Author's Note: Chapter six is here(finally)! It's been a busy week and will continue to be so I don't think I'll have the next chapter of Red High Heels up until probably Friday, but it will be here soon!
Alright, this chapter is...interesting to say the least. The conversation between Haley and Peyton is supposed to be awkward for a reason, something that will make Haley think. The song Haley sings is Saving Jane's "Happy", obviously the title track of this story. The ending is also supposed to be a mystery and somewhat of an unknown statement. You'll find out the real answer next chapter don't worry!
Thanks for the awesome awesome awesome reviews! They are always so fun to read!
Enjoy!
Summary: Nathan and Haley were once madly in love and then reality set it. Now they are nothing more than friends who's faces always grace the tabloids. Then Nathan gets engaged and Haley has been invited to the week vacation the loving couple is throwing for friends and family. How is Haley ever going to survive and is it just her wishful thinking or is Nathan actually looking at her with those old eyes again?
Happy
Chapter Six; Right From Wrong
"It's simple really, that long fine line." Haley softly sang to herself as she sat on the back deck of her and Brooke's little house. The sun shown bright tonight, almost unforgiving with the warm rays it produced, but Haley welcomed it with open arms. Her pen scribbled out some words on the notebook that rest in her lap before her eyes looked out toward the ocean and her mind rang out a tune only thought up by her own mind. "But it's been so long. It's growing blurred, that long fine line and calling right from wrong."
"Future hit, if you ask my unprofessional opinion." A voice came from around the corner of the deck and walked along the warm sand, her blonde curls bouncing slightly as she walked up onto the wooden deck.
"Hey Peyton." Haley smiled, setting her pen and paper aside.
"Oh please," Peyton shook her head. "Don't let me stop you're writing."
Haley smiled again with a shrug, "Trust me, it's not one I actually plan on recording. One of my million 'wastes of paper' ideas."
Peyton grabbed the other lounge chair and pulled it closer to where Haley was sitting with her old guitar and laughed, "I highly doubt any of your ideas are real 'wastes of paper'. You're last album was genius, but like I said; that's my own unprofessional opinion."
"Unprofessional?" Haley laughed, "Alright, since we're bragging on each other lets say it's your turn; produced how many platinum artists in the last three years?"
"That's luck." Peyton smirked.
"Right, and what I do is pure talent and no ounce of luck what so ever?" Haley raised an eyebrow.
"Next topic." Peyton laughed as she looked out toward the beautiful ocean.
"Where's Jake?" Haley asked after the comfortable silence had faded.
"Went out with Lucas and Nathan. I think he was about to have it with all the girlie things I've been making him do lately. He just needed to be away from all of it and with the 'official' engagement dinner tonight he really needed to find something better to wear than jeans and a nice shirt." Peyton laughed, rubbing over his stomach. "Not to mention we ran out of chocolate ice cream last night and I nearly threw him through a wall."
Haley laughed, realizing how envious she really was of her friend's lifestyle. She had the amazing husband and loving home. It was something Haley had always wanted, but now she was nothing more than a homewreaker and that thought made her nearly sick. She was ruining someone else's happiness for her own selfish needs.
"Brooke?" Peyton asked and Haley looked around, she had left early that morning talking about going out on her own for awhile, but Haley expected her to be back after awhile, obviously she had found some good shopping centers or something.
"Oh, um, now that you mention it I don't really know." Haley smiled. "She said something about going out for awhile, but that was earlier this morning. She should be back soon I guess."
"Well, you know Brooke, she'll come back on her own time." Peyton shrugged., looking out toward the ocean and then bit down on her lip. Haley could tell her friend was thinking something, but she obviously didn't want to say anything.
"Peyton." Haley finally spoke, her friend looking back toward her with an unsure face. "What is it?"
Peyton sucked in a strong breath, "Alright, I know this isn't my place to ask; but why are you here? Not that I'm not enjoying seeing you or that I thought you shouldn't be invited-"
"Peyton." Haley said again, this time to stop her obvious rambling. "Breathe."
"Sorry." Peyton said sheepishly. "It's just that I know if it were me in your situation I would probably be in pieces or something. It's obvious how much you two still have together and to watch him celebrate his love with another woman has to be heartbreaking."
