A/N: I hope you enjoy, reviews are much appreciated, and thank you all for checking this story out

(Armin P.O.V)

I ran to greet my brother at the stern of the ship. I hadn't seen anyone near him at the time and I thought for sure that I'd be able to get to him before anyone could kick him off. I thought he'd join us and we'd be together as a family…

…

…I thought many things.

I reached to the stern and watched in complete horror as the bastard soldier held a gun to his forehead. My brother barely noticed I was there.

The trigger was pulled and the shot sounded…

I awoke in a jolt and my head was spinning from both a headache and lack of food. I'd only had a few pieces of bread in the past few days and so far I was slowly losing weight to the hunger knowing at my core. Next to this hunger I felt a pang of guilt for not being able to have saved my brother from the shot. That I sat there and watched as he was shot point blank in the head and fell into the river below. The soldiers still hadn't found his body yet, and my father pushed harder for them to look. It was likely though that the current took him away and that he'd never be found again.

I wanted to believe that that wasn't true… but it felt like anything could happen at this point. I felt as though the sky would turn to grey and the grass would become rock. That the impossible would overcome us and destroy us without even any effort.

I just couldn't believe we were safe any longer.

I sat up from my bedding and shivered slightly. I, as well as Eren and Mikasa, were joined into one room of this rickety and drafty house while my parents and grandfather slept downstairs. Today would be another day of working in the fields for us just for a scrap of food on our plates. It was despicable and frustratingly difficult work, seeing as how we had rights to our food as much as any other, but it wasn't like the food shortage was bad enough. Now we had less livestock and less grain to go around because of the abandonment of Wall Maria. Times were getting rough, and people were turning against others. My father, god bless his existence, had managed to get us a small home thanks to his military status. It wasn't much, but it was better than sleeping in stables and working to pay of outrageous loans. I can't imagine what it'd be like if Mello was here as well. The blonde would have demanded a mansion from the soldiers, all while calling them pigs in the process.

That thought made me smile sometimes. And sometimes a smile was all you needed when work was becoming your everyday.

I looked to my right and saw Eren and Mikasa sleeping peacefully. Well… as peacefully as two who witnessed a horror a bad as they did.

I felt so bad for Eren… for him having to see his mother eaten before his eyes. It just wasn't fair, none of it was! We'd had to abandon our homes, our friends…

…

…our families.

No one knew what happened to Eren's father. He'd come back for an hour or two and had left once more. Eren had forgotten everything about the incident where he'd met with him, and wouldn't talk to us about his nightmares about him.

In a sense… the man had disappeared.

I looked to my left and found my brother's side pack. In it he'd only left a few things; his writing utensils and ink, his markers, professional pens and pencils I'd gotten him for his birthday, and his journal. In it I read his latest short stories each night until I fell into slumber, pretending to hear his voice and be in my bed like nothing had ever changed.

I pulled out the journal and read one of my favourites;

"The boy was not very special. He was not very strong or very graceful. But his mind was the most wonderful of attributes. For in his mind he could picture things unlike any other had seen. He could picture worlds of colourful glass windows and beautiful glowing flowers. In his mind he could dream of dreams in a slumber so deep, not even the sounds of a lone crow could wake him.

"The boy was petite and calm, loving and kind, and when he smiled the world smiled with him. And he knew he wasn't brave, and he knew he wasn't strong, but he also knew that no one else could compare to his determination and desire; for when he woke each morning, and he glanced towards the walls that surrounded him, he knew more than anyone that he would be the one to bring down these walls in a shake of purpose and might unlike any other. For beyond that massive wall lay his deepest dreams.

"Dreams of fire water that flowed from mountains, of land made entirely of sands, and a body of water so huge and great that you could never see the end no matter how hard you tried. This boy was a dreamer, and his dreams seemed like fantasy to most…

"…but my dream is to make his come true. To see the light in his eyes at seeing the world he'd so desperately desired to be part of…

"…but then… what older brother wouldn't want a perfect world for his kid brother?"

