A/N: In the first chapter of this story I mentioned that Kenzie had a hard introduction to adult life, and kept it bottled up inside until Gunner drew it out of her...does anyone want to read that story as a oneshot?

Less than a week after Kenzie moved home, Gunner, who'd all but moved into the shotgun before the attack, moved back out, retreating to his house along the bayou. When he found out, Lee was furious, roaring up to Gunner's on his Ducati and slamming the front door open.

"What da fuck, Gunna'? Ya abandon 'er just when she needs ya da most?" Lee growled, his accent thickening with his rage.

Gunner looked up wearily from the couch where he'd just collapsed, hoping to find some sleep.

Lee paced in front of him, his expression dangerous. "Well?"

With a groan Gunner sat up and covered his face with his hands, elbows resting on his knees; after a long moment he dropped his hands. "When Lacy's hurt, or in pain, when she's sad or crying, what's the first thing you want to do?"

Lee paused.

"You want to hold her, right? Gather her in your arms, kiss her, tell her everything's going to be alright, even if that's a lie? You want to take away the pain anyway you can." Gunner held up his hands helplessly. "How can I do that? When I can't touch her? When I can't even touch the woman I love!? Do you have any fucking idea what that's doing to me? I don't trust myself around her anymore...I'm an addict and she's my favourite drug. I'm going to fuck up; forget or not care anymore and ... and screw up whatever progress she's made, turn her back into that wreck we pulled out of Brazil."

Lee stopped pacing and sat down on the couch beside Gunner. After a long moment of silence, Lee spoke. "I didn't think of that, you're right...if this was Lacy...I don't know, I'd have to save her from myself too. It's all you know to do, right? Try to comfort them anyway you can...sorry, man, I didn't appreciate that."

"Before all this," Gunner made a circle motion with his index finger, "we were never apart. Even when we were in different places, we were never APART. Now, she's behind this wall and I can hear her crying and I can't reach her. I've never felt so fucking helpless!" He buried his face in his hands again.

Lee reached over, resting a hand on Gunner's shoulder. "She'll get through this, we all will. Maybe we can ask Luna to stay with Kenz so she's not alone in that house - "

"I already did, she's on her way over." Gunner muttered.

Lee nodded, "tell me man, when this is all behind us, you still planning on asking Kenz to marry you?"

Gunner lifted his head, fixed Lee with a sour eye. "What makes you so sure she'll still want to?"

"She will, you too are the fuckin' definition of soul mates."

"I'll be your brother." Gunner mumbled, a small smile pulling at his lips.

"Yeah, alright." Lee replied easily. "You're not so bad now that Squeak's got you housebroke. Now get some sleep, you look like hell." Lee stood, walked back to the front door.

"Leave me alone then so I can." Gunner grumbled, laying back down and covering his face with a cushion.

Rolling his eyes, Lee shut the door behind him.

Kenzie met with Dr. Fellows daily at first, Luna or someone else from the team faithfully shuttling her back and forth to his private practice or to the hospital. He was impressed with her progress, but Kenzie felt frustrated. She missed Gunner and what they'd had, the passion that had meant even a small heated glance could lead to a fevered quickie; location be damned, like that memorable time in the back corner of the home renovation store when they'd been looking at kitchen backsplashes. Not only the sex, but Kenzie just missed Gunner period, they were best friends as well as lovers, and the chasm between them wore at Kenzie's very psyche.

Seeing this, Dr. Fellows advised Kenzie and Gunner to spend casual time together; without any expected intimacy. They went slowly, Gunner joining Kenzie and Luna for lunch or more often, supper, Luna often excusing herself and leaving, allowing them time alone to talk. They'd settle on opposite sides of the couch afterwards to watch movies or television, sneaking looks at each other out of the corners of their eyes.

