"Caroline, I am truly sorry for what I have done. Could we, can we talk about this?" John pleads timidly as he stands across the kitchen from Caroline, a safe distance, out of firing range.
It's Saturday afternoon, 4 days since the bomb was dropped, and they haven't seen each other, or even spoken since. He had text Friday night asking to come over and Caroline agreed for Saturday afternoon so she could arrange for Celia to take the boys somewhere, wishing to avoid a replay of the row before.
Caroline stands griping the edge of the island, eyes down as she can't bring herself to look at him.
"No John, we can't. Not right now. If, if we are going to move on from this it will be on my time and my terms. You fucked up, so the ball is now in my court." Caroline replies firmly, but still avoiding his pleading gaze.
"Caroline. We can't go on like this, we have to talk. We can't avoid each other in the same house forever." John implores, eagerly watching her face for a slight reprieve.
"You're right. So, you can collect your things and go. I don't want you here right now; I can't even bear to look at you." She runs her hands across the counter, picking up imaginary crumbs, anything to avoid looking at his infuriating face.
"What? Caroline, you can't throw me out! Where am I supposed to go?" John cries in a panic.
"Where have you been the last few days? With, what's her name…Judith? I'm sure she'd be delighted to have you." Caroline retorts as she finally looks his direction, making eye contact with his chest, still too timid to look into his eyes.
"I can't stay with her, she's a drunk! And besides, this is my bloody house too!" His petulant tone strikes a nerve in her, and finally, angry blue eyes dart up to meet his stare.
"Well, I guess you should have thought of that before you stuck it in," she fumes through gritted teeth, blazing eyes sending the message home.
John is momentarily taken aback by her inflammatory words, but anger quickly sets in. His face grows red, his lips drawn into a thin line as he begins to vibrate with fury.
"God, you are such a pretentious fucking bitch!" He bellows, shaking his head, reflecting the same blazing scrutiny.
"And you are a narcissistic, childish, adulterous prick!" She screams in return, her anger coming more from his confessed actions than the words he just spoke.
Hot angry tears are welling in her eyes, but she does her best to hold them back, not wanting him to mistake them for weakness. There's a long silence as she tries to calm down, John having been rendered speechless by her insult. He knows she's right and if there's any hope of reconciliation he better keep his mouth shut.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that." He finally says with a sigh, sincere eyes looking timidly to her as he fiddles with the zip of his jacket.
"I'll give you 30 minutes to collect your things and be out of the house. I'll call you in a week to discuss arrangements for you to see the boys. You are not to call me or the boys before then and you are not to come here unless you have my permission. As for the rest, that's still to be decided…" She crosses her arms as she watches him taking it in, expecting a fresh battle to brew.
John stands for a moment, mouth half open to begin his rebuttal, but thinks the better of it and simply nods his head in defeat. He heads upstairs and collects his things and is out the door 25 minutes later.
oOo
Kate sits at her desk, nervously shaking her pen between the thumb and forefinger of her right hand. She knew she needed to talk to Dr. Elliot, but she just couldn't figure out how to go about it. Finally, exhaling in exasperation, she gets up and heads to the head teachers office.
"Kate, hi. What can I do for you?" Beverly greets her as she walks in the door.
"Umm, I was wondering if Dr. Elliot might have a free moment. There's something I'd like to discuss with her, if possible." Kate replies, smiling to hide her slight nerves.
"Oh, actually I think she does. Let me just buzz her and see if she can see you." Beverly picks up the phone and dials, hanging up a few seconds later.
"She says to go right in."
Kate knocks lightly on Caroline's door before entering the office. Caroline is seated at her desk, her glasses in their usual position on her nose. She greets Kate and offers a tired smile, gesturing for her to take a seat.
Sitting this close to Caroline, Kate can now see that her previous observations were correct. The woman before her looks weary and less confident than her normal self, her beautiful pale skin lacks its normal glow, as does her hair and vibrant eyes. This only adds to Kate's weariness about approaching the subject she came to speak about.
"Kate, how are you? Beverly said you needed to speak to me about something?" Caroline says in a friendly manner, but lacking the normal cadence in her voice that Kate found so alluring.
"Oh, I'm fine. Yes, I umm, I wanted to speak to you, as a parent actually."
"A parent? What do you mean?" Caroline inquires, confused by Kate's meaning.
"Well, it's about William…and Lawrence too." Kate says timidly as she shifts in her seat. Normally she wouldn't feel so nervous about speaking with a parent, but as this is her boss it's a new territory and she's not exactly sure how well the conversation will be received.
