"Look at them," I chuckled. "It's chaos."

In front of me both Sam and Dean nodded in agreement.

"I don't know what's worse," said Dean. "What's going on over there or the roads. Don't any of these kids know how to drive?"

His question was answered as a tan Sudan veered by the impala, inches away from taking off our side mirror. Dean cursed and yelled some unkind words to the driver, who had by now sped off into the parking lot we had pulled over near.

"Can we maybe find a place to park," suggested Sam. "Somewhere where we won't be run down if we decide to get out of the car."

Dean sighed and navigated the impala into the parking lot. Five minutes and several races later, we finally managed to beat the other contestants to one of the few spaces left.

"Wow," I said as I climbed out of the car. "Is it like this every year?"

Dean and I both looked to Sam, who nodded.

"Yep."

"So why did we have to come today?" asked Dean.

Sam rolled his eyes. "Come on," he said. "Office of admissions is this way."

He started up through the parking lot and Dean and I followed. As we walked I surveyed the scene before us.

It was moving in day at college. We were at a little campus in New Jersey, perched on a pretty little hillside on the outskirts of the forest. Ringing around the campus was an entourage of trees, and several more dotted the uphill climb to the office of admissions. I would have thought the place pretty if it wasn't for the fact that it was Jersey. I suppose I was still a New Yorker in my gut, because I felt like I was committing some sort of sin just by admiring the campus. New Yorkers don't admire Jersey. We shun it.

I pushed my inner condemnations away, focusing on not getting trampled by the hordes of college students bustling all over the place. They were busy bringing furniture and books up to their dorm rooms- though a lot of them didn't even seem sure where their dorms were. Parents were hugging their kids, who were itching to run off to find their friends. At least the upperclassmen were. The freshmen were crying about as much as their parents.

We made our way to the office of admissions, and I hung back while Sam and Dean approached the front clerk. She was an aging woman in a flowered blouse who looked like she was already dying to flee work. As Sam and Dean sauntered up to her, both dressed in suits and baring their fake badges, she did her best to suppress a scowl. She couldn't quite manage.

"Hello," said Dean. "I'm detective Blake; this is my partner detective Simmons. We were hoping to ask you some questions about a former student here; Alexandria Whittaker."

Surprise flickered across the secretary's face. "What do you want to know about her for?" she asked. "That girl's been dead for months. The police closed her case."

"We'd like to reopen it," said Sam.

The secretary nodded, and something flashed through her eyes. "What's gotten the FBI interested?" Her gaze swept to where the boys had just reattached their badges to their belts, then back up to their faces.

I left Sam and Dean to work out an explanation, slipping down the hall. Luckily the secretary paid me no attention, probably thinking I was hunting for a bathroom or something. Or maybe she'd just had her fill of stupid college kids for the day.

Soon I was in a storage room. Filing cabinets lined the walls, and I rolled my shoulders and set about searching them for Alexandria Whittaker's file.

Alex, as she'd liked to be called, had grown up locally, living with her parents just inside town. She had been majoring in social welfare, wanting to help women and children coming from abusive homes. She had also been a prominent member of the debate club, several of the college's humanitarian groups, and the rock climbing team. She had been liked by everyone, and as far as the boys and I had managed to dig up so far, there hadn't been any tragedies in her life.

Which was why it had been so odd when Alex had been found dead in her car toward the end of her junior year, a bottle of stolen medicine clutched in her hand. This had been last year. Since then the police had ruled her death a suicide and allowed her family to bury her.

Normally, the boys and I wouldn't have even heard of her, but two days ago the local cemetery's caretaker had gone to mow the grass and found Alex's plot dug up, her casket empty.

It took me a few minutes to find her file. I was lucky it was even there; the college seemed to be behind in updating its catalogs. I suspected another few days and Alex's file would have been going through the shredder. As I finally located the proper folder amid the thousands of others, I let out a small smile of triumph. The digital stuff was great, but it took a few minutes for even Sam to hack, and it didn't contain everything. The more detailed reports were kept in paper. It seemed technology hadn't completely booted the pen out of power yet.