"Thank you." Haley said in a soft voice, looking down in her lap.
"Oh my God." Peyton's hand went to her mouth as she shook her head. "God, I must be taking lessons from Brooke. I just - isn't it hard?"
Haley looked up at Peyton with a sympathetic smile, her friend was now turning a small shade of red because of her pervious statement, one that seemed to nail Haley right in the heart. "It does, but we're friends now and I need to grow up. What we had together was great, but it's in the past and I just want him to know I'm okay with his future."
That was a lie, but it hadn't started out that way. When Haley had stepped off the plane to arrive for the couple's happiest week she had told herself she was okay with this that there was another man out there for her. As the days passed Haley realized that that man was Nathan, whether he knew it or not and then the other night had only added fuel to the blazing fire. It wasn't right and Haley knew it, but it was something she couldn't control. She wanted to swallow hard and just bury the whole thing, but life never did work out the easy way.
"Wow, you're a better person than I am." Peyton smiled. "I probably would have came here just to see if I could ruin the wedding. I know, very immature of me, but if I - you know what? Nevermind."
Haley already knew what Peyton was going to say; 'If I was as in love with that man as you are with Nathan.' Her face said it all, but Haley just smiled slightly, feeling her insides flip around and around.
"Want to know a secret?" Peyton asked, after a moment of comfortable silence.
"What?" Haley asked, surprised to here such a question come from her friend's lips.
"I think this Janis chick is just some sorry excuse for Nathan to say he moved on first." Peyton smirked. "I know it sounds very - odd, but that's what I believe. Jake and I both actually. He's not over you, Hales, trust me. When we saw him in New York not too long after the wedding all he could do was say how beautiful you looked and ask what you were up to these days."
Haley shook her head, "I don't think so. I really do believe he loves Janis."
"Likes a lot, maybe." Peyton shrugged. "Definitely not love."
Haley wanted to believe that, she really did, and her mind always went back to his confession of always loving her, but she just couldn't find it in her to believe it would all work out that way. Not in this lifetime at least.
"I know it sounds crazy and I really didn't mean to fill your head with these sort of things since you seem to be taking this week well, but I thought you needed to know." Peyton stood up and smiled down at Haley. "Don't throw that song away. You might be surprised, it could be your next Grammy winning idea."
Haley nodded, looking down at her pad of paper, "Thanks Peyton."
"Tell Brooke I said hi and I'll see you guys tonight at the engagement party." Peyton waved, leaving Haley sitting alone on the deck.
She picked up her guitar and started singing a new song, one that she had been working on since she arrived in Hawaii, "I hear you ought to be congratulated, so I guess that's what I'll do."
"Lookin' hot, Singer Girl." Brooke leaned up against the counter of their small kitchen as Haley walked into the dim lighting, watching her brunette friend munching on a bowl of ice cream.
"Brooke, you do realize at an engagement dinner we do eat, right?" Haley laughed.
"You do realize that when a man is engaged that it doesn't mean he's almost off limits but that he actually is, right?" Brooke mocked Haley's tone with a smirk on her face as Haley's seemed to fall and Brooke bit on her bottom lip slightly. "Too soon?"
Haley held up her hand, using her thumb and pointer finger to show just how soon it was. Brooke took another of ice cream and mumbled an apology. Haley just smiled slightly and adjusted her olive green shoes that she wore to go along with her pearl colored strapless dress that had a small ribbon of the same olive color in the middle. Her hair was pulled off of her tan shoulders in a elegant bun with only small hoop earrings as jewelry.
"Come on, lets get out of here before they call out a search team." Brooke nodded her head toward the door as she adjusted her own yellow dress and flipped her hair a few more times for volume purposes.
Haley just nodded, grabbing her small purse off the counter once again and walking out the door behind her friend, shutting it with a small click
The night seemed to be going rather well for everyone in the Roberts and Scott party as they talked through their entrée and were now just enjoying each other's company. Since this was the official engagement party both parents gave their respective speeches, followed by the best man and maid of honor. Lucas had given a touching speech, but it seemed forced, something only a few, like Haley, took note of when he sat back down.
The restaurant itself had done everything in its powers to please the celebrity party and got whatever they wanted. The table they sat at was off in the shadows of the elegant place, but had a brilliant view of the stage where live music had been played throughout their entire time being there.