"Is there a problem?" Caroline queries as she leans forward in her seat, placing her folded arms on the desk, concerned eyes now locked on Kate.
"Well, I've noticed William has become very despondent in choir and has failed to turn in a few assignments in Latin. It's not at all like him and I am beginning to worry. I thought I should speak to you, so as to make you aware in case he has something going on. Maybe it's a girl, I don't know, but I thought I should tell you."
Caroline listens intently and Kate can see the distress in her eyes.
"And what about Lawrence?" Caroline questions.
"I caught Lawrence attempting to cut his Spanish class with Angus yesterday. It was my conference period and I had gone outside to do some marking by the rugby pitch. I caught them sneaking off and escorted them back to class. Ms. Wright spoke with me later and said that Lawrence's attention has been lacking the last few weeks and he has become a bit of a disruption. She asked whether she should speak to you, but I told her I would handle it." Kate sits quietly and watches her boss, immediately recognizing the defeated look on her face.
Caroline leans back from the desk with a sigh, removing her glasses and rubbing her eyes. She sits quietly for a moment before shaking her head in sorrow.
"I thought they were doing alright. They seemed to be doing better at home." She says quietly, thinking aloud to herself.
Kate sits patiently letting her boss have her moment. It's clear to her that something has happened, but she doesn't want to put the woman on edge by asking too many details, despite her urgent desire to know more about this beautiful and slightly mysterious woman before her.
Caroline takes another deep breath and finally returns her gaze to Kate, a thankful, yet sad smile on her lips.
"I'm sorry Kate. It's just, their dad…my…husband, left us three weeks ago. I thought they were coping better, but clearly I was wrong." Caroline finally confesses, the sadness deepening the furrow in her brow.
Kate sits still for a moment, her heart beating fast seeing the melancholy take over those crystal blue eyes. She desperately wants to jump up and hug her and tell her everything will be alright, but she resists.
"Oh, Dr. Elliot, I am so sorry. I had no idea. I am so sorry to bring this up and open such a fresh wound. I know how difficult that is." Kate says, with all the empathy she feels.
"It's alright; you had no way of knowing. I don't exactly want it shouted from the roof tops. I know that's the reason for their behavior, and I will speak to them both this evening." Caroline replies as she brushes an errant strand of hair from her face, crossing her arms again on the desk before her.
The flutter in Kate's chest can keep her quiet no more and she leans forward, placing her hand on Caroline's arm, not caring about normal workplace etiquette.
"Dr. Elliot, I know how difficult this is for you right now, I've been divorced myself. If you would like an ear or just someone to sit with, I'd be happy to listen. I found that to be the most useful to me when I was going through it and bottling it up is never a good idea. I also learned that…the hard way." She gives Caroline's arm a gentle squeeze for emphasis.
Caroline is initially a bit shocked at Kate's breech of unwritten protocol, but something quickly changes her mind. She's not entirely sure what it was, but there's something about Kate that is so genuine, so sincere and so kind that she finds it to be a very welcome gesture.
"Kate, that is unbelievably kind of you, but I am doing alright, honestly. My mother has been a great help and nothing is set in stone just yet, we are still working through it all. Thank you for the very kind offer, you are the only one who has extended it, aside from my mother." Caroline replies warmly, patting Kate's hand that is placed on her arm.
Kate smiles and releases her grip, placing her hands back in her lap. She has doubts about the honesty of Caroline's words, but she knows not to push the subject.
"I'm glad. If you should ever change your mind though, it's a standing offer, no questions asked. Right, well my year 11s will be coming in soon with their French, so I'd better go. Thank you for seeing me Dr. Elliot, and have a good afternoon."
"Merci beaucoup pour tout, Kate. If those students give you problems, call me. I'll come give them the Ice Queen glare." Caroline smiles and winks as Kate stands to leave the room.
God woman, don't you know what that does to me?! Kate thinks to herself as she walks out the door.
oOo
The rest of the afternoon dragged on for Caroline as her thoughts were occupied with worry for her sons, and increasingly so with Kate.
What made this woman want to offer such a thoughtful gesture when she didn't even know her that well? Kate had seemed so genuine and kind, why did she not take up the offer?
