Chapter 5
EPOV
Two and a half months had flown by so fast that I hadn't even noticed and it was now the middle of November. Bella and I had continued our game of 'Get to Know You' and we had each learned a lot about the other. We had not discussed her brother again and nor had we discussed the Tanya and Laurent situation, though I had told her briefly about it in our game. I was fairly certain that our colleagues had filled her in on other details, but she never once mentioned it to me, proving her to be trustworthy on that account.
My feelings for Bella seemed to be growing and that was scaring me shitless. I tried to remain professional with her, but it was becoming increasingly hard. Each day I saw her brought new torture and new feelings surfaced. I wanted her; I had admitted that much to myself. What I couldn't bring myself to admit was the fact that I wanted her for more than just sex. I knew a purely sexual relationship would not be something she would agree to and nor did I want her to. I think.
I was so confused that my mood swings were giving even me whiplash. In the last few weeks I had managed to play hot and cold with Bella so much that she currently had taken to simply just speaking to me when she had to, even then the conversation was short and clipped. She looked so tired and defeated lately that it nearly killed me to look at her. It didn't help that I hadn't been sleeping properly either. I woke each night drenched in sweat from my dreams of her. The situation was so bad that she had even started to hang around Seth, Angela or Alice now. I felt so bad for treating her this way, but my fears kept holding me back each time I opened my mouth to speak to her and apologise.
I sighed, running my hand through my hair in frustration. If I was honest with myself, I would admit that I missed our laughter and banter of the earlier weeks. Her laugh was just as beautiful as her. It was music to my ears whenever I heard it and lately the only time I heard it was when she was talking to Em or one of the other guys in the office. It didn't help that Mike had taken to flirting with her constantly. She didn't seem to pick up on the fact that he was flirting, but I had. It was pissing me off and I was feeling so jealous that whenever I saw Mike I had to actually remove myself from his presence in order to stop myself from hitting him. That would not go over well with the Chief.
I had just reached the office when I heard my name being called. I turned and found Alice walking towards me. I stopped and waited for her to catch up to me as she did, she reached up and smacked me upside the head
"Ow! Ali! What was that for?" I rubbed the back of my head.
"That, my darling, brother is for being a douche bag" she hissed at me
I stared at my baby sister, who right now looked very pissed off. I had no idea what could have brought out this reaction in her, but, fuck, she was scary when she was pissed
"What did I do now?" I sighed, giving in as I knew that she would list my faults even without me having to ask
"Hmm...Where do I start? Let's see, how about number one: your treatment of Bella in the last few weeks, or number two: Your hot and cold attitude towards her or number three: the fact that you like her but are too much of a shitless wimp to admit it to yourself, let alone anyone else?" she ranted, her hands flailing around in her anger. I took a step back
"I don't know what you're talking about, Ali. I don't like Bella in that way" I lied
Truth was, I did. I just didn't want admit it. These new feeling were scaring me to hell and back. Alice snorted
"Liar. Have you seen the way you look at her, Edward?"I shook my head, no. Alice sighed
"Edward, you're falling for her, if you haven't already and she you. It's plainly obvious to all of us. The only ones who don't seem to realise it are you and Bella" I stared at Alice in disbelief and shook my head again and dropped my gaze to the floor, unable to speak
"Yes, Edward. Look. I love you and all, but if I have to listen to my best friend cry again because of you, I will hurt you. Understood?" my head snapped up at that
"Bella was crying? Why? What happened? Is she ok?" I demanded. Alice smiled sadly at me
"Why do you care, Edward? If she was, it's not like you give a shit" she said
"I do care! She's my partner!" I replied
"Yes, she is and as her partner, why do you care what's going on with her personally? As long as she does her job, right?" I felt the anger overtake me
"She's more than that and you know it! If she's upset then I need to know why!" I cried. Alice shook her head
"No, you don't Edward. You just need to know that she will be professional and make sure your ass doesn't get shot in the field, whether that means protecting you with her life or not. She's just your partner after all" Alice taunted me.
