Uncanny Excalibur

Chapter 6: The Return of Longshot- Part 2

By

The Uncanny R-Man

Disclaimer- All familiar characters belong to Marvel. Sonic Blue and Kid Razor belong to L1701E.

Quote of the day- 'I am so great! I am so great! Everybody loves me! I am so great!'- Bart Simpson (The Simpsons)

Mojo World-

Meggan and Warbird were sitting in their cell. The match between Amora and Hepzibah had just finished and the pair was awaiting the return of their teammate.

There was a flash of light as Amora appeared in the room.

'Way to go, Amora!' Meggan grinned as she patted the Enchantress on the back. 'You kicked ass!'

Amora just shrugged modestly.

'Meh, twas nothing.' The immortal replied. 'I didst have an unusual amount of fun. Twas much for enjoyable then seducing Thor.'

'What happened with you two, any way?' Warbird asked. 'I thought you only had eyes for Thor. Now you're hitting on Sonic Blue. Is there something not quite right in the bedroom department?'

'My relationship with Thor twas enjoyable while it lasted but I didst decide that brawn alone is not enough, I need somebody with a keen mind, just like Sonic Blue.'

'You do realize he's a minor, right?' Meggan asked. 'He's still in school.'

'I wilt soon think of a way to deal with that problem.' Amora replied. 'I am the Enchantress after all, nothing is impossible for me.'

'Hey guys…' Warbird said as she spied action on a screen nearby. 'It looks like it's Kid Razor and Sonic Blue's turn.'

'Great!' Meggan grinned, clapping her hands excitedly. 'I love ladder matches!'

The three women turned to watch their teammates' ladder match. Hopefully their match would go as well as Amora's did…

Longshot's cell-

Dazzler had released Longshot from his shackles on the wall and was sitting on the floor with his head resting on her lap.

'As much fun as snuggling with you is, don't you think we had better escape?' Longshot asked. 'The guards will be here any minute.'

'I'll blow their faces off as soon as they step in the door.' Dazzler replied as her hand glowed with her mutant power.

'Umm Ali, I want to escape as much as the next guy but are you sure that killing is really the way?' Longshot asked.

'Well, you killed Mojo that time.' Dazzler replied. 'Those guards deserve every photon they get.'

'But they're just mindless drones, Ali.' Longshot said. 'They've been bred to be guards. They know nothing else.'

'Okay, I'll go easy on them.' Dazzler sighed. 'You know, you can really cramp a girl's style.'

The wrestling ring-

The tag team ladder match between Kid Razor, Sonic Blue and a pair of mystery opponents was in full swing.

The Ohio Connection's opponents turned out to be Kl'rt and Paibok, also know as the Super-Skrull and the Power Skrull respectively. Both of them were long-time foes of the Fantastic Four. Kl'rt had the exact same powers as the Fantastic Four along with the usual Skrull powers of shape-changing and hypnosis. Paibok also had the ability to hypnotise and change shape as well as the ability to generate cold and ice and bioelectric blasts.

Kid Razor fended off the two Skrull warriors with his Power of Rock blasts form his guitar as Sonic Blue took his position atop the ladder in the middle of the ring.

Instead of making a grab for the case of cash however, he dived off the ladder, not unlike the infamous Jimmy 'Superfly' Snucka cage dive many years ago.

The audience oohed as Sonic Blue landed on the stunned Paibok. Meanwhile, Razor smashed the Skrull upside the head with his enchanted guitar, a move Razor called the Van Halen Hammer.

Kl'rt saw this as his opening and let rip with a fire blast just like the Human Torch. Kid Razor was ready for this however, as he protected his friend and teammate with a force field.

'Bah! Cowards!' Kl'rt yelled as he battered on the force field with his Thing-like fists. 'Come out and fight me!'

'Your wish is my command, ugly!' Kid Razor replied as he let rip with a Power of Rock-enhanced Sweet Chin Music, just like his wrestling hero, Shawn Michaels.

Kl'rt grunted in pain as the colossal kick sent him tumbling out of the ring.

'Great! We're home free!' Sonic Blue cheered. 'Now we just need to climb up the ladder and nab the cash.'

'Not just yet.' Kid Razor told his friend, trademark smirk on his face. 'The Kid of Rock has one more trick up his sleeve.

