Happiness Shop
"DD!" Cazieen shrieked as a buzzer went off. "Get out to the shop! We have customers!"
"It's an odd time for customers," DD4T7 replied. "All other shops in this area are closed."
"Shut up and get out there," Cazieen growled.
The droid turned its attention to Cazieen. "As you wish," it said dejectedly. The light around it shimmered and the hologram of the saleswoman appeared.
She stepped out into the shop. "Welcome to the Happy shop!" she said cheerfully to the six individuals that were waiting outside.
The group, all in similar costumes with the exception of the man, glared at her. One of them, a girl with raven hair stepped forward menacingly. "We know what your product actually does," she hissed.
"Yes, it makes the wearer happy," the saleswoman replied. She smiled warmly at the group. "Is there something I can interest you in today?"
"Who's in charge?" The man asked.
The saleswoman turned to him. "Oh, you're that man from earlier today," she said. "Are you unhappy with your purchase?"
The man seemed taken aback. Even with the mask it was obvious. "What makes you think I've been here before?" he demanded.
"Voice patterns are the same," the saleswoman replied. "Additionally, scans indicate a one hundred percent genetic match between you and the individual I referred to." The woman realized what she said and tried to rephrase. "I mean, you look the same. I could be mistaken, but you sound the same too." As she spoke, she slowly backed towards the door marked 'employees only'.
"You really should leave now," the saleswoman said nervously. "The shop is closed. Goodnight!" She slipped through the door before the group could stop her.
Lileen looked up from his holozine. "Done already?"
"We have a problem," the saleswoman said as the hologram shut down.
"What is it now?" Cazieen grumbled, getting up from the chair she had been lounging in.
Before DD4T7 could respond, the door burst open.
Cazieen opened her mouth. "What the –"
"Who are you?" Lileen interrupted. "You aren't supposed to be here!"
"You seek to harm people by promising them happiness," the blonde girl with twin braids announced. "We're here to bring an end to whatever evil you three are up to!"
Lileen scratched his head. "Who the hell are you?"
Cazieen shrugged as the girl continued speaking. "I'm Sailor Moon! I will right wrongs and triumph over evil!" she pointed at the Raxacoricofallapatorians. "And that means you!"
Cazieen tilted her head slightly to the side, her large black eyes blinking rapidly. "What are they blithering about?"
DD4T7 swiveled its visual receptors towards Cazieen. "She's threatening you."
"Bah," Lileen snorted. "They're only human."
"Be aware that they are in possession of non-terrestrial technology," DD4T7 replied. "I am also detecting large levels of psycho-kinetic energy. Based on my calculations, I would advise –"
"Shut up DD," Cazieen snapped. "I think we can handle a group of children. I think they're children. I can't tell with humans. They're all so small and frail. How such a weak, backwards species ever survived is beyond my ability to understand."
"Cazieen, do you think they taste better than fish?"
"We could find out."
"I'd like to see you try, ugly," Mars snapped.
"Ugly?" Lileen shrieked before charging Mars.
Mars' Flame Sniper hit Lileen in the chest. He squawked in pain, but kept charging, raising his sharp claws for the kill. Before he could take a swing, Mercury's Shine Aqua Illusion hit his face and froze.
Unable to see, he tripped and crashed into the ground. Before he could get up, Venus tied him down with her Love Me Chain. He struggled uselessly for a minute, trying to both escape the chains and remove the ice from his face.
Jupiter shot a bolt of Supreme Thunder towards Cazieen. Before it could hit, Cazieen reached up and batted DD4T7 into the oncoming bolt. The droid let out an electronic screech as the bolt struck.
"Finally a use for that stupid droid," Cazieen said smugly.
DD4T7 bobbed in a circle for a moment. Suddenly it stopped and turned its visual receptors towards Cazieen. "Ma'am, I'm turning in my resignation and seeking new employment." It said. It cautiously hovered over to the scouts. "I would like to offer my services." It said.
"You're working for them," Mars snapped. "I should fry you now." A fireball danced at the tip of her fingertips.
"I can help you defeat them," DD4T7 replied nervously, not looking away from the fireball.
"What?" Cazieen shrieked. "You tell them anything and I'll personally rip out your circuits and dump them into a star, you worthless pile of scrap!"
"Acid," DD4T7 replied, ignoring Cazieen's threat.
Cazieen screamed and charged at DD4T7. She didn't make it far before being hit with a combination of attacks. She fell to the ground next to Lileen, bound as he was by Venus' Love Chain.
"Acid?" Venus asked as she fought to keep the two Raxacoricofallapatorians contained.
