Chapter 6

The snow sprinkled over the two as they were on their way home. The wind softly brushed against them and Miku could smell the clean air as it fluttered against her hair. It was dark and she saw her shadow collide with Fuutarou's from the lamppost they walked by. Her cheeks were flushed red and her hand tingled from the cold. Every breath turned into a mist that would rise and rise, just to disappear into the atmosphere.

"You know, everyone's social studies grades have been taking a hit lately."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, it's weird. It's as if they don't have someone who can properly explain it to them."

"They must have a lousy tutor then."

"Ha, ha. Very funny." Fuutarou rolled his eyes.

They walked a bit further before Miku responded.

"I'm not skipping out because I don't want to study or anything like that."

"No, you wouldn't," Fuutarou admitted. "You always did try hard. Thank you for that."

"I used to be lazy at our previous school." They walked a bit further. "But ever since you became our tutor," Miku said. "I thought…trying harder to improve wouldn't hurt."

Fuutarou glanced at Miku.

"You're not the only one who thought of that."

Miku was surprised. "Eh?"

"Well," Fuutarou said. He rubbed his bangs between his fingers. His cheeks were red. "I always thought to myself that grades were all that I needed. So I cut myself off from everyone else besides my family.

And… I realized how wrong I was. How stupid I was to think that being smart was everything."

"That sounds like a paradox."

"Over my time as your tutor, I learned so much more."

"I'm glad," Miku smiled. "For the longest time, I thought we were a burden to you."

"Oh, you guys still are."

"Fuutarou!"

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding." Fuutarou sighed and he scratched the back of his neck. "I mean, I was only in this for the paycheck. But now… well, it's not about the money anymore. I had a lot of fun tutoring you guys. And you guys are my…friends now. I mean, I guess what I'm trying to say… is thank you."

He turned to look at Miku. "Thank you for being by my side no matter how hard I made it. Your company made me a better person."

She smiled sadly. It should have made her ecstatic but she only felt a raw guilt gnaw inside of her. She felt like a fraud, taking credit on what she doesn't deserve. "Thank you… But that's not true."

Fuutarou frowned. "What?"

"You may be awkward, blunt, harsh, and weird at times-"

"That hurt."

"-but you always had the warmth and compassion. You were always amazing from the start. You may have your flaws, but doesn't take away on how much of a good person you are. I didn't do anything."

Fuutarou looked stunned.

"And I also wanted improve ever since you became our tutor. Before, I was fine with who I was. I mean, I wasn't. But I just kind of… accepted who I was because I thought there was nothing I could do about it."

Miku always thought to herself as the biggest washout. There was a reason why she was the best impersonator.

"But now, I'm trying really hard to be like my sisters because they're all so amazing… and I'm not." She felt her cheeks cold and she quickly wiped away the wet trails it left behind.

"Miku…"

"And I can't," she sobbed. "I can't be someone like Ichika. I can barely talk."

She was the lifeless doll that no one bought at the garage sale.

"I can't be assertive or useful like Nino. Even you hate my cooking."

She was the broken clock that was out of time.

"I can't be friendly or healthy like Yotsuba. I'm the slowest one in class."

An outdated CD record that played a song no one cared about.

"I can't be diligent or proper like Itsuki. I don't even know what to do with my future."

She wasn't anything special. She wasn't anything spectacular.

She was just Miku. She was just Miku Nakano.

Miku wished she could stop crying, but the crushing emotions of guilt, regret and disappointment swelled inside her. It wouldn't stop.

"And, and, and-" she sounded hysterical. She broke down further.

Miku suddenly felt an embrace around her. She could feel his heart beat against her ear. She sniffed before talking. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Thank you for being my tutor. Thank you sticking by my side even when I made it impossible for you."

"Aw, come on. At least you weren't Nino-"

"It has made me better, learning from you. And I thought to myself I would be worthy of it when I improve."

"But I can't," Miku choked. She felt the emotions surge inside her again. "I can't be who you want me to be, no matter how hard I try. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

She felt the embrace around her tighter. It was warm. He was so warm. "Then…how about Miku?"

She looked up.

"If you can't be your sisters, how about being yourself?"

"You'll be disappointed."

"As if the others aren't just as disappointing."

She felt herself make a strangled laugh. Fuutarou also chuckled.

"It takes time," Fuutarou said. "It doesn't happen all at once. And it's quite ugly"

She looked up. "What are you talking about?"

"Improvement. People don't progress in a way we want it to. Maybe it's because the process of who we were meant to be is life itself."

"Sounds a little too optimistic."

He shrugged. "I like to think that our real selves are more in the future, than in the past."

Miku chewed over what he said. "What's the difference? What difference does it make to say that we become who we were meant to be?"

Fuutarou pondered. "Maybe it does because… Well, I think it's different to say that people become who they were meant to be. I think it places faith in people and the idea that it's for the better."

Miku smiled. He always had a way with words with her. "You and your strange philosophy."

She broke the hug and walked. "Come on, at this pace Nino will be home before us."

"Huh?"

"What?"

"And just like that… everything is okay now?"

"Of course it's not," Miku said. "But…"

"But?"

"No, it's nothing."

"You're still going to have to talk to your sisters, you know."

"Yeah, don't remind me."

"Hey, don't look so upset. It's because they care about you."

"If that's what you say."

"Whether or not you think you undeserved their love, they still think of you as their sister. Your unworthiness isn't going to stop them from caring…and I guess with me as well. Because…you know, I care about you to."

"…"

"Miku?"

"Seriously," Miku laughed, hiding her cheeks that were furiously red. "Someone needs to teach you how to properly talk to people."

"Huh? Don't be so-"

"It can't be helped. I think you're spewing nonsense again…but you put this idea in my head that I can be a bit better." She turned around, with her hands behind her back. She gave him a smile. "So you'd better take responsibility, okay?"

Fuutarou stood there, giving her a big grin. "Yeah," he said. "You can count on it."

They eventually made their way home to find everyone greet them.

"You're late. What were you guys doing? Even I came here before you guys!"

"Miku! I don't get this problem at all! Help me!"

There were shouting and the place hectic as ever. Fuutarou glance towards Miku to find her smiling.

"What got you smiling?"

She smiled it off as she joined her sisters. "It's nothing."

Thank you.

"If you say so…THAT SAID, YOU MISSED ON SO MANY TUTORING! GET READY FOR TONIGHT'S CRAMMING SESSION."

"Can we eat first?"

"I agree with Itsuki!"

"Fuutarou-kun, no need to get too excited-"

Miku laughed as she watched her family. She wasn't like them…but maybe she didn't have to.

Thank you for accepting me.

She was Miku Nakano. And maybe, just maybe, that was okay

That's it! Let me know how you felt about it! Were there a lot of mistakes? (yes. yes). But I really enjoyed writing this and I hoped you enjoyed reading this as well.