Images of Bella diving in front of a bullet for me rushed through my mind. I saw her lying in a pool of blood, hardly breathing and the image nearly brought me to my knees. The nausea rushed up through my gut and my lungs lost all air. I braced a hand on the wall next to me, trying to hold myself up. Alice continued
"After all you didn't even want a partner, did you? After what Laurent did. Bella asked me last night if she should just request a transfer, make it easier on you to live in the past, mourning a relationship with a tramp that didn't even deserve you in the first place. You know Mike asked her out again for this Friday?"
"Stop, Alice, please" I rasped out, the pain taking over my insides. Alice simply shook her head and continued
"You're losing her, Edward and you know what? Maybe it's for the best. After all, Bella deserve someone who loves her completely and doesn't compare her to their cheating ex-girlfriend" with that she turned and stalked away from me, leaving me hunched over at the wall.
I tried to breathe as Alice's words washed over me in continuous loop:
She should just request a transfer...Mourning a relationship with a tramp that didn't even deserve you... be professional and make sure your ass doesn't get shot in the field... whether that means protecting you with her life or not... After all you didn't even want a partner, did you...Mike asked her out for this Friday...She's just your partner after all
And then the only thing that rang again and again:
You're losing her
I don't know how long I sat there, but at some point I had slid down to the floor, sitting with my back to the wall. That was the position Emmett found me in. He crouched down next to me and placed his hand on my shoulder
"Come on, E. Get up" he said quietly
I looked up at my brother through blurred eyes. I couldn't seem to bring his face into focus. I raised my hand to my face to rub my eyes and found that I was crying; it was the reason why I couldn't focus on Em's face. The tears were blurring my vision. Emmett gently helped me up by lifting me from my arms and led me into the bathroom so that I could clean myself up.
He waited, leaning on the sink next to me, watching me carefully. He opened and closed his mouth several times. I finally turned to him
"Just say it, Em" I whispered
"Ali is right; you're losing her, but I don't agree with her that it maybe for the best. I think it will kill you both"
"What would you guys have me do?" I sighed
"Fight, dammit! This is not you, Ed! Ever since Tanya, you've changed and I don't like this you. I want my brother back!" I was startled at his tone, it was almost desperate and Emmett just did not do desperate
In that moment, it struck me how much Tanya's betrayal had affected not only me, but my family too. They had suffered along with me. I had closed down and in that process I had shut them out too. That realisation hurt, but not as much as it did to realise that Alice and Em were right; I was losing Bella and in the short time that I had known her, she had become very important to me without me even having realise it.
It wasn't a choice anymore. I wanted Bella. I needed Bella. I loved Bella.
Holy Shit...I loved Bella...
That thought staggered me and I almost fell to my knees. I gripped the counter to hold myself upright and glanced at Em, who was now smirking at me
"Finally got it, have you?" I shook my head to clear it
"Oh God, I'm in love with her" I whispered, still in shock over my realisation. Em laughed and clapped me on the shoulder
"About fucking time!" he exclaimed
"Yeah, but what now?" I asked
"Now, you fight, bro" Em said in a matter of fact tone
I stared at my reflection in the mirror and watched as determination overtook my features. I felt my old self rise up within me and the feeling felt good. I felt lighter, freer, as if I could do almost anything I wanted. I squared back my shoulders and turned back to my brother
"Where is she?" Em grinned
"She's at her desk, but I would suggest not doing this in there. Take her out to an early lunch or something" He replied. I nodded and turned to go
"Hey, Ed?" I turned back
"Yeah, Em?"
