Disclaimer: I'm writing an AU fic. Do you really think I own Fullmetal Alchemist?

WARNING: LEMON ALERT. The rating of this story was changed from T to M. If you aren't interested in a lemon, skip the italics. Please continue to read.

Or don't.

It's your choice

Chapter Six – Thinking Over

—xx—

Edward shut the door and leaned up against it, slumping down to the floor. He immediately let out a breath of air he was so carefully holding in from when he had left Roy's car to the walk up to this very spot. He was amazed at how he had kept his composure through the ride home, that talk and especially when he had kissed the boy. Fortunately, he faltered the minute he was out of the car and far from Roy's view. He took a deep breath and relaxed. Things would be easier now, not that he had exactly had a chance for them to be complicated. He had gotten out what he wanted to say. Now, he could successfully go back to his life of studying and not worrying about dating. From then on, he wouldn't need to worry about Roy Mustang.

But of course, he'd have to avoid him at all costs. He now had something that he couldn't turn away from, memories. Before, he could be around Roy casually, as friends, but after today and what happened in that closet, he would not be able to be around him, because from now on, every time he would look at him, he would feel the warmth of his arms around him; because from now on, every time he saw him speak, he would imagine that open mouth on his; because from now on, when he even saw his hands, he would imagine them stroking sensitive skin. No, he could not be around Roy Mustang anymore, and right now, he pretty much wanted that way.

Because if Roy did not want a romantic relationship with him, Edward could not be around him and control himself any longer.

He began to stand up and was hit with two flying objects: a wooden spoon and a steel wrench, successfully slamming his head up against the door behind him. Winry and Granny Pinako appeared, both looking exceedingly displeased.

"Where were you?" Winry screamed, initiating the argument before her grandmother could.

"Here's a better question," Ed dared, rubbing the two large bumps forming on his forehead. "Where the hell were you? No one bothers to wait for me! I had to come home alone!"

"Don't lie, Ed," Pinako cut in, "I saw the car that brought you here from the window. You got a ride."

Edward's cheeks flared, "Yeah, I had to ask halfway home! But that's beside the point, why didn't you and Russell wake me up!"

"We didn't know where you went! You disappeared after lunch, remember?" Winry growled.

"I got home, didn't I?" Ed snapped, "I took a nap because I was feeling sleepy and by the time I woke up, everyone was gone, so I had to walk partway and then someone gave me a ride. There. End of story."

The two Rockbell women sighed simultaneously, "I suppose."

Ed sighed as they left the foyer, going in two different directions.

And for a moment, he could have sworn that he heard a car restart in front of his house and drive off in the distance, but by the time he had turned to look out the window, it was gone. He shoved it off as a figment of his imagination.

—xx—

"And speaking of figments of my imagination," Edward called rather loudly as he entered his room, "We need to have a talk, you fake."

But no such figure appeared. Edward dropped his bag on the bed with a thump and called again, "Um, Roy?" He walked to the closet and opened it, half expecting the imaginary teen to come jumping out, but all that hid in the closet were mass amounts of clothes and shoes thrown carelessly about. "Where is he?" He questioned aloud. He took a look in other various places, including under the bed, the bathroom, and under his desk, but Figment Roy was not found anywhere. Edward collapsed on his bed.

"Maybe this is good," Ed sighed almost disappointedly, "Maybe my mind is trying to tell me something, like that I need to give up on him for real. No sense in me having a fake Roy around here to remind me of that bastard." He stared at his ceiling apathetically for several minutes, running the day's events through his mind time and time again. Each time, he felt his heart ache more and more, missing that genuine smile on Roy's lips. Finally, feeling as though he was depressed enough, he pushed himself up from the bed and towards his computer, feeling the sudden urge to spill himself to one of the few people he trusted, Russell Tringham.

He poked the monitor button, the computer having been left on all day, and logged on to his instant message account, and sure enough, Russell's screen name was under his online section. Before he could click the name, the screen popped up.

botoniamania: Hey, ed, where did you go after lunch?

notashrimp: heh… I was just going to IM you about that…

botoniamania: …and?

notashrimp: you'll never guess…

botoniamania: so why don't you tell me?

notashrimp: well, it definitely involves Roy Mustang…

botoniamania: you did NOT skip all those classes just to walk around with him

botoniamania: did you?