Detailed below this was a map of an escape route out of Wall Maria and towards a land he believed not to be infested by titans. He'd one something incredibly illegal at ripping out a page from a book that had been collected from us years ago. The map had been a detailed, larger version of our land and was not to be viewed by anyone in the public. Mello had done this to be free and take me with him…

…

…and now he couldn't.

I closed the journal and hugged it close to me. "I'm so sorry, Mihael. I'll make it up to you, I swear it."

I heard the front door downstairs open and I immediately ran out of the room to see what was going on. More than once had the soldiers stormed in here and demanded payment from my father, to which we couldn't oblige, and I had to make sure everything was alright.

Thankfully, it'd just been Matt.

Matt had suffered much worse than I had with Mello's death. His hair had become ragged and slightly redder from the shock of losing someone, and his skin was dirtier than ever. His eyes were permanently red and puffy from crying so much, and no longer were they green as the grass itself. In a sense, he was no longer the Matt that had fallen for my brother. He was just a shell of what was. And how could I blame him for becoming this? The man had loved Mello so much that knowing he was gone for good nearly drove him insane. All those years he'd had with him, all the love and memories… it must have been torture to see it all get killed. And it was all because of a jealous drunk of a soldier that we had to blame for it. And when it was time for his payment for his treachery, Matt had been the first to shoot.

My father made sure he had nothing more than capital punishment for his crimes against those he was supposed to be protecting.

I ran down the stairs to hug Matt happily. He hugged me back without question as my parents came into view to ask why he'd come around.

The news… was not good.

"It seems that with the shortage of food going on, they'll be sending out a few hundred people to help reclaim what was deserted back at Wall Maria." He said angrily. "It'll be a recon mission… but I bet we all know that it's a bullshit lie to thin out the population. The only ones unable to go will be the children… well, and you all."

My father looked somewhat surprised at this. "I would've thought they'd want me as their leader if anything else."

Matt only scoffed. "Mikasa lost her parents as well as Eren. I'm not letting Armin lose his. Having Mello k-" he stopped mid-sentence, gathering up his courage to speak. "Having Mello killed was enough. I'm not losing anyone else in this family."

My mother pulled him into a hug, her eyes watering slightly. "Thank you, Matt. It means the world to us that you think of us so highly."

A tear fell down the man's cheek. "Mello would have done anything for you guys. The least I can do is take his place and make sure nothing happens to the rest of you. I know how much he cared… he told me so himself." He backed away from the hug with a grin. "It's why he rejected my marriage proposal for so long."

My father chuckled happily but with a slight bit of sadness to hear this, patting the man's shoulder. "Well done, lad. Lord knows he wanted you."

He nodded before jolting at a sudden thought and digging into his pocket. He brought out a coin purse and offered it to my father.

"I know the soldiers have been bugging you, and since I have no use for it anymore I was hoping you'd accept this in order to pay them off in the future. I know how they work here in Trost, and it's just as sickening as if they were the MPs. So… take it and use it to help yourselves."

The larger man took the purse hesitantly and looked inside. In an instant the man gave it back.

"Matt, I- -I can't accept this! This is far too much for you to give up!"

He shook his head. "Please, take it. I can't bear to look at it anymore anyway. It was supposed to be the payment for our house up north after we got married, and… I just can't look at it anymore. It makes me sick."

My mother hugged him once again and the younger man hugged back in sorrow. The poor guy was going through a turmoil unlike anything else at losing someone so important to him… and it made me even more guilty to know that I did nothing to stop that soldier.

My father looked at the purse once more before placing it on the table.

"Matt, when this is all over and the… erm… 'Recon' mission is over with, we'll all take this money, plus some savings we've kept in hiding from those parasites we call soldiers, and head up north where we can all be much safer. I want you to come with us and be part of our family. I doubt you want to stay part of the Garrison anyway."

