St Edward and The Dragon

Disclaimer: I do not own, nor ever will, Fullmetal Alchemist or the characters within.

Chapter 5:

Incursion: n. the act of entering some territory or domain

What fierce imaginings their dark souls lit?
Earth! Have they gone into you?
Somewhere they must have gone,
And flung on your hard back
Is their soul's sack
Emptied of God-ancestralled essences.
Who hurled them out? Who hurled?

Isaac Rosenberg 1922

..00..

The rumours were slow to reach Northern Command. A senile old man died under a falling tree and a drunken logger began talking of a monster in the woods. A few more trees fell and a logger disappeared. People began to stay indoors after the sun went down. People began to avoid the forest to the north as a sense of unease pervaded the area. People said they could feel eyes watching them and if you were very quiet, you could the sound of something breathing.

When the single manned outpost didn't report in at the usual time and they had waited a further two weeks, Northern Command sent some one out to investigate. The hut was empty and no-one had been there for at least three weeks judging by the state of decay of the food left untouched on the table. There was no trace of the soldier stationed there and the people couldn't recall the last time they'd seen him. The investigators heard the stories and shrugged them off, they knew how easily spooked the mountain people could be.

But there was an enemy to the north and if you removed the monster from the stories, it was very possible that they had begun to infiltrate Amestrian borders.

A report was sent to Central.

General Roy Mustang leafed through the report, but his mind was still thinking of Edward and his array. Every time he turned around there were new questions and it was starting to annoy him that he couldn't just ask outright for answers. It was all well and good to tell Al to be patient when he found himself running out of patience.

Yesterday Edward had been almost chatty for all of two minutes before the curtain had fallen again.

"Is this your array?" Roy had asked carefully as he indicated the circle.

Edward had nodded. "Yes, it's more efficient." He had stretched and walked over to the fire. "As long as there is ash there. Otherwise you have to burn more wood to get the ash back."

"Where is the second array, Ed?"

"It's there, under the ash," and he had knelt down and leant forward to sweep the ash aside with his left hand before anyone could stop him. His hand had passed through the flames and a vision of hazel eyes and bloody circles filled his mind. He pulled his hand back and it came out of the fire, slightly reddened and he stared at it.

Roy had stifled an exclamation and reached to grab Ed's hand to examine it when Edward had turned. His eyes had lost their focus and he stared at Roy.

"I should know her, shouldn't I?" He asked suddenly, his voice filled with curiousity and his eyes reflecting the fire. "Why am I screaming?"

"Who are you?" Roy had asked without thinking.

"Edward …Pferd." There had been a noticeable hesitation between the names and Edward had frowned. His left hand had reached out, the fingers moving as if seeking something.

"The chain…it has my name." And Edward had fallen forward, his eyes closing as Roy caught him. Al and Roy had exchanged a startled look before Roy had sent him to get the first aid kit from the bathroom and had carried Edward to the sofa and managed to get him settled on it.

Edward had slept most of the morning and had awoken to ask about lunch and to question why they weren't going to the library today. When he had been told it was a day off, he had shrugged and gone to Mustang's study and begun to go through the books there. He didn't ask about the light bandage on his hand and when questioned about the array he had replied "I don't know."

Mustang leant back in his chair. Edward's hand was barely burned, Mustang had expected blisters to appear but all he had was reddened skin. Edward had shown no awareness of the fire as he had stuck his hand into it. It was as if he hadn't realised it could burn him. He had rung the doctor up but the doctor had not been able to offer any help except to advise them to be more vigilant with him. If his condition was affecting his awareness of basic self-preservation then it was possible he could fail to see other potential hazards. Mustang had passed that on to his office.

And last night Al had come rushing down the stairs after he had gone up to bed to say that Ed had ignored his own bed and gone straight to the General's. Roy had sighed and followed Al up to his room and they had both seen the golden head nearly covered in blankets sleeping peacefully.

"You take my bed, Al. I'll sleep in yours." Mustang had said as he saw the tension in Al. He knew Al wanted to do more to help and was feeling left out with Edward's distance to everyone and his seeming attachment to Mustang rather than his brother.