Edward chuckled at the screen

notashrimp: heh, no… well, it's a long story but I found myself alone in a closet with him

notashrimp: and then we… well we

botoniamania: o.o

botoniamania: he kissed you?

botoniamania: aw, ed, you're such a cute little gay kid!

notashrimp: we did more than—HEY. I'm NOT gay!

botoniamania: wait...what? MORE? Details!

notashrimp: well… long story short… I'm not a virgin anymore

botoniamania: ...

botoniamania: …

botoniamania: …you're kidding.

notashrimp: no joke…

botoniamania: damn. DAMN. HOLY SHIT.

botoniamania: damn.

notashrimp: yeah… those are exactly MY feelings…

botoniamania: so what now, are you guys like boyfriends or something…

notashrimp: no…

notashrimp: he isn't actually interested in me romantically

notashrimp: so this whole thing happened after school and we had this argument

notashrimp: he doesn't want me so I told him that I don't want to be around him

botoniamania: woah.

botoniamania: ed, I'm sorry.

notashrimp: man… it'll be fine… like before.

notashrimp: I just can't be around him if he's not interested in me like that.

notashrimp: not now especially.

"EDWARD!" Winry called from the lower level of the house. "DINNER!"

notashrimp: I gotta go russ.

notashrimp: seeya tomorrow.

botoniamania: yeah. get there early, I wanna talk to you.

notashrimp: bye

botoniamania: bye

notashrimp has signed off.

Edward signed inwardly and shut off the internet and clicked off the monitor. He opened the door and made his way downstairs. Alphonse met him halfway down the hallway and smiled. "Hey, brother, where were you after school? I didn't see you on the way home!"

Ed shrugged, "I went to the nurse's office after lunch and fell asleep. No one woke me up so when I did, I had to walk part of the way home. That bastard Mustang gave me a ride the rest of the way."

Al raised an eyebrow. "That bastard, eh? Something happen?"

Ed growled between his teeth, "I'll tell you after dinner. If Winry finds out, she will never let it go."

—xx—

Alphonse stared at his brother, wide eyed. For a few minutes, there was silence. Al opened his mouth a few times to attempt speech, but decided against it and closed his mouth again. Finally, he emitted words.

"Ed… so you really…?"

His brother nodded.

"And with… him…?"

"Yeah."

"So… now you're not going to talk to him anymore?" Al said, puzzled by Ed's choice of action.

"Yeah…" Ed trailed off, looking in the opposite direction. "You don't understand, Al. After what he…I…we…did…" he couldn't bring himself to say the word 'sex,' "I can't look at him anymore without remembering. I want to be with him, I do… but he doesn't want to be with me, and I don't don't don't want to be his… his… his boy toy…" Ed spat.

Al bit his lip tentatively for a moment, before speaking again. "You're right, Ed, I don't know. I don't know how you feel about him, and I've actually never met the guy, all I've know is what I've heard from you—which is actually quite a lot, now that I think about it—so I can't help you like I'd like to, but," Al said, trying to sound as encouraging as possible. "But I do know that you gave up something… important and now you its hit home that it doesn't mean anything." He was being as careful as he could to choose words that wouldn't hurt his brother, but he could tell by the look on his face that it wasn't going over as well as he'd like. "But, what I really don't get is why you want to push away from him. I mean, why are you giving up? Honestly, that's not the Ed I know. The Ed I know would be a persistent bastard and push his way into this boy's life. I don't know if the sex made you timid or something, but I definitely don't like it."

Ed gaped at his brother. "How the hell are you so mature for a thirteen year old?"

Al smiled, "One of us has to be."

"Shut up."

"But, Ed," Alphonse continued, "if you really, truly, love this boy, then I think you should give it your all. If he's really that important to you, I bet you can convince him the same of yourself."

"I don't know, Al." Ed sighed, "it seems like before I was so sure, and now I don't know up from down. All I know as that for now, I want to stay away from him. It's important to me. Maybe in the future, I will approach him again. I know he wants to be friends with me, but until I know that it could even possibly be anything more, I want to stay away from him."

Al nodded and put a hand on his brother's shoulder. "I'm just glad I could help."

"Thanks, Al," he said, leaning in to bump his forehead against the younger Elric. "I know I can talk to you because you always tell everything to me straight."

Al chuckled, "Yeah, because you need something straight in your life."