DD4T7 bobbled its visual receptors in a nod. "Affirmative," it replied. "Raxacoricofallapatorians are calcium based life forms. They are highly vulnerable to acetic acid."
"Of course!" Mercury exclaimed.
The other scouts looked at her blankly.
"Calcium reacts with acetic acid," Mercury clarified.
"Where are we supposed to find ack, acec –" Sailor Moon struggled with the word.
Sailor Mars huffed in irritation. "Acetic Acid."
"Vinegar," Sailor Mercury replied.
Sailor Moon stared at her. "Vinegar? We're supposed to save the world with vinegar?"
"Where are we supposed to find vinegar?" Tuxedo Mask asked.
"In a kitchen, of course," Sailor Jupiter replied.
"Hold them off," Luna ordered. "Artemis and I will try to find some."
The two bounded out the door. Cazieen and Lileen shrieked as they broke free of Venus' Love Me Chain. Venus moved to bind them again, but Cazieen swiped with one of her massive claws, striking Sailor Venus with a vicious backhand.
Sailor Venus was thrown into the wall. She grunted then collapsed to the ground.
"Venus!" Sailor Moon cried out, moving towards her friend.
Venus winced as she stood and rejoined the others. "I'm alright."
Sailor Moon nodded, her jaw set in determination. "Right," she said. She turned back to the other Scouts. "Let's teach these guys a lesson."
"I'm going to enjoy eating you," Cazieen growled. She raised a claw and pointed it at Sailor Moon. "Goodbye."
There was a puff of air and a small dart flew from Cazieen's outstretched claw and streaked towards Sailor Moon.
DD4T7 reached out and plucked the small dart out of the air. "Apologies," DD4T7 said to Sailor Moon. "I failed to mention that Raxacoricofallapatorian females possess the ability to fire a poison dart. Fortunately, it takes some time to create a new one." It tossed the dart aside. "However, I must warn you that she also possesses the ability to exhale a single concentrated burst of highly toxic gas."
Sailor Moon wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Talk about bad breath."
Lileen snorted. "I doubt eating you would make it better," he growled. "I can smell your stench from here. Besides you're too small and scrawny to eat. And ugly. Just looking at you gives me indigestion."
Sailor Moon's face flushed with anger and embarrassment. "Who are you calling ugly, you oversized –"
Cazieen screeched and charged the scouts. Lileen was right behind her. Despite the flurry of attacks that rained upon them, the two were only slowed enough to allow the scouts, Tuxedo Mask and DD4T7 enough time to retreat from the shop.
"How are these attacks not doing anything?" Sailor Mars demanded as another Flame Sniper smashed into Lileen. In response, he ripped a shelf out of the floor and hurled it at her.
Sailor Mars ducked and the shelf, various products falling from it, soared over her head. The shelf crashed through the window of a restaurant on the other side of the street.
"They are, as I stated, calcium based life forms," DD4T7 answers. "Attacking them is similar to attacking stone."
"Stop talking and help us fight them!" Sailor Mars snapped.
"I cannot," DD4T7 replied. "My programming makes it impossible for me to engage in any form of physical combat."
Sailor Mars glared at DD4T7 for a moment. "What's the point in having you around?"
"I did tell you how to beat them," DD4T7 replied.
Artemis yelled from inside the restaurant. "There's vinegar in here!"
"Thoughtful of him to give us an entrance," Sailor Jupiter said through gritted teeth. She fired off an Oak Evolution at Cazieen and Lileen.
Lileen took the hit while Cazieen used a nearby shelf as a shield. After the attack ran its course, Cazieen hurled the shelf at the Scouts.
The Scouts scattered, diving to the ground to avoid being struck. While they were down, Lileen and Cazieen charged them. Sailor Mars launched a Burning Mandala causing them to flinch. It gave enough time for the other scouts to recover and continue attacking.
"Sailor Moon," Sailor Jupiter said after launching another bolt of lightning. "Get into the restaurant and get that vinegar!"
Sailor Moon nodded before turning and dashing towards the restaurant. DD4T7 followed close behind.
Sailor Moon clambered over the windowsill, but her foot caught. She squawked as she fell towards the floor and the hundreds of sharp pieces of glass that lay there.
Before she hit the floor, DD4T7 grabbed her, holding her in place. She sighed in relief as the droid pulled her upright. "Thanks," she said. "You saved my face from horrible disfigurement. Can you imagine, me having to hide my face behind bandages?"
DD4T7 stared at Sailor Moon for a moment, unsure whether she was making an attempt at humor or not. Unable to decide, it changed the topic. "I would advise caution in the future." It swiveled its visual receptors around, taking in the entire restaurant.