It had seemed the perfect solution until Roy had woken to the sound of a loud accented voice. He had hurried into his room and found Edward sitting up with unfocused eyes and shouting at his brother. Who was completely stunned and totally clueless as to what to do.

"You told her about me, didn't you Alfons? How else could she know those things?" Edward's voice was filled with hurt and disappointment. "She says I can save them. She says Dad knows the way as well." Unfocused eyes glared at grey ones. "I thought I could trust you. You were my friend, Alfons!" His voice rose and the accusation in it was clear.

Roy hurried over and placed his hand lightly on Ed's shoulder. Ed turned around and the smile that appeared on his face was so unexpected, Roy blinked.

"What are you doing here?" Edward asked calmly, all traces of his upset gone.

"I heard voices." Roy said casually.

"You should tell Alfons to bring her with us next time. I'm sure she gets lonely staying home all day."

"I'll tell him, Ed."

"See Alfons, even he knows I'm right." Edward turned to his brother with the wide smile and unfocused eyes. Roy watched Al swallow. Edward's face resembled that of a twisted clown and Roy had to hide his own shiver. It was the blankness that stood like a second shadow behind him that gave his features an unsettling presence, and Edward was unaware of it all. He smiled again at both of them and settled back down under the blankets and went to sleep.

"I can't... I can't." Al had said. "I can't stand to see him like this. I can't help him at all. He doesn't see me, he sees this 'Alfons' and it's not me." He had looked up at Mustang. "You stay with him, I can't… I just can't."

Mustang had nodded and watched sadly as Al had left to return to the other room. He had slipped into his bed and thought about Edward again. He had changed from one memory to the next in a split second and he had settled himself down after it rather than faint. Just what the hell was going on inside that blond head?

Poor Al, he had placed such faith in his brother all through his life and to have it ignored now was hurting him. He had put so much stock in Edward's return and it was turning to dust in his hands. He was only fourteen, he didn't have the skills or knowledge to deal with this. Mustang snorted softly. Neither did he. He wasn't sure if he was doing the right thing half the time.

He and Al had talked briefly about Ed's outburst and the reference to his father especially had baffled them. The last time Mustang had seen Hohenheim had been at Resembool that one time. Al had no memories of his father and only the memories of Edward hating him as they grew up. Roy had told Al as much as he knew and had described that time in Resembool but he couldn't tell him everything because he just didn't know it all. None of them had known why he had left so suddenly or where he had gone. It didn't seem possible that Ed had met the same man wherever he had been, so who did he mean when he spoke of 'Dad'? Besides, neither Roy nor Al could see Ed ever calling Hohenheim 'Dad'.

Mustang sighed. He made a notation on the report, saying he didn't think the use of State Alchemists would be of help at this stage unless there was actual proof of any foreign incursion and then tossed it on the small pile of completed work. He looked at the much larger pile of things still to do and sighed again.

Al tried hard to concentrate on his studies as he sat in the library. Edward was still going through the shelves in that methodical manner he had. Pick the book up, scan it and then replace it. Get the next one. Repeat.

Al leant his chin on his palm and watched his brother. Brother. He wondered if Edward saw them as brothers still. Most of the time he used 'Alphonse' and not the familiar 'Al' he remembered from their childhood. And he called him 'Alfons' with that strange accent when he wasn't seeing him at all but someone else.

Last night Edward had looked at him with those unfocused eyes and accused him. It feels like he accuses me all the time, Al thought. He doesn't even talk to me. It's like I always have to speak first and wait for him to react. Like a puppet, but not completely. There's something he's looking for, I can see that, but he won't tell me. He just shuts me out. He's still my brother, but am I his?

It was a thought that was beginning to eat away at him. It didn't help that Edward seemed to be turning to the General, Al frowned. Although the General was just as puzzled as he was. Al sighed, it would be easier if he could find someone to blame. But there wasn't anyone at fault. Except maybe Edward or whatever was inside of him. Because Al was fairly certain that there was something else inside his brother and it was the reason Edward was acting so strange.