Ed growled loudly, gripping a pillow in his hand and chucking it at his brother. "GET OUT."

His brother smiled and tossed the pillow back, "G'night, brother."

Ed held the pillow to his chest as his brother opened the door, "'Night, Al."

The door shut behind his brother and, once again, Ed fell onto his back on the bed. The ceiling, looking important, was his main interest, but, remembering that he did have homework in the classes he actually attended, he pulled himself up, reaching for his bag that had fallen off his bed sometime between the time when he had dropped it when he got home and after dinner. When he pulled back up, he was met with two smirking ebony eyes. Startled, the boy jerked backwards, falling on to the floor.

"So surprised to see me, Ed?" The figment bent over, lending a hand to help him up, but Ed shook his head at it.

"What good will that do?" He stood up on his own, regaining his composure, "It's not like you can help me up, you aren't real!"

"Well, I think we both know that," the boy smirked, sitting down on the bed. "But what's all this bullshit about you being unsure? Were you not ready for what my counterpart did today?"

"Shut up, you fake bastard! I don't want or need you here, so why don't you fuck off?"

"Temper, temper," figment Roy said coolly, "there's no need to shout, I'm right here."

"Go away." Ed seethed, "I don't want to see the real Roy, what the hell makes you think I want to see you?"

"Bullshit. You know you want to see Roy Mustang again, otherwise, I wouldn't be here,"

Ed bit his lip; he knew that that was right. His mind was telling him that he wanted to see Roy… it was simply in his form. "Yes, I know that I actually want to see him," Ed replied, "but I only want to see him if he had romantic interest in me, which he doesn't."

"How can you be so sure?" Roy smirked.

"Because," Edward responded rather quickly, "I gave him all sorts of chances to say something. All he said was that he wanted to be friends. Nothing more."

"That's what he says," Figment Roy said, "But perhaps he doesn't know, perhaps he doesn't want to say. Have you given it any thought as to why he fucked you?"

"He just felt sorry for me."

Roy raised an eyebrow, "Pity sex? I hardly believe that."

"Believe it," Edward said, shooing off the figment again, "I could see it in his eyes. Now go. I don't want to see you right now."

The figment smiled and shrugged his shoulders, "Alright, Ed, whatever it is you want. I just think you're being a chicken shit. You like him? Go after him."

Ed turned back to say something, but he was gone, and he was alone, in bitter silence.

And this time, he was sure he liked it that way, for now.

—xx—

Edward lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, Figment Roy's words swimming in his head. He was right… he was completely and totally right. He couldn't help but think how wrong he was. Ed knew that he wanted to stay away, but he also knew that he wanted to tackle him and make him pant and moan and scream his name.

"I love him." He whispered to himself. "I love him."

It hurt to say, because he knew that Figment was right.

—xx—

His hands gripped the boy's waist, staring down into his golden eyes. They amber globes pleaded for him as Ed's arms snaked their way around Roy's shoulders. "I love you," Edward mouthed, as if words would break the precious moment. He finally captured Ed's lips in his own, melding together as he pushed the boy down on the bed and climbing on top of him. The smile of his face took Roy's breath away as he made no haste and pulled off his shirt, straddling his thin hips. Edward lifted his arms to assist him. Roy scanned his toned chest, skimming his fingers across the skin welded to the automail. The boy squirmed immediately at the touch of the extremely sensitive skin. He let out a low moan and pulled Roy down onto him to kiss him hard on the lips. His hands wandering, he thanked whatever god it was that was giving him this time with the blonde before bring his hands up to run them through blonde bangs and back to his braid, pulling out the hair tie with a swift yank. He raked his fingers against the scalp and unraveled his hair, and then pulled away from his lips, much to the boy's dismay, to leave a trail of kisses as he headed for the boy's neck.

Ed violently pulled away when Roy bit down on a particularly sensitive muscle, but went nowhere but further into the mattress, which managed to bounce him right back into Roy's nibbling jaw. Roy smirked into Edward's neck as he pinned the blonde to the bed and began to move lower on him, kissing Ed's chest and heading for his favorite spot on his body, the right shoulder, where the automail was grafted on the skin. Something about hot, sensitive skin and ice cold automail under his lips at the same time, Ed shivering and moaning from the touch, and the metal taste were all so appealing to him. He felt the blonde's skin shiver under his lips and smiled pulling up to see two half lidded eyes and a tired smile that pleaded him to keep going.