Matt backed away from my mother's hug, wiping away a tear with his wrist. "After the mission begins, I'm out. I told Pixis I couldn't be part of an order where they steal and rob others blind while killing others on the side. He's allowed me to leave, and even said that if I want to return to the military then spots will be open for me at all times."

My father nodded. "I know Pixis. He's a good man, and an excellent commander. He keeps his word and is more than fair when it comes to trials. As soon as you're done with them you may stay with us. You gave my son the one thing he needed more than anything; Happiness. For this, I can't repay you enough."

Matt laughed half-heartedly. "Mello was already happy with all of you. He just… he needed something more. And I was really hoping taking him up north would have been what he needed."

"Maybe… but…" the man drifted off, "but it's in the past now. We have to look to the future."

Matt nodded at this. "So when will we be leaving exactly?"

"Leaving?" Came Eren's unmistakable voice.

We all turned to find him and Mikasa looking at us in pure bewilderment.

My father relayed the plan to him and sure enough, Eren was against it.

"I'm not leaving!" He demanded. "I'm joining the Survey Corps and destroying those beasts for good!"

My mother leaned down to look him in the eye. "Eren, think about what you're saying…"

"I have thought about it! I've thought about it since I realized what world I truly live in! And I don't want to live in a world ruled by titans and their monstrous ways! I want to be free of them! I WANT THEM ALL KILLED!"

"Eren…" I tried to calm him down.

He marched down the stairs and grabbed my shirt. "QUIT BEING A WIMP, ARMIN! IT'S THAT ATTITUDE THAT GOT MY MOTHER EATEN! THAT GOT YOUR BROTHER KILLED! DON'T WASTE YOUR LIFE KISSING THE BOOTS OF THOSE PIG SOLDIERS AND DO SOMETHING FOR ONCE!"

I felt my being numb over in pain at the thought of Mello's death once more and tears began to stream from my face. Before Eren could realize the damage he'd done, however, Mikasa unhooked his fist from my shirt and threw him off of me. I fell to the ground in complete and utter dismay as Mikasa stood between us.

"If Armin's a wimp… then so are we."

I looked up to her at this in wonder. What exactly was she talking about?

Her stoic face didn't change in the slightest. "Whether it was running from the titans or fleeing the town, we didn't manage anything on our own. We even have help with getting food…" she then looked to Matt, "and with keeping us alive and together. There's no way such powerless people can defeat even a single one of those titans."

Eren looked up from where he'd been thrown, and I could see a look of anger and resentment in his eyes. Still, this did not stop Mikasa.

"Staying alive is what matters most. Just like your mother said."

This caught Eren's attention out of everything and his eyes watered at the immediate thought of her. It was only then did he realize how childish he was being before. But really, I couldn't blame him. He'd lost everyone…

…

…and I'd only lost my brother.

I was lucky enough to have most of my family and Matt. But the two of them… they had no one. No mothers or fathers… just each other.

Just me.

I stood up from my spot and leaned on Matt slightly. Too afraid to speak… just like always.

"Tell me," the red head spoke up suddenly, "which is more important to you; being alive…

"…

"…or living?"

We all perked up at this and I noticed Matt no longer looked as sad and depressed as before. He actually looked… determined.

His eyes narrowed. "Eren, you alone cannot take down every titan in this world, especially in your current conditions. But you can still fight. If you truly want to, and it means the world to you to end this age of being trapped as cattle waiting for slaughter." He paused for a split second before grinning slightly. "I know it's what I want. To live and be free from this cage and repression. To live in a world where we aren't ruled by fear and tyranny. To live in a time of peace and prosperity, loving and laughing, not worrying about when our next meal will be and who will die next. It was my dream… it was our dream. A dream to be free and reach the moon. And even if we missed the moon we'd be with the stars. Forever dreaming, forever happy, and forever at peace. Our ancestors thought that the wall would bring us this, but instead it brought us more pain and destruction than anyone could have ever faced. Even worse, they outlawed the very thing that had made us in the first place; History.

