A/N: Okay of course I want to send some love to my amazing reviewers. You guys are truly what is keeping these updates coming so quickly. I just finished writing this chapter at two a.m. I had to get it out A.S.A.P because I received a couple of reviews that were to sweet, and I'm a pushover. So here you go, enjoy, and I'll catch you at the bottom!

Stephanie Meyers owns twilight, I don't.

Chapter 6

The Accident

Part 2

I stayed in the hospital for the rest of the day. The minutes ticked slowly by. I was released the next morning. Edward drove me home and we rode in silence. As we pulled into the house Edward made his first attempt to speak to me since Hannah had died.

"Bella, love, I'm so sorry. I don't even know what to say." He said. I watched as the tears ran down his face. He went to grab my hand but I jerked it away and stepped out of the car.

I couldn't handle him touching me. He was going to leave. I knew it. I had cost him his daughter. Hannah was gone because of me. I didn't deserve his touch.

I slowly made my way to our bedroom with Edward trailing behind me. I saw the pink dress Alice had bought resting on the coach. It hadn't been moved since the moment she brought it over.

I walked past the nursery room door. I couldn't go in there. I knew what it looked like. A sea of pinks and browns on the walls. Hannah's name cut out in wooden letter hanging from ribbon above her crib. A crib she would never sleep in. A new the white rocking chair was sitting in the corner. The same one my mother had rocked me to sleep in. Hannah would never see that rocking chair, or rock her own children in it.

I still couldn't cry. The numbness seemed to be a permanent fixture in my life now.

I stepped into my bedroom and climbed under the covers without bothering to change out of the sweats Alice had brought me.

Edward climbed in next to me and wrapped his arms around my waist. I knew I didn't deserve this and I should stop him but I needed this now.

"Bella, I know this isn't the time but I want you to know that absolutely nothing happened with Tanya. I would never…I didn't even know she was going to show up there…"

I placed my hand across his lips to stop his rambling. If I hadn't already come to my own realization that he would forever be faithful the look in his eyes now would have convinced me.

"Edward, you don't have to explain. I know you wouldn't. I don't want to talk about this anymore." I could see the conflict in his eyes. I knew he wanted to talk but decided to grant me my wish instead.

I fell asleep thanks to my pain medication. My dreams about what had happened caused me to wake up screaming."

Edward rushed through our bedroom door frantically.

"Are you okay, are you hurt?"

"It wasn't just a dream; it was real, wasn't it!" I demanded.

Edward quickly moved to the bed and scooped me up into his arms. He rocked me back and forth, while I shook violently and tearlessly in his arms. He kept telling me he loved me and he was sorry. Why? Why was he sorry?

"Edward, I killed her, I killed our daughter. I'm so sorry Edward, God I'm so sorry"

He grabbed my chin firmly and turned my head until my eyes were locked with his.

"No, Bella!" He said in a voice that was foreign to me.

"You will not blame yourself, it was an accident, and it wasn't your fault!" If I didn't know him better his tone would have frightened me.

"Edward, I was driving. The wreck was my fault, if I had paid more attention…"

"You were upset, upset because of me and my stupidity. You're not to blame." He said this as though he blamed himself. How could he. He didn't drive the car. He wasn't the one not paying attention."

"Don't you see Edward, if I had just taken the time"

"And if had not went to work, or if I had chased after you all the way to the parking lot, We can't what if this Bella. Hannah's gone." His voice broke on the end as I saw a single tear roll down his cheek.

I was envious of that tear. I wanted to feel this. I wanted to let the pain overtake me because that's what I deserved but I couldn't cry, I couldn't feel. I felt fear when I woke up but not the heartbreak that I knew was hiding somewhere inside.

Once I had calmed down I settled into a state of numbness that even Pink Floyd wouldn't grasp. I found myself drifting out of consciousness until I was snapped back to reality by a doorbell.

Edward must have seen the question in my eyes because he spoke quickly.

"That's Emmett, I asked him to stay with you while I went to pick up Ayden."

Again Edward read my expression instantly and answered my silent question.

"Alice offered to keep Ayden, she thought maybe you'd need time to…rest"

I simply nodded.

