That idiot's child
Chapter 6
"What... is this?" Tamaki asked while staring at Haruhi with widened eyes, with the piece of paper in his hands that had the letters "FOR PLANNED ABORTION" written at the top. Haruhi felt as though her whole body crumbled for a few seconds as she could do nothing but to stare back at him, but somehow managed to take a deep breath before trying to talk.
"Um... that's... I was going to tell you..."
"So it's true? You actually..." Haruhi could hear how he didn't manage to finish the sentence as his voice cracked midway, giving her the saddest look she'd ever seen that pierced her heart, but she did her best to ignore it while she slowly made her way towards him and seated on the other side of the couch, turning her body slightly towards him.
"Tamaki, please listen. I really didn't intend to do anything to hurt you..."
"Not to hurt me? You're actually planning to... take away our child? What were you thinking?" he said, this time in an upset voice that slightly turned mad, which surprised Haruhi a little.
"What I was thinking? What I was thinking was that this is for the best for y... us! Because y... I mean we... we don't have the time..."
"Haruhi, I'm sorry, but I won't listen to this. You've decided that it's best for us if we don't have this child? Once again you've decided for yourself what's best for the two of us. Don't I have anything to say? Doesn't my opinion matter to you?" he said with an angry voice that Haruhi was a bit taken aback at. Only once before had he yelled at her in a manner like this, and she couldn't stand it as it really hurt her. But this time she couldn't help but to feel her own anger grow as well.
"Of course it does! But this is different, Tamaki. We're not dealing with Host Club activities anymore, this is about our future, and I..."
"You what? You think I'm too stupid to think ahead like that, is that it? You think I never take the future into consideration? Is that the reason you didn't want to be with me? And why you rejected me all those times I tried to change your mind?"
Haruhi felt herself left a tad stunned as she didn't know how to answer that he was wrong, but decided she'd have to say something anyway.
"It's... it's not that. It really isn't." she said, now with a calm voice while avoiding his eye contact. Tamaki also turned his voice back into a calm one, while moving closer to her while giving her the same sad look as before.
"Then what is it? Why won't you tell me?" he asked, not receiving any response as she kept looking away with sad eyes. Seeing so, Tamaki sighed a bit before looking away as well.
"It has something to do with this too, doesn't it? That you actually thought of getting an abo..." he said without finished the last word as he clearly couldn't.
"I don't understand. I don't understand you, Haruhi. You're the most honest person I know …but now... for how long did you..."
Haruhi listened as he didn`t finish the sentence, giving him a peek before saying in a low voice; "Only since today."
"Since today? You mean when you smiled at me and also told me you would read in the books and all that, it was all fake?" Tamaki said with his eyes glowing with both sadness and anger.
"It's not like that! I just didn't know how to tell y..."
"That's something I never thought I'd hear from you. You were always so straightforward, saying whatever came to your mind, whether it was nice or rude. And now you won't even tell me why you thought we couldn't be together, even planning to take away our child without me knowing... seriously, what's happened to you? I feel as though the Haruhi I knew is no more."
Haruhi stared at him in complete shock after that last statement. Hearing him say what she had thought about him already a few times, she had never considered herself in that way. Had she really been the one who was changed all along?
"W... what're you talking about? I'm still me! Just because I'm a bit older now and am studying hard to become a lawyer... and being pregnant... I'm still me." Haruhi said, trying to sound confident, but knew she failed when she saw his hurt and mad stare didn't change.
"If you're not then tell me right now what's your reason behind your rejective attitude towards me these three years. I demand to hear it."
Haruhi shook her head a little as she gave him a serious and a tad mad stare back.
"What do you mean 'you demand'? I'm not obliged to tell you if I don't want to. Besides, if it hadn't been for you tricking me into sleeping with you, then we would never have had this conversation in the first place."
"What? 'Tricked you'? I'm sorry, but it wasn't like I had to force you, did I?" Tamaki said, not receiving anything but an annoyed stare along with a tiny blush from Haruhi.
"And you're making it sound like it was something I had planned."
