer is back and there's not a thing she's going to do about it.

"I told her we don't know that's what-"

Even though it was my fault for raising the topic, I realized quickly I couldn't do this again right now. Not with him being so jarringly kind. We should have had just stuck to focusing on Stefan and keeping it simple.

Like he recognized a unspoken signal, Damon moved away and gave me some space. Catching sight of the bottle of alcohol jutting out the top of my handbag, he pulled it out and smirked at me.

"Can you blame me?" I challenged wryly.

He tipped his head back and took a long drink of the contents. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he shot back "Can you blame me?"

I pursed my mouth before shrugging in understanding. Confused, I watched as he placed the wine on the stone ledge along the outside wall and then disappear back inside, only to materialize again a few seconds later with a crystal decanter of amber liquid. If his tastes ran the same as they used to, then I'd put a high bet on it being full of pricey scotch.

"If we're going to do this, lets do it right."

I backed away. "No way. We are not turning this into a night of drinking."

"Elena," he coaxed, his eyes softening in a way he knew was intolerably charming. "Don't you think if there was ever a night for drinking it'd be tonight?"

My nano-second of hesitation gave him the in he'd wanted.

"Come on. What else is there to do while we wait? You don't want to talk about Katherine, and frankly I'm bored of saying Stefan's name." He grinned. "I guess we could get Monopoly out."

I rolled my eyes and then committed my first catastrophically bad decision of the night. Grabbing the decanter from his hand I had to stifle a laugh at the look on Damon's face when I pulled the stopper out and took a shot of the booze. Fighting the burn, I was annoyed at the small ray of pleasure I got at still being able to guess that scotch was his signature drink.

I walked back inside, not waiting for him to follow me, but being sure he would because I had the good alcohol, and perched onto the edge of the elongated leather couch. "Okay, rules," I counted off on my fingers. "TopIcs that are off limits. Marco. My relationship with Marco. My sister and her health…and Stefan, I guess, if that's what you want."

"What about why we didn't talk for almost five years?"

"Not if you want me to stay," I grinned falsely. That was probably the most taboo subject of them all.

The next hour was almost unbearably uncomfortable. It seemed at first that with our blacklist of topics we wouldn't have much to talk about at all. But as the alcohol began to flow, as was always the way, everything became much easier.

For the moment I let the hurt and anger go. I let myself pretend nothing had changed and that we were back in college and that there was nothing coming between us anymore. It was a dangerous decision to make but all I wanted was to forget my life for a few measly hours. I didn't think that was too much to ask.

Time once again became meaningless and I did everything I promised myself I wouldn't. We reminisced and I caught up on Damon's life, fascinated with all he told me. I couldn't recall the last time I had laughed so hard or so much.

The sky had scarcely began to lighten when Damon pulled my bare feet into his lap, squeezing them for a second before letting his hands fall away.

"I have a secret," Damon slurred, giddily announcing himself.

I sat up from where I'd been letting my head lay on the armrest, enjoying the feel of letting my hair stream down below me to the ground.

Wrinkling my brow, I really focused on Damon. His eyes were clouded over, his movements slow, and just like I remembered, his cheeks still flushed pink when he been heavily imbibing. Oh God, if a seasoned drinker like him was feeling the effects then I must be-. Well, we were both very, very drunk.

"And just what might this classified information be?"

"You remember that summer we went to Bahamas with my family?"

I nodded when he looked languidly over at me. It had been the vacation where Damon had gotten me high for the first and last time.

"And you wore that bikini," he persisted, gesticulating towards his chest with cupped hands. Shivering, he closed his eyes "Fuck, Elena. If I thought I'd been hard then- I had no idea until you changed your dress in my car yesterday."

I felt acid rise in my throat. Why did he always have to cross the line? He still had no regards for other people's feeling and just said whatever he pleased, not caring an ounce for the impact.

"Wait, where are you going? We were finally getting along," Damon frowned as I unsteadily got up and furrowed his brows as I tried to walk by.

"You can't say that kind of shit to me, Damon. It's beyond inappropriate. I'm sure your girlfriend wouldn't be ecstatic to hear you talking like that. Remember Rose?"

Damon pushed himself up into a sitting position and blinked at me. "Rose," he repeated. "Of course I remember Rose. I love Rose."

I ran my tongue along my teeth. "That's really great for you, Damon. I'm going to bed now. Wake me if Stefan gets back."

"Elena-," he started.

I shook my head, slammed the scotch at his chest without waiting for him to catch it, and found my way to one of the guest bedrooms. Falling back into a bed, I was simply happy to quickly drop into an alcohol induced slumber.

I got my punishment the next morning for regressing into old habits by waking up with probably the worst hangover I'd ever experienced. And to make matters worse, when I finally dragged myself out of the room, I found Rose cheerfully cooking pancakes while both of the Salvatore brothers sat solemnly at the breakfast table, not touching any of the food in front of them.

"Stefan, you're back," I observed belatedly, revealing my arrival to the room while studiously not looking at Damon once. I hoped he was feeling just as crappy as I was. "Thank god."

Stefan hardly glanced at me, before grunting and turning away. "Yeah, thank god."

Obviously, Damon and I weren't about to be forgiven anytime soon for our role in the breakdown of his relationship and subsequent humiliation.

"Yeah, I found him at a the 24 hour diner over on Adams," Rose perkily interjected, adding another pancake from the frying-pan to the mountain of uneaten ones on the table. A fact she seemed to be ignoring. "We sat there for a while and talked. Just hung out a little."

I hated that she had been there for Stefan while he was still mad at me.