The General hadn't said anything yet and neither had Al, but he remembered those black marks he had seen in Ed's eyes. It had startled him and he hadn't seen them since, but he couldn't forget that they had been there. It had unnerved him and he took it as yet another sign that there was something seriously wrong with his brother.

The array had been brilliant. They had waited until later and had cleared the ash away to reveal the second array and they had stared at it. They didn't even know how he had drawn it. It had been under the ash. How had Ed drawn it without moving the ash? He had to have been able to do alchemy to project the second array, but Edward still seemed unable to use it. Al had tried to get him to do some last night but nothing had happened and Al had been left feeling disappointed and confused.

But Ed's knowledge was awesome, Al thought. To have designed that array without studying Flame Alchemy in any detail and then to have drawn that array was nothing short of genius. Even the General had been stunned by it. It irritated Al that Edward was able to demonstrate such knowledge and yet was unable to recognize his own brother half the time.

He wanted to sit Edward down and question him. To ask him about all the things that confused him. To demand the answers he knew were in there somewhere. The General kept saying to be patient, but Al was running out of patience.

"Do you see it yet, Edward?"

The faint whisper tickled at Edward's ear and he stiffened slightly. He lifted his head slowly and looked around carefully. Alphonse was taking notes and not staring at him as he had been doing most of the morning. The librarians were all occupied elsewhere. No-one had said anything but he knew they watched him, waiting for him to slip into the places they couldn't follow. The places that scared them and he could never remember. The General was taking no chances and someone was always near him.

Edward found their concern vaguely irksome but very useful. He had used it to get himself better access to restricted materials and to bring books home. He failed to see why they needed to watch over him. If they would leave him alone and just let him complete his search there would be no need for them. To him, it was their presence that triggered the episodes and if they weren't there, there would be no reason for him to be sent into the places inside.

"You need them, Edward."

Edward frowned. The words were echoing strangely and his silver circle had not appeared. He had come to rely on that circle. It was the one thing he could trust. It always appeared when he needed it. It was the centre of his balance, of his mind. But it wasn't here now. Why wasn't it here? I need you, he called silently.

"You think a circle will help? Haven't you learned anything yet?"

Edward spun around, the book falling from his hands. He stretched his left hand out and grabbed at the empty air and his fingers tingled. He opened his hand and flames seared across his palm, burning through the glove and the light bandage still wrapped around his hand. His eyes narrowed and the black rose to encircle his golden irises. He stared at his hand and the flames moved into a slow circle.

"It doesn't exist." He said hollowly.

"It never did."

The flames died and his hand was left with a warm sensation. The ring on his finger felt heavy and he stared at it.

"Why are promises made when they are not kept?"

"To lie is to be human."

"I am not human." Edward blinked and a flicker of flame slipped from his finger.

"You are dead."

Edward laughed and his voice broke as he slipped to his knees. He blinked and the circle appeared in front of him. He stared at it and it settled back into the corner of his mind. I missed you he said to it and it shimmered slightly. The black disappeared from his eyes and his lips twisted into a smile.

"I am dead." And he slipped further, unaware of the arms around him and the voices calling and talking in hurried whispers. He barely saw the concerned grey eyes as his eyes closed and he felt his little void catch him.

Al sat on the floor with his brother in his arms while the librarians called Headquarters. He had looked up at the sound of the book falling and had watched with dread fascination as Edward had made flames appear in his hand and he had seen those black marks appear in his eyes again. Edward's words worried him, especially that last remark.

Al looked over at the discarded book. Had there been something in there that had triggered this response? Al had never seen Ed react to any of the books he scanned. He had seen him pause occasionally but never anything like this. Was it the book or something else? What was in his brother? What was inside his head?

Edward lay quiet in his arms and he watched the closed eyelids flickering. He sighed. No matter what, this was still his brother and he couldn't ignore that. Maybe this man in his arms wasn't what he had hoped for when he had wanted his brother back, but this Edward was the only true family he had left and he never wanted to lose that. He leant forward and rested his cheek against the top of his brother's head. I just wish… I will always wish, but I'm glad you're back, Brother.