Gunner was having a hell of a time coping. He missed Kenzie so much and it tore at him constantly. He forced himself into sobriety, abandoning even alcohol; knowing one drink would lead to two, would lead to ten; would lead to him calling up an old dealer and emerging as Crankenstein again. More than once on a dark desperate night he'd find his phone in his hand, a dealer's old number half dialed, and he'd throw the phone away from himself in disgust; he'd gone through four phones so far in that manner; Thorn no longer commenting when Gunner silently handed him the old destroyed phone and its shiny replacement for data and information transfer. He threw himself into the most mundane of hobbies. He relandscaped his yard, adding a pond and a winding rock wall. Although never one to putter around weeding before, he started a garden and flowerbed, finding solace in the quiet repetition. Bend, pull weed, hoe. Bend, pull weed, hoe. He went to the gym daily, throwing himself into punishing workouts past the point of exhaustion, egging on sparring partners in the ring, fighting two or three separate guys a day. His appetite had gone to shit, he had no desire to eat; picked at his food whenever a plate was placed in front of him. As a result, the new gym time did not add muscle, but burned it away. Gunner started reading to fill in the dark hours at night when sleep eluded him and it was too dark outside to weed. Starting at first with his own meager collection, Gunner soon was borrowing from Toll's impressive library, usually finishing a book a night.

The team worried for him, their invitations to join them for cards or movie nights never flagging even though Gunner rarely took them up on them.

Three months today. Gunner stared at the calendar. He'd developed a bit of an obsession with watching the days stack up. Each day that passed without Kenzie was a fresh twist in the knife through his heart, another weight added to the already suffocating pile on his chest. Time had done nothing to lessen the agony, it had simply gone from a fresh arterial spray to a constant venous drip, the wound reopening daily when Gunner woke up with that side of the bed empty, the scent of Kenzie's green apple shampoo long since gone on the pillow; to be replaced instead by the unique tang of the heartbroken tears Gunner cried into it almost nightly.

This morning, 90 days since Gunner's world collapsed around him, found him on his knees in his living room; surrounded by piles of LPs. He'd decided to reorganize them, alphabetically by album before, now reverse-alphabetical by artist. That done, the bathroom got a ruthless and unnecessary scour; the floor clean enough to eat off of, scrubbed with a toothbrush just like the old military days. At lunchtime Gunner made himself a BLT, then stood and stared at it, having no appetite for food. Eventually he threw it in the garbage. Desperate now, he grabbed his keys and climbed on his bike; he'd cruise aimlessly, maybe a new occupation would come up; the entire yard was completely free of weeds, even the neighbour's flowerbeds within Gunner's arms reach over the fence had been weeded; and the fish in the pond had been terrorized all day yesterday by Gunner reorganizing their aquatic plants again.

As he rode, Gunner found his attention drawn to his arms. The entire Expendables team had loved Tool's drawing of Kenzie the Valkyrie, and everyone had committed to getting it tattooed on their person, just like the black raven and skull of the Expendables logo. Gunner, Lee and Barney were already done, and Kenzie, who started slowly back at the tattoo shop last week, had started on Toll, Smilee and Luna. Gunner had gotten his Valkyrie ink on his left inner forearm, and as he rode, he decided to put something on the now conspicuously bare inner right forearm. Kenzie wouldn't be there, she'd worked yesterday on Smilee; Gunner watching her sadly from the corner of the shop as he, Lee, Toll, Caesar and Doc played cards; his mind only half on the playful banter of his team-mates. Once done the outline, Kenzie had sat back, said something that made Smilee laugh, and accepted his one-armed hug easily. She was making real progress with everyone but Gunner, Dr. Fellows prediction having become agonizingly true. She seemed almost back to normal with everyone else, but would still freeze or blush, a faint tremor in her limbs, around Gunner.

Mid-afternoon, Gunner pulled up to the shop. The roll-door was closed, indicating that Tool had a customer he was working on, so Gunner stepped through the man door beside it. Once inside, he paused, waiting for his eyes to adjust from the bright sunlight outside.

"Hey brother!" He heard Tool call.

"Hey Tool." He threw back, then stopped.

Kenzie lay on her side on the table in front of Tool, getting inked. Slowly, tempted to turn around and leave, Gunner walked over, trying not to let his eyes rove over Kenzie's bare side too much. She lay on her right side, right arm tucked under her head. Kenzie had lost weight after Brazil, becoming too skinny in Gunner's eyes; but she'd gained it back slowly and now filled out her jeans oh so sweetly again. Her waistband was pushed down a few inches and her Alice Cooper tank top was pulled up, tucked into a purple bra. Gunner wondered idly if that was the purple bra with little skulls on the cups or the one with flowers. Tool was sitting at her side, outlining the Valkyrie on Kenzie's left ribcage. Gunner didn't miss the symbolism. The left side of Kenzie's ribcage had been shattered by Saulter, seven ribs broken in seventeen places and had been the physical injury that had taken the longest to heal, even longer than the stab wound in her abdomen that Paul said should have killed her. Gunner knew from the dinner and movie nights that until just a few days ago, Kenzie's ribs had always been paining her by the end of the day.

