Set after Heart of the Journey II.

III. For Dessert

1. Attempting Reverse

Closely followed by Beka, Seamus Zelasny Harper entered the festively decorated Hydroponics, his eyes darting about and already looking for Trance. He couldn't find her, although there weren't many people around so she could have gotten lost in a crowd. Surprised by her absence, he swiftly approached Dylan, the one most likely to know exactly where she was.

The captain of the Andromeda Ascendant was comfortably seated with a plate and a glass under one of Trance's Seefran goldpines, but had been obviously ignoring both his food and drink, his eyes staring intently over to the huge refreshment stall placed right of the main entrance, where his first officer was already busy shoving masses of fancy foods on a far too small a plate.

"Dylan, hey!"

"Hey, Harper! Beka was looking for you..." the tall man informed him unnecessarily.

"Yes, well – she found me... Have you seen Trance?"

"Hm?"

"Trance..." Harper repeated.

"Nope," Dylan answered distractedly, continuing to look over at Beka as if he was seeing her for the first time in his life. Harper couldn't suppress a grin.

"Rhade's wife..." he challenged, "isn't she the most gorgeous babe?"

"U-hu," the older man grunted somewhat vaguely.

"Even more so than Rev..."

"Yup..." Dylan answered still not more focused on his conversation partner, but then seemed to come out of his reverie. "What? Harper, what the hell are you talking about?"

"Ah," the engineer smiled satisfied, "at last! Captain Dylan Hunt finally rejoining our ranks. Nice to meet you here, boss. Now, before I let you follow your primordial instincts and go over to Beka: have you seen Trance?"

"No, not during the past couple of hours," the captain told him, looking slightly flushed and with an awkward smile.

"Well..." Harper began, but then stopped as the doors to Hydroponics opened... Revealing Trance... Old Trance...

For a brief moment she just stood there, a small uncertain smile adorning her lips, her eyes even bigger and darker in the purple face, a long, slim, pointed tail nervously shifting behind her. Only the long, bronze curls and her rich attire reminded of the other Trance, the one they had lived with lately... And her voice, that had remained sweet and soft and a bit insecure, as if she still had not regained all her memories and faculties, although they all knew she had:

"What?" that voice now asked into the stupefied silence.

"T... Trance?" Rhade stammered, who stood closest to her. And then all approached her at once, talking and laughing and trying to touch her, questions and exclamations pouring down on her in an indistinguishable noise. All but Harper, who had remained where he was, staring at her like frozen on the spot.

The young girl smiled and laughed and tried to answer questions, but all the while her eyes kept returning every other second to his face, a scared look in them.

"You see," the young man heard her trying to explain it, "when I had to switch places with my older self, I... I lost a huge part of me, of myself and my natural time and... It's complicated..." she sighed apologetically. "Anyway, with the Abyss and the Worldship now safely gone my folks – the Lambent Kith nebula," she briefly looked to Dylan, who nodded knowingly, "well, they thought that I deserved a... a second chance at living my life... like it was... meant to... I mean..." her voice trailed off and ended in a small sigh. For a moment she fell silent, the others waiting for her to continue. But she just shook her head, looking past them all.

"Harper?" In a small voice the young man finally heard her asking for him. As if she had issued an order, all of her friends stepped aside, leaving a path open among them, that was leading from her directly to him. He hadn't budged, seemed even almost not to breath. "Harper?" she tried anew, this time sounding close to tears.

The Terran seemed to make an effort concentrating, literally had to shake himself out of the stupor still visible on his features, but then he set himself in motion, slowly, with caution, as if fearing that she would vanish anew, should he come too near too fast. She also moved to meet him halfway, and then they were in front of each other, and he could see the fear of rejection clearly showing in her eyes. His hand came up, almost involuntarily, gently rubbing at her cheek, as if he checked whether or not the skin was really purple, if what his eyes saw was truly, really there. And then he simply took her hand, turned around and – dragging her along with him in a hurry – left them all more or less open-mouthed.

"Excuse us," he threw over his shoulder. "Trance and I have to talk!"

-

"Is this a joke?"

The gentleness was gone. He sounded furious.

"Nnoo..." she answered almost cringing.

"What then?"

"Just what my... my folks... decided," she replied.

"For how long?" he inquired.

"For how long what?"