Roy Mustang looked at them as they sat there. He had hurried over to the library as soon as they had called the office. He could smell the faint acrid scent of Flame alchemy and he saw the burnt scraps of glove and bandages on the floor. Al was looking a little pale but more calmer than he had seen him look over the last few days. And Edward was sleeping like the dead as he always did after these episodes.

"Al?" Roy asked softly, not wanting to startle the boy. Al lifted his head and looked up at him as Roy stepped closer and sat on the nearest chair. "Are you alright?"

"Yes." Al nodded and looked down at his brother.

"Tell me, Al."

Al spoke slowly, trying hard to be clear about what he had seen and heard. Roy looked surprised as Al described the flame that had appeared but he didn't doubt the boy. The words Edward had spoken worried him but he kept that from Al, he could see that he was already worried enough.

He slipped from his chair and knelt beside them. He reached and lifted Edward's left hand. They both looked at it. It was still faintly red but there were no marks or burns on the palm. Roy pulled off the burnt remnants of the glove and then placed it to rest on Ed's chest.

"I honestly don't know, Al. Whatever it was that Edward did, it's just unheard of." Roy was puzzled. "We know he doesn't use circles, but no-one has ever produced flame without a spark first."

"I think the black marks in his eyes have something to do with it." Al said hesitantly. They both looked down at the now closed eyes.

"It's possible, Al. We'll just have to keep watching over him." Roy almost smiled at the sigh Al gave, but said nothing. "Do you want to take him home or stay here until he wakes up?"

"When he wakes up, he's just going to go straight back to the shelves again." Al remarked and Roy nodded. "I think we'll go home. He has books there." By the time Edward woke up from his faint, it would be time to leave anyway.

"Alright Al. Havoc's outside with the car."

Edward was too heavy for Al, so Roy carried Edward to the car and took them home. Al went ahead and opened the doors and they decided to put Edward in the lounge. Al laid his fingers on Edward's array and the fire began to burn. Edward was right, he thought. It was much more efficient this way.

Roy left to return to the office and Al made himself comfortable with his notes while Edward slept for the rest of the afternoon.

The severest storm in twenty years moved through the Northern districts and villages were cut off from the main routes. Trees fell and landslides closed roads. Hard to find and difficult to navigate goat trails became the only way in and out of the Northern Reaches Districts. The blizzard that followed closed them and the area was effectively isolated from the rest of the country.

Several older people succumbed to the cold and their bodies were kept in an old shed until the ground cleared and thawed enough for the men to be able to bury them. Wolves could be heard through the bitter nights, moving closer to the village. And when a child went missing, the men gathered together and went out to hunt them down.

Edward woke up and stretched and looked around. Alphonse was reading and frowning over something in his notes. There was the smell of cooking in the air and he could hear plates chink from the kitchen. Mustang must be here too.

He turned his head to stare at the fire. He had gone back to his void again. He could feel the lingering tug of the white space behind his thoughts. The glimmer of his circle distracted him and he watched it for a moment. He wondered where it went to when he couldn't see it and felt his mind shift to recall some of the alchemy texts he had read this morning.

He was halfway through contemplating a paragraph he had memorized when the fire popped and his eyes flickered. Overlaying the remembered page was his circle and it twisted around itself, lifting the words into a spiraling reflection. Two circles, one of silver, one of words. He followed each fluid twist with his eyes. They seemed to be dancing as they spun around each other, moulding to reflect and replicate the other with a silent grace.

Edward felt his eyes getting heavy as he watched and he frowned slightly. He was sinking and there was nothing beneath him. He tried to blink but it was very hard to open his eyes again. The circles swirled and he could just see the fire behind them. He lifted his hand, reaching towards it, trying to pull it to him through the circles. He could feel his eyes go out of focus and he frowned as he felt himself slipping into a shadow. His fingers twitched and he felt them tingle just before his eyes closed and he fell into the darkness.

"There are words that mean little, Edward. One must always find the meanings behind the words." The man's voice echoed around the small room and Edward nodded.

"The truth behind the truths." He said.

"That's a good way to phrase it, my son. But see, when you have a truth, how will you know it to be the truth?" The golden hair, so like his own but faded through time, caught in the dying firelight.

Edward frowned. "There is no one truth."

"And behind those words?"