"Hi Gunner." Kenzie said shyly.

"Sit down, brother. Take a load off." Tool said, jerking his chin at a nearby chair, winking at Gunner.

Gunner pulled the chair over, sat down by Kenzie's head. She smiled tentatively, then lifted her left arm from where it had been resting along the back of her head and held it out to him. Equally as hesitant, Gunner enfolded Kenzie's hand in his, her's disappearing in his much larger palm. He rested his hand on the edge of the table, squeezed her fingers gently. When Kenzie didn't tense or pull away he slowly began to stroke the back of her hand with his thumb, a relaxed smile forming on Gunner's face.

"How's your pain level darlin'?" Toll asked.

"Had worse." Kenzie replied, a tentative grin on her face as she met Gunner's eyes. He grinned back, his heart soaring.

After a few minutes of peaceful silence, Tool began to hum and grinning, Kenzie joined him until Tool lifted the gun, fixed her with a stony glare and said, "stop moving, honey."

"Ooops," Kenzie murmured sheepishly at Gunner. He grinned and with a 'watch this' wink began to hum the same song loudly, carefully two beats off from Tool.

"Shut up, you big gorilla." Tool growled, kicking out at Gunner distractedly.

Gunner chuckled and turned his attention back to Kenzie, surprised to see her gazing at him fondly. He smiled down at her, gently lifted her hand and touched it to his lips.

"Alright, sweetheart, you're done." Tool announced, wiping over Kenzie's side once more, then taping a folded section of paper towel over the design. "You know the routine, leave this on an hour, no scratching. We'll look at it next week to see when we can start filling it in." He reached up and gently pulled her shirt back down.

Gunner leaned back, pulling carefully on Kenzie's hand to help her sit up. Kenzie stood, gently pulled her hand free from Gunner's and smoothed her shirt down. She turned and walked towards the kitchen.

"I'm hungry, you guys want a sandwich?" She called over her shoulder.

"Yeah, I could go for one." Tool replied, cleaning up.

"I'll help you." Gunner said, following. Tool grinned at his back.

The kitchen was a small affair that, until Kenzie had come into their lives, been solely the room that held the beer fridge. Once Kenzie had settled in New Orleans, she'd cleaned and reorganized the kitchen, adding another fridge for actual food. Before Brazil, she'd cooked for the team often, but hadn't made any big meals since. The team nonetheless had kept the fridge stocked in her absence, anticipating her return.

Kenzie was rooting in the fridge when Gunner entered and, pulling what she needed out, stood and smiled at Gunner.

"You want one too?"

"Yeah, baby." Gunner breathed.

Flushing her cheeks at Gunner's tender nickname, one she hadn't heard in so long, Kenzie reached across the counter to the bread box. "I forgot...can you grab the ham out of the fridge?" She asked, opening jars and laying out three plates with bread.

"Yeah." Gunner scooted past her to the fridge. The kitchen was long and narrow, with little room for more than one person to manoeuvre, especially if one of those people were Gunner's size.

Grabbing the plate of sliced ham, Gunner lifted it out of the fridge and over Kenzie's head, setting it at her right side. Finding himself almost directly behind Kenzie, Gunner trailed his hand from the plate and, unable to help himself, encouraged by her earlier friendliness, gently rested it on Kenzie's right hip, where her shirt had pulled up and exposed a few inches of smooth skin. His skin tingled at the contact and, intoxicated, he slowly encircled Kenzie's shoulders gently with his left arm, lowering his head into her hair.

Kenzie dropped her head forward with a sigh, resting her chin on Gunner's forearm. "Gunner..." she breathed, her breath warming his skin.

Gunner turned his head to nuzzle into her hair, hand tightening on her hip. He pulled Kenzie back against him and touched his lips to her throat. Suddenly Kenzie tensed, inhaling sharply. With a jerk, she pulled free of Gunner's arms, whirling to face him, eyes wide.

"Kenzie?" Gunner asked, confused.

"I'm sorry, I ... I'm sorry." Tears threatening, Kenzie spun and dashed out.

"Hey! Where you goin', darlin'?" Tool called.

"Gotta run, Tool!" Kenzie choked, slamming the door behind him.

Tool appeared in the kitchen doorway. "What was that about?"

Gunner shook his head.