Artemis was standing by a set of swinging doors. "It's in here. Hurry!"
DD4T7 hovered towards the door in question. Sailor Moon started following when she tripped over a chair. She squawked, arms pin wheeling in a futile attempt to stay up. She hit the ground face-first.
"Ouch…" she whimpered, as she sat up. She glanced at the mirror set behind the counter, trying to determine how bad the damage was.
"Sailor Moon, I would strongly advise assessing your injuries later," DD4T7 interjected. "At the moment our primary goal is to stop the Raxacoricofallapatorians."
"Right," Sailor Moon replied, mildly embarrassed.
She followed DD4T7 and Artemis through the doors to the kitchen. The droid turned on a small light slightly below and to the side of its visual receptors. The light from the narrow, yet powerful beam, bounced of the many reflective surfaces in the kitchen, giving it a silvery glow.
DD4T7 hovered to a cabinet on the far side of the kitchen and opened it. Sailor Moon immediately spotted the large jar of vinegar. She struggled to heft it down from the shelf, almost dropping it in the process. She managed to get it to a nearby counter.
"I can't carry this back," she grumbled. "It's too heavy."
"Perhaps transporting the acetic acid in a smaller container would make the task easier," DD4T7 offered.
"How much do we need?" Sailor Moon asked. She spotted a measuring cup hanging from a hook above her head and pulled it down as DD4T7 replied.
"Not much," it said. "They react very violently with acetic acid. Even a small amount is fatal."
To be on the safe side, Sailor Moon filled two measuring cups with vinegar before carefully making her way out of the restaurant. She rejoined the Scouts who still kept up the attack on Lileen and Cazieen.
"Did you get the vinegar?" Sailor Mercury asked.
Sailor Moon held up the measuring cups in response.
"Get those creeps and let's end this," Mars spat after firing another Burning Mandala.
The Scouts let up their attacks to allow Lileen and Cazieen to get closer. Realizing the attacks had abated, the two screamed in rage before charging the scouts.
Deciding they were close enough, Sailor Moon threw one of the measuring cups at Cazieen. It struck her face, and the contents splashed everywhere, covering Cazieen in droplets of vinegar.
She froze. At the same time Sailor Moon threw the second measuring cup at Lileen. She missed and the container struck Cazieen instead. Most of the vinegar splashed onto Cazieen's body. What little remained splashed onto Lileen's arm.
The two stared at the Scouts for several seconds. "Hah," Cazieen proclaimed gleefully. "It didn't work." She screeched, raising a claw. "Die, bit–"
Cazieen exploded.
Bits sizzling from the chemical reaction splattered the walls and streets. The Scouts didn't escape it either, as foul smelling, goopy pieces rained down around them.
"Ew! Ew!" Sailor Moon screeched, attempting, but failing, to evade the falling pieces of Cazieen. "Why didn't you mention they would explode?"
"I was unaware that it would cause you so much distress," DD4T7 answered, clearly confused.
The other Scouts stood in horror and disgust, as they wiped off what bits they could.
Only Lileen seemed unaffected by the loss of his partner. He stared at his arm as the vinegar slowly dripped down it. The skin started sizzling and bubbling as the acid started eating away at the calcium.
Lileen screamed in pain. In seconds, the acid ate through his arm. What was left, fell to the ground, one end sizzling. He howled in pain, staggering back towards the Happy Shop.
"Stop him!" Sailor Jupiter exclaimed. "He's trying to get away!"
Even with one arm, Lileen managed to rip one of the few remaining shelves out of the ground. He hurled it at the Scouts. They ducked out of the way, giving Lileen enough time to stagger into the back of the shop. Before entering, he growled at the Scouts. "This isn't over." He staggered inside, the door sliding closed behind him.
"He's trapped now," Sailor Mars said triumphantly, a fireball dancing at her fingertips.
The shop collapsed. From the rubble, a small ship hovered up. It swerved in the air, crashing into the adjacent building. Bits of brick, plaster and glass fell to the ground as the ship floated away from the building. Slowly, the ship turned until it was pointing at the sky. Its engines roared before it streaked away, quickly becoming lost among the stars.
The cat's tail curled and uncurled as it watched the end of the fight. Its eyes narrowed as it contemplated what it had witnessed. That the girls were powerful was obvious. They were easily powerful enough to present a threat to her, at least for now. The cat watched as the girls hurried away. "You can't run from me," the cat purred. "I'll be keeping a close eye on you."
The cat turned and sauntered away. At the end of the block, it transformed back into Anastasia.