"There is more than one truth?" Edward stated, but he questioned it slightly.

"You will always seek one answer, Edward. It is the nature of the Alchemist."

"Why do I never find that answer?"

Al watched closely as Edward twitched in his sleep. He had looked up from his notes and seen Edward reach his arm out. The eyes had been empty and he had seen them close as Edward had fallen half off the sofa. He had called out to Roy, who had come running and they had placed him back on the sofa.

They were a bit surprised at the suddenness of this episode. Al hadn't even known he'd woken up so they had no way of knowing if he had been awake for a while or just gone straight into this turn. But they had never seen two attacks this close together and Edward had said and done nothing to warn them an attack was imminent.

The list of questions kept getting longer and longer. It was becoming harder to sit back patiently and watch over him. Both wanted answers and it was only the fear of that original empty state that kept them from demanding the answers from Edward.

Barely an hour passed before Edward woke up. He stretched and yawned.

"When's dinner ready?" He asked as he looked across and saw Alphonse watching him. The intensity of those grey eyes let him know that he had had another episode and one that had obviously worried them. Alphonse didn't normally stare that hard. Edward mentally shrugged and his circle twinkled back at him. He did not understand why they worried about him like that. It didn't make anything better or bring him any closer to the answers he was seeking.

"Soon, Ed. Roy's getting it ready now." Al said.

Edward nodded in reply and picked up the book closest to him and began to read. This time the words stayed on the page and he had to be shaken out of his reading when Roy came in with dinner.

Edward went to sleep in Roy's bed again that night. Al merely sighed and shook his head when Roy asked if he wanted to try sleeping with his brother again.

"No." Al looked at Roy. "Whatever is in Ed at the moment, it doesn't want me there. He doesn't see me. That is my brother, but he doesn't see it the same way I do."

"Al…" Roy began.

"It's ok, Roy. I've been thinking about it for a few days and I knew it today when he collapsed at the library. And it's alright, I'm ok with it. I have the exam to prepare for. There are things that only I can do, and that's the first one. After that, I will find others." Al paused. "I'm not going to try and fix things that just can't be fixed yet. I know that one day, Ed will be back, properly, the way he should be, the way I want him to be but I can't make it happen just because I want it to happen."

"Al, if the Edward we both wish for was here, he would be as proud of you as I am." Roy looked at the young teen and smiled. "I think you will be of more help than you think. If there was one thing that kept Edward sane during those years, it was you. No matter how changed he may be, I believe somewhere in there he knows exactly who you are."

As if testing them further, Edward had no episodes for a whole week. He was calm and obedient. He read and scanned the books. He did as he was told, he accepted everything without trying to gain any special advantages. It was unnatural and it worried Roy and Al. The air of complacency that seemed to surround him made them edgy. As if Edward knew something they didn't and he was simply humouring them.

He slept every night in Roy's bed and Roy got used to waking up with a face full of blond hair and the occasional weight of an automail arm lying across his chest. Edward slept heavily and Roy sometimes found himself lying awake and watching the sleeping face. It was hard to believe the serene face in the night became the emotionless shell during the day.

If Edward dreamt, he kept them to himself and it was Roy who woke up shaking one night as the ghosts of Ishbal made their annual call.

He lay there and trembled. Every year on this one night he could not keep them at bay. They would walk through his dreams, dressed in his flames and pointing at him as their eyes bled. Even when he managed to shake them off and wake up, he would still see them. An unending parade of those he had killed, of those he had failed. He shivered as the sweat dried across his forehead and he sat up, his knees rising. He leant his elbows on his knees and placed his head in his shaking hands.

There would be no more sleep for him tonight. The fire and a half bottle were what he needed now. They would get him to the morning and through the next day and tomorrow night it would take him awhile to get over his fear of sleep but he would finally fall into a dreamless one.

He jumped when two arms wrapped themselves around him and he felt himself pulled back down onto the bed. Flesh and automail held him lightly but securely and he found his head placed on Edward's shoulder. The light accented voice echoed beside his ear.

"Didn't I tell you that I could help you too? Why do you insist on bearing it all by yourself?"