Haley and Brooke were in the middle of a conversation when a woman dressed in a nice, but business like, suit walked up next to Haley's chair and bent down so that she was nearly eye level with the blonde.
"Miss James?" The woman smiled at Haley as she turned her attention toward the older woman. "My name is Kini Nacar and I'm the manager of this restaurant. Some of us at the restaurant were wondering if you'd grace us with a song. We just adore your music around here."
The question was somewhat of a surprise to Haley and her eyes went wide for a moment, but she smiled politely, "I don't know. I really don't think I could do it without some sort of back up music or something."
She could, but she was mostly just trying to make excuses of why she couldn't play.
"We have a guitar you could use if you like." The woman pushed and Haley couldn't help but feel all the eyes at their table on her.
She just shook her head again, "I don't know-"
"Oh come on, Haley." Janis spoke up from next to Nathan, who was busy staring hard at his plate. Something he had taken to most of the night since once again Haley had been seated directly across from him.
Haley bit down on her bottom lip as she looked at Brooke who sat between her and Lucas. "Go on, Singer Girl, it was what you were born to do after all and they are your fans."
Haley sighed slightly and turned to nod her head toward the woman who had asked her to sing who seemed overly pleased with her decision. She quickly walked up toward the now empty stage and took center stage, right in front of the microphone. Haley stood up, sending small death rays toward Brooke before turning her attention toward the stage.
"Ladies and gentlemen, do we have a special treat for you tonight." The woman grinned, looking around at all the faces who looked up at her from their dinner. "The award winning, Haley James is here tonight and has agreed to actually sing us a little something."
Haley walked up the steps toward the stage and looked at all the faces, some pulling out their cameras to take a picture, others just in awe as they clapped. The woman stepped back, handing Haley an old acoustic guitar as she took a seat on a nearby stool, looking out at the crowd with a smile.
"Hello." She said, her eyes looking through the spotlights of the restaurant stage. "Um, I really didn't have anything planned to sing, obviously, but I thought that since this a very impromptu performance I'd just test out a new song of mine, sound like a good idea?"
The crowd applauded their approval and Haley glanced toward the table she had just stood from, her stomach was turning and tossing at the idea that she was actually going to sing this song. One she figured would only be hers to share with herself. She took in another breath and looked back around the crowd, "I wrote this song not too long ago actually. It just sort of came to me through - a bumpy road in my life. Something we can probably all relate with, somewhat. Here it goes."
She looked down at the guitar and started playing the familiar cords she had identified with this song, the tune started off low and calming as she turned her head back up toward the crowd and looked around, opening her mouth so that first few lines of the song could fall, "Fillin' up my empty days with red wine, wonder what you think of me? Lying in the grass alone and wasted. Nothing's how it used to be."
Her voice trailed for a second and then her voice came back in the same calming tone, "I wanna be the first to call and tell you; yesterday I heard the news. I hear you ought to be congratulated so I guess that's what I'll do."
The sound of the guitar was all that could be heard in the restaurant for a moment as Haley closed her eyes as if she were feeling the tune, but really she was trying to swallow her fear of what was about to come out next, but with the strong alto voice she had she belted it out as if she wasn't afraid at all, "I'm so happy for you I could cry. Yeah, I'm so elated. Cross my heart and hope to die, I don't think about you every night before I close my eyes. I'm so happy for you, baby, I could cry."
The restaurant was silent as they all looked toward the famous Haley James, actually there and singing live for them. It was something no one in the audience expected, but it wasn't that 'star factor' that one table was silent about. It was the words of her song, the words that most knew were personal for the young singer, they just had no idea how much.
"Listen to the sound of my head pounding, wishing it was all make-believe. Praying for skies to open up and wash away your memory." Haley had blocked out every thought in her mind as she just sang the song, terrified what the outcome would be after she was done. "I can walk around with a pretty face on. Even when I'm black and blue. What's the point in telling' everyone I'm not over you?"
That seemed to be what caught everyone's breath around that certain table. Brooke especially, her heart was racing for the young girl on stage as she pulled her eyes away she looked around the table. Peyton seemed to have the same look on her face, just not as noticeable and Lucas just sat in his sit ridged. Brooke dared a glance toward the happy couple, Nathan's eyes were locked on Haley as though he saw no other and Janis, oh God, Janis. She sat there with her mouth partially opened with shock. This wasn't going to end well.
