Summary: This is a true story about real struggles, sacrifices, and love. When Kagome faces the worst, who will help her? Why the Mighty Sesshoumaru of course!

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. I do however own this stories plot.

Title: Sexual Healing

Part Six

Notes: Love won and lost…

After about three years I found myself waking up. I had managed to shake off my suicidal notions and my numbness. I could feel again what I had lost. My brain and my heart had finally repaired enough to beat again. I felt like someone who had been asleep for a very, very long time. I slowly realzed I was now a freshmen in high school.

I don't remember much about my freshman year. I remember seeing Sango again and reaffirming our relationship as best friends. Ayame got her first real steady boyfriend, and Sesshoumaru followed us like a shadow throughout the school. I felt guilty about how I had treated him. But what do I say now?

It wasn't until my sophomore year did I meet my first "boyfriend," Kouga.

First off Kouga was an online boyfriend. Why online you ask? Why not get a real boyfriend? Why? I wasn't emotionally ready for a real boyfriend. Actually I didn't even start out wanting Kouga, it just sort of happened. Ayame introduced us.

We started out as just friends, but somewhere along the way Kouga decide to make it his mission to woo me. Maybe I was lonely, maybe I was flatter he wanted me, whatever the reason I gave in and he became my first boyfriend.

He was someone I could come to with my problems, someone I could count on to be there for me. That was really all I was looking for. At least for a while.

When I was with Kouga I had really vivid dreams. I once dreamed I was pregnant and it took me two weeks to convince myself I wasn't, even though I wasn't having sex.

The second dream I ever had was just as scary. I dreamed I was walking to Ayame's house and all of a sudden a black van pulled up next to me. Arms reached out and grabbed me, pulling me inside as I struggled to escape, screaming for help. I remember flashes of what happened in the van. Being shoved in the back, the sound of my shirt tearing, hot breath on my skin. All you need to know was I was raped multiple times by both the driver and the passenger. Then suddenly it was over. I was dumped on the ground where I was picked up. I staggered to my feet and ran to Ayame's house crying for my Aunt Kaede. When I awoke, I was drenched in a cold sweat, shaking and crying silently in the night. It took me a month before I could bring myself to walk to Ayame's ever again.

In this time me and my dad constantly argued. My mother stayed busy with work letting us scrap it out. I relied more and more on Kouga and in the end it pushed us apart.

Kouga and I dated for almost a year before things changed. He just began to disappear from my life. He no longer talked to me like he used to and was just overall distracted. I talked about it with him, but it never got better. I finally resigned myself to the fact he had probably gotten someone better, he was a player after all, and I left. Taking my battles back onto my own two shoulders. I never forgot Kouga, but I knew I had no heart left to offer for him. It was taken up with trying to protect my self from the harshness that was my father.

Chapter six complete. Amazing I know.

Aslan