"Welcome back, bro" we grinned at each other and I strode out of the bathroom towards our office
I noticed as I entered that Mike was leaning over Bella's desk talking to her. She didn't look entirely comfortable, but straightened up as soon as she saw me. I kept my gaze on her as I strolled over and watched as her eyes took in my appearance and expression. My eyes, I knew, were red rimmed from crying, but I also knew that they were alight with determination
"Morning" I said as I neared. Mike stood up straight and Bella looked from me to him
"Hey, Ed. What's up, man? Allergies?" he snickered. I nodded, but didn't take my eyes from Bella's
"Bella, care to join me at the cafe?" I asked, one eyebrow quirked
"Su-sure...Um...now?" she stuttered. I nodded
Bella stood up and gathered her things. I waited and Mike stayed next to me
"Bella, I thought we would have lunch together?" Mike stammered, Bella finished packing up and turned to Mike
"Mike, I appreciate the offer, maybe next time?"
This time, I couldn't control the growl of displeasure that left my lips. Bella's head snapped to me and her eyes widened and darkened. I read the lust there and it pleased me. I winked at her and she gave me a small sad smile. We left Mike still standing at Bella's desk and walked to the elevators in silence.
When we got into the elevators Bella turned to me
"So, what brought on this invitation?" I glanced down at her and found her head cocked to one side. So cute
"We need to talk and the office is not the best place for this conversation" I replied shrugging
"Talk about what, Edward?" Bella asked in a quiet tone
"Us" I said simply. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Bella slowly shake her head from side to side
The elevator opened to the foyer and I led Bella out. We continued walking in silence, but the silence was not awkward. It was comfortable and I realised that no matter what my mood swings had been like in the last few weeks, our silences had always been comfortable. I felt Bella's hand brush along mine and the now familiar shock went through me. I wanted badly to take her hand in mine, but I knew that I didn't have that right...yet.
When we reached the cafe, we found that there was no line, so we placed our orders quickly. We had been to lunch with the others plenty of times and I had noticed that we had the same taste in food as well as almost everything else. A relationship with Bella would be easy, like breathing, and finally that thought no longer scared me as it used to.
We sat at our usual table by the window, still in silence, as we ate. I was trying to gather my thoughts, preparing what I wanted to say to her, but Bella, being Bella beat me to it
"Spit it out, Agent. I'm not getting any younger here" she smirked at me and I laughed
"Ok, ok...I'm just wondering where to start" I said
"How about the beginning and we'll go from there" this girl never ceased to amaze me. I nodded
"Ok, yeah. I'm sorry. I realise that I haven't been the most rational and easiest person to work with in the last few weeks" Bella snorted and nodded in agreement, I continued
"It's just...it's been an adjustment for me to have a partner again, after what Laurent did. I wasn't exactly thrilled to find out that I would be having a new partner and then when I saw that it was you it scared the ever loving shit out of me"
"What the hell does that mean?" Bella asked. I sighed
"I saw you at my parent's anniversary, Bella. When I saw you I had such a strong reaction to you that it scared me, so I hid. I know that's cowardly of me, but Tanya's betrayal really fucked with my head for a long while and I have never and I mean never had such a strong attraction to someone. Not even Tanya and I was with her for three years" Bella sat back stunned
"Strong reaction how?" she whispered. I ran my fingers through my hair nervously. It was time for the truth
"You were beautiful. The sun was shining on you, making your hair shine. You know you have red streaks in your hair when the sun is on it, right?" she nodded dumbly
"Everyone there was dressed up, but you...you were in a simple white skirt, black tank and flats and yet you looked stunningly beautiful. I remember thinking your eyes were a deep brown. It wasn't until I met you on your first day in the Chief's office did I realise that they were in fact a chocolate brown with gold fleck. I have never seen such gorgeous eyes before"
"I thought the same thing about your eyes. They are the greenest eyes I have ever seen" Bella said, I smiled at her, taking in her beautiful features, drinking her in
"Why have you been so hot and cold in the last few weeks, Edward? Was it something I did?" She asked in a sad tone. I shook my head vigorously
"No, Bella, that was all on me" I sighed and thought about how to explain it
"These feelings that I was developing for you scared me, Bella. I thought I loved Tanya and look where it got me and I was afraid that if I allowed myself to fall for you, you had the power to hurt me too. Like I said; Tanya's betrayal fucked me over for a long time" I said quietly
"I'm not Tanya, Edward just like I know that you aren't James" Bella replied softly
"I know that, but it didn't stop the fear" I answered looking away from the hurt in her eyes
I explained in a bit more detail about my relationship with Tanya and the trust I had placed in both her and Laurent. I told her of how Tanya, Laurent and I used to go out for dinner or drinks and we had always got along well. I finally explained to her what it had done to me to find my girlfriend in bed with my partner, how torn and broken hearted I was. However, looking at Bella now, I realised that what I had felt for Tanya in our three year relationship was nowhere near the love I felt for Bella in just two and a half months.