"I'm so happy for you I could cry. Yeah, I'm so elated. Cross my heart and hope to die, I don't think about you every night before I close my eyes. I'm so happy for you, baby, I could cry. Cry about the love we used to have. Cry that I won't ever get you back." Haley was singing from her heart truly and it showed. Finally her voice seemed calm itself as she fell back in toward the ending of the song. "Fillin' up my days with red wine. Wonder what you think of me? I'm so happy for you I could cry. Yeah, I'm so elated. Cross my heart and hope to die, I don't think about you every night before I close my eyes."
Her eyes scanned the audience, locking with those pair of blue eyes she had been fearing for days as she opened her mouth for the near whisper last line, "I'm so happy for you, baby, I could cry."
As the music faded everyone in the restaurant stood up and began to clap and to Brooke's surprise Janis was one of the first ones up and clapping. Brooke stood up soon after and clapped, still surprised Janis hadn't gotten the meaning; maybe she was even dumber than they had thought.
"That was amazing." Janis nodded leaned in to speak with Nathan, who was also standing as he clapped.
Nathan smiled slightly, "She definitely got her point across."
Haley thanked the crowd and placed the guitar back in it's respectful spot as she made her way toward the table, afraid of what she'd hear next. When she arrived back she expected to be scolded by Janis, even thrown out of the party altogether. She deserved it, what she had done was worse than she could have imaged. She wasn't even sure what had possessed her to sing it, maybe her heart had just been screaming to her for so long she at to say something.
"Wow Haley," Janis shook her head with a smile as she took a seat once again. "Whatever I've said about your music in the past was definitely off. You have amazing talent."
Haley had been fearing this woman's words for so long she nearly wasn't sure how to respond when she had actually complimented her, "Um, thanks."
Brooke and Haley shared a look of complete relief as Janis just smiled, her eyes lighting up as she seemed to get an idea, "Oh! Haley, why don't you sing at the wedding? You have tomorrow to prepare if you like, most of the set up is done so you can have the stage completely at the reception hall."
Haley found herself wanting to ask what had happened to the real Janis, because this one definitely wasn't the real one. Instead she just cleared her throat and shook her head, "I don't think I can do that."
Janis frowned slightly, but then shrugged, "Alright, but the offer stands if you change your mind. I know both Nathan and I would love to hear you sing again, especially at our wedding. Right honey?"
That was the moment Nathan and Haley locked eyes again and for a moment the world faded away, all that could be seen between the two of them was the night some days before. The one where all had been shared and nothing stopped them. Nathan cleared his throat, breaking them both from their thoughts as he nodded, "You always could be convincing with your words, Haley."
Haley bit down hard on her lip as she looked down at the table and Janis smiled up at her husband to be. She had to be missing some brain cells not to see the connection between them, that was the conclusion Brooke had come to as she sat next to her best friend.
"I can't be doing this." Haley paced outside her and Brooke's house hours after the dinner had ended and everyone had headed back to their respective places. Well, actually Brooke had taken to staying with Lucas lately, their little fight from yesterday hadn't lasted longer than Brooke and Haley's. "This is wrong and I know it. In fact, I've never been this sort of girl. What has happened to me? I'm a homewreaker. I should probably talk to Taylor, we could be partners in crime. Ruining one relationship after another. The Homewreaker Sisters."
"You know, they say it's unhealthy to talk to yourself. I'm sure that even includes musicians." A familiar voice came through the darkness of the warm night and stepped up onto the wooden deck, making Haley yelp slightly at sudden voice of another.
Her brown eyes went wide from fear and then she saw who it was, "Nathan, you shouldn't be here."
Nathan slide his hands into his pockets and stood up against the railing of the deck, looking over at a beautiful Haley who had taken her hair down so that it fell softly around her shoulders and she wore a pair of black sweat pants and a blue tang top, with the moon glowing above she looked almost God sent.
"We've already messed up on that one, Hales." He said, his voice soft and deep.