God I had to be the worst mother in the world. Not only did I lose my daughter but I had no idea where my son was while I stayed in bed and wallowed in my own pain. How was I going to explain to a child who was barely two that his baby sister wouldn't be coming home like we said?

Edward kissed my cheek and went to get the doorbell.

Emmett came into my bedroom quietly not a minute later.

He climbed into my bed quietly.

"How are you feeling, Bells?"

I just looked at him and shrugged.

"Right, stupid question." He said with regret.

I shrugged again.

Emmett pulled me into a delicate hug. I wasn't sure Emmett had ever hugged anybody gently. He normally squeezed the life out of me every time.

"You know Hannah is with mom now. I bet she is getting smothered in hugs and kisses right now."

I didn't answer, I just stared at the ceiling. I knew his words were meant to help but all they did was remind me of what I would never get to do. I never thought I'd be jealous of the deceased but right now I wished that I was in heaven, or wherever you go, with my daughter. Who envies the dead?

I stayed in Emmett's hug until Edward returned. Emmett had always been my protector before Edward came along and there was a safety there. But it wasn't enough.

Emmett got up to leave when Edward and Ayden came in. I watched Emmett embrace Edward and hang on to him longer than ever before. He ruffled Ayden's unruly hair and left without another word.

"Mommy!" Ayden cheered as he ran towards the bed.

Edward picked him up and placed him on the bed, knowing I couldn't because of the stitches and broken bones.

"Mommy?" Ayden questioned when he saw my face.

I tried to smile, but clearly he didn't buy it. Before I knew what he was doing, his little hands lightly grazed my now smaller stomach and kissed it.

"Love, sister" He said proudly. I didn't want to break down, but at that moment control wasn't an option. My body was instantly wracked with violent sobs against my will.

"I sorry mommy, I sorry" Ayden said quickly in a scared voice."

I wanted to stop crying, I knew I was scaring him. This thought just sent me even more over the edge. I've failed both my children now.

Edward quickly swept Ayden up into his arms and shot me a look I couldn't decipher before he left the room with our now crying son.

I sobbed for the next three hours straight. I cried alone in my room and allowed the emptiness I felt to overcome me. I cried myself into a deep sleep.

I awoke and could feel the sun from the window on my eyelids. It seemed so wrong that the sun which rarely shines in Washington was shining today. It should be grey and raining. I didn't need a happy sky, I wanted rain and dreariness I wanted the sun to understand it had no right to shine today. How dare it be bright out.

I sighed heavily in frustration and opened my eyes. Alice was lying in my bed watching television.

"Where's Edward?"

"He's fixing Ayden lunch." Alice said in a voice that was to calm and sweet to fit her exuberant personality.

We sat in silence for a few minutes while Alice watched the end of Reservoir Dogs. That was Alice, you'd pick her as a romantic comedy type girl, but truly her favorite were violent cult classics.

Once it was over she rolled onto her side and looked at me. I knew she wasn't going speak first.

"She's gone Alice" I said as the water works began again.

"I know sweetie." She said with tears welling up in her big doe eyes. She pulled me close to her and I rested my head on her stomach.

I don't know how long I laid there crying while she stroked my hair, but during that time I realized this pain wouldn't end anytime soon if it ever did.

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I remember the next month in bits and pieces.

Edward and I both took a sabbatical from work. I had to deal with my loss and Edward had to take care of myself and Ayden. He took on a lot of responsibility during the first two weeks. Ayden rarely ventured into our room. I felt like I had failed both of the men I loved. Not only had I taken Hannah away but I had also taken their wife and mother away.

Our friends helped with Ayden when Edward went back to work. Alice laid with me nearly daily. We never spoke about Hannah again after that first time. She would lay with me silently or talk about trivial matters like clothes and shoes to pass the time.

Rose had came by a few times but spent more time with Ayden and Edward than me. I didn't blame her, I wasn't good company. Edward and I slowly quit talking. I assume his feelings towards me weren't anything he wanted to deal with. Edward had been back at work for nearly two weeks, when Rose decided she had had enough of my new relationship with my mattress.