Sonic Blue held Paibok back with a sonic blast from his gauntlets while Razor set the ladder in one corner of the ring and began to climb. Once the Kid of Rock was positioned correctly, his back facing the stunned Super-Skrull, he vaulted off the back of it in a Shooting Star Press.

The audience cheered at the successful use of a high-risk move like that.

'Razor, heads up!' Sonic Blue yelled as he tossed Razor a steel chair.

Razor grinned evilly as he cottoned on to what Sonic Blue was on about. He climbed back in to the ring and positioned himself, with the chair in his hands in a pose identical to Sonic Blue's.

A drowsy Paibok got to his feet and rubbed his head.

'Conchairto!' The Ohio Connection yelled as they slammed Paibok upside the head with their chairs in a move echoing the former duo known as Edge and Christian.

The audience whooped it up some more and began to chant.

'We want tables! We want tables!'

'How about we give the people what they want?' Razor asked.

'Way ahead of you, buddy.' Sonic Blue replied as he nabbed some tables and set them up in the middle of the ring. Kid Razor then held the unconscious Paibok by the legs over the tables while Sonic Blue bounced back off the ropes and tackled the Skrull out of his friend's arms, smashing him through the table.

'3-D!' The audience yelled at the sight of the Dudley Boyz' patented mood.

'I will crush you!' Kl'rt snarled.

'Looks like tall, green and ugly Hulk-wannabe over there wants a taste of Mr Socko.' Razor muttered as he removed his boot and placed his sock on his hand.

Sonic Blue just stood back and watched as Razor latched on to the Skrull's mouth with the sock and wrestled him to the ground.

While Razor was forcing the Skrull to tap out, Sonic Blue grabbed the ladder and set it up in the middle of the ring before climbing it and making a grab for the case of case.

The audience cheered in excitement as Sonic Blue tore the case from its mooring and fell back down to the ring.

Kid Razor pulled his friend up and held his hand in triumph.

'Booyah! The Ohio Connection rules! In your face you giant boogers!'

'Razor, don't taunt the Skrulls.' Sonic Blue hissed. 'They may be losers but there's no need to make fun. It's unsporting.'

'The Kid of Rock will taunt whoever he damn likes.'

'Whatever.' Sonic Blue shrugged.

Meggan and Warbird's cell-

Meggan and Warbird were leaping around in celebration at the sight of their teammates' victory. Amora just smiled happily at her beloved Sonic Blue's victorious efforts.

'Well done, my beloved.' The Asgardian enchantress said to herself. 'Thou hast exceptional battle skills as well as thine awesome intelligence.'

The victorious Ohio Connection appeared in a flash of light and Amora instantly latched on to Sonic Blue.

'Welcome back, O victorious and handsome Spencer!' Amora cooed as she removed his visor and smothered him with kisses. 'Thou wert wonderful!'

'Uhh, thanks…?' Spencer replied, trying desperately to hide his blush.

'Do you two lovebirds want the Kid of Rock to leave you alone for a bit?' Kid Razor snickered. Sonic Blue just glared back at him.

'I don't think we've got much time for smoochies.' Meggan replied. 'I can sense somebody approaching.'

As if in reply, the door to the cell was blown off its hinges by a photon burst courtesy of Dazzler.

'Come with me if you want to live.' The mutant disco diva quipped.

'Don't need to tell me twice.' Meggan replied as she hopped out the door. 'Just how are we going to get our of here anyway?'

'That ist where I come in.' Amora replied. 'It wouldst not be difficult for me to teleport us home.'

'Less gossip, more teleporting.' Kid Razor replied.

And with that, the heroes were teleported away.

Back in his control room, Mojo howled in rage at the loss of his greatest ratings winners since the X-Babies.

'How dare those ungrateful wretches teleport away like that!' Mojo bellowed. 'I should tear them limb from limb! Rip out their ribcages and wear them as hats! Use their lungs as bag-pipes!'

Mojo blinked a few times as he got an idea.

'I know, I'll kidnap some real wrestlers. Domo! Bring me Shawn Michaels!'

TBC…

Next: The Madness of Captain Britain

The Uncanny Avengers guest stars as one of their own goes on a rampage. Will the combined might of the two teams be able to defeat somebody that can wield the magical energy of Britain itself? In a word… yes.