I had learned a lot about Bella through observation and conversations with Alice and Emmett in the last two months. She was an inherently good person. Pure. She was selfless to a fault and cared deeply for her friends and family. Tanya had never gotten along with her own family, let alone mine. Alice had hated her on sight and Emmett had never trusted her from the start. I guess that should have been my wakeup call. Emmett had always been a great judge of character. But then so had I and look where it got me.
Tanya had always refused to spend time with my family and it had always eaten away at me. I always felt like I had to choose; my girlfriend or my family. I hated that. But Bella…Bella was already good friends with two of my family and she had met my parents on their anniversary and according to Alice, they had loved her. How could they not. She was easy to love.
"And now?" she whispered her question, finally breaking the silence. The hesitation in her voice tore at me. I looked her squarely in the eyes as I answered
"The fear is gone, but the feelings remain"
I watched as tears filled her eyes and spilled over. I reached over and brushed them away with my thumb. She leaned into my touch, closing her eyes. I stared at her, committing this moment to memory
"I'm in love with you, Bella" I whispered finally.
She gasped and her eyes flew open, darting frantically back and forth between mine, searching. The tears continued to pour from her eyes. I read the truth in her eyes before she spoke it
"I love you too, Edward...so much"
I got up and sat in the chair next to her and wrapped my arms around her, holding her close as she cried
"Shh baby, it's ok. I'm sorry it took me so long to figure it out. I'm sorry I hurt you so much" I whispered in her ear as I rubbed my hand up and down her back. She pulled back
"It's ok, Edward. As long as we're here now, right?" I smiled and nodded
Lunch was over and the air was cleared. We stepped out into the grey afternoon hand in hand and the feeling of euphoria coursed through me. I stopped just outside the cafe and pulled her into my arms. She wrapped her arms around my neck as I held her by her waist
"Can I take you out to dinner tonight?" I asked
"Yes" she replied and I felt happiness flood me
We stood there planning our date for the night, never once letting go of one another. Finally the topic of work came up
"We'll have to keep it professional at work, you realise?" Bella asked and I heaved a sigh
"I know, I wish we didn't but, for now we'll have to, even if I don't like it" I replied
"Why?" Bella asked
"Erm...Mike? I hear you have a date with him this Friday?" I said with a hint of annoyance in my voice. Bella laughed
"I don't have a date with him. He asked and I haven't answered yet"
"So what are you going to tell him?" I asked
"Easy, my boyfriend won't be too happy if I went out with him" I quirked one eyebrow at her
"Boyfriend, eh?"
"Well, I'm a one man kind of woman and if you envision seeing other people then I have to say this relationship is in trouble from the start, Edward" I threw back my head and laughed as she slapped my chest lightly
"Baby, I'm a one woman guy. There won't be 'other people' for me either"
She smiled the most beautiful smile and my breath caught in my throat. My eyes darted down to her lips and back to her eyes and back again. I wanted to kiss her so badly, but I wasn't sure if she would go for that before the first date, so I started to pull back from her. She pulled me back to her and I saw her eyes dart to my lips, her eyes silently begging me to kiss her.
