I look at her and I worry. She seems so small and helpless…. and pure; the perfect victim for anyone. I don't know where this surge of protectiveness comes from, but it's there.
I look at her, and it's there.
Sordid Marks
"I'm getting a new phone!" "Well that's great, baby sis'! But you still haven't told me what the job is." "Erm, I'm helping out around the office," I was busy brushing my teeth and getting ready for bed in the bathroom; twinze was hollering back to me from down the hall. "Help around in the office? You have an MSc in philosophy from one of the best schools in the world, and he has you "helping" in the office?" "Uhhhhhhhhh…."
Oh, thank god my iPad saved me. It buzzed, making me go to my room to check it. A message from Sordid was waiting for me. [Come outside quick. I'm out front] I'd gotten used to his short-handed conversations via texting. No "hellos" or "goodbyes"; just straight to the point. Alrighty then.
I came out the front door of our apartment complex to find him waiting for me. He was holding something short, thin, and pale dark green. "Good evening, Sordid," I grinned warmly approaching him. "Here," he just held whatever it was out for me. "Uh, thanks? Is this the taser?" "Yes. It's all ready to go." "Ok then! I'll use it." "What do you mean? You shouldn't have to use it," he held it out of reach for a second. Oh boy, Sordid; I have no clue why but the older we get, the more defensive he becomes. I don't understand why; he doesn't know my secret. Still, he was always looking out for me regardless if I needed him to or not. This was one of those times. He planted his hand firmly on his waist and wagged the taser at me like a lecture's cane.
"Never be in a position where you will need it." "I won't," I inwardly rolled my eyes. "It doesn't require a possession permit. It's for self-defence. Don't expect a big voltage. Anyway, I gotta head back now." Well, that was fast. Still, he did come all this way to give it to me…. "Wait, Sordid," he paused to glance at me. I flashed him a sincere smile. This man… "Thank you, for this." This man is important to me. "No thanks required. It's late; I've got to go back." He's been important for almost sixteen years now. "Sordid….?" His feet froze again, and he shot me an irritated look over his shoulder. My lips pressed together as I formulated the right words in my head. Then they parted a sliver, letting the night air flow into me. "You don't have to worry about me so much." His eyes simply met mine as he spun around to match our positions.
"It's not a choice, Ana; there is no "off switch". I don't worry because I want to…. I worry because I want you safe. Is that so hard to understand? Cause it's easy for me."