There was gentle concern in the words and Roy turned his head slightly to look at Edward. The eyes were unfocused and the expression on his face was one of tenderness. He had never seen Edward look like that, ever. Not even when he had been looking at his brother.

"Edward?" Roy asked hesitantly, not sure what memory Edward was reliving now.

"You worry too much, liebling." And Ed leant forward and brushed his lips across Roy's ear before settling him back on his shoulder. "Sleep. I'll watch this time."

Roy shivered at the light caress and wondered at the protectiveness he heard in Edward's voice. That answered some of his questions as to why Ed had been comfortable sharing a bed with him and what their relationship had been. It was rather a shock to consider Edward old enough to have been in such a relationship. Was this why he had a wedding ring and yet had said that it had not been allowed? Single sex relationships were not something the Military frowned on, but it wasn't something they wanted advertised either.

He felt rather relaxed as he settled into Edward's shoulder. If he turned his head slightly he could see the calm relaxed face and hear the slow beating of Edward's heart in his ear. Roy found his eyelid growing heavy and he fought the sleep he had not expected to see again tonight. Edward's breath was warm against his face and he heard amusement and tenderness in his voice.

"You always have to fight it, don't you." Edward pressed a soft kiss against Roy's lips. "Sleep or you get the couch tomorrow." The words were more caress than command and Roy could feel Edward smile as he settled back into the pillow. There was an ease of long standing intimacy in his accented words and actions. Roy was almost jealous that Edward had known this and as his eye closed, he wondered. He wondered just how similar he looked to whomever Edward was seeing when he looked at him.

When Roy woke up the next morning, his head was still on Edward's shoulder and he had turned in the night to lay his arm across Edward. The nightmares had not returned and he felt rested despite his earlier broken sleep.

He looked at the sleeping man. Edward had the serene peaceful expression on his face that Roy enjoyed seeing the most. Roy smiled as he eased himself away from Edward. He watched as Edward frowned and shifted slightly, his hand reaching out before he settled back down into sleep. His hair had loosened from the tail and golden strands were caught across his face so Roy reached over and gently pulled the hair away. His eye caught the glitter of gold and he looked down to see the chain Edward always wore had slipped from under his t-shirt.

Roy looked at it. He hadn't seen it since Edward had placed it around his neck at the hospital. The thin golden band seemed to match the one Ed had on his finger but the heavy signet ring seemed out of place. Roy lifted it carefully, not wanting to disturb Edward. He turned it to the light and saw the raised design. He froze and stared at it for a long moment before looking at Edward. He knew this image. He could draw it with his eye closed. He had drawn it with his eyes closed in the past.

It was the same symbol as the one on the back of his gloves. It was his transmutation circle.

Roy sat in his office later that morning staring at his gloves. He realised that there was one small difference between the signet ring and his circle. The salamander was missing but other than that, it was the exact same symbol. Who's ring was it, he wondered. Given the automatic way Edward had placed the gold ring on his own finger, the fact that he had not done the same with that ring seemed to indicate that it didn't belong to him. Keeping it on a chain around his neck though indicated an attachment to it or to whoever it belonged to.

It was easy to infer that whoever had worn the ring was the one Edward had thought him to be when he had held him last night. But then who did the other gold ring belong to? And the small bracelet he had never seen since either. That had been small, more suited for a woman's wrist. Or a small child's. Roy knew how Edward felt about the innocent and about children especially. Edward would always try to protect them and he would go to great lengths to ensure their safety.

Had he lost not only his love, but also been unable to help others more innocent than he had ever considered himself to have been? Roy knew Edward would have been devastated, but would it have sent him into this mentally dislocated state, or was there still more that he was missing?

Roy had not told Al all the details of last night. He wasn't sure how he would react if he knew that his brother had been involved with another man. Roy was no stranger to the way relationships formed within the military. When you lived through hell, sometimes the only ones who could help were those who went through it with you. During Ishbal, it had been common for men to find comfort with each other. A single night of striving for something other than death. To touch someone and to be touched in return. To know that you were not alone. Roy had had his share of those nights and the fleeting relief had been sweet at the time, but afterwards, like many others he had found it impossible to continue. To hold them in your arms was to feel that you were still dancing with the dead. Roy had found other ways to dull the memories. Women, because he still craved physical touch and alcohol, because it helped him forget. And he had had a goal to work towards.