I leaned down slowly, keeping my eyes on hers. I brushed my lips over hers tentatively. Her eyes fluttered closed at the contact and I leaned forward again and pressed my lips to hers softly. The feeling of her lips on mine was exquisite. They were so soft and sweet. I moaned and moved my lips against hers a little faster. I licked her bottom lip with my tongue and then nipped it with my teeth. She moaned into my mouth and sighed. Her tongue came out to meet mine and a shiver of pleasure ran through me at the contact. Our tongues twirled together languidly and I felt myself start to harden in my pants I pulled back and panted. I pulled Bella tighter to me and rested my head on top of hers. No kiss had ever felt like that before. It was explosive in its entirety
"Wow" I whispered and I felt Bella nod in agreement
"Wow, indeed" she whispered back
We finally unwrapped our arms and pulled back, staring at each other
"Keeping it professional is going to suck ass, isn't it?" Bella asked and I laughed
"Yep. Though I would like to know who you're going to name as your boyfriend when Mike asks?" Bella shrugged
"I'll tell him it's none of his business, which it isn't" I laughed again and led Bella back to the office
We had just arrived at the elevators when the doors opened to reveal Em, Alice and Jasper, who all quirked their eyebrow at us
"E, you good?" Em asked
"We good, Em" I replied, knowing he would pick up on the subtle confirmation
Apparently so did Alice because she let rip an ear splitting squeal and hugged Bella tightly before flinging herself to me
"I knew I could light a fire under you, brother!" she whispered in my ear
I pulled back and looked at her smug expression and then ruffled her hair
"Whatever, demon pixie" she slapped my hand away and wrapped her tiny arms around me again
"I love you, big brother" she said into my chest
"I love you too, baby sis and thank you" I replied
They left for lunch and Bella and I stepped into the elevator. I pulled Bella into my side as soon as the door closed and kissed the top of her head as she leaned into me
"I love you, baby" I said before I released her
"And I love you. Let's go get some work done, yeah?" I nodded
We stepped off on our floor and almost ran into Mike as he was leaving for lunch
"Hey, Bella, back so soon? Did you have a good lunch?" he asked as he eyed me
"Lunch was good, Mike. Are you heading out?"
"Yeah, going to grab a bite to eat. Speaking of which, are we on for Friday?" I bit back a growl and folded my arms across my chest to stop myself from punching him
"I'm sorry, Mike, I have a boyfriend and I don't think he's into open relationships" I smirked at the crestfallen look on Mike's face and the smug look on Bella's
"Oh. Ok...Hey, how come you've never mentioned him before?" Mike asked suspiciously
"Well, the relationship is relatively new and I don't discuss my personal life at work. It's not professional"
With that Bella turned and walked off into our office, leaving me alone with a stunned Mike. He turned to me and narrowed his eyes
"Did you know about her boyfriend?" I shrugged
"Like she said, it's her personal life. Let it go, Mike" I slapped him on the shoulder as I walked off to the office and inwardly laughed at his wince.
I had just walked into the office when Chief called for Bella and I into his office. I exchanged a quick glance with Bella but followed her in silently. I wondered if Chief had somehow found out about our relationship and was about to chastises us for it, or worse, separate us. I shuddered at the thought of being away from her now. Funny how one lunch and one epiphany changed my outlook entirely
"Agent Cullen, Agent Swan, I have your new assignment for you. I know that the stakeout went well and you two have shown that you are very capable of working well together..." he paused and ruffled a few papers on his desk then slid one over the table towards us
"Charity Benefit Ball hosted by the Volturi?" I asked, surprised
"Yes, you two will go in posed as an engaged couple. I need you to recover as much data on Volturi members as you can. Alice is ready with your outfits and props. Emmett and Jasper will be in an unmarked van down the street, Mike and Angela will be in attending as another couple, but they are only there to support you, they will not be active" Bella and I nodded
"Chief, what will be our status on weapons?" I asked
"Negative. They search at the doors, so no armour" he replied.
