DUN DUN DUN! -insert Jaws theme-

Apolla: We are back, and we are...

Luna: Back. That's all. We are back.

Apolla: Chill out! Do you not know how to make jokes?

Luna: ...I'm an artist. Not a comedian.

Apolla: So you're saying I got all the humor?

Luna: Yes, which is good, because I got everything else.

Apolla: Yay! Oh, wait...what?

Rei: You're back! Finally! Now you can reassure Kai.

Luna: Don't worry, Kai, Rei won't die until a later chapter.

Apolla: Don't say stuff like that! Don't worry, Kai, I haven't confirmed that.

Kai: -glares-

Apolla: And I won't! Right! Because killing is bad!

Luna: ...No, killing is fun.

Apolla: You need to see a therapist.

Luna: I killed the last one.

Apolla: I know. The funeral potatoes were good. Remember?

Luna: No, I don't like those. But the bl------

Rei: I apologize for the twins' sudden disappearance. Apolla needed to do a bit of...er...cleaning.

Kai: Yes. Of Luna's mouth.

Rei: No, Kai, it was something bigger.

Kai: ...

Rei: Her shirt, silly! Luna threw black peas all over it.

Kai: Right...okay...okay. Apolla and Luna don't own...anything except Luna's trademarked Glare-o-Doom, Waves-o-Doom, and Eyes-o-Doom.

Rei: Don't forget Doomland!

Kai: She doesn't own that, she just lives there.

-

"Why are we stalking him, Mariah?"

"First of all, he disappeared yesterday. He must've known I wanted to take him shopping…"

"No surprise there," Kevin muttered. Mariah 'accidentally' smacked him when she 'didn't hear him.'

"Anyway," she continued, "he's been acting weird ever since this morning. Plus, he lost today's match. Rei never loses."

Lee coughed. "Er…but he does…"

Lee's eyes grew wide and he ducked as Mariah's fist went sailing past. "Oh, never mind. Rei never loses. Just listen to Her Royal Pinkesty."

Gary rubbed his stomach. "But…that still doesn't explain why we're 'hiding' in a bush, stalking Rei."

Mariah rolled her eyes. "You just don't understand. We're not stalking anyone. We're enjoying nature, and we just happen to be near Rei everywhere we go."

Lee nodded. "Right. Enjoying nature. And I suppose we were enjoying nature when we went to that store that sold only leather coats for five minutes?"

Mariah nodded. "Oh, that. No, Rei was just walking by, and I didn't want him to see that I was enjoying nature outside the store."

Mariah was met with three raised eyebrows. She glared. "Shut up, guys. You know this is the first time I've done anything like this."

Lee shook his head in astonishment. "Mariah, you stalk Rei every day."

Mariah nodded. "That I do, but today, I'm enjoying nature."

-

"They're stalking us still."

"Well, yeah, because we're only the sexiest individuals on all three planes."

"But still. They should try to be a little more discreet. That little bush cannot hide them all."

"It could, if Gary-the-Boulder wasn't with them."

"That's cruel."

"What do you expect? I'm an angel. I'm exempt from judgment."

Rei couldn't help but shake his head. His shoulder-angel and shoulder-devil had decided to trade jobs when he was four years old and now…

Well, it was safe to say that he had the wackiest conscience he'd ever met.

Never mind that he'd never met anyone else's conscience.

"Yo, Rei!"

Rei ignored Max's voice. He knew that if Max wanted to invade Doomland, he'd just fire off his Ray-o-Doom™ and Max would leave him alone for a while.

"Rei!"

…And there was Tyson. The Sidekick who Never Stopped Eating…Rei groaned. Seeing as there was no food here, that meant that Tyson would use the movement of his mouth to form words instead of chew.

Max and Tyson stopped in front of him. Tyson spoke first, trying to peer into Rei's eyes.

"Rei, you lost your match. Is everything oka…OH MY GOD DOOM!"

Rei had looked up and Tyson had seen his eyes. Oh yes, Tyson had looked into the Eyes-o-Doom™. Max pointed up.

"Er…Rei, what's with the Cloud-o-Death?"

Rei's shoulder-devil was especially proud of this recent addition. It had been on sale for three dollars and came fully equipped with drizzles and thunder. Lightning sold separately.

Tyson leaned over to Max and whispered, "If he was an anime character, that cloud would flash and start to drizzle…oh. Wow. Are we sure he's not an anime character?"

Rei leaned against a conveniently-placed tree and folded his arms. "What Cloud-o-Death?"