But Edward had obviously found happiness in a single sex relationship and his partner had had bad nights too. Actually, as Roy thought back, it sounded as if they both had bad nights. 'I'll watch this time' had been Edward's words. And the relaxed open ease with which Edward had held and caressed him suggested something much deeper than a relationship built on comfort fucks. Roy was not sure how he was going to react if Edward continued to see him as his partner and decided to do anything other than the light caresses. Ishbal had been a long time ago and his relationships had all been with women since then. And much as he cared for Edward, he hadn't considered caring for him in a physical sexual way.

He had loved the boy and found respect for him as he grew up, he had always looked after him, watched over him but he had never wanted him physically. But Edward wasn't a boy any more Roy, he told himself. He's taller, older and lost. And he sees me as someone he loves, or loved if the other me is the one he saw die. What if he asks and I can't say yes? What if he asks and I can't say no? Would rejection hurt him more than acceptance is going to hurt me?

Roy groaned. And he thought he had finally found some answers. All he had now, were even more questions. And he still had Al to consider. How much could he or should he even tell him?

He had told him about the insignia on the ring and Al had been as mystified as he was as to how Ed had come across that symbol wherever he had been. They had spent an hour talking about it as Edward had seemed to be rather lethargic this morning. He had risen later than normal and had spent an extra fifteen minutes in the bathroom and he was moving slower than usual, almost as if he was relaxed, but still with the same light blank expression on his face.

Something was definitely moving in Edward. Al was right, he thought. There had to be something else in there. The strange, almost magical alchemy, the black that had appeared twice that they knew of in his eyes, the way he could swing from memory to memory and then not recall what he had said ten minutes earlier. The 'I don't know' reply that he gave was probably true. Edward didn't know, but there was something in there that did. And it had its own agenda. It was using Ed, it had to be.

And Roy Mustang was going to find it.

The men of the Northern Reaches hunted tirelessly for a week and brought home the carcass of every wolf they could find. They shared the furs between them and the wolves disappeared. There was no more howling in the night, no more tracks to follow.

There was something different about Edward today. Al could feel it. The relaxed way in which he moved, the almost languid way he pulled books from the shelves and flicked through the pages. Had something else happened during the night? Roy might not have seen it, like he had not seen the one from the other day. But there was something from last night Roy had not mentioned and Al was curious as to why the man had not told him everything.

Al didn't know what Roy had left out but after two years of people side-stepping his questions he had developed a sense for when information was missing. He wasn't going to press Roy yet, because he had seen the puzzled expression on his face, and Roy had been honest with him on most other occasions. He knew Roy would tell him sooner or later.

He watched Edward skim through another book and sighed. Did Edward plan to go through every book in this library in the same way? Even scanning them as he was doing was going to take him months. Al shook his head. If there was one thing this new brother of his had that the old one had lacked it was patience. And Al found he hated that change more than anything.

"I'm going to get the coffee, Brother." Al said as he stood up, unable to watch anymore.

"Okay Alphonse." Edward replied in his calm voice, his eyes never lifting from the page.

Every morning when the librarians made their morning tea, they made some for Ed and Al. Al liked to go and collect it and would often bring them in biscuits or small cakes as a way to thank them. It gave him ten minutes of not feeling like his brother's keeper.

Today they were talking about the opening of a new extension to the library. Apparently the old First Branch had burnt down years ago and they had finally finished building the new one. Files and papers that would have been housed there, had it still been standing, had been building up in the stacks of the main branch and it was getting hard to find any more space for them. With a new extension opening, they would finally be able to move them over to their proper and rightful places.

Al enjoyed their chatter and offered to help if they needed it, but they smiled and said they'd manage. But they would keep him in mind if they needed him.

When Al got back to the shelves, Edward had disappeared.