"Eren, you want to fight for this? You want to become and soldier and prove your worth to the world before you? To end this fear of being the titan's next meal and break down the walls that keep us caged in?"

The brunette nodded, his words frozen in his throat.

He then looked to Mikasa. "And you?"

She stared for a second or two before truthfully answering with, "I will fight to protect Eren. He is the last of my family."

He then turned to me. "Armin, your brother's death had nothing to do with you or anything you've done or could've done. The truth of the matter is, he was killed by a tainted soldier and there was nothing that could have been helped. You aren't a wimp for not being able to help him, and there was nothing you could do. Don't tear yourself up over anything Eren says or what the soldiers say. Only you have the power to tear yourself down… so don't allow yourself to do this."

He put a hand on my cheek and wiped away a stray tear with his thumb. "Mello loved you with all his heart. And believe me when I say he wouldn't want you breaking down like this over his death. The only thing you can do is move forward now, and prove to him you can be strong without him beside you. So tell me… what do you want to do? How will you fight for everything that's been lost?"

I thought about this for what felt like forever. I thought about what I could do to prove my worth and how much I cared for my brother and what he stood for…

…

…and then a memory came to mind.

We were in our room looking over maps from illegal books that our grandfather had stashed away. The soldiers had taken all the good ones, but these were still good in terms of dreaming.

Mihael grinned happily. "Someday I'll get out there and find all these places for myself! When I do, I'll mark it all down on a new map and take you along with me for a second visit!"

"But how will you get out?" I asked in earnest.

He ruffled my hair slightly before looking out the window. "Father was once a soldier in the Survey Corps, remember? So when the time comes, we'll enter into cadets together and work our way into the survey corps. On the first mission outside the walls, I'll break free and go off to find the world myself. Once I'm done, I'll come back for you and we'll escape together!"

"What about the titans?" I asked in a bit of fear.

He raised his head proudly. "You're big brother will take 'em out, no sweat!"

I smiled at this and hugged him. "Can we visit the sea first!?"

He hugged back in delight. "I'll kill every titan in the world if it means getting you to the sea! I promise, I'll take you there!"

I grinned half-heartedly at the memory and I stood up a bit straighter.

"I'm joining the cadets as well." I said quietly.

Both my parents and Eren were dumbstruck to hear this but I gave my reasoning as to why, telling them that it was a plan I'd made with Mihael long ago. With this, there was no stopping me from making up my mind.

"But Armin… joining the cadets would mean putting off our moving until you'd become a full soldier. You realize this, I hope."

"Not to mention the danger of getting killed in the process!" My mother practically yelled. "No, I won't allow it!"

"Selena, it's a mere two years before he can join. We'll have time before then to spend with him." My father reminded her. "And if it was something he and Mihael planned together… then he should continue on with it. If only to honour his memory." He then looked at me in worry. "But I warn you, it'll be tough as nails, son."

I smiled at the man lovingly. "We're a tough family."

The man picked me up in a bout of pride and hugged me close. "That's my boy."

Matt suddenly hummed. "I wonder if Pixis can get me into the training academy for Cadets as a 3DMG teacher…"

My father laughed. "I suppose he could if you asked right now. He might even allow you to switch over with Armin to keep an eye on him… if I were to put in my own personal opinion."

"So you'd return from retirement to look after your boy?" The red head asked knowingly.

"When he graduates, perhaps. If the wife will let me." He looked over to my mother, eyes pleading.

She scoffed slightly before kissing his cheek. "We'll talk more about this when the kids are in Cadets."

And with this, the plan was set. My friends and I would enter into the military and become soldiers to fight for our freedom. To fight for a chance to see the world before we died, and to end the tyranny of the titans. It would be a long road ahead…

…but it would be worth it!