Thank you all for your nice reviews. If you missed chapter 5 you may be "a little lost". It was when Amanda finally told what happened to her. Anyway, let me know what you think. :)

Olivia put a blanket over Amanda. She looked at the sleeping woman with compassion. She's gone through hell, and the worst part was, she truly believed she deserved it. She absolutely wanted to help her, but maybe it wasn't the best solution. Maybe Amanda should do a therapy? It would be for her best, but Olivia had the feeling that if she suggested such a thing to Amanda too soon, she wouldn't take it well. She would believe that Olivia wants to get rid of her. Olivia was confused, but one thing was sure, she had to find out who attacked Amanda.

She called Fin. Of course she didn't gave details about what happened to Amanda. This wasn't her story to tell neither was a something she could just drop through a phone. She just told him about the text Amanda received and gave him the number, see if he could trace it. She also explained that Amanda couldn't be left alone, according to the fact they had her number and her address, they had to suppose they maybe knew more about her. But Olivia was torn. Of course she didn't want to leave Amanda, but she also was a Sargent and her squad was short-staffed. For now, she decided until her team wasn't complaining, she'd stay with Amanda, at least until they were sure she was safe.

According to what Amanda said about her assault, her rape kit should contain the attackers' DNA. The next step would be to persuade Amanda to send it to the lab for an analysis. This meant Amanda should agree all this wasn't her fault.

The young woman was still asleep but she was short breath. Her cheeks were red and she was agitated. Olivia, already guessing what the symptoms were, put a hand on her forehead for confirmation. Amanda was burning up. Sickness and temperature could both be caused by anxiety. Amanda's body was yelling that she was broken meanwhile her mind kept fighting she could deal with everything alone. Olivia went through Fin's medicine chest looking for some fever reducer but of course didn't find any. She decided that an aspirin would be better than nothing in the meanwhile somebody could bring her something else.

She headed towards Amanda with the aspirin and slowly stroke her arm.

"Honey, you have to wake up"

Amanda, confused, opened an eye and closed it again, shivering.

"Manda you have to drink this" Olivia put her hand behind Amanda's shoulder and lifted her. "Come on, take it, you'll soon feel better" Amanda didn't really understand what was happening. She did as told and closed her eyes again.

Olivia applied a cold wet towel on Amanda's neck. The sleeping woman grimaced and shook her head a little.

"I know you don't like it, but try to stay still" Olivia advised.

She was worried the woman would soon be dehydrated as she almost didn't drink anything and adding to this she'd been sick since last night. She would be careful to make Amanda drink as much as possible.

Half an hour after the aspirin seemed to help lowing Amanda's temperature. Olivia was relieved but she still had asked Fin to buy some fever reducers and some KT tape for her abdominal strain.

When Amanda woke up again it was half past three. Olivia had eaten alone since Amanda refused any kind of food. She sat and called for Frannie. As soon as she heard her name, the dog came happily and rest her head on Amanda's legs. Olivia couldn't stop from smiling at the scene.

"You two are really close"

Amanda smiled. Every time Frannie was around her mood was brighter.

"Yeah.. I believe animals feel everything… If I'm sad.. so is she… and I don't want her to feel bad… How can I be sad when she's around?"

"I think you're right" Olivia stated. "And that's why…. Amanda, you probably don't wanna hear about it, but I have to… We have to catch the guys who hurt you.."

Amanda tried to avoid answering by keep talking to her dog. Olivia didn't mind, she knew it would be her best shot for Amanda to at least listen at her.

"I mean, you're an svu detective, what would you do if someone told you what you just told me… Would you think the victim had deserved what happened to her, and even so, is vengeance an excuse for hurting people?"

Amanda just shook her shoulders.

Olivia came closer. "Honey, you know it's not… No one deserves this… Frannie doesn't want you to feel bad"

"Liv stop… stop using Frannie to…" Amanda interrupted herself… She was being rude. Olivia didn't deserve this. She'd been there all day taking care of her. "M'sorry.. I didn't mean to.."

"No, no, it's ok, you're right.. I'm using Frannie as an excuse because I don't know how to tell you that I do care for you…. I really do. And I can't stand the fact that you think you deserve all this. You don't. I'd like you to believe me. I just wish I could help" Olivia wasn't the kind of girl who had lot of friends. In her job she was perfect: for listening, she was great. But when she had to speak about her own feelings, she was as awkward as Amanda. She was nervous and Amanda could feel it. Curiously, this is exactly the reason why Amanda believed she was being sincere. She'd never seen her boss being so careful with the words she was using.

"It's nice of you Liv" Amanda didn't know how to answer it. It wasn't only about the attack. Her life has been a mess she was young. But she always managed to have it under control. She couldn't forgive herself for collapsing. She didn't recognise herself anymore.

"I'm not being nice. I mean what I just said. I can't watch you suffering and do nothing."

"What.. what do you expect from me?" Amanda asked, still not sure if she'll be able to accept Olivia's request.

"We have to send your rape kit to the lab."

Amanda stayed silent, looking down.

"Every time you hear the voice inside yourself that tells you that all this is your own fault, I want you to answer it that it wasn't, that you do not deserve all this"

Amanda wasn't sure she could do it.

"At first, it may sounds you useless, but sooner or later, you'll accept it. You'll accept that you're human. When human suffers, they just want to blame themselves until they end up suffering more. It's absurd, but we all do it in a way.. "

Amanda was staring Olivia.

"Until we say stop" Olivia whispered. "Until we decide to accept ourselves. To forgive ourselves.

"And then what?" Amanda asked, looking for something, anything, to hold on to. She wanted to believe it was this easy, but how could she?

"And then, we move on" Olivia gave her a warm smile while holding her hands. Hope. That's what Amanda needed right now. Believe it'll get better until forgiveness becomes a reality.