Al took a deep breath and told himself not to panic. Edward had probably gone to the bathroom. Al ran to the bathroom. There was no-one there. There was a viewing platform on the upper level. Al sprinted up the stairs and looked out over the whole ground floor. No black coated, blond haired brother. He ran as fast as he could back to the librarians and they spread out, searching everywhere.

They met in the middle of the ground floor and all shook their heads. Edward was nowhere to be found. One librarian came running back.

"The guard says Edward passed him."

Al went pale. Edward hadn't been on his own since his return and now he was out there wandering around? He dashed to the phone and rang Roy.

The General organized a search party before he went to the library. All the way there he kept looking for the bright golden blond head.

Al getting frantic was the first thing that Roy noticed and he placed his hands on the boy's shoulders to calm him down. He half-heard Havoc talking to the staff and concentrated completely on Al.

"He'll be fine, Al. Your brother has more lives than a cat and he always lands on his feet." Roy said, keeping his voice light, despite the worry gnawing away at his own stomach.

"Normally perhaps, but now…" Al was unable to continue and he tried to take deep breaths to stop himself from breaking down in front of the older man. "He's not the same anymore, Roy." He whispered.

"I know Al." Roy said soothingly. "But I have everyone I can out there looking for him. And we need you to help." He looked at the boy and saw the grey eyes darken.

"How can I help? I remember even less than he does of this place." Al shook as he was faced with his missing years again. Roy cursed silently, he hadn't meant to upset Al.

"Al, you and Ed never spent a great deal of time in Central during those years so I don't expect you to remember places. What I want is for you to remember before that. Where would Ed be drawn to if he had to be on his own? I don't know if he's gone looking for something specific or just wandering, but we have to start somewhere." Roy spoke evenly and watched as Al straightened and the shadows cleared from his eyes. His face still remained pale, but Roy knew the colour would soon return.

"I always went to the river, but Ed liked to climb trees sometimes." Al said thoughtfully as Roy guided him out of the library. Havoc followed them.

"We'll try both, Al. Don't worry, we'll find him." Roy said and settled him into the back seat as Havoc started the car. "The river first, Jean."

Havoc nodded and pulled smoothly away from the kerb.

Edward Elric walked through Central like a shadow, avoiding all contact as he strode purposefully forward. The black coat swirled behind him as he sidestepped both people and cars, and paced evenly down streets and pavements alike. His eyes were almost blank and he rarely looked around him. His thumb was pressed against his ring and the silver circle shifted constantly in his mind.

It was a relief to be away from the watchers. He had taken the chance when Al had gone for the coffee and walked straight out the door. He had to go somewhere. He wasn't sure where or what it was but he knew he would find it, as long as he kept his mind empty. It was the thoughts that disturbed him, that disrupted the sanity within his void.

He stopped suddenly and turned into an alley. He looked up and half expected it to be raining but it wasn't and he frowned lightly as he walked to the end wall. There was a large weathered stain on the bricks and he placed his left hand against it. It looked as if someone had splattered red paint against the wall a long time ago. So long ago the colour had all but disappeared and only a hint of the original colour could be seen. His eyes went hollow for a moment before he blinked back into his usual blankness.

"Arrogance or pain. Which will you leave behind?" He said in a quiet voice before turning away from the wall and leaving the alley.

He slipped back into the city and walked with the ease of long familiarity through streets he had never seen before, past places he had never been before. He didn't think of Al or Mustang, he kept his mind empty and let whatever was in him guide his steps.

It took him little more than an hour before he found himself standing in front of a derelict building. The roof had caved in at some point and the doors hung crookedly on their hinges. An old iron cross had fallen from the roof and leant drunkenly against a wall. Edward stared at the shattered windows and the coloured glass that lay scattered on the ground. There was a bloodstain beside the broken doors and he stared at it briefly.

He hesitated, his eyes flickering from hollow to blank, before he stepped forward and disappeared into the building.

Four days after the wolves disappeared, another child went missing.

Three more children disappeared before Northern Command sent another report to Central Headquarters.

Isaac Rosenberg (1890 – 1918): "Dead Man's Dump."

Author's Note: Thank you so much for all the comments and reviews. I really do appreciate each and every one of them. Writing is so much more enjoyable for me, knowing that you are out there waiting.

silken :)