I frowned. I didn't like the sound of that. We were being sent in to the enemy's lair with nothing to defend ourselves with. Chief must have seen the look on my face because he spoke before I could voice my displeasure
"You two will not be armed, but your back-up will be. You will be wired so we will hear everything you do, ok?"
I nodded and stood up. Bella followed me back to our desk area and put her things away before turning to me and smirking
"I assume you will be wearing a tux tonight?" she asked. I shrugged
"I assume so. It depends on what Alice has for me" I replied.
Then it occurred to me that she would also be dressed up. I tried to envision her in a ball gown, but couldn't. I'm sure the real life image would be ten times better that anything I could come up with anyway. Suddenly I realised that going tonight meant that our first date would have to be postponed. I looked up and saw that Bella was busy on her computer and the rest of the office wasn't paying us any mind either. I pulled out my phone and texted her
I just realised that our plans for tonight have been shot to pieces – E
I watched from under my eyelashes as she pulled he phone out of her bag and read my message. Her fingers flew over the pad briefly as she tapped in her reply before pressing send. Seconds later my phone buzzed in my hand. I opened the message
Interesting choice of words, Agent. Are you re-scheduling or is this your way of trying to get out of it entirely? – B
I shook my head at my screen. Get out of it entirely? Not likely! I quickly typed my response and pressed send.
Who said anything about trying to get out of it? BTW Does me taking you to the ball not count as first date then? – E
Her phones buzzed and she quickly read my text. She snorted then looked at me with amusement. She typed in her response and pressed send
Of course it doesn't count! We'll be WORKING! I'm beginning to think you are trying to fob me off now -B
I read her text and smiled knowing she was only teasing. I sent my response quickly
Me? Fob you off? Never, baby. I have two months of idiocy to make up for. How about a late night ice cream stop after the ball then? – E
I watched her read and reply
Why are you so adamant for tonight to be our first date? And one night will not make up for the two months, you realise that, right? – B
I grinned and winked at her before I replied
If it's not a date, then I don't get to kiss you goodnight and so, so, so want to kiss you goodnight. I know one night won't make up for the last two months, but it will be a start at least, right? – E
I watched as the blush rose up her cheeks as she read my text and smiled even wider. I couldn't help but admire her beauty. The blush only enhanced it. I found myself wondering how far down her blush went, losing myself in a daydream only to be startled out it by my phone buzzing in my hand. I opened the message
Did I say no to a goodnight kiss after the ball? Did you ask? It's definitely a start. Fine. Ice cream after the ball - B
I mentally did a happy dance at her message. I looked up and saw Bella watching me, smiling widely. I winked at her again then quickly sent her one last text
Thank you, baby. Love you – E
If possible, her smile grew even wider when she read my text, then quickly tapping one in return before putting her phone in her bag and turning back to her computer screen still smiling. The happiness on her face was a stark contrast to the sadness and pain of the last two months. My phone buzzed and I quickly read her text
Love you too, but we better get some work done. Seth is starting to look suspicious ;-) – B
I put the phone back into my pocket and covertly glanced up toward Seth and found him watching us, suspicion clear on his face. He looked thoughtful for a moment and then pulled out his phone and started tapping on it. Seconds later both mine and Bella's phone buzzed. Bella looked up at me quizzically. I merely shrugged and pulled my phone out again to check the text. It was from Seth and my guess is he sent the same thing to Bella too as she gasped and looked at me wide eyed first, then at Seth who grinned and winked at her
Guys, you sure know how to make shit obvious, don't you? Unless you want to become this week's office gossip chill the fuck out with your googly eyes! Congrats BTW! About fucking time! – S
I looked at Seth who smiled and shot me a thumbs up. Was it that obvious to everyone but me for the last two months? Clearly it was. Huh, go figure.