"This... this..." he waved his arms around her, "shape... colour... whatever..."

"For good..." she said. "I hope..." sounding not too certain.

"You hope? Well, that's perfect! Damn', Trance, do you have any idea what you're doing to me here?"

"Excuse me?"

"Do you know what it means to me, all this switching and twisting and being here and there, the coming and going and moving through time and space..."

"But you've been yourself building tesseractors..."

"That's something completely different!" Harper exclaimed outraged.

"No, it isn't," she shouted back at him. "It's what and who you are: someone with completely new and strange and crazy, maddening ideas, that sometimes work and sometimes threaten to destroy us all. They're part of you, you can't suppress them, your thirst for knowledge, your wish to see how far you can go any more than I can control the decisions my folks are making or the way I have to be and what I have to do at times..."

"But... but..."

"But what? Do you think I wanted to change then or now? Do you think I'm thrilled about any of this?"

He looked at her, for once silenced and thoughtful.

"How old are you, Trance?" he then asked her quietly.

"Old enough," she answered.

"For what?"

"To know that I don't want to change and change and lose my friends' trust over this," Trance replied. "But I can't help it. I couldn't help it then – nor has it this time been my decision, either."

Harper looked at her, his blue eyes slowly warming.

"Which means what ultimately?" he then wanted to know. "That every time I turn around in the future, I risk coming across yet another Trance?"

She shrugged helplessly.

"You might," Trance admitted. "But what's so strange about it? Why am I any different? You all change, you move on, regress, progress and then take off into yet another direction in your lives. It's just that my shifts are not so easy to conceal."

"Okay, all right," Harper gave in, sounding a bit defeated, "and what do you want from me now?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that in there they all were thrilled to see you back..."

"They all, but not you..."

"No," he readily admitted, "but their acceptance was just not enough for you. You wanted mine..."

"Naturally!" she exclaimed indignantly.

"Naturally?" Harper shouted back. "Believe me, my lovely, whatever this whole mess might be, natural it isn't!"

Trance sighed, her shoulders slumping forward.

"So it was nothing but talk..."

He frowned, uncomprehending.

"What? What was nothing but talk?"

"That..." she hesitated. "That you always loved me..." she then finished stubbornly.

"No," he disagreed strongly. "No, it wasn't, but..."

"But what?"

Indeed: but what? Harper looked at her, his frowning deepening even more. And yet, while contemplating the enchanting sight in front of him, a smile began to creep slowly into his eyes, spreading from there over his face until it reached his lips, turning into a huge, happy grin.

"What?" Trance smirked at him.

"You remember..."

"Of course I remember..."

The grin deepened further.

"So you care..."

She frowned. Then flashed a murderous look at him.

"Of course I care, you idiot. I always cared. I. Always. Cared," she stressed. "I cared each time you've been hurt or in danger, I cared when you were losing something dear to your heart, I cared when you were lost and far away from me, when you made foolish jokes and couldn't keep your mouth shut. And I even cared each time when you were coming on to yet another one of your stupid, supposedly cool babes..."

"Trance?" he ventured with caution. "Trance, you sound almost jealous..."

"No, not almost, Harper. And I'm not just sounding like that..."

"But..."

"But what, Harper? How am I supposed to feel, amid all your Rommies and Doyles and Bekas and..."

"Okay, okay – I get the picture, but Trance, they never wanted to have anything to do with me..."

"ButI did!" the young girl said. "I did, and yet you only looked at me first with indulgence, then with suspicion, then with awe, then..."

"Trance, had I known..."

"Well, you know now."

Harper scrutinised her.

"Trance, are you sulking?"

He received no answer.

"Trance?" he tried anew. "Trance, look at me! Trance!"

Reluctantly she lifted her gaze.

"Why?"

He sighed deeply.

"Because I want to ask you for your forgiveness, Trance. I'm sorry that I didn't take you seriously. I'm sorry that I seemed not to notice or that I didn't trust you. And no, it wasn't just talk. I love you, I have always loved you – and if you really think that you want me, I mean ME!..."

He didn't get any further. With an enchanted shriek, she threw herself at him, knocking him off his feet. Coming to rest on him, the lovely creature gazed enraptured into his face.

"Seamus Zelasny Harper," she whispered, smiling broadly, "I really, really want you and no-one else..."

"Sheesh!"