I skimmed through the files, but didn't find anything that stood out. Knowing I could be caught at any moment I slipped out of the room and back down the hallway. I passed a woman brandishing a fresh batch of files, likely containing information on the incoming freshmen, and did my best to not look guilty. Either I managed to look natural enough or the woman was just plain unobservant because I made it back to where Sam and Dean were still talking with the secretary without incident.

"Is there any chance we could see Miss Whittaker's records?" asked Sam.

"Do you have a warrant?" asked the secretary.

"Uhh," Dean floundered for a minute. "No. We were hoping that-"

"That what? I could make an exception?" The secretary scowled and picked up a pen and one of the many papers clotting her desk. "I don't think so. You'll have to go through the appropriate channels."

Dean started to object, but Sam placed a hand on his arm. There was nothing they could do short of getting an actual warrant, and since they weren't actually FBI that wasn't likely to happen.

"Thank you for your help Mrs. Uh-" Sam floundered as he seemed to realize he didn't have the secretary's name.

She rolled her eyes. "Miss Carter," she supplied coolly.

"Right. Thank you Miss Carter. Have a nice day." Sam promptly backed away from the desk, tugging on Dean's sleeve to bring his brother with him. With a chuckle I followed, making sure to keep the file I held out of Miss Carter's sight.

"Well that was a waste of time," muttered Dean.

I smirked. "Not quite. I got the file."

Dean's mouth fell open. "You- what?"

I snickered and handed over the folder. "I snuck into the back while you were distracting the secretary. What did you think I was doing?"

Dean opened and closed his mouth several times, but didn't respond. Sam and I laughed as we trailed our way back down the hill to the car.

We had barely been at the motel for ten minutes when Cas arrived, slipping in the door to the room Sam and Dean were sharing. Climbing onto the bed I had already settled on and bestowing me with a kiss, he finally glanced over to Sam and Dean.

"I went to the police station," he told them. "Like you told me to. They didn't have much information for us."

Dean shrugged. "I doubted they would," he said. "But it was worth a shot. What did they know?"

Cas sighed. "Alexandria Whittaker was found in her car at around three o'clock in the morning on the twenty fifth of May. Paramedics pronounced her dead at the scene, and an autopsy revealed it was due to a drug overdose. Her death was declared a suicide and the case was closed."

"Great." I rolled my head in a circle. "That's about all we've got."

"Something tells me it wasn't a suicide," said Sam. "If she's come back as a ghost, it's probably because her death was violent."

"So someone murdered her," elaborated Cas.

"But who?" asked Dean. "And why's she only coming back now? Why hasn't she been Caspering around all summer?"

The four of us traded looks, but none of us could come up with a plausible answer.

"And why are her bones missing then?" asked Cas. "If she's come back as a ghost, her bones should still be buried."

We all nodded in agreement.

"Which means someone dug her up," said Sam.

"But who?" I frowned. "Who digs up a dead girl three months after she's gone in the ground?"

"The same person who murdered her?" guessed Sam.

Dean frowned. "Are we sure we're working our usual gig here?" he asked. "Are we sure this is anything supernatural?"

"Does it matter?" I asked. "Even if it's not, whoever killed her got away with it. We've got a chance to bring them to justice."

"Which doesn't make sense," added Cas. "Assuming the person who unburied her is the same person who killed her, why would they unbury her? The case was closed; no one even knew she was murdered. The disappearance of her body will only open up questions; it could lead the police to discover the truth. Why would the killer risk his or her secret like that?"

Again, none of us had an answer.

We spent the rest of the day digging through Alexandria Whittaker's personal life, which mainly meant going through her social media pages. We ended up relocating to the local public library so that we had enough computers for all of us, working silently until the library closed. Once we were back at the motel we made plans to return the next day, then retired to our own rooms.

Cas and I curled up together, talking quietly. Eventually we faded into silence, and I simply rested my head against his chest, listening to the steady thump-thump of his heart.

"What's wrong?" asked Cas several minutes later.

"Hmm?" I moved my head enough to look up at him, and found his sapphire eyes inches away from my brown eyes. His eyes were dark with worry, his mouth tilted ever so slightly downward in a frown.