So he did.

He sped up down Ed's torso and settled on his abdomen as he fumbled with his jeans, reminding himself to thank Ed later for not wearing a belt. He yanked the pants down as far as he could at the awkward angle and then smirked, deciding not to take down the boxers just yet. In his pause, Ed lifted his head and said dazedly, "Hurry… Roy…" he breathed in heavily, fingers gathering sheets in his strained grip. Roy returned to Ed's lips, kissing him hard and registering his shocked look with a smile as his hands remained low. His fingers moved, teasing Edward gently, tasting the frustrated moans that Ed was releasing into his mouth. The blonde growled into his lips between strained moans, eventually using the most strength he possessed to push Roy off of him and breathe, "Don't…tease me…" he took a deep breath, "…don't."

Roy gazed into his eyes for a minute before shrugging and silently agreeing, yanking the shorts down with one hand and lowering back down. Ed tensed up a little, but Roy kissed his stomach and calmed him considerably before he bucked up again as Roy's lips encased the length and slid up it once easily. Then, deciding he hadn't done a good enough job, he dragged his teeth against the blonde's erection just one more time before lifting up and smiling at his dazed eyes and his nodding head. His head that was nodding in approval.

So he turned him over gently.

Roy's heart beat in nervousness, speeding up with every passing minute, second, moment, as he sat up on his knees and unzipped his own jeans. Tearing down his boxers along with the blue jeans, he gulped silently as to not alarm Ed anymore than he was already, and leaned dow slowly….

…slowly…

…oh…so…slowly…

Ed lifted his head up and breathed, "It's okay, I love you, Roy."

The raven-haired teen stopped short. He opened his mouth to say those three words back, but nothing would fall from his wet, bruised lips.

"Roy?" Ed questioned, pushing himself up from the bed, "Roy, are you okay?" Roy blinked and looked down at the boy. His voice sounded far away, echo-y.

"Roy?" Edward repeated, "Roy!"

He looked at him in agreement.

"Wake up."

—xx—

Roy shot up in bed, a cold sweat dripping from his forehead. He looked around the room, letting out a depressed breath of air and bringing a hand to wipe some sweat from his brow and then resting his head in his palm. He began to throw the covers from the bed, but stopped himself short at the thought of the…sort of dream he had just had.

He could a wait a few minutes.

Four times. Four mother fucking, goddamned times tonight he had had that dream. Every wet dream scenario with Edward Elric possible seemed to be in line to pop up in a dream. There was the first one, barely wet dream material… them on a park bench making out and—he shivered—touching each other. Then there was the second… oh god… they were at a public pool and Edward grabbed him underwater. The third… the third could have been the worst of all of them… it was back in the closet, Edward down on him… oh god…

This was not helping his getting out of bed issue.

He sighed again and glanced over at his alarm clock. Four A.M. He was not going back to bed… no way.

It had been three days. Three strange days. Three Edward-less days since he had dropped him off at home. He had not talked with Edward and it bothered him. It shouldn't. It shouldn't bother him at all. Perhaps he had become so accustomed to seeing him all the time that now that he was being avoided that it was just weird for him. Possibly it was because he had never been avoided by someone (in fact, he was usually stocked by people).

Or maybe, just maybe, he really was falling for the little freshman.

Roy shook his head. "Of course not," he mumbled. It's only lust.

Deciding that he was good enough to get up and shower, he left the bed.

—xx—

He certainly didn't feel much cleaner after the shower. He yawned loudly and walked into his kitchen silently, flipping on the coffee machine and pouring grounds in. He sat on the couch a few feet away in the foyer and sunk deep into the lush cushions. It was times like these that he really missed his family. Really and truly. Of course, living alone had its advantages. He had no curfew but the city's. He could stay up late and sleep in late on weekends. He could have parties and listen to loud music.

But then there were these times. He'd wake up early in the morning with a problem and have no one to talk to. He thought of calling his sister and calculated the time difference on his fingers. "No," he mumbled, "it's too early. She'd kill me."