I realize now I owe a lot to her. She forced me to at least try. After we got out of the shower I knew what I had to do. I needed to talk to my husband. I climbed into my new car that I had yet to drive and made my way to the hospital. I could feel the emotions bubbling up as the sense of déjà vu hit me. I fought against it with all I had.

As I began walking to the nurse station to ask about Edward's where abouts, I saw him talking Tanya. I heard every word he said. He was talking about Hannah. He used her name. I wasn't allowed to say her name. The one time I had brought her up, after my break down with Ayden, he had left the room saying he didn't want to talk about it. He then asked Tanya what he was supposed to do. He was asking her for help. Asking for advice regarding our family, my family. I went straight home without saying a word to him. When he arrived home, we had the first fight we'd had in months.

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"Have a nice day at work?" I questioned as soon as his foot hit the carpet.

"You're up." He said in a detached manner.

"Tell me something Edward, Exactly what does a wife say to her husband when he seeks comfort from another woman?"

"What are you talking about?" he said in a bored manner.

"I'm talking about you running your mouth to that blonde whore about our personal, private business Edward!" I yelled, though it came out more as a cry.

"Oh so you're spying on me now?"

"No, I'm not! Although maybe I should because every time I go to the hospital you always seem to be with your fucking groupie."

"THERE IS NOTHING GOING ON WITH ME AND TANYA!" He yelled while slamming his fist on the living room door.

"Why Edward, Why can you talk to her and not me?" I said when I was able to steady my breathing.

"You, talk to you?" "Where the fuck have you been, Bella?"

"I've been here! I haven't left this damn house!"

He laughed without any trace of humor or sincerity.

"Oh really you've been here. Okay Bella, what book does Ayden want read to him at night?"

"Goodnight, moon" I responded with conviction.

"Wrong, For the past three weeks he hasn't wanted any book besides Brown Bear, Brown Bear. You know why? Because he finally mastered all his colors and he likes to point them out before I read them." Edward said in anger.

"Oh and you were right, your dad and Sue are dating. They finally went public with their relationship, almost four weeks ago. Did you know that?"

I stared at him without a response.

"Exactly Bella, you expect me to talk to you, you're not even here. I don't know where my wife is but if you see her could you let her know that I'm looking for her?!"

"Fuck you, Edward!" I said as I grabbed the nearest object and chunked it at the wall.

"You didn't do it, Edward! You don't know the guilt and then, you have to make me feel worse, fuck you!"

I saw his eyes and the regret he suffered from his words.

"Bella I know how bad you're hurting. You lost your daughter, of course its going-"

"OUR DAUGHTER, EDWARD OUR DAUGHTER!" I yelled as I stormed off to find Rose and Ayden. I knew I shouldn't be yelling but I just felt like he had been disconnecting himself from what had happened and him referring to her as my daughter set me off.

"Bella." Rose said cautiously as I picked up Ayden.

"Please don't Rose, Thank you for watching Ayden, I'll call you tomorrow."

Rose nodded and left quietly.

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That was the last fight me and Edward had about Hannah or anything else, until the other night. We never solved anything or brought it up again. We did try therapy the one time, but we got more out during that one fight then we did paying two hundred dollars an hour to a stranger.
Things did change after that first fight however. I realized Ayden didn't deserve what he had been forced to deal with. I vowed from that day forward to push aside everything else to be the best mother to him I could be. I didn't spend another day in bed, although I can't say that I had ever gotten back to normal.

Ayden welcomed me back into his heart as though nothing had ever happened. I can't say the same for Edward. That is how we got here.

We both failed each other after we lost our daughter. Maybe if we had handled it differently, worked as the team we had always been, then maybe we wouldn't be hanging on by a thread.

As I look at the man lying next to me. The man who is set to leave our home by the weekend, I can't help but wonder what we do now?

A/N: Okay guys, I hoped you enjoyed the chapter. (well as much as one can enjoy a chapter such as this). The next chapter will bring us moving forward again. Oh I plan to post an EPOV in regards to what happened with Tanya. you got the just of it in this chapter, but i got the impression alot of you want details about the evil shrew. I won't post it as a chapter. But as a new story, that i'll use for extras. I'll let you know when i have that up.

Alright I did my part, now it's your turn. Hit that green button and let me know what you're thinking.