"Something's troubling you," he murmured. "What is it?"

I frowned, only just realizing that there was something bugging me. I hadn't even realized it before, but Cas's inquisition brought my attention to the dark feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"I'm not sure," I admitted. I shifted position, mulling over myself. What was troubling me?

"Are you worried about something?" asked Cas.

I shook my head slowly. "No, that's not it."

"Upset?"

"I- possibly. That feels closer."

Cas nodded against the top of my head. I could feel the puzzlement radiating off of him.

"Is it your family?" he guessed at last. "Are you missing them?"

"Yes." I sighed; I would always miss my family. And while that did feel right up there with what was bothering me, I felt like there was something more this time. The question was, what?

I let my mind wander to upstate New York, wondering what the parallel version of me was doing right now. Probably pouring over homework or doing the dishes. Tossing jokes and stories around with my- her family.

That was when I realized. She wasn't doing any of that. She was in college.

"Of course," I breathed. "That's it."

"What?" Cas tapped my shoulder to get my attention, and I shifted so that I could see him while still lying comfortably.

"I should have started college this year," I told him. I let out a short laugh at the thought; somehow I just couldn't picture myself attending college. I wondered if it was because I couldn't picture myself in any school besides my old high school or because I could no longer see myself doing anything with my life other than hunting. In the end I decided it no longer mattered.

But that didn't make the aching feeling in my chest go away. In fact, now that I knew what had been bothering me the feeling only got worse, spreading throughout my torso.

Cas smoothed back my hair. "I'm sorry," he offered. "I forget sometimes how hard this must be for you. Everything you've sacrificed…"

"Please." I brushed aside his concern. "I knew what I was getting into from the first moment I saw you. I made my choice. You don't have anything to feel sorry for."

Cas nodded, but I could tell he didn't believe me.

"I wonder what college I chose," I mused. I sat up, biting my lip as I thought. "Do you think I stayed in New York?"

Cas shrugged, sitting up as well. "I don't think you chose Jersey," he quipped.

I scowled. Even the word Jersey set my teeth on edge.

I found my curiosity insatiable. I was dying to know what I had done with my life, what a normal life for me would have looked like. As though he realized this Cas vanished, and when he reappeared again he was holding Sam's computer.

It didn't take long to find my parallel self online. I had been keeping tabs on her over the past year and a half, just to make sure no monsters tracked my activities back to her. She had as of yet remained unaffected by my life, something I was eternally grateful for.

Luckily, it seemed all my social media passwords were the same in this universe as they had been in mine. I quickly started combing through her websites, until I found a very excited announcement of acceptance into Syracuse University's business program.

There were pictures online of my dorm room too. They had been put up by my dad, the parallel version of him that is. It was a typical college dorm room; two beds, desks, and wardrobes. Her half of the room was decorated with pictures of family and friends, movie and TV show posters, and a few funny quotes that I guessed she had found online. The covers on the bed were a deep purple in color, dotted with bulging ruby red flowers. The parallel version of myself was already sitting on the center of the bed, a book in her hands and a broad grin on her face as she proudly modeled her new dorm room for the camera.

I had to ex out of the webpage as my eyes started to tear, and Cas rubbed my back soothingly. We both knew that while I had started to add several personal touches to my room back at the bunker it was still sparsely decorated in comparison to the dorm room inhabited by the parallel version of me. There were a few pictures of Sam, Dean, Cas, and I, as well as some posters Sam had bought me for Christmas the previous year. Dean had bought me a soft, light blue, fuzzy blanket for my bed, but other than that my room was bare.

"Are you alright?" asked Cas.

I nodded, brushing roughly at my eyes. "Yeah."

Cas apparently didn't believe me, because he wrapped his arms around me and tugged me into his lap. I cuddled against him, letting his warm embrace rescue me from all the regrets that, despite my love for my new family, would always still be in the back of my mind.

I am so so so sorry that it's taken so long to update. School started up again (ugh) and I've been swamped with work. Not to mention I've been facing writer's block.

Once more I am so sorry that I haven't posted anything in so long. Thank you so much for sticking with me.