"Well, for all I know you could have. You've always been nagging at me for us to get together. I bet you thought that if you could get me to have sex with you, then I would be yours forever without any questions asked, huh?"
Haruhi felt herself blushing at her own choice of words. Seeing as Tamaki's expression turned into that of what looked like a mocking one, she gave him a confused stare as he leaned slightly towards her.
"So if it's true you were tricked by me... why did you do it with me a second time?"
Haruhi felt her whole face turning red from both anger and embarrassment at the same time. Having no clue as how to respond to that, since he was absolutely right, no less, she got up from the couch as in a daze and quickly made her way towards the hallway, not minding that Tamaki was following her.
"Haruhi, I'm sorry! That was... please don't walk away!" he shouted as he no longer were able to maintain his seriousness and anger. Closing the bedroom door behind her, and locking it, she seated herself on the bed, ignoring Tamaki's careful knocks on the door.
"Haruhi, please. Don't to this. I really want to understand you. At least tell me why you can't tell it to me?" he said, resting his forehead on the door, listening for a response but got none. Haruhi just found herself staring at the floor with millions of thoughts racing through her mind, although one thought was dominating them all.
"Is it really true? I'm the one who's changed?" Haruhi kept thinking when she suddenly interrupted her own thoughts when hearing that no sound was coming from Tamaki on the other side. Deciding she would at least ask if he could leave so she could get some alone time, she heard him speaking up again just as she opened her mouth to speak.
"Haruhi... is it because of me?"
Tamaki listened quietly for a response, but again got none. Deciding to speak up again, he got interrupted as he saw the door knob slowly turning around. Giving a relieved smile that she was coming out, he didn't expect to suddenly have the door swung open to hit him straight in the face. Covering his nose that had turned red from the impact, he made a few whimpering sounds while Haruhi stepped out from the bedroom, giving him a pouting expression.
"That was for that last comment." she said, trying to sound serious, but couldn't help but to let out a tiny scoff from seeing the funny faces he were making from the pain.
"Ouch... you did that on purpose? Indeed you did change. The last time this happened you apologized, and now you're laughing at me instead." he said with his familiar teary eyes.
"I'm sorry..." Haruhi let out a smile as she pulled out a handkief she had in her pocket and walked up to Tamaki, putting her hand on his arm to hint for him to remove his hand from his nose.
"And you're bleeding a little too. Haha, I'm really sorry." she said as she couldn't help but to laugh at his pained puppy expression that she thought was really cute while she wiped the blood away. Tamaki couldn't help but to give out a little smile too despite the pain, as she really enjoyed getting nurtured by Haruhi. Finishing viping the blood away, Haruhi didn't expect to be pulled into a tight hug, but figured what was on his mind.
"So I guess it's true then. You were doing this all along because of me... it's like I thought..."
Haruhi quickly pushed him a bit away to stare at him with widened eyes.
"Like you thought? What do you mean, you knew about it?"
Tamaki looked down at her with a calm face as the pain had subsided a little, pushing some strains of hair away from her face with his fingertips.
"Well, you could say I had a suspicion. I just didn't know if it was in my right to ask. Although I realize that was dumb of me now."
Tamaki kept looking at her with his calm expression that turned a tad sad, as he bent down to push his forehead against hers, stroking her cheeks with his hands.
"Haruhi... just what is it you're afraid of? Please tell me." he said with pleading eyes that made Haruhi lose it a little. Looking down to avoid his eye contact a little, she thought it through before looking back at him with a tiny smile.
"Okay..."
Having heard so, Tamaki grabbed a gentle hold of her hand to lead her back to the living room, where they both seated back at the couch. Still holding on to her hand, he kept stroking it with his thumb while he silently waited for her to speak up.
"You remember right? That day..." Haruhi said in a low voice while looking down at her feet. Tamaki bent a bit forward, giving her a confused look.
"That day?"
"That day when I told you we wouldn't work out. And I told you..."
"... told me it was because we would both be too busy with each our studies, yes. How can I forget?" Tamaki said, giving her a tad sad smile as they both remembered too well that day.
THREE YEARS AGO – 4 DAYS BEFORE GRADUATION
"Haruhi!"