If she were honest, she could use someone to talk to. Her mother was very helpful and supportive, but her dislike of John made conversation difficult sometimes. Perhaps an unrelated third party would, could, do some good. But Kate was her employee, and talking to her would breech that unwritten rule. Kate would then know her, all about her private life, and did she really want that? Yet, something about Kate told her she could be trusted and whatever they discussed would be held in confidence. Did she really want to go there though? Reach out to someone else and share all her personal drama.
oOo
The clock chimed 6pm in Caroline's office just as she shut off her computer to head home. Beverly had been gone an hour now and Celia had been picking up the boys all week, as Caroline was busy playing catch up after the governors' visit last week. She collected her things, placing them all on her desk before heading down the hall to do her final pass and lock up.
As she turned down the hall to the choir room she heard the sound of the piano being played. She approached and stepped quietly inside, lingering at the back of the room to listen.
Kate sat straight backed at the piano, playing Beethoven's Bagatelle in A Minor. Caroline was enraptured at the grace and passion with which she played. She had only ever seen Kate play during morning assembly and the refrains of Jerusalem were hardly sweeping enough to get carried away.
Kate's arms moved fluidly, as if an extension of the beautiful piano she sat at. Her skin was almost the same delicious shade of brown, a realization that struck Caroline, sending a strange buzz through her body. She quickly pushed the thought to the back of her mind as she quietly took a seat to listen.
After completing the piece, Kate moved smoothly into Moonlight Sonata, a piece that Caroline instantly recognized. She closed her eyes and let the music wrap around her, feeling the melody pull along at her heart strings.
Within moments she found herself overcome with emotion and tears began quickly falling from her eyes. She sat quietly crying as Kate played, each melancholic note drawing a fresh tear down her cheek. The song came to an end and Kate turned off the lamp and collected her sheet music before getting up to leave.
As she stepped down from the small stage the piano sat on, she saw Caroline seated in the back, wiping at her face.
"Dr. Elliot? Are you alright?" Kate says as she quickly makes her way down the aisle to Caroline's side.
Caroline frantically wipes the tears from her cheeks, embarrassed at letting her emotions get the better of her. Kate sits quietly beside her and pulls a tissue from her pocket, handing it to Caroline.
"It's clean, I promise." She smiles as Caroline takes it from her hand.
"Thank you. I'm sorry Kate. I'm such a mess and I didn't mean for you to see it. Your playing was beautiful though and I got a bit emotional…obviously. " Caroline gestures to her disheveled appearance with a wry smile.
"It's alright. I guess that wasn't quite the best song to listen to right now. I'll remember to play something more cheery, in case you decide to pop in again." Kate smiles with a wink, trying to relieve a bit of the tension.
They sit quietly for a long moment, a slightly awkward silence between them. Kate watches Caroline as she wipes her eyes and attempts to clean up her smeared make up.
God, she is so incredibly beautiful, even when she's sad.
Caroline busies herself with cleaning up her face in a bid to buy time to think. Despite her reservations about mingling with staff, she feels a strong pull to Kate. She's weary of getting too close to someone at work, but she's even more intrigued by Kate and the friendship she has offered.
"He umm, he had an affair, John, with a woman at the university." Caroline finally confesses. She's alarmed at the amount of relief she feels in simply saying the words to Kate. She wipes her nose and looks shyly to Kate, grateful for the tender gaze that meets her.
"Oh, Dr. Elliot, I am so sorry. That must be awful." Kate replies, gently placing her hand on Caroline's forearm.
"Please, call me Caroline. If we are going to be friends I can't have you calling me Dr. Elliot all the time. That would be far too pretentious of me." Caroline replies with a warm smile.
Kate smiles warmly in return, a soft glow igniting in her chest.
Friends, I can deal with that.
"Would you like to meet for tea this weekend? Maybe Sunday morning? We can talk, or you can talk and I can listen." Kate smiles and raises her eyebrows in question.
Caroline looks into the soft brown eyes before her, actually seeing them for the first time since knowing Kate. She smiles at their warmth and the compassion reflected back at her.
"I think I'd like that, very much." She replies.
"Good. I know just the place. Do you have your mobile and I'll put in my number?" Kate asks as she pulls her phone from her pocket, handing it to Caroline.
Caroline retrieves her phone from her jacket pocket and hands it to Kate. They put their phone number in each other's phone and exchange them back before standing to leave.
"Thank you Kate, I look forward to it." Caroline says as they stand in the hall.
"Don't mention it. I look forward to seeing you as well. Have a good evening Caroline and I'll see you Sunday."
The women part ways with a smile, each feeling excited and optimistic about their now budding friendship.