Thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed so far, I really am grateful. Can we also just take a moment to appreciate just how perfect Nikki and Lorraine's kiss was in Thursday's episode?
The incessant beeping of an alarm clock woke Nikki with a start, she had been in a deep sleep and in the middle of a fascinating dream. She smiled whilst still caught in the dazed moments of being woken, unsure what was part of her dream and what was real. She rolled over and reached out to her bedside table, slamming her hand down on the alarm clock to cease the noise. She rubbed her eyes gently with the backs of her hands and sat up in bed, the early morning sunlight was creeping in through her charcoal curtains. She was sat up just so she wouldn't be tempted to close her eyes again and drift back off to sleep, in the hope of finishing her dream. Today she was determined to go for a jog before heading to work, to relax her and let her prepare for the day ahead. She may have had a feeling of warmth and content inside her due to spending time with Lorraine until almost midnight, but the idea of facing Michael once he knew that she'd be the new deputy head, made her almost nauseous. It wasn't even half 6 yet but the sun was shining as Nikki swung her legs out of bed and walked over to her wardrobe to get her clothes out for her jog. She took a few steps forward and suddenly tripped on the pile of clothes and cushions she'd thrown from the bed when she got in from Lorraine's the previous night. She pulled on a pair of black jogging bottoms and a white t-shirt, zipped up a thin blue hoodie and tied up her trainer laces. Grabbing a bottle of water from her kitchen and picking up her phone, she walked out of her door and locked it behind her. She plugged her headphones in, searched through her library for her favourite album and pressed play. Making sure her keys and phone were secure in her pockets, she stepped outside and began her jog.
On the other side of Greenock, Lorraine was just stirring from her sleep. She smiled as she thought about the previous night, that particular kiss she'd shared with Nikki meant so much to her because it was so sensitive, yet still so passionate. The sun shone in through the gaps in the wooden blind, casting a golden glow across her silky, scarlet bedsheets. She shook her head gently and let her blonde hair fall around her shoulders in its tidy curls. She looked at her clock; 6:54am; "Shit!" She responded. She knew she was supposed to be at Waterloo Road by 7:30am to meet up with Michael, but she just wasn't in the mood for arguments. She got up from her bed and made sure her duvet was straight and tidy. After going into the bathroom, she applied her make-up carefully and sorted her clothes. She picked up her phone to check the time and saw that she had a new message, it was off Nikki. That message read, 'Good morning, what time are we meeting Michael?xxx' Lorraine quickly typed out a reply as she walked downstairs to get herself a cup of tea. Some days she loved being alone in her huge house and other days all she wanted was for someone to be there with her. That morning she couldn't tell which she would prefer, her emotions were running high. After telling Nikki she would pick her up at 7:30am, she busied herself so she didn't have to think about the day ahead.
Nikki's jog had relaxed her but in her mind she was still battling with all the nervous thoughts she had about the coming day. Her stomach was in knots as she had a quick shower and got dressed into a pale grey suit, she had to look even more professional now she was the deputy head. She looked at her phone to see what Lorraine had said and on reading the message her stomach tightened further. She had such little time until she would pull up outside, so little time to calm down, so little time until she *had* to be professional. After quickly doing up her jacket buttons, she sat tentatively on her sofa; with a handbag full of paperwork beside her; and nervously played with her fingers as she tried to calm down. Jehan prowled over and rubbed his body against Nikki's legs, reassuringly, causing her to smile slightly. A horn beeped outside, it could only be Lorraine.
Nikki got into the bright red Ferrari, she didn't feel like she was good enough to be sat in a car like that. After the briefest kiss on the lips, Lorraine started the engine and Nikki forced a smile onto her face. They turned around corners at a speed Nikki assumed to be over the speed limit, it certainly felt it. As she pulled the car into the car park of Waterloo Road, Lorraine glanced at Nikki, who smiled back at her. Nikki felt nauseous, she didn't want this day to happen, the repercussions of the previous school day and the announcement of being the new deputy could make anybody nervous. She was ashamed of how nervous she was, she didn't want to tell Lorraine because she seemed so happy and she wasn't going to be the one responsible for ruining it.
"Looking forward to today?" Lorraine asked her.
After a few seconds, Nikki replied cautiously with, "Well, as much as I can be after yesterday's events."
"You'll be fine." Lorraine answered, with a smile.