Tyson backed away slightly, trying to pull Max along with him. "The…one…above your head…shaped like a skull…"

Rei looked up and was startled to see such a cloud. "Oh. Hmm. It's raining, but I'm not wet. It must know better than to disturb me when I'm in this mood."

This time, there were seven raised eyebrows. Mariah still hadn't gotten the trick down.

"Well, anyway, I'm going back to the hotel. Goodbye," Rei said, and left.

Tyson pulled Max to his chest. "That…was disturbing."

Max nodded wisely. "I know. I thought clouds like that went off the market years ago."

-

"They're avoiding him!"

"Don't you dare tell me you completed the set, Angel."

"Okay. I won't."

"Angel!"

"What? I didn't."

"Oh, good. I don't want to have to deal with my superiors."

"Oh, come on, they're not that bad. I used to work with them, remember? The gods have a pretty good sense of humor."

"Ooh, look, here comes Tala. And the Sidekick."

"His name's Bryan, Devil! Get it right!"

"Right, right. Well, are we going to give him a chance to talk to them or are we going to keep steering him toward that other shmexy boy?"

"I'm supposed to be the pervy one. I'm now the official shoulder-devil."

"Ah, but you weren't born that way. Perviness is a gift. You either have it or you don't. And you, my dear, don't. Not sorry."

"I hate you."

"And I love you."

-

"Oh my god Bryan. Don't look at him."

"Why?"

"Because you'll get hit in the eyes with a Ray-o-Doom™."

"What's that?"

"Trust me, you don't want to…ack! Duck! Run! Take cover! He's switched from Rays to Waves! No one is safe!"

Bryan ran.

Tala ran.

Rei walked on.

-

"Where are you guys taking me?"

Angel looked up. "How did you escape?"

Devil nodded fervently. "You're supposed to be on autopilot!"

Rei shrugged. "It's not very hard to 'escape' when all you did was put me at the back of my mind. There are signs, you know."

Angel's face fell. "Aww, I knew we forgot something."

Devil started dancing on one foot. "Ooh, ooh, here comes Kai! We did it! Ha ha, you owe me a dollar!"

Angel sighed. "Ah, I never accepted the bet. You said, 'I bet you a dollar we can get him to Kai.' And I said, 'Okay.' I never disagreed with your idea."

Devil faded away, muttering. Angel followed, leaving Rei to deal with a concerned and slightly frightened Kai.

"Rei? What's with the rain and the Waves-o-Doom™?"

Rei shook his head to clear the last parting advice of his conscience, and suddenly, the cloud and waves disappeared. "Er…I bought them?"

Kai nodded, studying Rei out of the corner of his eye. There weren't really waves or clouds. It was just an expression.

"Okay, Rei, whatever you say."

Rei gasped and Kai took a step back. "That was a rhyme, Kai. Did you plan that?"

Kai focused on a spot slightly to the side of Rei's head. "Er…no."

"Okay."

There was an awkward silence, and a tumbleweed drifted by, squashing a cricket. (A/N We're sorry, but the writers' brains decided to take vacations.)

"So…what did you need?"

Rei looked up. "Wha? I don't need anything."

"But you called me about an hour ago, and asked me to meet you here."

Kai didn't add that his stomach decided to dance nonstop until Rei had shown up.

Rei scowled. "I'm going to KILL you guys!"

Kai looked left. There was no one there. Nor was there anyone to his right, behind him, or above him. The sidewalk, being an inanimate object, didn't count.

"Who are you going to kill?"

"Oh, just two people I have the misfortune to know and who have been doing things to me."

Kai gave Rei a stern look. "You can't kill members of the opposite team, Rei."

"Team?" Rei shook his head. "Oh, no, I'm not going to kill Tala and Bryan. That wouldn't be fun. I'm talking about two other irksome people."

Kai raised both eyebrows to show surprise. "…Okay. Whatever."

Kai put a hand on Rei's shoulder and said, "Well, if you don't need me, then I'll be on my way."

Rei started to nod, but then caught sight of a lot of pink and decided that he really wanted to spend time with Kai. "A-a-a-a-aaaaaah! This way! Hurry, run for your life!"

Scared, Rei ran.

Intrigued, Kai ran.

Disappointed, Mariah walked on.

-

Next chapter:

ZOMG! What's wrong with Rei's stomach? Why is Kai the problem? And…how long has Mariah been plotting this?

Stay tuned for the next installment of 'The Bully Game!'

Luna: -peeks out of hiding- Is she gone?