Haley sighed, she just wanted to run to him and have him promise her the world, but life certainly didn't work like that and she shook her head fiercely, "That doesn't matter, Nathan. God, I already feel awful about this whole situation. What I - we did was wrong and we should just bury it. Act like it never happened, alright?"
"What if I can't do that?" Nathan's question was what almost made Haley melt, but she told herself she wouldn't do that. Not this time, she could ruin another person's happiness because of what she wanted. She had her chance and it was long gone. This was Janis' chance and no matter how much Haley knew it wouldn't work she at least had to give it to her.
"Then we need to stay away from each other completely." Her voice was strong, but her eyes showed the want and vulnerability she definitely didn't want Nathan to see. "For Janis."
Nathan swallowed hard, kicking at the wood gently below him. He hadn't expected that answer from her, but part of him knew she was right. The other part, the part he was listening to, was screaming to him that he was making the biggest mistake of his life not at least fighting for her.
"At least answer me this," He finally spoke after a long pause, "Why did you give up? On us?"
Haley took in another deep breath and crossed her arms against her chest, "Because I thought that's what you'd want."
"What I'd want? Why would I want something like that?" Nathan asked, confused with her answer.
"I was going to Stanford that fall and you were going off to Duke." Haley sighed. "It was just easier on both of us."
"I would have dropped Duke in heartbeat if it meant I got to keep you around, you know that." Nathan argued, her reasoning still not making sense.
Haley looked down at the floor and shook her head, "I have no better answer for you, Nathan, because personally I don't know why I did. I actually knew I was making a mistake when I said goodbye for the last time, but you never asked me to stay so I threw the acceptance letter away."
"Acceptance letter?" Nathan's eyes shot up.
"To Duke. I got it a few weeks before we graduated."
"You never told me-"
"I wanted you to ask." Haley cut him off. "I wanted you to tell me that you couldn't see a future without me and that you'd do anything to have me come with you."
Nathan's voice was raised slightly, "How was I supposed to know that?"
"You just were." Haley bit back.
Then silence fell over them, they both stood on the opposite ends of the deck, just listening to the waves crashing around them. This wasn't how life was supposed to be for them. They end had been because of a lack of communication and here they were, wanting nothing else than to fight for each other, but almost too tired to go on anymore.
"Then why?" Nathan asked, breaking the cold silence.
"Why what?" Haley's voice was still bitter.
"Why did you come this week? To see if I was really happy? To see if I'd actually moved on or if I'd fall back in love with you, because I did, Haley." Nathan began to walk closer to her, but his voice was still raised. "The moment I saw you standing in that hotel lobby I was lost, there has never been any other girl out there for me and I knew that even when I asked Janis to marry me. I was an idiot, but God, I thought I had lost you."
"You never called." Haley's voice meet his in tone. "You never even once acted like you were still interested. You just went on like everything was perfect and then invite me here? So my question to you is; why did you invite me? To see me break down completely? Become the worst of myself and sleep with a taken man? Because you saw all of those, Nathan!"
"I invited you here because I wanted to see you." Nathan's voice had dropped to nearly silent.
"See you! See you get married to another woman? What is that your last stab to my heart, if so then lets just leave it. It's already in two so I'm sure it can handle one last jab." Haley hissed. "So come on, Nathan, make you last move at destroying my heart, since you're so damn good at it."
"What about that song?" Nathan yelled. "You think that was easy for me to listen to? God Hales, everyone knows it was about you and me. What we had."
"Everyone except your genius of a fiancée." Haley's voice was bitter as the words dripped from her lips like venom. Nathan didn't seem to take notice or didn't care as she stepped away from her again.
He finally sounded defeated as he shook his head and looked back up at Haley, his eyes full of hurt and pain. "There wasn't a day I didn't want you. All of you. You were always it for me, you always will be, but maybe Lucas was wrong."
"Lucas?" Haley asked, her own voice calming down. "What does he have to do with it?"
"He said that my heart wants what it wants and sometimes that comes with battles." Nathan sighed. "I was willing to fight those battles, but it takes two, Hales. I'm not going to do it alone."
The silence between them was deadly as Haley seemed to be thinking his words over in her head. She was fooling herself if she told herself she didn't want to. Didn't want to fight with him. She took a few steps forward until she was standing almost against him, her hand gently going toward his cheek, turning his face so that he was looking at her.
"Then don't."