WARNING: This is a parody of My Immortal. The following work of fiction is not meant to be taken seriously. But then again, it's not like My Immortal was ever taken seriously to begin with.
Harry Potter and characters (C) J.K. Rowling. My Immortal and characters (C) Tara Gilesbie.
AN: shjt up prepz ok! PS I wnot update, or tell u whether I ment to type "shut" or "shit" when I typed "shjt", ubtil u give me the hed of Jon da Baptist... I mean, ubtil u give me goood revows!
The next day I woke up in my ridiculous excuse of a coffin. I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end thanks to my donut binge, and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that screamed dominatrix. After that last earring debacle, I put on two pairs of skull earrings instead of the traditional four, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with the purple spray-paint I used when I wrote "DUMBLEDORE IS A PREP" on the walls of the Great Hall. I LOVE vandalism!
In the Great hall, I made people think that I was too ridiculous to be taken seriously as a vampire by eating some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood as if the whole eating cereal with blood instead of milk thing wasn't excessive enough already. Suddenly someone had the misfortune of bumping into me. All the blood - which may include the blood that I used on my Count Chocula cereal, the red blood in my glass, and my own blood - spilled over my top.
"Bastard!" I shouted in a rare curse that didn't include the F word. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face, and then he pushed me away, because he didn't like me touching him. Why don't boys like when I touch them? Anyway, he didn't have glasses anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like the ones I gave Dra- I mean, the ones Draco has, and there was no scar on his forhead anymore. He had a manly stubble on his chin because I like him when he's not clean-shaven. He had a sexy English accent, and even then, it still won't do the dialogue I write for him justice. He looked exactly like Joel Madden, even though he never looked like Joel Madden to begin with, in case you've already figured out who he is by now. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him, kind of like an erection, only I'm a girl so I didn't get one, you sicko... but then again, I said in an earlier chapter that I got an orgasm so I might as well have had an erection!
"I'm so sorry." he said in a cliched voice.
"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned, making people think my own Mary Sue doesn't even know who Harry Frickin' Potter is.
"My name's Harry Potter, although Tara wants me to be called Vampire these days." he grumbled.
"Why?" I exclaimed.
"Because after the taste of human blood was shoved down my throat, I've eventually gotten used to it," he giggled.
"Well, despite the numerous reasons that would prove otherwise, I still believe I'm a vampire," I confessed.
"Really?" he whimpered.
"Yeah." I roared, causing all the people in the Great Hall to think "Who let that frickin' lion out of its cage?"
We sat down to talk for a while, but since this chapter's about to end and I'm running out of ideas for dialogue, the conversation is left to your imagination. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me. Ooh, I hope it's some Ho-Hos! I love Ho-Hos. I went away with him, because I can't wait to taste the delicious Ho-Hos!