But he really wanted to talk to her. She had always been so good with things like these and really, he never had to worry about her judging him. He smiled at the thought of the sort of comment if he called this early in the morning. He sighed and dazed, but snapped awake when the coffee machine beeped to tell him that the caffeinated beverage was ready and waiting. Stumbling across the floor, he made his way over to the machine. He poured a cup and then went back to the couch, sipping the hot drink and then setting it down. He grabbed a framed photo off of the coffee table and looked at it. There were three happy, grinning children, each with a shock of black hair; two parents, giving each a small smile, one with that same black hair, the other with brown. He smiled and sighed, remembering the day this picture was taken three years ago. But that was back home.

He was an ocean away from them, and it hurt.

He stared down at the picture before reluctantly placing it back and grabbing his coffee again. "What's happened to me?" He asked pathetically, staring at the ceiling as the mug warmed his palms. "I'm addicted to a freshman boy!" He lowered his head and gulped the coffee, nearly choking as the strong, black caffeine slid down his throat. He put the empty mug back and stood up, walking to the window. I have a pretty good deal here, a pretty good life, he thought, I mean, look at this view. It's amazing.

It was true. He had a flat in the middle of the city on a second story, overlooking L.A. towards the coastline, the waves crashing and sparkling in the evening before the city lit itself up and made its own light show. And look at this place, he marveled, it's fucking huge, and free of charge at that! I have a bedroom, a library, a study, a kitchen, a living room, two plasma screen TVs… all taken care of by mom and dad! And the place can't be cheap; it's right around at least six clubs! He sighed, it's so much better here, considering what I went through. Though, even with all this, all my popularity, and the great school, I miss everyone. I miss mom and dad, Kayla and Evan, and even himHe sighed and leaned up against his view, the sky lightening. Life was so much easier before all that happened… so much easier. I can't go back there now, not after what went down.

He fished in his pocket for his phone, flipping it open and scanning through the pictures. Sure enough, there was one in there of the person he was looking for. Blonde hair spilled over his shoulders and he had a look in his golden eyes that could only be read as, "I'm going to kill you." He had been oh so lucky to grab this picture of Ed when his hair tie had snapped in class and he had been forced to run to his locker to grab another, running into a camera-phone wielding Roy, who snapped the picture against Edward will. His smile faded as he realized what he was doing. He was staring at Edward like he was eye candy. He snapped the phone shut, seeing a flash of the blonde hair before it disappeared into black and the phone fell from his hands. What's wrong with me? He's just a little freshie! He's a kid! I have so many girls I can go after and I'm staring at him! Maybe this is some sort of…some sort of an after effect from the sex, some sort of punishment for taking his innocence and his virginity. Maybe that's what the dreams are all about; or maybe… maybe this has to do with him. He had always brought out the worst in me…

Roy blinked, bringing himself back to reality. He moved here to get away from all that, and he wasn't going to guilt himself about it right now at the crack of dawn. Edward had done something to him, maybe it was his words. He had confessed his love to him that day, and then repeated it later. And that kiss… that was so simple it was seducing. Edward must have planned all this! He must have known that he was seducing the male! Hell, it is Edward, he'd do anything to fuck with Roy! He wouldn't give in to this; he was Roy Mustang, after all! He was Roy Mustang ladies man of BHS! He smiled, thinking, I just need to get with a girl. Being with him messed with my mind, if I go out with one of my fans tonight, I'll feel better I'm sure. He bent over to get his phone and flipped it open. There were three names in there that he could choose from, his main girls, and then there was Ales.

He shuddered, what was she doing in there? He wanted to stay as far away from her as possible! He thought and then remembered. He and Ales had been hanging out and she grabbed his phone, screaming, "OH WOW! YOU HAVE THE NEW TEXTING PHONE! LEMME SEE!" and then proceeded to mess with his phone while he just sat in silence. She must have entered her number into the cell. He couldn't imagine choosing her for anything. Everyone knew they'd have to be crazy to go out with her.

Crazy.

Or devoted.

And Ales was especially… energetic. Just the sort of thing he needed to turn him back on to girls.He smiled to himself.

"Ales it is."

A/N: First lemon! FIRST LEMON! I was so neerrvous when I wrote it! I hope it's good, because I'm so nervous. I had to read Kara's car scene and Lina (BlackMercifulFaerie)'s chapter of Family, Redhanded. Thanks for the reading… : D

So, I hope you like it.

I hope I can remember the plot I came up with… I was stupid and didn't write it down and now I have to try to remember. I know next time I'll write it down fo' sho.

So… I hope I have good luck with that…

Not to discourage you all…

Thanks for reading, please review, flame, anything.

Ales