"Yeah," Nikki began, "I'm sure I will"
They walked inside together, towards Michael's office to tell him about their newly appointed deputy head. Nikki tentatively admired the tight black pencil skirt and silky, cream, chiffon blouse Lorraine was wearing with matching cream stilettos. Nikki's stomach was in knots as she imagined how the following conversation would go. Lorraine felt a wave of relief wash over her as they walked into the office and saw that Sonya wasn't there yet, Lorraine wouldn't feel comfortable arguing with Michael with her sister sat just outside. Lorraine checked her phone, there was a message on the screen which she hid from Nikki. After quickly reading it her mood had changed completely. Lorraine knocked hard on the door of Michael's office then pushed it open before he'd had a chance to invite her in.
"You are here then?" Lorraine said, questionably.
"Yes, what is this about?" Michael asked her, unenthusiastically.
"It's about the new deputy head." Lorraine told him cautiously.
"Ahh, we need to advertise quickly so we can get the interviews done." Michael proposed.
"We won't be needing that, meet your new deputy head." Lorraine announced, looking at Nikki to the side of her.
"Who? Nikki?" Michael retorted. Nikki awkwardly smiled, the knot in her stomach got worse due to Michael's initial reaction.
"Yes. You know she's the best woman for the job but you just can't admit it!" Lorraine replied.
"You can't make decisions about the running of this school without me, Lorraine!" Michael shouted.
"I didn't see you doing anything about it, did I?" Lorraine spat back.
"Is Nikki the most appropriate choice, after...you know?" Michael questioned, ignoring Lorraine's previous remark.
"This has nothing to do with my involvement with Nikki!" Lorraine answered defensively. Nikki looked around the room, deliberating whether to join in or not.
"The other staff won't see it like that!" He told her.
"You don't know what the other staff are going to think! She works here anyway, as head of the PRU or as deputy head of the school. What difference does it make?" Lorraine argued.
"It isn't a professional decision Lorraine, your feelings for her cloud your judgement." Michael replied calmly, ignoring everything Lorraine had said. It was the final straw, however nervous she was, however embarrassed, however scared of her involvement with Lorraine she was, Nikki could keep quiet no longer.
"In fairness to her, Miss Donnegan took time to consider what the best decision was for the school. She decided waiting to employ a new staff member wasn't a wise idea." This wasn't technically a lie. Lorraine suppressed a smile of gratitude towards Nikki at her calm response to the situation, she had tears in her eyes and Nikki's kindness was causing them to become difficult to contain.
"This isn't the time to take sides, will you two please just stay professional?" Michael answered, covering his own belief that Nikki was in fact the choice he would have made...even after interviews.
"Nobody except you is taking sides here Michael, Nikki is never anything but professional and you know it!" Lorraine replied, exasperated. Nikki's heart was racing with anger and overwhelming nerves but the situation was getting out of hand. She reached a strong arm forwards to Lorraine, causing her to turn around. Whispering so that Michael couldn't hear her, she said, "Lorraine, it's not worth arguing over. I'm not worth arguing over. He doesn't like that you went over his head to appoint me."
"You are worth defending though." She answered, trying to hide that she was choking back tears.
"Not like this Lorraine, not like this." Nikki told her, through almost gritted teeth. She regretted it as soon as it left her mouth but couldn't do anything about it.
"Fine, deal with it yourself then!" Lorraine retorted, whilst storming out of the door, her stilettos clipping the floor as she walked. Michael looked around awkwardly then said,
"Nikki, I mean it. Stay professional, don't let Lorraine make any more stupid decisions without consulting me."
"Stupid decisions? So my appointment as deputy is a stupid decision?" Nikki answered, before she even realised what she was saying.
"I didn't mean that Nikki, but you do need to prove yourself." He told her.
Nikki decided she'd had enough and without another word, turned around and left his office. What a way to start off the first day as deputy head. She was angry at Michael for being so rude, but she felt dreadful because of how she'd reacted to Lorraine, who was only trying to be nice. Nikki's nerves and the earliness of the hour had prevented her from thinking before she spoke. Where was Lorraine? She looked at her watch, it was almost 8am by now and some of the staff would most definitely have already arrived. Nikki knew Michael would soon want to tell the staff about her new position with her and Lorraine both present. However, in that moment Nikki made the decision that even though Michael had told her to keep it professional, her feelings for Lorraine were more important. She fumbled in her handbag for her phone, it wasn't there. Then she remembered that it was in her pocket, so took it out and searched Lorraine's name in her phonebook. It rang for a moment or two and then Lorraine picked up.