Haruhi freezed in her track as she felt her heart skip a beat at the sound of the voice calling for her. Turning around with a big blush to see Tamaki walking towards her with Kyouya at his side, she couldn't help but to feel really saddened at the thought of what she had been thinking of, but still managed to put a smile on her face. Standing still on her spot while Tamaki had made his way towards her, Kyouya had kept going in his track.
"Don't be too late for the graduation rehearsal." he'd only said with a sigh before disappearing out of the giant school hallway after hearing Tamaki's "I won't."
After having watched him walk off Haruhi suddenly felt herself pulled into a tight hug.
"Haruhiii, I haven't seen my girlfriend all day! How've you been?" he said with rosy cheeks and a big smile on his face.
"Ugh, Tamaki-senpai. You're crushing me." Haruhi said, but with a tiny laugh as she pushed him away, the both of them giving each other a smile with blushing faces.
"Haha, I'm sorry. But isn't it nice being hugged by the one you love, hmm?" he said, with a tad mocking face, making Haruhi's blush bigger.
"Y... yeah..." she said, clearing her throat as she just recalled what she had planned to say, when feeling tears starting to press on her eyes.
"Uh... Tamaki-senpai. There's something I..."
"Yo, Suoh! If you keep dawdling, you'll be late for the rehearsal!"
Both Tamaki and Haruhi turned their heads to see the voice coming from one of Tamaki's classmates who were grinning at him, receiving a wave and "I'll be there soon!" from Tamaki. Haruhi cursed him for interrupting right as she was about to say what she'd been planning to. Not wanting to risk anymore interruptions, she casually grabbed Tamaki by the hand and pulled him after her.
"Haruhi? Where are we..."
"I just have to talk with you about something." Haruhi said with a serious voice while she pulled him into a quiet corner of the school.
"Haruhi, I'd love to talk with you, but can we do this later? I have a rehearsal to ..."
"No, if I don't say this now I don't know if I'll be able to afterwards. Please, just listen to me..." Haruhi said as her face turned sad.
"Haruhi? What's the matter? Did something happen?" Tamaki said, trying to reach out his hand to touch her but felt the surprise and hurt that struck him when she moved her head away to hint that she didn't want to be touched.
"Haru..."
"Tamaki-senpai, just..." Haruhi paused a bit and took a deep breath as to mentally prepare herself for what she was about to say.
"You're going to study even harder to follow in your father's footsteps from now on, right?" Haruhi said, giving him a forced calm stare.
"Yes, why do you ask?" Tamaki asked with an expression that showed both confusion and worry, as he could sense the troubled feeling coming from Haruhi.
"W... well, and I... I'm going to have to study even harder this year since this is the toughest year... and then next year I'm really going to... begin my law studies for real..."
"Haruhi, why are you telling me this? I always knew that..."
"That's why..." Haruhi interrupted him again by looking him straight in the eyes.
"I don't think this is going to work out, that's all." she said hastily before looking away as she somehow couldn't get herself to see his reaction.
"Wha... what do you mean by that? 'Not work out'...?" Tamaki said while he just stared at Haruhi who couldn't manage to look him back in the eyes.
"What I mean? I mean just what I'm saying. We'll both be too busy. That's just how it is." Haruhi said as calm as she could, not realizing her voice came off as really cold and noncaring in Tamaki's ears.
"Just... wh... when did you... why? Why this? Haruhi..." Tamaki stuttered as tears had begun to come out from his eyes. Haruhi could tell from the sound of his voice that he was crying, which made her look back at him, but instead of seeing his usual idiot face, instead it was now dead serious which shocked her a bit.
"I don't believe you. Why did you decide this all of a sudden, when you told me just three days ago that you..."
"I don't know! But seriously, we can't go on being dating when we both have filled up schedules, don't you get that! I'm sorry, but I just can't stand in..." Haruhi quickly paused as she realized she was just about to say that she wouldn't stand in the way for him.
"I just can't stand being distracted!" she said, as a quick cover up, realizing her choice of words were pretty poor once she saw Tamaki's face look as if he had been pierced by several arrows, then turned right back to being serious again.