"Well, I'm glad that everything turned out okay in the end then." I tried not to vomit from the pain in my head and managed a smile. "Rose, it was nice to see you again. And, Stefan, call me when you're ready. Please?"

"Oh no," Rose shook the spatula she was holding at me. "Don't think you're leaving without breakfast. I'm just dying to get to know you."

One look at her genuinely, eager, friendly face and I couldn't find the energy to argue with her. I smiled as I slid into an open chair, never feeling less welcome in my life. It was obvious neither Salvatore wanted me there.

Luckily, Rose moved from her post at the oven quickly and and sat with us, defusing the thick tension. She happily ate, while the rest of us picked at our plates to keep up appearances.

"So, Elena," Rose started, pouring maple syrup all over her meal. As if she needed to be more sweet. "I feel like we know each other so well. I've heard stories from Damon that are just hilarious."

I bristled at this woman knowing so much about me. I thought about her and Damon laughing over stories about me and forced down the rising nausea. "Yeah? That's funny, because I haven't heard anything about you at all."

If possible the table fell even more quiet. Even the clinking of cutlery halted. And if you didn't think I hated myself for snapping that snide remark at her when she was being so nice to me, then you'd be wrong.

"I'm sorry," I apologized. "I'm just really not feeling well."

Seemingly undaunted, the smile returned to her face and she shook her head. Apparently the fact that no one else at the table had spoken yet this morning didn't faze her. "No, don't worry about it. I know Damon and you had a little bit of a hard night."

That was one way to put it. I found myself craving Katherine beside me for support. But then I remembered why she wasn't.

Forcing myself to make conversation, I inquired "How do you like working at the hospital?"

Apparently that had been the magic question to ask. I was able to spend the rest of breakfast pretending to listen to her answer as she talked and talked and talked.

"-and that's when Damon told me all about the year he took off before medical school volunteering with all those charities. You were still living here then, right Elena?"

I snorted into my napkin. "I'm sorry, all the charities he volunteered at?". If donating to the fund of Doritos and beer was considered charitable then I guess?

"Yeah, you remember, Elena, don't you?" Damon's voice rung out for the first time that morning, deep in it's warning.

I chanced a look at him and his glare penetrated unwaveringly back at me. I returned his stare, silently conversing with him like we used to. Someone would always break and look away first.

I lost this time. "That's right," I lied. " Damon was the real-deal do-gooder."

When I brought my attention back to Rose something had finally seemed to dampen her spirit because she had fallen inexplicably quiet. Looking between Damon and I, she swallowed deeply before replying somewhat shakily "Well, my shift starts pretty soon. So I better get out of here. I hope to see you again before you leave though, Elena." Stacking some of the dishes in the sink, she added, "I'll see the rest of you tonight."

After grabbing her bag from the counter, she kissed Damon on the lips before I could look away, waved and walked out the door. It took me a moment to realize that somewhere within the last five minutes Stefan had retreated and left Damon and I alone again.

"Who the hell pissed in your cornflakes this morning, Elena?" Damon chided. "She didn't deserve your attitude."

"Like you were much better?" I exclaimed, defensive. Relenting, I sighed "But no, she didn't. I'll apologize again before I leave. Preferably when I don't feel like throwing-up my lungs."

"Yeah, last night was pretty rough," he admitted, pushing back his chair so he could stretch his legs out. "And I realize I owe you an apology. I don't exactly remember what I said-"

I narrowed my eyes at him at him and tilted my head.

He groaned and looked up to stare at the ceiling. "Okay, I do remember what I said, and it was fucking disrespectful, but can we blame it on the scotch, forget it, and move on?

"We're not twenty anymore, Damon. We're not suppose to act like that. I don't know what I was thinking."

"Probably something about having to watch your sister die."

I shoved myself back from the table with both hands and stood up. "And that is where the line is drawn, Damon. I'm not talking about that with you. I've told you that. If I need to talk to someone about it, I'll try my luck with Caroline or Bonnie. My friends."

Damon's eyes watched my movements while he laughed humorlessly. "So what's that's supposed to mean? I'm not a friend now?"

I paused by the door and swung my purse over my shoulder, irritated by my words hurting me before I'd even said them.

"What the hell would make you think that you were?"

Closing the door behind me and bolting down the stairs, I was so wrapped up in trying to find a cab I almost knocked into Stefan who was standing by the entrance to the lobby and smoking.

"Oh, Stefan! I'm sorry, I didn't see you there."

"Not a problem," he returned coldly.

Looking away before turning back again, he then studied me before speaking. "I know you're not Lexi. And I know you would never deliberately set out to do something like she did. But that thing between you both," he motioned with his cigarette between me and to the top of the building, to his brother. "That whole eye conversation thing you two do. Spending the night getting drunk. It's playing with fire and if you're not careful someone is going to get hurt. And it won't be Damon or you."

I pinched the bridge of my nose and threw up my hands. "You know what, Stefan? I'm sorry you've been having a tough time. But I can't deal with your projection right now. I'm leaving in a few days, okay? Nobody has anything to worry about." I threw back over my shoulder "And help your brother clean up that mess you made last night."

Without waiting a response, I left him behind. Deciding not to wait for the cab after all, I spent the whole walk back grumbling in my head at Stefan's audacity. As if I would ever- I don't even feel that way about Damon anymore.

Alright, yes, maybe in some screwed up way I still had some feelings left for him. I could admit it now. But they were twisted, and wrong, and did me no good.

And they needed to be crushed like a bug

A/N: Oh, it feels good being able to update again so soon.

It meant the world to me that you all still put the effort in to read and even review. And I was glad to hear I wasn't the only one super affected by the finale!

Hope this new update is somewhat enjoyable for you all!

See you soon, Summer x