"I'm sorry Lorraine, I didn't mean to snap-" Nikki began.
"Nik, it wasn't your fault." Lorraine answered, Nikki could hear the emotion in her voice.
"What's wrong?" Nikki asked her urgently.
"It's just... I can't tell you on the phone." Lorraine sighed.
"Where are you Lorraine?" Nikki replied.
"This is going to sound ridiculous... I'm in the staff toilets." Lorraine told her, the embarrassment lacing her voice.
"You don't sound ridiculous Lorraine, I'm going to come and talk to you." Nikki told her, knowing what the response was going to be.
"I'm fine Nikki, just go to the staffroom and let Michael tell them about your promotion." Lorraine responded.
"No Lorraine, please just let me come and talk to you!" Nikki said sympathetically. Lorraine knew that Nikki wouldn't give in and that made her feel embarrassed and grateful all at once.
"Okay then." Lorraine said, shyly.
Nikki's nerves surrounding everyone else's opinion on her promotion and her relationship with Lorraine were pushed to the back of her mind. Her stomach was still in knots, but Lorraine doesn't cry, so something must have really hit her hard if she was crying.
Nikki walked into the starkly lit toilets and knew that nobody other than Lorraine would be in there so knocked on the only closed door. Lorraine wiped her eyes, smudging her mascara, opened it slowly and stepped out of the cubicle.
"Oh Lorraine." Nikki sighed sympathetically, hugging her close to her. Lorraine held her breath in an attempt to cease her crying because even though Nikki would never judge her, she still felt humiliated.
"Thank you Nik," Lorraine began quietly, her head buried in Nikki's shoulder, "I still think you should go and show your face in the staffroom."
"Lorraine, give up trying to get me to leave. I am not going anywhere until I know you're okay!" Nikki responded.
"Michael doesn't have a problem with you, don't give him a reason to have one." Lorraine answered.
"Lorraine, what's going on with you?" Nikki asked, her voice conveying her worry as she brushed a tear from Lorraine's cheek. As Lorraine looked at her nervously, she added, "You can trust me Lorraine."
"It's my best friend," Lorraine began, "I just found out from his wife that he was killed last night." She stopped, to try and fight the tears. Nikki took her hands in her own gently, Lorraine's nails were painted perfectly with grey varnish. She looked into Lorraine's eyes, encouraging her to continue.
"She told me he came of his motorbike. I haven't seen them for almost 5 years, I've spoken to them on the phone now and then but..." Lorraine trailed of, apprehensivly. Nikki felt her heart sink, even though she knew Lorraine so well by now, she still didn't think she would have such an attachment to anyone.
"He must have meant a lot to you, I'm so sorry Lorraine." Nikki whispered, squeezing her hands.
"Yeah, I've known him since we were teenagers. He went travelling and I concentrated on building up everything I've got now." Lorraine replied, walking over to the sink to sort out her make-up.
"Lorraine, don't feel guilty. It's not your fault!" Nikki insisted.
"I let my work get in the way and never made time to visit them," Lorraine began sadly, "No wonder everyone sees me as a work obsessed, money grabbing, bad guy."
"I don't see you like that." Nikki informed her, with a smile. Lorraine was still looking in the mirror as Nikki took a step closer to her.
"How do you see me then?" Lorraine asked shyly. Stepping right up to her, Nikki went to wrap her arms around Lorraine's waist from behind but she turned to face her.
"I don't think it really needs saying," Nikki started, "Yes, you're powerful and rich...but you care about these kids more than-" Lorraine cut her off by kissing her on the lips with a smile. Nikki felt that surge of content consume her again.
"Now go to the staffroom with Michael, let me get myself sorted." Lorraine answered with a slight laugh.
"Are you going to tell him what's going on?" Nikki asked, in a tone that pre-empted her reply.
"No, I'm not. I'm not showing him how pathetic I am, Nik." Lorraine answered, shyly.
"You're not pathetic Lorraine, you're so far from pathetic." Nikki told her.
"Go on you, go to the staffroom before the staff have more reason to get at us." Lorraine told Nikki, with an awkward smile.
"As long as you're sure you're okay?" Nikki questioned.
"Yes Nikki, I'll see you in assembly first thing." Lorraine answered.
"Crap, I forgot about that. I told Michael I'd do something about homophobia aswell. I'm not so sure it that's the wisest idea." Nikki said nervously.