"A distraction? So that's it..."
Haruhi opened her mouth to quickly apologize, but felt herself unable to speak as she felt the mood between them had turned really tense, to the point she felt as if she couldn't breath.
"I'm sorry that I have to disagree with you. But if that's how you feel..." Tamaki said, looking back at her with dull eyes. Haruhi stared at him for a little before she looked down to whisper; "I'm sorry..."
Several seconds passed by as the two stood in complete silence, avoiding each other's eye contact. Haruhi tilted her head a bit to see two students from afar that were looking around for someone, which she figured were Tamaki. Looking back at Tamaki who now also looked at her, as he too had noticed the students looking for him, Haruhi suddenly went forward to grab Tamaki's suit by the collar and give him a kiss on his lips. Not even giving him a look or chance to say anything, she quickly let go of his collar again and ran away, towards the school's entrance. She didn't know why she'd kissed him, or where she was running to, as long as it was away. Hoping somewhere in the back of her mind that Tamaki was following her, she couldn't help but to turn her head slightly to check, but felt both a disappointed and relieved feeling in her when she saw that he wasn't. No one else for that matter.
After having runned for what seemed like hours, Haruhi suddenly realized that she had ran all the way home, seeing her apartment from afar. Spotting a figure ahead of her, she, for the first time in her life let tears stream from her eyes as she ran to catch up with the person in front of her.
"Dad!"
Ranka turned around to see where the voice came from, as he didn't recognize to who such a frantic voice belonged to. He then experienced something he had never thought he would. A crying Haruhi with an upset expression plunged into his arms and grabbed a tight hold while she buried her face into his sweater.
"Haruhi? What... what happened! Why is my little girl crying?" Ranka shouted with a horrified voice while at the same time he couldn't help but to feel relieved that his daughter finally acted like a daughter, seeking comfort in her father's arms. Stroking her head tenderly he pushed her a bit away to look down at her face with the most fatherly smile he could manage.
"All right, all right, good girl. Let's go home and then you can tell me everything, okay?" he said while he kept smiling, while Haruhi just wiped her cheeks and nodded slightly in reply, clenching his sweater arm.
XXX
"And so? Did you really tell him?" Tamaki asked, while he placed a cup of tea in front of Haruhi, before he seated back on the couch.
"Hah, no. No matter what I couldn't bring myself to tell him that I was in love with you and then my crying came from me breaking up with you. I just had a feeling that he would understand it as it was you who broke up with me and then hunt you down with a rifle or something."
Haruhi received a tiny laugh from Tamaki, in which she gave him a smile back before continuing.
"Anyways, you could say he was disappointed. At least I let him hug me for a long while, as I really needed to be close to someone too at that moment..."
Haruhi received yet another tiny laugh from Tamaki as she now looked at him with slightly confused eyes.
"Haha, at least now I know I was wrong about your reaction. To me it sounded like you really didn't care about us breaking up. As for me, I ended up not going to the rehearsal. I kept walking around aimlessly thinking about what it was I had done wrong to make you hate me..."
"Hate you? Jeez, you really are a dramaking. Because I broke up with you, you thought I hated you?" she said with a slightly upset voice, but received a smile from Tamaki.
"I guess I sorta did. At that time I didn't know what to think or believe. But at least I now know I was wrong, about a lot of things." Tamaki said, as he scooted a bit closer and placed both his hands on her cheeks.
"I'm kinda glad though... everything you did against me all these years, it was all with the thought of me. All because you thought you'd be in my way. Because you love me so much, isn't that right?" he said with a slightly devilish smile and blushing cheeks, as Haruhi couldn't do anything but to blush back.
"Yeah... I guess. But still..." Haruhi said, casually removing his hands from her cheeks.
"I still have my unanswered questions. Just how are we going to take care of a baby even if I should put a hold on my studies for a while? I'm not prepared to have you working all day long while I have to take care of a miniature you running around the house." Haruhi said, giving Tamaki a serious stare but only to getting her cheeks touched by his hands again as he gave a serious stare back.
"Haruhi, just what made you think you would be in my way? The thought of me studying to become the owner of the Suoh company all alone? Yes, I am busy, but that doesn't mean I won't have time to be with you and our child."
"And exactly what time would that be? The mornings and barely the evenings? Once every third day? Only every weeke..."
"Haruhi, I think you've misunderstood something. Being the owner of the Suoh company does give me a lot of responsibility, but it's not my entire life. I work there several hours a day like you do with any usual job, and the amount of hours always changes. From only three hours to perhaps 8 or 9. The rest of the day I'm free. It's not much different from how the length of your studying days are."
"But... all those times you get a call you always have to leave right away. What if..."
"Yes, I do get those calls sometimes where I'm told I need to come down to the company for a sudden meeting or if they need my advice on something, but most of the time I can pretty much predict when I'll get calls like that, since I'm used to it and all. They don't occur that often either."
Haruhi just gave him a pair of flustered eyes as she pulled slightly away so he had to let go of her, staring out in open air.
"Let me just think of this for a bit..." she said in a low voice, resting her head in her hands. Tamaki just remained silent the whole time, nervously awaiting her response. After one minute that had felt like the longest minute he'd ever experienced, Haruhi slowly raised her head again to look at him with a questioning expression.
"Does this mean that... it's okay for me to... be with you?" she said, as Tamaki noticed her eyes were shiny from tears. Bursting out in a big smile, he couldn't help but to launch himself at her for a tight hug.
"Of course it is, silly! I know you think I'm stupid, and I know I can be, but not so stupid as to wanting to stay in a relationship with you if I knew it would hurt you or us... or me, since that was your reason. Do you get it now?" he said while pulling away from the hug, looking down at her blushing face as he wiped away a tear from her eye with his thumb. Haruhi by know felt that she could finally let go of the tense and doubtful piece that had been gnawing at her heart for the past three years, and let the suppressed feeling of happiness take over. Clenching her arms tightly around Tamaki who just embraced her softly back with a smile, she let both tears of regret and relief run from her eyes as she buried her head into his chest.
"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I was a bigger idiot then you've ever been. I'm really sorry." she kept repeating while Tamaki just stroked the back of her head gently, resting his cheek on top of her head.
"I know, it's all right. I now know that you did all this out of love. Even thinking of having an abortion... oh, about that..." Tamaki said as he lifted his head to look down at her with what looked like pleading eyes. Haruhi wiped away her tears while she gave him a smile.
"You don't have to worry. I won't do it. I won't ever think of it again. Just the thought that I did makes me hate myself. You were right, I did change..." Haruhi said, while her smile turned upside down for a second.
"No, Haruhi. You haven't. I'm hating myself for ever saying that. When I look at you, I still see the girl I fell in love with, and still love to this day..." Tamaki said while leaning in to let his forehead rest towards hers. Haruhi let out a tiny scoff as she still couldn't help but to smile from the great feeling of relief that was still overwhelming her.
"I guess I should say the same for you. I did imagine that being this person with so much responsibility would go and change you, but I still see the same old idiot in there..." Haruhi said, while giving a teasing smile as she saw his slightly upset face.
"Is that it? What about still seeing the one you fell in love with?"
Haruhi scoffed a bit before leaning forwards to give Tamaki a kiss that lasted for several seconds. Slowly pulling away, she let her forehead rest against his again as she saw his upset face had turned back into a content one.
"That too."
XXX
"So are you ready?" Tamaki asked while looking over at Haruhi who was staring ahead of her. Clenching his hand tightly with her own hand, she sighed a bit before saying with a slightly nervous voice;
"No. But if I don't do it now I'm afraid I'll never do it."
Haruhi turned her head towards Tamaki to give him a pair of wondering eyes.
"So... are you sure that you'll go with me?"
"I am. Whatever happens in there I want to be there for you if it should be necessary. Even if it means he'll end up killing me." Tamaki said as Haruhi noticed a shiver ran through him. Letting out a tiny scoff, she looked back ahead and took a deep breath.
"Well then, shall we go?"
Tamaki gave her a tiny smile and nodded, before they both walked hand in hand towards the stairs leading up to Haruhi's old apartment to tell Ranka the news.