"Fuck it Nik, if you know what you'd say, go on and say it because after what you told me about yesterday, some of the kids here need a good talking to!" Lorraine replied, almost managing to keep up her usual happiness.
"I've got a few things written down, thanks Lorraine." Nikki told her and smiled at the ground.
Michael told the staff about Nikki's promotion, much to the surprise of Christine, Audrey and most of the staff. After they began to leave, Tom walked up to Nikki and patted her on the shoulder.
"Well done Nikki, you deserve it." He told her and she responded with a nod.
Nikki walked up to Michael and said matter-of-factly, "I assume you're going to announce my promotion to the kids in assembly," He nodded in reply, "So, when you do I'm taking that opportunity to say something that really needs saying!"
"Is that really a good idea?" Michael asked her.
"Michael, some of the pupils in this school need to be shown that expressing such a homophobic attitude isn't accepted at Waterloo Road!" Nikki replied calmly.
"Fine, I'm not going to stop you Nikki, but it's your own choice...your own responsibility." Michael answered, impatiently. Nikki was taking that as a resounding yes.
As Michael stood on the stage to speak in front of the pupils of Waterloo Road, Nikki could feels her palms sweating, she was so nervous she could hardly hear what was going on around her. Everything she'd wanted to say to the pupils had gone out of her head. Her chest was tight, her breathing quickened. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." She mumbled to herself as she tried to calm down. Her breathing wasn't slowing down and she could faintly hear Michael talking to a noisy hall of people. She ran her hands through her hair and closed her eyes tightly, fighting the feeling of light-headedness that was trying to take over her. Suddenly, she felt someone tightly grip onto her arm and she quickly opened her eyes to see who it was. It was Lorraine.
"Nikki, breathe. Come on. Just breathe. You'll be fine. Those kids need to be told." She whispered to her.
"I can't Lorraine, I'll just mess it up." Nikki answered quietly, between each shallow breath, making sure none of the pupils or staff near them could hear.
"Right then, did you say you had some stuff written down?" Lorraine said calmly. Nikki looked at her, slightly confused, whilst taking a folded piece of paper out of her jacket pocket.
"So, I'll go up there and say something." Lorraine told her, unfolding the paper.
"You can't Lorraine, you've got more important things on your mind." Nikki replied.
"Nikki, nothing is more important than us! You got that?" Lorraine squeezed her hands. Nikki's breathing had slowed now and her palms were no longer sweating, but her head was sore from struggling to catch her breath. She smiled at Lorraine and nodded. As Michael announced that Nikki was the new deputy head, an inaudible murmur rose from the pupils.
"Partners in crime...right?" Lorraine laughed.
"Okay, we're in this together then." Nikki smiled affectionately.
"I don't think there's anything else to say..." Michael announced, with a hint of question in his voice.
"Actually, there is one more thing." Lorraine called, as she stood up. Michael looked around, almost angrily. Lorraine wasn't even thinking about what she was doing, she hoped words would just come to mind once she started to talk. She wasn't nervous, she wasn't really feeling anything at all.
"Right guys. This is only gunna be quick. I don't think all of you really want to hear what I am about to say, but you all need to hear it. A person's gender or sexuality doesn't really affect anything about them, after all, they've always been that way. So just because you find out something about someone doesn't mean you can treat them with any less respect." Lorraine paused and looked around the hall, everyone seemed to be listening. She saw Barry Barry's face looking back at her, he seemed less sly than usual. She saw Robbie smiling; this was as much about him as it was about herself and Nikki. Lorraine had made sure everything she said could apply to both gender and sexuality, after all, Robbie needed as much support as possible. Nikki smiled at Lorraine from the front row, a wave of content engulfed her as she saw the approval on so many faces.
"So, thank you for listening. Remember, don't treat people badly just because they're not the same as you. How would you feel if you were singled out for having brown hair? or blue eyes? or...okay, I'm sure you get my point!" Lorraine finished loudly, with a smile. Michael walked back to where he'd previously been stood, applauded Lorraine and smiled slightly. She didn't know, but she assumed this was his apology. Stepping down off the stage, she went and sat back next to Nikki who smiled warmly and touched Lorraine's hand.
"That was a hell of a lot scarier than most other speeches I've made." Her eyes were glazed with tears as she remembered the news she'd had just before all that.
"Lorraine, I'm always here for you. Don't you dare forget that!" Nikki whispered.